Broken World (Book 6): Forgotten World (8 page)

Ginny stands up straight, dropping Jon’s hand. “So there’s a chance?”

“We don’t have the same antibiotics,” Corinne says slowly.

Ginny nods and glances my way. I can see the wheels turning in her head. She’s still thinking about going. Jon is going to flip out. I don’t know how Corinne will react, but Dax will definitely be pissed. Not that I think he’d have the final say in whether or not Ginny goes with us, but it sure as hell will put him in a pissy mood.

“Now,” Corinne says, standing again, “if you don’t mind, I’m going to head out. I have a few things to discuss with the council before I head to dinner.”

We murmur our goodbyes as Corinne leaves, silence once again falling over us. It isn’t until she’s gone that Jim uncrosses his arms and heads our way. I’d forgotten he was here.

“What do you think?” Jon asks, turning to face his partner.

“Dax is on a power trip and all Corinne wants at this point is to get him off her back. She doesn’t give a shit whether or not your friend makes it to Atlanta. Not as long as he takes Dax with him when he goes.”

Axl purses his lips as he stares at the floor, not saying a word.

“What are you thinking?” Jon asks.

“Maybe we should back out,” Axl mutters. “This thing is too messed up.”

“You do that and Dax could do something even more dangerous,” Jim says. “No. I think you need to stick with this. You’ll be fine because you’ve got two things going for you. One, you’re aware of the problem.”

Axl looks up. “What’s the second thing?”

“You know how to defend yourself.”

Axl nods slowly, then glances toward his brother. “What’d you think?”

“I think we gotta go. We owe this to the world and we got no other option.” He grins. “Plus, I was really lookin’ forward to bein’ a hero.”

“Fine,” Axl says, but he shakes his head. He obviously doesn’t share his brother’s positive attitude. “We gotta watch each other’s backs, though.”

“You’ll be fine,” Jim replies. “Don’t need to worry about that.”

He slaps Axl on the back and gives Jon a nod before heading for the door.

I exhale, taking a look around the office for the first time. My gaze lands on the framed picture of a blonde woman, and before I’ve even thought about it, I’m crossing the room.

“What’s wrong?” Ginny asks.

“This is Kristine,” I say, picking the picture up.

“Who?” Axl asks.

I’m not looking at him or the picture in my hand. I’m looking around, at the other pictures and the diplomas hanging on the wall. At the name printed on them.
Brady Sanford
. It’s strange that of all the offices on campus, this would be the one we’d find ourselves in.

“This was Brady’s office,” I say, putting the picture back down. “This is his wife. Was his wife.”

“Weird,” Ginny says. “I’ve spent hours in here, staring at the pictures and diplomas. Imagining what he was like. I never thought I’d actually meet the man who used to work here. I figured he was dead.”

“I think a part of him is,” I say, turning away from Kristine when a shiver moves through me. “He lost his wife and his unborn baby. I think a part of him is buried with her. That’s why he couldn’t leave.”

“How sad,” Ginny says, rubbing her hand across her round stomach.

Jon slips his arm around her, and Lila curls into Al’s side. My eyes meet Axl’s, and I know I need to talk to him now. We’ve been floating lately, and it has to stop. It isn’t that we love each other less, but just that we’ve gotten too comfortable.

8

“AXL,” I SAY, grabbing his arm. “We need to talk.”

Ginny glances back, but she seems to be the only one who notices when we don’t follow them out of the office. Her gaze moves from Axl then back to me, looking oddly terrified. Only I’m not sure what she’d be scared of. Maybe she’s just worried for me? But things with Axl and I aren’t that bad. We’ve just gotten too comfortable. Right?

When we’re alone, I turn to face Axl, taking a deep breath. “This thing has been between us for months, but we haven’t dealt with it. You know what I’m talking about, right?”

He nods, but doesn’t meet my gaze. “I do.”

It’s odd, but for some reason, I can feel him shutting down, and it reminds me of the way he was back in the basement after Angus was bitten. Something about it scares me more than facing a horde of the undead ever has. This is the Axl I don’t know how to deal with. He’s too much the old Axl. The one who pointed a gun at me the day we met on Route 66. The one who did his brother’s bidding, who took Angus’s side even when he knew it was wrong. This is someone I thought had disappeared but who obviously hasn’t. Not totally.

“Axl,” I say, stepping forward. Taking his hand. “Look at me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“You tell me,” he says, his voice gruff.

I do the only thing I know to do. I swallow the lump in my throat and take a deep breath, then dive in. “We’ve been floating for the past few months. I don’t know why, but I know I should have talked to you sooner. I think we’ve gotten too comfortable. We found a safe place and were trying to start over, and even though I could feel this distance growing between us, I didn’t want to bring it up. I didn’t want to face it because for once I wanted to believe we had all the time in the world to deal with it. That we were finally safe and things were finally good and we could deal with it down the road when life was easier. Only now I know that isn’t true.”

“I ain’t sure it’s ever gonna be true,” he says, and the pain in his eyes makes me ache for him. He takes on too much. Always blames himself for too much, and I hate that he does that.

“I’m sorry,” I say, taking his hand. “We should have talked about this all before, but you have to know that nothing has changed when it comes to how I feel about you. We’ve just been going through the motions, but we can’t do that now. Not when we’re about to go out there again.” I step closer to Axl, taking his face between my hands. “I’m sorry for how things have been for the past few months. I let a wall build up between us, and I don’t want to do that anymore. Whether we’re behind a fence or on the road, I want us to live every day like it’s the last moment we’re going to have together. Which means making love every chance we get.”

Axl’s hands move up my back, and he pulls me closer, his lips pressing against mine. When he pulls back, he says, “I’m sorry too. I shoulda remembered to fight for you.”

“Always fight for me,” I say against his lips, kissing him harder.

Axl’s mouth moves faster over mine, and his hands slide up my back. Under my shirt. Seconds later, he has my bra undone. Then his hands move around to cup my breasts, and our kissing becomes more frantic. Like the way it used to be. Back when we only had minutes alone.

I’ve missed this feeling. Knowing I had someone who would always be there for me.

“I love you,” I say again. I want to say it every day. I don’t want a day to go by when those words don’t cross my lips.

“I love you,” Axl replies.

I work on his zipper while his hands move to mine, and then we’re both shoving our clothes off. We end up on the floor, and our lips never stop moving. With each tangle of our tongues, my body heat increases. It seems to only take seconds before all our clothes are off, and then Axl’s hands are moving over my body. It reminds me of when we were first together, how he couldn’t get enough of me. How he took his time, exploring every inch of my body in the safety of that shelter. Like he needed me to live.

“I missed you,” I say, wrapping my legs around him. Pulling him closer to me. Feeling his warmth on every inch of my skin.

“I shoulda talked to you sooner.” His lips move down my neck to my chest. “Shoulda done this.”

We move together, unconcerned about the hard floor or the fact that someone could walk in at any moment. Only concerned with
now
. With being together and savoring this moment, because it could be our last. Anything could happen, and I refuse to let a distance like this build up between us again.

When Axl finally collapses on top of me, we’re both sweating and panting. Our hearts beating together like we’re one person.

“Shoulda done that months ago,” Axl says, rolling off me.

He pulls me against him, and I lay my head on his chest. We’re both naked and in the middle of the office floor, but I don’t care if the whole town comes in right now. I just want to stay here where I’m warm and safe and comfortable. With Axl. Just the two of us.

“You okay?” Axl says when I don’t respond.

“I’m scared,” I say, squeezing my eyes shut. Feeling like a coward or a child. I’m not sure which one. “I know we can do this. I know we can make it to Atlanta. I just don’t know if we can
all
make it, and I’m scared of losing more people. Especially you. I’ve seen what that kind of loss has done to people. Parvarti is practically a robot, and Winston let it destroy him. Anne is a shell. I’m not sure I’d do much better.”

Axl’s hand moves across my forehead, pushing the sweaty hair out of my face. “You would. You’re stronger than them. You been through more.”

“I don’t know if that’s true.”

“It is,” he says, his lips brushing my cheek. “Plus, I’m gonna make you promise.”

I open my eyes and twist to face him. “Promise what?”

Axl’s gray eyes hold mine, and he takes a deep breath. Blowing it out as he brushes the hair off my forehead and out of my eyes. “Promise me that you won’t give up. That if somethin’ happens to me out there, you’ll keep movin’ forward. I hate thinkin’ you’d end up like Parv or Winston. That ain’t you.”

“What about you?” I ask. “Would you be able to keep going?”

“I would.” He exhales. “I’d do it even if I didn’t want to. ‘Cause givin’ up ain’t in me.”

He’s right. I can’t see Axl giving up on anything. Even if it kills him to keep putting one foot in front of the other, he’d do it. It hurts a little, thinking that he’d fare better than I would, but I’m also glad. I don’t want to think about him giving up.

Just like he wouldn’t want me to throw my life away.

“Okay.” My eyes fill with tears, but I wipe them away. “I’ll keep going. For you.”

I lay my head on Axl’s chest, and his arms tighten around me. It helps hold off the sobs that are trying to force their way out of me, but just barely.

“Good,” Axl says. “I ain’t plannin’ on goin’ nowhere, but I wanna know you’ll be okay if somethin’ does happen.”

I nod, but I don’t bother pointing out the fact that I never promised to be okay. Not giving up and being okay are two very different things, and I know for sure that I definitely would not be okay if something happened to Axl.

It’s afternoon by the time Axl and I make it home. Ginny must have been waiting for us, because the second we open the door she jumps to her feet.

“You’re back.” Her eyes move to Axl then back to me. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine.” I give Axl’s hand a squeeze. “We worked it all out.”

She nods a few times, but I get the impression that she isn’t really thinking about my relationship problems. Especially when her hand moves across her stomach.

“Are you okay?” I ask hesitantly.

“I am. But I need to talk to Jon and I want you to back me up. It’s about the baby, and Atlanta. We have to go.”

“What?” Axl looks back and forth between us.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I say, shaking my head.

“You heard Corinne. They have the drugs and everything else they need to keep this baby alive. I’m going. I’ve already made up my mind. Either it’s with your group or on my own. It would just be a lot safer with the group.”

I glance toward Axl, and he frowns. I understand how he feels, but I also understand Ginny’s worries. And I think I’d be feeling the same thing. Thinking the same thing. With all the babies that have died here, it doesn’t seem like hers stands a chance unless she’s in Atlanta. It might be the only way.

“We’re already going,” I say, holding Axl’s gaze. Trying to make him understand. “It makes sense.”

He shakes his head. “Seems irresponsible.”

I ignore him and turn to Ginny. “Where’s Jon?”

“Kitchen,” she says, jerking her head behind her.

“I don’t know if my opinion will matter, but I’ll be here to support you at least.”

Ginny lets out a shaky breath. “Thank you.”

We head into the kitchen, but Axl hangs back like he doesn’t want to be a part of it. He’d be against the trip if the situation were reverse, or at least he thinks he would. He always puts me first, and that’s all he can think about right now, but if we had a baby on the way… I think he’d see things differently.

“Hey,” Jon says when we walk into the kitchen. “Everything okay? You and Axl were gone a long time.”

“They were having sex,” Ginny says.

Jon’s eyebrows shoot up. “Okay. You know you can do that here, right? We’re okay with it.”

“That wasn’t what it was about,” I say, shooting Ginny a look.

“Sorry,” she says. “I don’t get nervous often, but when I do I babble.”

Jon frowns. “What are you nervous about?”

Ginny swallows and wrings her hands over her stomach. Still, she doesn’t talk right away, and she has to keep swallowing. It’s like the words are trying to come out on their own and she’s having a hard time keeping them in. Only I didn’t think she wanted to keep them in. I thought she wanted to tell Jon they were going to Atlanta so it was all settled.

I meet her gaze and tilt my head toward Jon, trying to urge her to just say it. Ginny only shrugs.

Great.

I exhale, then suck in a deep breath before saying, “She wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” Jon says, smiling as he turns toward the counter. He grabs a mug, watching his wife out of the corner of his eye as he picks up the coffee carafe. “Shoot.”

Ginny swallows, and this time she manages to get some words out. “I want us to go to Atlanta.”

Jon freezes in the middle of pouring his coffee, the hot liquid running into the mug and his eyes on Ginny. He blinks, and the coffee gets closer to the rim, threatening to spill over, but he doesn’t seem to notice. Ginny takes the carafe from his hand and sets it down.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jon asks, shaking his head.

“Just what I said. I know you’re going to think I’m nuts, but they have real doctors who have a better understanding of this thing. You heard what Corinne said today, this isn’t just about the babies. This is about everything. This virus has changed everything, and after everything that’s happened...” Her voice cracks, and she inhales slowly. “I have to go.
We
have to go.”

“Don’t be crazy, Ginny.” Jon shoves his hand through his hair, looking slightly panicked. “It’s too dangerous. You’re too far along and we don’t know what could happen. You wouldn’t just be putting your life at risk. It’s dangerous.”

“No more than being here is,” Ginny argues. “We could get attacked, a huge horde could get in. Then we’d be trapped. At least this way, I’d be on my way to real doctors and a real city that’s fortified and ready for an attack. If anything happens along the way, Joshua will be there to help me. This isn’t any less risky than anything else in this world.”

Jon shakes his head again. “No. I just can’t let you do this.”

“I love you,” Ginny says, grabbing his hand. “But I need this and I’m not asking your permission. I’m only asking for you to come with me.”

“I think it’s a bad idea.”

“Listen,” Ginny says, putting his hand on her stomach. Holding it there while her gaze traps his. “This baby means something to me. Something I never knew it could.” She pauses and takes a deep breath, swallowing when tears fill her eyes. “Because of you, I can see a real future for us. But we’ve lost so much already, and I’m not sure if we’d survive losing this. I’m afraid it would destroy us.”