Broken World Book Four - The Staff of Law (36 page)

“
Keep this, as a remembrance of this day and what we have
shared. I gave Kieran the Starsword, but I have given you nothing
save the mark on your brow. This will remind you of my sorrow, my
little clan. I don’t want to hurt you, but I crave my true form.
Can you understand that? Once I’ve regained it, I’ll be truly
happy, though I wish it didn’t cause you pain. Here is the measure
of my misery, so you’ll never forget that I wept for you. Mujar
don’t weep, but I’ve discovered that our bond is so strong that
when you weep in my arms, so do I. This is a unique thing that only
we share.”

Talsy gazed at
the glowing tears, numbed by the pain in her heart. “You gave me
Ordal.”

“
The Starsword was a worthy gift,” he went on, as if he had not
heard her, “and perhaps you will think this a poor one by
comparison, but it isn’t. There lies my sorrow, my anguish as never
shed by Mujar before, and only for you. We have travelled far and
seen many things, helped to break the world and put it back
together again. You will become a legend amongst your people. Your
name will live on in their tales, forever linked to
mine.

“
You are the First Chosen, who saved her people, bore a Mujar
son and restored the laws to the world. I’ll return often to you,
sit with you in the sun in your little garden and listen to your
tales. I’ll understand them, and nod, and perhaps I’ll teach you
Mujar gestures so I can tell you little things.

“
You’ll wed Kieran, and find happiness with him. You’ll show me
your strong children, and I’ll be at your side when you lie on your
deathbed and Marrana gathers your precious soul to her and takes
you to the Lake of Dreams. I’ll never leave you. You’ll think me
more beautiful in my true form, and I’ll grant your wishes. In
time, my inability to speak and lie with you will be of no
importance. All this, I promise.”

“
What will you look like?” she asked.

“
I can’t describe what I’ve never seen, nor have any memory of,
but I’ll be beautiful, as are all the creatures of this world. Once
I have my true form, I’ll no longer be able to change into others,
for that’s not a Mujar Power, but one the gods granted us when they
changed us.”

“
Then you won’t be able to fly!”

“
I will. Mujar can fly.”

Talsy held up
the vase to study the glowing blue liquid within it. She leant
against his warm chest, and his arms enfolded her. “What powers do
Mujar tears have?”

Chanter
smiled. “What makes you think they have any?”

“
Because you shed them, they must.”

“
Mujar don’t weep, so their properties have never been tested,
but I suppose it’s safe to assume that they might have
powers.”

She sighed and
wiped her eyes. “How will the gods change you?”

“
A portal will appear somewhere in the valley tomorrow. A
glowing arch, I think. All we have to do is step through it, and
we’ll be transformed. There is one thing, though. Antanar warned me
not to hesitate, not to turn back once I have started to walk
through it.”

“
Why?”

He shrugged.
“He didn’t say.”

“
I won’t recognise you afterwards, will I?”

“
You’ll know me, because I’ll come to you.”

“
And Travain?”

His mouth
twisted with regret. “I doubt your wish will hold him. Wishes were
a part of the testing, and now that’s over.”

“
Why do the gods want to cause me so much pain by taking you
away? Haven’t I earned their love?”

His arms
tightened. “You have. Of course you have. This isn’t meant to
punish you. It’s my reward, just as yours is the paradise they’ve
given you. Be happy for me. Share my joy as I’ve shared your grief.
I have earned happiness too.”

“
Are you so unhappy now?”

“
I’ll be happier when I return to my true form. Even though I
was born like this, and can’t remember true Mujar form, I’ve always
had a sense of strangeness, of being in the wrong body. I can’t
take the form of a creature of this world. The gods did this
because otherwise we would have changed into a form like our own
and stayed that way, which would not have suited their
purpose.”

Fresh tears
stung her eyes. “I’ll die without you.”

“
I’m not leaving you.”

They sat
together in silence, while Talsy struggled to accept this sudden,
terrible turn of events and summon some gladness for him. When the
women who helped to run the castle arrived, Sheera took Ordal to a
wet nurse in the valley so Talsy could spend the day alone with
Chanter, in autumn’s peaceful waning warmth. It seemed like her
last day of happiness. She kept assuring herself that he was only
changing his form, but this brought little comfort. Kieran took the
news well, though he looked a little sad, and made himself scarce
for the rest of the day.

In the
afternoon, Chanter summoned the two young Mujar and told them the
news. After Drummer and Dancer left, Talsy walked with him through
the valley, circled the lake and returned to the garden, where they
talked for many hours. She savoured the day, asked all the
questions she could think of and received long explanations.
Chanter showed her some simple Mujar gestures, and explained their
meaning. She had no appetite for dinner, and they retired early to
her room. She did not want the night to end, but eventually
tiredness claimed her.

Chanter lay
beside Talsy and watched her sleep, wishing she was happy for him.
He longed to share his joy with her, as he had shared her sorrow.
She would find it confusing, however, since she would know it was
not her own. He sensed that she needed to feel the grief, and share
it with him. His sadness told her of his love for her, and she
needed to know that now, more than anything. He did love her, in
his own way, as a sweet girl who had saved him and cherished him.
It was hard not to love someone who loved him as much as she did.
He did not begrudge her the grief she had sown in him; it was a
fitting punishment for the pain he caused her.

The return of
his true form marked the beginning of a new life, at one with his
world, at peace with himself. He did not understand her grief,
although he had known she would feel it. He regretted causing it,
but the joy of his coming transformation could not be sullied. In
time, she would accept it, and be happy with Kieran and Ordal. He
was glad now that the gods had given her the son she had always
wanted. Surely she and Kieran would have more children to fill her
life with laughter.

At dawn, he
woke her and held her while she wept again, then helped her to
dress and wiped away her tears, repeating his promises. As the sun
crept towards the top of the mountains, they walked out onto the
frosty grass. Kieran waited outside, looking a little embarrassed
at his assumption of her need, but she was glad of his moral
support. Chanter surveyed the valley with his arm around her, and
she clung to him, shivering in the dawn chill.

“
There.” He pointed.

Chanter
crossed the valley as it filled with rosy light, turning the
mountains purple. Mist shrouded their feet and swirled as they
walked through it. He glanced back to ensure that Kieran followed,
a silent presence she would need all too soon. Two eagles glided
past, converging on the spot Chanter headed for. The birds
transformed in a rush of Ashmar, and the two young Mujar stood
waiting for their father. When they reached them, Drummer stepped
forward and bowed to Talsy.

“
Mother, I give you the gift of my joy.”

Travain took
her hands, and Chanter stepped aside. Talsy’s confusion turned to
wonder as Travain opened himself to her. His pure sweet emotion
flooded her, filled her heart with sunshine and chased away her
sorrow. She gasped with amazement as laughter bubbled within her,
and the most ecstatic, powerful joy she had ever experienced
swamped her. She smiled and revelled in the intense elation he gave
her, which lingered after he released her. Strengthened by it, she
was able to stand alone and gaze across the beauty of the misty
vale filled with predawn glow.

As the sun
rose and the light brightened, a glowing archway appeared not far
away. At first it looked like a tiny rainbow, but, as the dawn
light intensified, the colours became too bright, and glowed with
their own luminescence. A pearly haze shot with gold sparkles
formed within the archway, the colours of the gods, like a Mujar
aura and the Lake of Dreams. The spiritual hues betokened the
arch’s maker, its purity and function. Talsy’s joy drained away,
and its cessation plunged her into a deeper despair. She stared at
Chanter with desperate intensity, willing him to reject this gift
and opt to stay with her, hoping beyond hope that his love for her
would triumph over his longing for this strange new form. Yet deep
within herself, she knew that he did not, and could not love her.
He was Mujar, and the words of those who had warned her echoed in
her mind.

Dancer gestured to Chanter, indicating that he should go
first, but Chanter hesitated, then flicked his fingers. The young
Mujar needed no urging, and, with a puzzled glance at his father,
walked towards the gateway. Talsy held her breath as he neared it.
His
tallana
touched the pearly light and flared brilliant blue, then he
softened it and stepped through. The archway veiled him until he
moved out from behind it, and Talsy gasped.

An alien
creature emerged from the far side. Beautiful, in a strange, alien
way, but, to her horror, he bore no resemblance to a man, and was
about three times bigger. A gossamer crest of floating, silken
blue-green plumes capped his graceful head. Black markings outlined
his blue eyes and extended down to flared nostrils in a narrow
snout. His lipless mouth had no capacity for expression, and his
pointed white teeth confirmed Talsy’s suspicion that Mujar were
predators. A long, graceful neck hid beneath the swirling silken
fronds that curved from his crest, and narrow shoulders tapered to
slender arms and hands tipped with short claws.

The last two
fingers of each hand were elongated and bent back to support the
leading edge of a long wing membrane that joined his torso at his
hips. Silken fronds sprouted at his groin, shorter in front and
longer at the back, trailing from beneath his wings, along with a
tail as long as his torso. His legs lacked a man’s powerful
musculature, ending in upright feet with clawed toes. Patterns of
pale rainbow hues marked his head and back, from the brilliant
blue-green of his crest to the mingled soft pink and blues that
shimmered on his wings. His torso, limbs and face were soft pale
gold, but for the black markings around his eyes.

With a fluting
trill, Dancer took a few gambolling steps and leapt into the air,
raising his wings in a single beat that lifted him several feet off
the ground. He moved with amazing grace, making his former body
seemed heavy and clumsy in comparison. He resembled an alien angel,
Talsy thought, chewing her lip as she realised just what Mujar had
lost in their transformation to the Trueman copy. Dancer raised his
arms and spread his pointed wings, the shimmering colours bright in
the morning sun. Drummer smiled at his brother’s joy and strode
into the archway, to emerge transformed into an identical creature
that frolicked with Dancer. His colours seemed a little brighter
than Dancer’s, he was even larger, and his patterns were
different.

“
They’re dragons,” Kieran murmured.

Talsy turned
to him in surprise. Truemen had tales of legendary, fire-breathing
creatures, but the resemblance had not struck her until Kieran
mentioned it. Now that he had, however, the similarity was so
obvious that she wondered how she could have not seen it before,
except, perhaps, because she did not want to. Dragons were in no
way Truemen – not even vaguely – and that upset her. How could
Mujar be dragons? How could she have borne a dragon two sons? It
all seemed preposterous and unreal, yet, had a Trueman encountered
a Mujar in his true form before meeting them as unmen, that was
exactly what they would have thought they were.

Talsy glanced
down the valley at the creatures of this world that dwelt amongst
the Truemen now. They stretched and unfurled their wings to the
sun, just awakening. The similarities between the Mujars’ true form
and theirs also struck her. Though none of the beasts compared to
the Mujars’ grace, they shared colours and forms in many ways, just
as Trueman beasts possessed Trueman traits. Their rainbow colours,
silken wings and bright fronds betokened their kinship, even their
speech of musical trills and fluting cries were alike. The
realisation that this world was not her own hit home hard as Talsy
watched the Mujar play. She glanced at Kieran, then at Chanter with
pleading eyes. He came over to her and took her hands.

“
This is my destiny. I’m not going away. If you could accept me
as a wolf or horse, surely you can accept this?”

She shook her
head. “Please don’t do this. Stay with me, as you are.”

“
No.” He looked down at her hands. “That I can’t do. I’ll be
with you in my true form, and you’ll wed Kieran, as you promised.”
He summoned the Prince with a gesture and pressed her hands into
his. “Look after her, Kieran. She promised to marry you, for she
does love you, no matter how much she denies it.”

Talsy shot
Kieran an embarrassed, angry look. “I don’t know where he gets that
idea from.”

Kieran smiled.
“I hope he’s right.”