Broken to Pieces (11 page)

There was so much that she wanted to say to him but she was at a loss for how to say it. Would he ever understand? How could he?

The rickety old vehicle pressed on, with only the sound of the dry wind rattling its ancient pieces to keep them company on the long ride back.

All of that ice cream is going to melt
, she thought to herself with a smirk.

It always did.

—

The sunset over the gently undulating lake was a spectacular one, fading from orange down to a purple so deep that Heaven almost seemed possible. Around the perimeter, lonely campfires dotted the shoreline. Their glowing halos flickered while tiny embers rose up and faded away. The smell of burning wood and hot dogs filled the air, making it easy for Emily to go back to the warm memories of the past eighteen summers with ease.

She sighed and held her five playing cards close to her chest.

"I'll raise you one dime," she flicked a coin out of her sizeable pile of change into the middle of the long table.

Adam and Barbara had long since folded. Gary, though he had a penchant for gambling, couldn't be talked down from grilling the burgers, which left only the young woman and Tex from Texas to duel over the handful of money resting between them.

Adam straddled the bench next to Emily and moved toward her until their knees bumped together, though it was hidden by a red and white vinyl tablecloth that hung down over their laps.

"Let me see," he half asked-half demanded.

Emily playfully shoved him with her elbow.

"Get out of here!"

"Come on," he begged. "Show me!"

On the other side of the table, Tex was just as busy trying to shoo Barbara away. Relatively speaking, the stakes were high: almost three bucks in pocket change and neither of the parties involved was going down without a fight.

Tex grabbed his beer and knocked back the last third in one gulp. Then he slammed it onto the table.

"I'll see that dime and…no Barb you can't see my damn hand! Hasn't anyone ever told you no before?!"

At the grill a few feet away, the plumes of gray smoke, though thick, did little to disguise the amused look on Gary's face.

"I'll see you that dime and raise you another nickel, missy."

Emily looked over just in time to catch Adam craning his neck over her shoulder. The scent of lemon, her mom's favorite kind of soap to keep for the guests, wafted up from him like a sweet breeze. She rolled her eyes and lifted the cards away from her breast just enough to let him see the full house that she was betting on.

Whether or not Adam would have admitted to looking at something else was another issue completely.

Like a professional, Emily dropped another five cents into the pile.

"Age before beauty," she said and licked her lips.

Tex replied with a guffaw and slammed the curled cards onto the wood, causing the shining prize between them to hop up and slam back down with a resounding clatter.

"Three of a kind, sweet cheeks."

Emily reached out and laid her winning hand out in a neat row. When Tex realized his defeat, he almost choked on the first drink of a fresh beer.

"I don't believe it!"

With two hands, she reached out and pulled the bounty toward herself.

"Believe it, old man. You just got beat by a girl."

She raked her fingers teasingly through her pile of money with a grin on her face.

"Do you want to go for another round?"

Tex shook his head so dramatically that his jowls wagged back and forth like a cartoon character.

"I would hate to break your heart like that, miss. Enjoy your victory. I won't be so easy on ya next time."

Adam reached out and squeezed her shoulder.

"I'm going to get a beer. You want one?"

Emily shrugged her shoulders. After all that had happened, she sincerely doubted that anyone would begrudge her for having a drink or two, even if she was a couple of years away from being able to do so legally.

"Sure."

Those first few sips of the bitter liquid went down easy, cooling her down from the inside out. Though the sun had disappeared from the sky long since, the baking heat gave folks outside little reprieve.

Gary and Adam arrived at the table together, Adam with an arm-full of beers and Gary with a platter filled with burgers and hot dogs.

Emily rubbed her hands together, "Right on time. Thanks guys."

She cracked open a beer, made herself a plate of food, and threw both of those things back like there was no tomorrow. Everything had been such a blur that she couldn't even remember the last time that she actually tasted food.

Adam watched her and laughed, "Were you hungry or something?"

"If I had to guess," Barbara said, "I'd say our girl here is starting to feel a little better. Isn't that right, Emily?"

"Huh? What?"

When she looked up from her plate, a faint moustache of mustard lined her upper lip and prompted everyone else to laugh loudly.

"I guess that answers your question," Tex mused and raised his beer can. "To good times and better friends."

"Hear, hear," Gary said and raised his glass of wine with the group.

Amidst the clinking of glasses against cans, an unfamiliar voice cut through the festivities.

"Emily? Is that you?"

She looked up from her food and quickly wiped off her face. Using both hands, she shielded her eyes from the nearby bonfire.

From behind the dancing flames, a tall, lean woman appeared. Her short-albeit large-hair was a steely shade of gray all the way through and had been neatly coiffed. A tan sweater had been tied around her shoulders.

"Linda?" Emily called out and jumped out of her seat.

The two women's brief charge toward one another ended in a warm embrace. The older one stroked Emily's dark, wild hair.

"Are you okay? Oh we have been so worried about you since we heard about the accident. Mitch has been trying to call you but could never catch you at the right time."

Mitch: Linda's son and Emily's very first boyfriend. The innocent, sometimes silly memories of their young relationship were a welcome sensation.

"Oh yeah. Sorry, I've been so busy that I haven't been-"

"No, no," she waved her hand, "don't even worry about that right now. Mitch is actually flying in for a few days next week, so we can just stop by. Would that be all right?"

Emily nodded.

"Great. I don't want to take you away from your guests for too long. I just wanted to come by and see you."

Linda hugged her again.

"We are very proud of what you are doing here," she whispered.

Emily didn't know how to respond that that, though her tight embrace made it almost impossible to speak in the first place. When she finally let go, Emily had to take a deep breath to stop her head from spinning.

"Thanks for coming by, Mrs. P. It really means a lot to me."

The old woman kissed the inside of her finger tips, then turned her hand around and waved goodbye before disappearing back into the dark night.

By the time that she made it back to the table, Emily's food was calling her name. With not so much as a smile at her guests, she dove back into her plate like an animal.

Only a minute or two later, her plate was cleared.

"Ugh," she patted her full stomach, "I need a walk or something."

Adam shot up out of his spot on the bench and said with a mouthful of food, "I'll go with you."

Her heart skipped a beat.

"Okay then," she grabbed a beer to calm her nerves and popped it open. "Come on."

Down a narrow path leading all of the way around the lake, Adam and Emily walked slowly. They were in no hurry to go back to the watchful eyes of the other guests.

"So, what about
your
parents? I feel like mine have taken over everything lately."

"Well," he paused to dart his tongue at the corners of his lips. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

He laughed.

"That might be a tall order."

"And why's that?"

"Well my dad really liked to drink. I mean, from morning until night he would have a bottle in his hands, or so help anyone who got in his way." He continued after a brief pause, "There was this one time that he was drunk- and I don't mean just drunk, he was trashed -he stormed into me and my sister's room, dragged us out and locked us in the downstairs closet because apparently we were sleeping too loud. Then, once he decided that a dark, moldy closet wasn't enough, he pulled me out and beat the shit out of me."

He looked over and noticed the shocked expression on Emily's face.

"It wasn't an uncommon event. I can tell you that much."

"Wow," she said. "That's awful."

"It's okay, I guess. It was a long time ago."

"That doesn't make it suck any less."

"You might be surprised."

She paused and glanced over at him.

"Maybe so."

In the silence that followed, only the crunching of leaves beneath their feet was audible. It went on like that for some time as they continued on the wide loop surrounding the lake. The deep darkness that had settled- the kind of darkness you only find in the wild -made the scattered camp fires look like beacons shining through the inky void.

Finally breaking the silence, Emily asked, "And your mom?"

Adam sighed.

"She knew all about what he did, but I don't remember her ever trying to stop it. Most of the time she stayed curled up in her bed with a box of tissues and a bottle of pills. Sometimes she stayed there for days or even weeks at a time."

The somber reply made Emily wonder whether or not she should have said anything at all. It was just too hard for her to resist. She wanted to know everything about him; to get inside of his head and see the world the way that he did.

"Do you still talk to them at all?"

"Well you know my mom is dead and my dad just got out of prison."

She gasped, "I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to dig this deep."

"No, it's fine."

"What happened?"

"She, uh," it was difficult for him to actually say. "She-"

The sudden, deafening pop of a large firework cut him short. Both he and Emily looked up to the open sky above the lake in time to see little, white sparks tumbling down from where the explosion had taken place. Its smoky tentacles looked like little ghosts being carried away on the hot wind.

In seconds, another one went up and erupted right over their heads. It was a stunning, bright pink that spread out in every direction, followed by the bone-rattling percussion a second later.

"Wow," Adam said. "I didn't know you guys went all out like this. I was just expecting a few sparklers or something."

A third burst, blue this time, filled the skies over their heads and cast long, shifting shadows over everything around.

"Fourth of July is kind of a big deal up here. It always has been."

"Why?"

A massive green web of embers spread out above, blotting out the multitudes of stars for a moment.

"I don't know, really. People around here like to say that we can have an independent spirit because of our independent nation. They appreciate being free to start over with a clean slate."

"So," he rubbed the stubble coming in on his chin, "it's like New Years in summer."

She never thought about it that way before, but the comparison was apt.

"I guess so, yeah."

Adam glanced over to her, but her eyes were fixed on the sky. Each colorful explosion lit up her face with a different hue and forced a new smile onto her lips. The peaceful expression gracing her features, though it had taken forever to get out, was one that Adam had been dying to see.

"Do you really think that people can start over? I mean, it sounds nice and everything but does it ever really work?"

She ground the sole of her flip-flop into the hard dirt.

"I suppose anything will work if you want it bad enough."

By then, they had both slowed to a complete stop and stood, shoulder-to-shoulder, where the lake's feeble waves lapped up onto the muddy shore. To the left and right, large patches of dark forest surrounded, leaving them basically invisible to the lake's visitors. And as the overhead bursts continued, they both found themselves unable to think of anything else to say.

From the moment that she laid eyes on him, Emily knew that all of their interactions and passing exchanges would lead up to something like this. The way that he looked at her-the tenderness of his touch-had predicted all of it. But now that she was there, with her arm gently rubbing against his, she realized that she wasn't prepared.

What should I say to him? Should I say anything at all?

Even if she found the words right at that second, the warm, electric sensation of Adam's fingers curling around hers would have rendered her unable to speak. They snaked through hers and tightened enough to bring their palms together.

For a moment, her knees buckled.

"Adam, I-"

In one, smooth motion, he pulled her over to face him and grabbed the back of her head, forcing their wet lips together with a frenzied neediness that made Emily feel like she was going to melt into the ground. The beer can that she had been holding the entire time slipped from her right hand and clattered down onto the ground, though it's hollow rattle was overpowered by an amber explosion over their heads.

Adam let go of her and cradled both side of her face in his palms. His flicked tongue slipped in and out of her mouth, massaging with every pass.

"Adam," she pulled away and asked breathlessly, "are you sure this is what you want?"

He pressed his hands together, letting the rising heat coming off of her body flow through him.

"Yes," he answered and kissed her again.

She pulled away again, "Because I just-"

He extended his thumb over to gently pin her lips shut.

"You don't owe me an explanation, Emily. You don't owe that to anyone. The only thing that I want from you is a chance."

His thumb slipped away, allowing her to talk again.

"A chance for what?"

He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers.