Bulletproof (17 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

MORGAN

I slammed the car door shut and started the engine. My nerves were frayed to fine threads, barely holding me together. To say work sucked was the understatement of the century. My outburst seemed to ignite some sick pleasure in Travis, his dark side finally having a chance to unleash.

“Stress relief,” I muttered as I reversed out of my spot and spun the car in the right direction. Slamming down the gas, I screeched out of the parking lot, barely pausing for the barrier to lift. I wanted to smash straight through the damn thing. Now
that
would be stress relief.

I looked at the clock on the dash and cringed. 10:23. I had hoped to do my weekly check-in with Jody today but felt like it was too late to hassle her now. What if she was asleep already? I could tell by the tired way she constantly answered the phone that school was taking its toll. I had heard that performing arts courses were taxing, but I didn’t realize to this extent. It probably didn’t help that she’d turned into a partying maniac. I knew she was tough enough to take it, but that didn’t stop me worrying about her.

I really wanted to talk to her, though. I needed the distraction.

Worrying about someone else’s problems was so much easier than focusing on my own. Sean had finished earlier than me. I’d seen him loitering on the sidelines, no doubt trying to catch me in secret before he left. I stayed as busy as I possibly could, sticking to the most crowded areas on set. He must have given up, because when I went to leave, his car wasn’t in the lot. I should have probably called him, sorted this out, but I honestly didn’t have the energy to get into it.

How could he just stand there and listen to Travis treat me that way?

If there was a line, my boss had freaking pole-vaulted over it, and my boyfriend had done jack-all. I wanted to blame Rhonda; she had been standing right there, no doubt trying to stop him.

I gripped the wheel, anger surging through me like a tidal wave.

I wished I didn’t need this stupid job. I wished there was something better out there for me.

“I wish, I wish, I wish. Shut the hell up, Morgan! Stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself.”

I bit down on my lip, relishing the pain. It was a habit I’d picked up as a teen. I never went as far as cutting, but during those really bad months I used to dig my nails into the soft flesh of my arm, anything to stop the tears from falling. When I didn’t have any free hands my teeth went for my lip.

My eyes stung as I drew to a stop at the red light. I was two minutes from home, and it was the last place I wanted to go. Putting on my blinker, I decided a late-night drive wouldn’t kill me. I needed to unwind or I’d never get to sleep.

Collecting my phone, I unlocked it to look for some music and noticed I was still on my contacts list. Jody’s name was highlighted on the screen; that was as far as I’d gotten throughout my hectic day. I pressed the number and slid the phone into my hands-free unit. I didn’t care what the time was; I wanted to check up on my sister.

“Hey, sis, what’s up?”

Her sweet voice was like a soothing balm. “Oh, good, I’m glad you’re up. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Nope. Awake.”

“You sound tired, though.”

“I’m always tired.”

“Me too.” I chuckled. “Work can be a real bitch that way.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” She still sounded flat.

How could I get her voice to sparkle again?

“So, how is work?” Jody cleared her throat.

“Oh, it’s okay, I guess.” I shrugged as if she could see me. “I mean, my boss is still a total asshole, but you know, a job’s a job.”

“Yeah, true. Plus you get to work with your boyfriend all day.”

“Hmm, not as much as you think. This whole secret relationship thing...I don’t know, it’s hard to catch those moments sometimes.”

“I thought you loved it...being pulled into some dark closet to make out with Mr. Hollywood.”

I forced a chuckle. “Yeah, that only happened once and didn’t end so well.”

“But he still comes over after work, right?”

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat.

“Let me guess, it’s not happening anymore.” There was a bitter twang to her tone, which concerned me. I was opening my mouth to ask about her fella, fish for information, but she got in first. “I saw the paper, Morgan. I’m guessing it’s bullshit, just the media spinning a story, but is that all it is?”

“Yeah, definitely.” There was no way I wanted to dive into that conversation; I’d finally managed to put it out of my head.  “Sean told me not to worry...and I’m not. Really.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

“I am. I trust Sean. I know he cares about me.”

“Then why do you sound so down? Why the hell are you calling me at like ten-thirty at night when you should be in bed with your man right now?”

I sighed, figuring I might as well tell her the truth. I needed to talk to someone about my day, and as much as I didn’t want to burden her, she had asked.

“I had a really crap day, Travis went off at me and was totally cruel, and Sean didn’t do anything to stop it. I guess I felt kind of let-down.”

There was a long pause. I could picture Jody licking her lips, giving the receiver a sad smile. I was waiting for her sigh of sympathy, her words of comfort. I was definitely not expecting what she dished out.

“Why are you doing this again?” she snapped.

“Excuse me?”

“You let your boss treat you that way and you didn’t walk out the door? You let Sean listen to that bullshit, do absolutely nothing about it, and you didn’t slap him in the face?”

My face scrunched with a frown. I looked at my phone screen in horror. Jody had never spoken to me like that before. She didn’t yell when she got angry—she sulked. And she certainly never made people feel bad.

“You always do this, Morgan. End up in these shitty situations that you just refuse to walk away from, even though you totally can!”

“What...where...where the hell is this coming from?”

“When was the last time you were single? When have you ever gone more than like a week without having some lousy date or scoring some loser boyfriend?”

“Sean is not a loser.”

“This isn’t even about Sean anymore! I’m talking about the fact that you seem capable of looking after everyone but yourself. You feel needed so you stay, you stick around and you let these people take total advantage of you.”

“That is not true! I’m not like that at all. I am a strong, confident woman. People do not push me around.” I flicked my hand in the air. It landed back on the horn, setting it off with a loud honk.

I flinched at the sound, but unfortunately it wasn’t enough to stop Jody’s diatribe.

“Your boss treats you like a maggot, and your boyfriend isn’t doing anything about it...oh yeah, and he’s hiding you in the shadows, which you hate and he knows...but he’s not doing anything about it.”

“What the hell is your problem?”

“My problem is that you are better than this. You don’t belong in the shadows, Morgan. You are amazing and talented and you’re selling yourself short, because you’re too afraid to just take a leap! And the thing that pisses me off the most is that you can, you can do and be whatever the fuck you want; nothing is holding you back except you!”

And with that she hung up.

“Jody?” I glanced at my phone and tried to redial her, but it went straight to voicemail. Her sweet, chirpy message was damn irritating after the bitch-fest I’d just endured.

I looked back to the road and slammed on my brakes, the car screeching to a halt seconds before I almost plowed into the back of a mini-van. I pulled in a breath through my nose, leaning my head against the steering wheel until the car behind me honked.

Lightly pressing the gas, I made it through the intersection in one piece, despite my shaking hands. Glancing at the street sign, I realized I was unwittingly heading to Reynold’s Pub, so I figured I might as well keep going.

I increased my speed, hoping I’d make it there before closing.

Fifteen minutes later, I parked the car and hustled down the road. The lights were still on.

“Thank God,” I whispered, flinging back the door and having to quickly jump out the way.

The man stumbled past me, collecting himself before landing face-first on the pavement.

“And you’re not welcome back.” Cole pointed at him.

The man gave him the finger, swearing loudly as he stumbled off down the street. My eyebrows rose in question. Cole rolled his eyes and ushered me inside, locking the doors firmly behind us.

“So, what just happened?”

Ella shook her head, gently collecting up the pieces of shattered glass on the floor. “Some mouthy guy was accusing me of robbing him.” She stood and placed the pieces on the table, looking at Cole with an apologetic frown. “I swear I gave him the right change.”

“I don’t care if you gave him the wrong change; no one talks to my girl that way.”

He looked pissed, in a righteous kind of way. Cole was a good-looking guy, but as a knight in shining armor he was damn sexy. Ella was a lucky lady...and she knew it.

Her sweet smile said it all.

“C’mere.” Cole pulled her into his strong arms, kissing the top of her head before resting his chin there.

“Thank you.” At least I thought that’s what she’d said. Either that, or I love you. The words were muffled by his shirt.

He pulled back from her, tenderly touching her face. I turned away from their little moment, my eyes burning as I imagined what Sean might look like in his armor. I had a sinking feeling I’d never know.

“So, Morgan, sorry for that welcome. Do you want a drink?”

I spun to face Cole’s question.

“Sure.” I nodded, moving to the bar and parking it. “Something strong, please.”

Cole’s eyes darted to Ella’s. I ignored the look passing between them and sat up straighter as Ella perched herself down beside me. “What’s up?”

I drew in a breath, figuring I’d go for a downplayed version of events, but as the air came out of my lungs, the words just tumbled free, a quick torrent that recapped my nightmarish day in all its glory.

Both Ella’s and Cole’s mouths were hanging open by the time I got to my phone call with Jody. Once that recap was done, their chins were basically on the floor.

“What is up with her at the moment, anyway!” I snatched the shot glass and downed it, not even knowing what the liquid was that burned my throat.

“Yeah, we’re worried about her too. She’s seemed really distant lately.” Ella gently took the glass and passed it to Cole.

“Well, she’s told me jack-all. I have no idea what the fuck is going on in Tucson and part of me doesn’t even want to care.”

“But you will...because you’re Morgan.” Ella’s smile was tender.

“And according to Jody, that’s half the problem!” I threw my hands in the air. It felt good to raise my voice and shout a little.

Ella’s voice was in calm contrast to my ranting. “Can I be one hundred percent honest?”

I wanted to yell NO, right in her face, but this was Ella, the sweetest human being on the earth, and so I shrugged and mumbled, “Of course.”

She drew in a breath, smiling at me as she collected up my hand. “You’ve spent half your life looking after other people...you were forced into that position way too young, and I think you’ve tried to compensate by dating all these other guys, desperate for someone to look after you...but then you don’t get out of the way to let them do it. You’ve always needed control to keep yourself sane.”

“Great, so now I’m a control freak?” I snatched my hand back.

“You already know you are.”

“So you’re saying it’s
my
fault that no one will step up to fight for me.”

“Maybe...no one knows you need them to. You’re so strong and sure of yourself.”

“I’ve told Sean. I made it very clear that I don’t want to hide anymore, and he keeps on spouting off about protecting me, but it’s wearing pretty thin. Dammit, Ella, I would have done anything to have him put Travis in his place today. But he didn’t say a word. He just stood there, too afraid of losing his job to do anything.” My voice quivered. I sucked in a breath, blinking fast. Crying wouldn’t solve anything.