Broken Butterflies (11 page)

When Ilisha woke she was on her back, with her arm over her head. Bram was on his side with his arm lying across her chest. She swallowed hard and took a couple deep breaths, knowing she wished his hands were firmly gripping her breasts. To make sure she didn’t make him feel uncomfortable she bounced the bed as she rolled on her side and left her back facing him. His arm fell to the bed. He stirred from the movement and she pretended to just be waking herself.

Amy was waiting for them at Ilisha’s new rental. The house was across town from her mother’s. As they rounded the block, Amy waved them down. The house was small and white with blue shutters and a fenced yard.

Ilisha stood beside the car giving it a look. “This is perfect.”

The inside had wood floors, and the kitchen had been updated with modern appliances and cabinet fronts. When Ilisha ran upstairs, Amy followed. “Um, so you’re with Bram now?”

“No, he just helped me move.”

“You like him,” Amy accused, smiling.

“A little too much,” Ilisha replied under her breath.

“Have you kissed him?” Amy beamed waiting for news.

“Almost, but I stopped myself. What am I going to do? I don’t think he wants this.”

“Test the waters. All he can do is push you away, right?”

“Thanks, captain obvious.”

Ilisha walked into the master bathroom. It was small and had old fixtures, but she could live with that.

“You need to go for it. He is smoking hot, and he seems to be a good guy.”

“I’ve never been into someone like this. I guess I just don’t want to feel the rejection.”

“You don’t just like Bram, I think you love him,” Amy pointed out.

“Yes, but I’m trying to push those feelings away. It does me no good to feel that way when he’s making it clear he doesn’t.”

“Okay, so answer me this. What does Bram do for you? There’s a reason you’re feeling this way,” Amy queried.

“Everything. I didn’t think a guy could be like him. He’s thoughtful, cares about me, he’d lay down his life for me, and of course he’s incredibly hot.”

“I think you know what you need to do.”

“I know.”

Bram stomped up the stairs, and she knew he was making it more than obvious he was approaching.

“Do you think he heard us,” Amy whispered.

“Don’t know.”

Appearing in the door to the bedroom, Bram smiled and said, “Moving truck is here.”

Amy said her goodbyes. “I have a little one to look after. Call me later” and winked as she walked out.

Ilisha had the movers carry all the furniture to the correct rooms and just leave the boxes downstairs. The movers left well after midnight.

“Tired?” Bram asked, taking her hand.

“No, not really.”

She moved some boxes around. “I need to find my box with bedding.”

Bram located it in the back of the mess and carried it upstairs for her. He helped her make her bed.

“You’re awfully quiet today,” he said, tugging the sheet.

“Sorry, just have a lot on my mind.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not yet. How far away can you hear?”

“Yes, I know you were talking about me earlier.”

Ilisha blushed slightly. “What did you hear?”

“My name and hushed voices. I could’ve heard everything if I honed in on it, but that’s not right.”

Ilisha nodded, relieved.

“Hungry?”

Ilisha giggled. “No, I think I just want to be alone for a while.”

“Okay. You know where to find me.” He kissed her on the cheek and walked out.

She sat on her freshly made bed, grabbed a pillow and held it against her. Staring ahead, Bram’s face wouldn’t leave her thoughts.

“Ugh,” she said and changed into pajamas.

A storm echoed in the near distance. She slid the curtains back to see lightning flash across the sky. Looking for anything that would take her mind off Bram, she unpacked some boxes. Starting with kitchen items, she sorted it all out and placed them in the cabinets and drawers. Even the rhythm of sorting and cleaning did nothing for her. This situation was either going to turn into her own self-pleasure, which she knew would do no good, or she would have to act on her emotions. She put her elbows on the kitchen counter and took hold of her hair, sighing. In the next second, she grabbed her keys and ran out into the stormy night.

It took minutes to reach the barn. Rain fell in heavy curtains, and she was drenched by the time she got to the stairs.

“Bram!” she shouted from the bottom.

He appeared, sliding to a stop. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to talk to you.”

He looked down and blew out a breath. “You scared me.”

She bounded upstairs, hair and clothes clinging to her and water dripping across the floor. “Why did you fall?” she asked.

He backed up giving her space to come into the room. “I told you why.”

“You said you couldn’t let me die. Why?”

Bram looked around, searching for anything other than an answer.

“I need to know.” As she spoke, she came into the light and heard Bram swallow hard.

He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped. His breathing was fast and he refused to look at her.

“Are you really not going to answer me?” she asked hurt.

He turned and walked to the small closet. He handed her a button down shirt.

“What the hell is this for?”

“Can you just put it on?”

“Why?” she almost shouted.

He didn’t answer and still refused to look at her.

“You know what, forget this.” Ilisha threw the shirt on the ground and ran back into the rain. As her hand cupped the door handle of her car, Bram’s hand rested on the window.

“Just leave it alone Bram. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come.” Large plumes of steam came out of her mouth as she spoke.

He took her by the shoulders and spun her around. “What good is it going to do for me to tell you how I feel?”

“Because I need to know, that’s why.” Tears mixed in with the raindrops.

Bram sighed heavy. “I fell because I love you and I couldn’t let you go. And now because of my actions, your life is in constant danger.”

Ilisha smiled softly. “Why did you want me to put the shirt on?”

“Because you’re soaked, and I could see through your shirt.”

“And?”

“I’m a guy, Ilisha, do I need to explain this?”

She waited for an answer, but instead his hands gripped her face, his lips meeting hers. Ilisha took in every second of this kiss, fearing it would be the last. Bram’s fingers slid to the back of her neck and held onto her wet hair. Ilisha trembled from the cold rain, but ignored it. As his quivering hands found her breasts, she couldn’t tell what was making her shake. She felt colder at his touch, but her heart was full and warm. He lifted her from the ground causing her flip-flops to land with a splash. Ilisha wrapped her legs around him; their lips never parting. He started to carry her into the barn as lightning hit close by. Bram looked to the sky and closed his eyes in concentration. “We gotta move,” he put her back on her feet, and they ran inside just as a bolt hit a tree by the lane. Once upstairs, Bram hesitated before peeling off her wet tank top. Her teeth began to chatter. Swiping his arm under her legs, he picked her up and carried her to the bathroom.

He turned the knob to the shower and peeled his shirt off.

“S-s-o-r-r-y,” Ilisha said, teeth chattering.

He smiled and slid off her wet pants. Taking her hand, he escorted her behind the shower curtain at the same time unbuttoning his jeans and dropping them. Bram pressed his body to her back, letting the hot water run over them. His lips brushed her neck, and she leaned her head forward enjoying the sensation.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he whispered.

When they both stopped shivering, he turned her around and leaned into her. Ilisha wrapped her arms around his neck, as he lifted her and placed her legs around him. With one hand he turned off the water while the other opened the curtain.

Carrying her to the bed, he laid her down gently. His hands brushed the wet hair from her forehead. “I love you.”

She smiled and pushed her hips into his. Ilisha wanted to feel him, all of him. His tongue slid into her mouth, and she couldn’t help but saver the taste.

Bram pulled away. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” she moaned.

He positioned himself to take her. She didn’t want to wait any longer. Ilisha took hold of him and eased him inside of her, making sure to hit all the sensitive parts on the way. Bram sucked in a breath, then let out a moan. Her hands hit the bedspread bunching it up in her fists. As the pressure in her body built, there was no such thing as enough of him. With every movement of his hips she wanted more.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t hold it anymore,” he said.

Ilisha nodded and stoked his cheeks.

Bram pushed into her a few more times, then let out a half scream, half moan. They looked into each other’s eyes, breathing hard.

“Don’t apologize,” she said, stroking his back.

“I just wanted it to be good for you.”

“It was.” She kissed him deeply.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“Where am I going?” she asked, smiling.

“Home.”

“So come with me.”

He knew she would want to go home and sleep in her new house. They laid beside each other for a while in silence. Everything that had just transpired ran over and over in her mind, like her own personal dirty movie. Knowing she wanted him again right this second, and he probably wouldn’t be ready for a little while, she relented and got up.

Bram handed her a dry shirt, but she slid her wet pants back on. He took some clean clothes for himself and turned out the light.

At home Ilisha changed her clothes into some dry pajamas, and she smiled as Bram had a fond look on his face.

“What?” she asked with a crooked smile.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

Ilisha crawled under the covers and motioned him with her finger. He ditched his clothes and lay beside her. Facing each other they talked.

“I’ve never felt like that during sex,” she confessed.

“Me either.”

Ilisha bit her lip, smiling. “Smart ass.”

“So explain.”

She thought about how to put it into words. “It was so powerful. It’s like I could feel every part of you, down to your soul.”

“That’s because you have all of me.”

She looked confused.

“You’re a part of me. I don’t know how to explain it.” He thought for a second. “Being an angel, I love completely, and it’s powerful. Because you love me back you feel some of that.”

“Well, thank you for the privilege.”

His fingers traced down her neck and over her tank top, circling her breasts. Ilisha felt up his thigh until her hand dropped between his legs. He was ready again.

She pushed him on his back and climbed on top ditching her clothes as she went. This time lasted quite a bit longer because she was in charge. When they finished she laid her head on his chest, and let her body stretch out across his. She was content to sleep that way all night.

Bram ventured downstairs to make breakfast, and she was happy Amy had thought to stock a few things. Ilisha watched him leave the room and jumped up to brush her teeth and fix her face a little bit. Bram was digging for a pan when she came down.

Ilisha leaned on the counter beside him. “This is so weird, I’ve never felt like this about anyone. It’s like I may explode if you don’t touch me, but it’s so much more than just sex. Does that make any sense?”