Broken Dreams (33 page)

He held my face with both of his hands and wiped my eyes, not that it mattered. He planted a passionate kiss on my lips. I loved him so much.

“I love you,” Henry said, as he pulled away. “I thought you were gone.” I began to sob. “Love, why did you leave without telling us? Don’t ever do that again!” He couldn’t decide if he was angry or relieved.

“It was real; I felt her!” I was trying to speak through my tears, loud enough for the storm not to drown me out.

“What was real? What did you feel?”

“My mother. It was real.”

“Love, what was real?”

“I dreamt about her. She was searching for me. I felt her pain. I feel her.” I put my hand over my heart and continued sobbing.

“Oh, love.” He pulled me close again. Claire came running up to us.

“Come on! Let’s get into Sophie’s truck.” She grabbed our arms, and we bolted for the truck.

Nick hopped out so Henry and I could get into the back seat. He ran to the very back and opened the lift gate so he could get in. All the doors slammed shut. I started shivering, and my teeth were chattering. I was soaked to the bone.

“Nick, there’s a blanket in the bin,” Sophie spoke up. “Grab it for Elaina.” He pulled out a thin blanket and wrapped it around me.

“Thank you,” I said through my sobs and chattering teeth. Henry wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. Claire had turned around in the front seat, and she grabbed my hand. She rubbed the top gently with her thumb.

“Elaina, you scared the shit out of us.” She was speaking to me in a concerned manner, but she was lecturing me at the same time. I had been waiting for a reprimanding from someone in the truck. I couldn’t look at her. “Why did you go?”

“I had a dream that my mom was looking for me. I felt her. It was so real.” I was ashamed of what I had put them through. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all right, love. We’re together now.” Henry rocked me, holding me tight to his body. His arms were always a comfortable place to land.

“I had a similar dream about Mom.”

I whipped around. “You did? When?” I wiped my nose on my arm.

“Last night,” Nick mumbled. “I didn't want to say anything to you, though.”

I gasped. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I felt that I needed to convince Henry that we needed to go look for my mom. “Henry, it has to be true. If we both had a dream…”

He cut me off. “Listen, love, those are dreams. It’s just your mind’s way of working out your problems.”

“But what if she is out there, alone and scared?” I pleaded.

“I highly doubt it,” he said as he stroked my cheek with his thumb. I looked down at my lap, and fiddled with my fingers. Henry pulled me into him again. “I want to believe that she or someone else’s loved one is alive, but the possibility is really slim.”

“If there is a slim chance, I want to try to find her!” I was becoming irate.

“There’s no way. We barely have enough supplies to get us through the night. And we are severely low on gas.” I looked at him in disbelief. In my heart, I felt that she was still out there.

When I looked at Nick for some assistance, he shook his head. I pulled myself completely away from Henry. I was acting like I was a two-year-old who didn’t get her way. “There has to be a way! Please, Nick. Please help me convince him!”

“Listen, I love Mom, but it’s far too dangerous to try to go get her…if there is even a
her
to get!” I didn’t like his response, either.

“How is it any more dangerous than all of us leaving and trying to find that Gunther assface that you two so desperately want to get to?” Everyone was silent, looking at one another.

“Henry, take Nick and get into your truck. We are going to go look for their mum,” Sophie said. I was shocked. “She has a point. Let us see if we can get to her home. If she isn’t there, then we will go find Gunther.”

Henry looked back at Nick, then opened the door and readied himself to hop out into the storm. He looked back at me for a moment. I could tell he wanted to say something. I felt Nick put his hand on my shoulder. “I hope we find her, sis. I hope this is worth it.” Then he hopped out.

Henry was still looking at me. I didn’t have anything to say. Then they both closed their doors and headed to Henry’s truck.

Chapter 14

he ride to my mom’s was uncomfortably silent. We followed behind Henry and Nick. Since we couldn’t get to the highway from where I had stopped, Henry took us up to the next on-ramp. Luckily, there was enough space for us to squeak through.

The highway was congested, but we were able to push some of the vehicles out of the way. It was a slow process, but we were getting through. Eventually, the storm passed and the sun was shining, which made it a bit easier.

Some vehicles were abandoned, others had true deads in them. Henry slowed down and pulled off onto the emergency lane. “What’s he doing?” Claire asked.

“I don’t know.” Sophie pulled up behind Henry’s truck. “Stay in the truck, both of you, until I figure out what he’s doing.” She glared back at me, then hopped out. I had a feeling she was trying to send me a message. I had no idea why she would think I would do the opposite of what she wanted.

***

“Nick, stay in the truck. I need to speak to Sophie.” Nick nodded, while looking off into the distance. He was exhausted and just wanted a few minutes of peace within the madness.

Henry jumped out and closed the door. He and Sophie walked a distance away from the trucks.

“What’s up, darling?”

“My head. It’s starting to rage.” He tried not to show his pain.

“Are you feeling a little bit of nausea?”

Henry swallowed hard. “Yeah.” He rubbed his temples.

“Maybe a hangover?” Sophie crossed her arms across her chest, and rolled her eyes. “I’m sure your drinking isn’t helping, Henry. It’s probably causing it to come on faster.”

“Please, Sophie,” he groaned in annoyance.

“You need to stop with your boozing. We talked about this ages ago, remember?”

“Leave it,” he growled. He rubbed his temples again, then pressed his palms into his eyes, trying to alleviate some of the pressure.

“Shit, Henry. We need to get you a proper supply, or you are just going to continue to crash.”

“I know.” Henry looked at Sophie and took a deep breath. His eyes were becoming gray again. It was happening faster than usual, and he knew Sophie was right. His drinking was probably causing him to crash harder and faster. He needed to do something. He needed a donation sooner rather than later.

“What are you thinking?” He didn’t respond. “Henry…you are not thinking…? No. Absolutely not!”

“I have to do something, Sophie!”

“We can’t!”

“What do I have to lose?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Your life! My life! They will kill us both!” She raged at him in fear.

“I do believe we lost our lives ages ago.”

Sophie looked down and kicked at a rock. The silence was uncomfortable. He rubbed his tired, achy eyes.

“Heard, but we can’t. Not yet.”

“This is so fucking frustrating!” he yelled, then grabbed his head. “I hate this. I really do.”

Sophie rubbed his shoulder. “I know. We’ll think of something. See if Nick will drive for a while so you can get some rest.”

Henry nodded. “We need to get some gas first. You’re probably near out.”

“The low fuel light just came on when I put it in park.”

“The cars around here look virtually unscathed,” he said, looking around.

“Okay, we will check them out.”

“Right.” They both turned and headed back to their trucks.

***

“What do you think they are talking about?” Claire asked.

“I don’t know, but something isn’t right.” My skepticism was out in the open, speaking for itself, as usual. “I saw Henry grab his head a few times, like he was in pain. I don’t want to see him hurting.”

“I’m worried,” Claire quietly uttered.

“Me, too. Very much.” I took a deep breath.

We sat in silence until Sophie opened the door. “All right, ladies. We are going to drive up to those vehicles and see if they have gas in them. If they do, I want to check them out for any supplies that would be useful.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” I said, while staring out the window. Sophie sighed. She started the truck, and we drove up to the three vehicles that were blocking the highway.

Henry was walking around the cars, securing them, checking for life or undeads. Once he had cleared the area, he waved at us to come out as he checked the gas tank on the first car.

“Bloody hell. This one is near empty.” He stood up and rubbed his neck.

“Henry! This one seems to be about half full,” Sophie yelled.

“Of course it has to be the one in the middle. I can’t even squeeze myself between to get to the gas door. Fuck me.”

Nick stood with his hands on his hips next to Henry, surveying the situation.

“We’ll just push this one out of the way.” Nick pointed at the car to the right as he spoke. “Let me see if it’s unlocked. If not, I’ll get it open.” Nick smirked as he held up his fist, then put his hands on his hips like a super hero.

Henry chuckled a little. “I can get it open. I have lock picking tools.”

Nick waved Henry off. He walked up to the passenger side and, sure enough, it was unlocked. Luckily, the keys were in the ignition. “I’ve got keys!” He climbed through the car and tried to start it. It took a few tries but, eventually, he got it to turn over. There was enough gas to drive over to the side of the highway before it sputtered out.

Claire and I went over to the car and started searching it for supplies. I popped the trunk, and it was like hitting the jackpot. “Water!” I was jumping up and down. There were three unopened cases of water. Claire came running back to the trunk. She began to jump up and down with me, clapping her hands like a happy seal.

“Oh, my god! That’s wonderful!” It was the little things, like not dying from dehydration that made us excited. We unloaded the cases of water and put them in Henry’s truck.

“Nice score, ladies.” Henry smiled, while he was siphoning gas out of the abandoned car. I couldn’t help it. I smiled back. I was so elated that we had more water. We were already so low back at the apartment that we had started to ration it out.

“This isn’t it. Just wait and see.” I felt like a kid in a candy store. I walked back to the other car. Claire was pulling out cases of different snack food items. There was even a huge pack of quilted toilet paper. I was so excited to see that. What girl wouldn’t be?

“Someone must have hit up the warehouse store before they decided to take off,” Claire said as we cleared out the rest of the car, finding tissues and some clean blankets in the back seat. I definitely needed those tissues since I was in touch with my psychotic, hyperemotional, crying side. We headed to the car Henry was siphoning from, but there wasn’t anything worth taking in that one or the last one.

I looked at Henry and he was sitting on the road, rubbing his temples again. He looked like he was in tremendous pain. I felt I needed to help him somehow so I went to him. I loved him, no matter what lies he told me. I couldn’t shut it off like a switch. Although, it would be much easier on the both of us if we could.

“Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah. I will be.” His graying eyes looked cloudy. I knew there was something seriously wrong, and I was worried out of my mind. I knelt down in front of him, and brushed the hair off his forehead.

“Do you need some water?” I whispered.

“Uh, yeah, actually. That would be absolutely fantastic if you could grab me one.” He managed to give me a small smile. I spotted Sophie watching our exchange.

“I’ll be right back.” I rubbed my hand over his hair again. He sighed and leaned into my touch.

I headed to the back of the truck, and Sophie followed me. “What’s going on with him, Sophie?” I was angry and I wanted answers.

“I think he’s just dehydrated. He has been boozing it up quite a bit lately for
some
unknown reason.” She was implying his binge drinking was
my
fault? I felt the urge to wipe that snarky bitch’s face all over the pavement.

I looked at her with my best “fuck off” look, but I decided to keep my thoughts to myself. I knew if I had said anything, there would have been a battle to the death. I grabbed Henry a bottle of water, and went back to him.

“Here.” I opened the bottle for him, and knelt down to meet his eyes again. I gently touched his cheek. “Henry, please tell me what’s happening to you.”

He looked away, as if he was ashamed. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry yourself over me. Thanks for the water, love. I appreciate you grabbing it for me.” He gave me another little smile.

I looked at him for a moment. “I can’t help but worry. You are scaring me. I don’t know if you are sick or what, but I know it’s something. I will get it out of you, one way or another.”

“Elaina, love, please. I am begging you. Don’t worry yourself over me. I will be fine. We just need to press on.” He reached up and put his hand on my cheek. He was cold…Arctic tundra cold. I jumped back a little because it took me by surprise.

“Why are you so much colder than usual? Are you sick? Are you coming down with something?”

“No, no… I’m fine. Trust me.” I didn’t like the sound of that.

“I wish you wouldn’t lie to me. I just want the truth from you.” I know he wanted to tell me what was ailing him, I could see the desperation in his eyes, but something was stopping him. I wondered if it was me. I wondered if he didn’t want to say anything because he was afraid of how I would react.

“Please, I’ll be fine. Let’s just get rolling, shall we?” He stood up, grabbed my hand and pulled me up. He took me by the shoulders and asked, “How about you and Nick switch spots?”

I missed my Henry so much. I really wanted to be with him, but I was so unsure of everything right now.

“Please, love? I’m desperate for time alone with you.” He pouted, complete with his bottom lip sticking out.

I rolled my eyes. “Fine.” Sometimes he could really get to me, and he knew it.

I went over to Nick. He was leaning on one of the abandoned cars, his feet crossed, enjoying an old magazine he found. “Hey, Nick.”

He looked up at me and smiled. “Hey, sis.”

“I just talked to Henry and he wants me to ride with him. Would you mind riding with Claire and Sophie? He wants some alone time.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. He was concerned. “Only if that’s what you want.”

“It’s fine.” I was annoyed, and I crossed my arms in front of my chest. Apparently, he didn’t think I could make my own decisions. Obviously, he had never met me before.

“Okay, then.”

At that point, Henry spoke up. “Alright, ladies and gentleman. We are taking off. Sophie, Nick is riding with you so Elaina and I can have some time to ourselves.” Claire gawked at me. I shrugged. Then she shook her head. I looked down at the road, admiring all the little pebbles. “We’re going to continue until the next exit. It’s about ten miles. Hopefully, it won’t take us long. Depends upon what we run across. Once we get off the exit, we will pull over somewhere that looks safe. Alright?”

“Got it.” Sophie turned on her spiked heel and headed back to her truck, Nick hot on her heels. Claire stood and glared at me for a few more moments, then followed suit. I felt like I needed a shower after all of the dirty looks I was getting. Henry grabbed my hand and led me to the passenger side of his truck, like the gentleman that he was.

“Hop in, love. Buckle up. It might be a bumpy ride.”

“Great,” I said with not much enthusiasm.

“That’s my girl.” He half smiled. He started to give me a peck on the cheek, but then he stopped himself. I could see the pain in his eyes. I reached up and brushed my fingers down his cheek. He closed his eyes, exhaling as I slid my fingers over his stubble.

When he opened them again, they were swimming with tears. His eyes wandered about my face, searching for the answer to the question that was lingering between us. He looked down, and his jaw trembled. He looked back up at me, lips parted like he was about to say something. But then he just turned away and closed the door.

I had broken his heart. I absolutely crushed this already broken man. I couldn’t believe I did that to him. I wasn’t sure if we would ever be able to get back to what we had, and the doubt that radiated from him told me he felt the same.

He had secrets. Secrets that he desperately wanted to share but, for some reason, felt that he couldn’t. I don’t know if it was a trust issue or what. But whatever it was, it was killing both of us.

It was killing
us
, period.

Henry was torn and broken, and it was my fault. My hands shook as I clasped them together in my lap. He climbed into the driver’s seat and rested his head on the steering wheel, trying to gather himself. I could see that his pain was not only emotional, it was physical. I needed to help him through it.

“Henry…”

“Not now, Elaina. I can’t handle it.” His voice cracked.

“But…”

“Just leave it!” he shouted at me. I just wanted to help him, offer him some sort of assistance in his time of need. Whatever that need may be, I would do it for him.

Henry jammed the key into the ignition and started the truck. I had thought the whole point of me riding with him was so that we could talk about everything. It was apparent that talking wasn’t going to happen.

I let out a loud sigh and turned toward the door. I heard him hit the steering wheel in frustration. He put the truck into drive, and we continued on to Unhappyville.

The highway was relatively open after the whole on-ramp debacle. We were still weaving in and out of lanes, dodging abandoned vehicles, but it wasn’t that bad. I was pretty surprised that the highway was as clear as it was. Most of the people who were trying to flee became stuck at the city on-ramp.

We were almost to our exit and I turned and looked at Henry. He sensed me staring and gave me a sideways glance. Then he refocused back on the road. He cringed and rubbed his temples again, grabbing his aviators and pushing them on his face. The tension between us was obvious, but I still loved him and cared about his well-being.

“Still have a headache? Is there anything I can do?”

“Yeah, still have a headache.”

“Do you have any pain relievers in here? Is it a migraine?”