Bruja (19 page)

Lucas grunted, telling me that he wasn’t sure it was worth it. As I unfolded the map, he leaned down to take a look.

“What do you think? Do you know where any of this is?”

He ran his hand along the symbols.

I pointed to the central image. “I know this is a mountain, which doesn’t really narrow it down. But this looks like some sort of railway. A train?” I hoped he’d know where it was. The train should narrow the options down a lot.

“Not train tracks. A mine. I think I might know where this is. Vaguely. I know this right here.” He pointed to an icon on the map. “That’s a local waterfall.” Then he traced the track line with a fingertip. “This is the mine entrance, but it’s not connected to this part over here. I’d know it if it were.”

I followed his fingertip. I hadn’t had time to look close while I was in that awful room, but I’d seen the mountain and the train. What I hadn’t noticed was that the map was broken into two parts. A trail led up the mountain, past a waterfall, and to the mine. Then nothing. The next picture showed the exit from the mine into some sort of valley. The temple stood in the center of that valley.

“There’s the exit to the mine shaft here.” I pointed to the left side of the valley. “So they connect. It looks like it must be some sort of secret valley between the mountains. The map just doesn’t show how to get to the part of the mine that exits to the valley.”

“No. I know that area. There’s no valley there,” Lucas said.

“What do you think it means?” I had to figure this out. It was the key to everything. I knew it was.

“I haven’t been inside the mine, so there’s a chance there’s a hidden exit, but however it connects to the other half… It has to be magic.”

“Maybe it’s just hidden. Using wards to keep outsiders away is common enough. My coven’s compound uses spells like that to keep normal humans from coming near.”

“That’s possible.” He sat back down on the bed. “The fey use similar concealments for their underhill. It would make sense if the old mages had sealed themselves off.”

The only problem was finding the right way out of the mine, but we could figure that out when we saw it for ourselves. “Okay. So we get to the mine, and find our way through to the temple. Then we get whatever’s there and head straight back.” It seemed like everything was lining up. “We’ll make it in time.”

Lucas didn’t say anything as he lifted me up, sliding me onto his lap and pulling me close. Warmth surrounded me as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I sighed and followed along, putting my arms around his waist.

I felt safe with him. Secure. It was like coming home.

I was starting to think that maybe Teresa wasn’t so crazy. Not that I really had, but I’d wondered how much she’d chosen mating with Dastien. He’d bitten her and that was that.

I still wasn’t sure if it was what I wanted. The thought of being a wolf definitely seemed crazy. But every passing second with Lucas made me want him more. No one in the coven, not even Shane or Elsa, would understand if I bonded with Lucas. Raphael would flip.

Then again, they might not care if it got them—all of us, really—out of the oath. At least that part wasn’t such a big hurry. The oath pulled on me the worst, and the others were probably safe outside of Luciana’s range by now. Jumping into a mate bond wouldn’t save Raphael from the poison, so I had a little time to think it over.

But I couldn’t help thinking about it as Lucas held me in his arms.

What if?

What if I did become his mate?

He smoothed his hand along my hair a few times before speaking. “That Adrian guy was right.”

My throat tightened. “About?”

“You’re not alone. You’ve got me.”

I wouldn’t let myself cry again, but it was hard. “Thanks.”

“And we’re going to save your brother. We’ll move fast.” He pulled away just enough so I could see his face. “We’ll get to San Jose in time.”

“Thank you.”

He brushed a kiss across my forehead before gently placing me back on the bed. He folded up the map. “Okay, then. We know what we have to do. Now, I’m going to order you some food and then you need to rest.”

What? I didn’t have time to rest. The clock was ticking and I was running out of time. I’d already lost five hours being unconscious. “No. I thought we could leave soon. I told you. My brother is dying.” I swung my legs over the bed, but Lucas stopped me. “I can be ready in five minutes. Maybe less.”

He put his hands on my legs, pressing them into the bed so I couldn’t move. “Wait. Slow down.”

“Wait? I can’t wait. Adrian said the sooner the better. We have to go now. I don’t know how much longer he has, and I need to go.” He didn’t understand. I’d given Luciana the power to hurt my brother and do all kinds of evil. Everything I did was bad. And wrong. When I’d tried to make it right, I’d only made everything that much worse for everyone around me. Now I finally had a chance to fix that. My chest heaved as I spoke. “I have to do this. I have to save my brother. And I have to save the pack. If one more person gets hurt because of me… I don’t think I could survive that.” Tears welled and fell. He couldn’t give me hope and then snatch it away. “I’ll rest later. It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad? You were unconscious. For hours.” His eyes glowed and I could almost see the wolf fighting to break free. “I didn’t say we weren’t going to go, but it’s already dark and we’re going to have to trek through the forest again. I’d do fine as a wolf, but it’s too dangerous when you don’t have another form.”

I took a breath to calm myself and realized by the ache that the pain pills were still percolating. I’d be useless if we left now. “I see your point.” And I’d made an idiot of myself. Again.

Lucas gently cupped my face in his hand, lifting my chin until my gaze met his. “I can’t pretend to understand what you’ve been through, but I know you’ve had to make hard choices and sacrifices. No one should ever blame you for trying to protect your family. You were just a child when it all started.”

I swallowed. It was true. I had been a child. But I’d made so many mistakes. And yet, if I could go back in time, I wasn’t sure how I could change things.

His thumb brushed against my jawline, and goose bumps broke out over my skin. “You’ve done a good job,” he said the words plainly, like he knew they were the truth.

I’d tried so hard to do good, but it always felt like I was wrong. Hearing him say I was doing a good job… It was the first time anyone had ever said that to me.

I couldn’t help the embarrassing sob that broke through. I covered my face. God. I hadn’t cried about any of this in so long. I couldn’t start now.

“You’ve done a good job, Claudia.” He pulled my hands from my face, and brushed the tears away. “But this isn’t your fault. What Luciana has done isn’t your fault.”

I wanted to believe him. So badly. “It is. At least partly.”

“No,” he said firmly. Without a hint of question to his voice. “It’s not. You can only take responsibility for your own actions. You didn’t make Luciana do all those horrible things.” Our faces were so close that our noses were nearly touching. “You were taken advantage of. Abused. Scared. You were a child.”

Abused? No. I’d handed my power over.

“Your parents should have protected you, but they didn’t.” He paused, and I stared into his eyes. Nearly losing myself in those dark pools. “Or maybe they couldn’t protect you. Either way,
you
are
not
to blame. Now you’re doing everything you can to fight back. No one could possibly ask more of you.”

With those words, it felt like a weight had been lifted. My parents had left without so much as a thank you. I’d done my best, but that had never been good enough. And here was this guy. Telling me it was okay. That I’d done a good job.

“Come on.” He lay on the bed and pulled me down with him. I rested my head on his chest as I cried. “It’s going to be okay,” he murmured as he ran his fingers up and down my arm.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been held. Comforted. Raphael wasn’t a huggy guy. Neither was anyone else in the coven.

But as I lay there, feeling so many different emotions, I wanted to hold on to Lucas forever. That feeling terrified me because now I had someone else in my life that I’d give up everything for. I’d already given so much. What would be left, if I kept giving pieces of myself away?

He hadn’t asked for anything. Not yet. But I knew the other shoe would drop. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But sometime.

Even knowing that, I let myself enjoy this moment. The once in my life that I truly felt loved. Cherished. Taken care of. By a man—a wolf—I barely knew, yet felt so deeply connected with. For as long as this lasted, I gave myself permission to savor it.

This was what love felt like.

And boy, did I want it to last forever.

Chapter Seventeen

The next morning, I woke up sore. Lucas had been right. Leaving in the middle of the night would’ve been dumb, but now I was ready. The clock on my bedside table told me it was just after five in the morning.

After I settled down, Lucas had gotten me some food, and then tucked me into bed and left. Exhaustion—emotional, physical, and magical—hit me like a ton of bricks. I’d barely managed to brush my teeth before climbing under the covers. I’d been so worn out that I hadn’t even put on pajamas—I’d just slept in a pair of underwear and my white camisole.

I stretched in bed, and sure, I was achy and the knot on my head was tender, but I’d live. Now, I needed to make sure that my twin did.

I sent a quick text to Adrian confirming that everything was okay. He texted me back with a hotel address and the news that Raphael was still alive. Shane and Beth had done another healing chant, and he was hanging on.

I let myself relax, just a little. My brother was alive. The clock hadn’t run out yet. Now I needed to get packed before Lucas showed up. We might not have time to come back to the hotel before we had to leave for San Jose.

I was trying to shove everything into my backpack when I heard the knock. I closed the distance and swung open the door without thinking twice about it.

“Good morn—” His voice cut off as his gaze slowly slid down my body.

I glanced down and promptly slammed the door in his face.

Holy moly. I was still in my underwear and camisole. He’d probably seen my nipples through my shirt.

I pressed my hands to my heating face. I’d never been so embarrassed in my life.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Lucas said through the door. “I liked the view.”

My cheeks went from burning to totally on fire. “That’s not helping.” I raced across the room to find my pants from yesterday. I slipped them on, then grabbed a bra and fresh T-shirt. When I was presentable, I opened the door again. “Sorry. I was trying to get everything to fit in my backpack and I…” I took a breath and let it out slowly, before starting again. This time with less rambling. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.”

I motioned him into the room as I quickly braided my hair. I was sure if I looked in the mirror I would’ve been doubly embarrassed.
Messy hair and no clothes. Way to start the day off right, Claudia.
At least he seemed to not be bothered by it.

Oh no. Was I being awkward? We’d been getting close, now I wasn’t sure what to do… Was I supposed to hug him? I mean, I wanted to hug him, but what if he didn’t want to hug me?

Oh God. I wished Teresa or Cosette were here. I so desperately needed advice when it came to these kinds of things.

“Hang on,” Lucas said as he pulled me in for a hug. He ran his hand up and down my back a few times before stepping back. “This still looks bad.” He brushed a finger over the knot on my head. “How are you feeling today?”

I smiled. “Better. Thank you for taking such good care of me.” And for making me feel exponentially less awkward.

“My pleasure.” He grinned and I about melted. “Do you need help getting packed?”

“No. I’m almost finished. Just have to get it to zip.” I motioned to the bed. “Give me one second and I’ll be good to go.”

“Let me help.” He pressed everything down, and got the zipper closed in one smooth move. I’d been fighting with it for the past ten minutes.

“Okay, then.” He swung my pack up like it weighed nothing.

Wolves were ridiculously strong. I always forgot that until one of them did something to remind me how very different they were. “You don’t have to carry that. I can get it.”

“I’ll carry our stuff. Hiking the mountains is tiring enough. You’ve got a head injury, bruised ribs, and some nice gashes… This is easy for me. Let me help you.”

Maybe he had a point. “Okay.”

“Let’s go.”

As we left the hotel, I realized that just one little hug and some reassurance from Lucas had me feeling so much better. How had he done that? Was it some kind of pack magic? Or was it just him?

Either way, I didn’t care. I felt stronger and more sure of myself. We were going to get to Raphael in time. There was no other option.

Failure wasn’t a possibility. I wouldn’t even entertain it.

As we loaded up the car, I let my fear go. It didn’t help anything to be afraid.

Lucas handed me the map. “I’m going to drive us as far as I can, and then we’ll be hiking the rest of the way.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“Better buckle up. The road there is pretty rough.”

“Got it.” I clicked my seat belt and then rested my hands on my thighs as he started driving. About a minute onto the road, his hand settled over mine.

I peeked over at him, and he grinned. I couldn’t keep looking at him without breaking into a fit of embarrassing giggles, so I kept staring out the window while I laced our fingers together.

It was nearly unbelievable. I’d somehow found my match in the middle of all this craziness.

***

When Lucas finally stopped the car, all I could see was dense foliage. The ride up the mountain had been so bad that I’d squeezed my eyes shut. My heart had been pounding so hard for so long, I felt like I’d already had a workout.

I took a look around. What little bit of road was in front of us abruptly ended and a large tree with gnarled roots stood in the way of the car. We weren’t at the top of the mountain, but we were close. To the right, I could see the valley below us. Off in the distance, a small town. But ahead of us and to the left there was nothing but forest.