Burdened (A Burdened Novel) (56 page)

“Why not?” That’s my question too.

“I’m not having Tracey around drunken
, burdened Sephlem.”

“
There will only be a few of us, and some of us are pretty good at not drinking.”

“Some of us?”
It’s a disapproving question.

I walk out
of the bathroom, hair in a hanging ponytail, and go to Nathan’s side.

He puts his arm around me. “Tracey,
Olar. Olar, Tracey.”

“
Wassup, Tracey? Nice to finally meet you,” Olar says smoothly.

I look
at Nathan. He nods. “Hi, nice to meet you as well.” Again, with this permission thing, it feels right until I notice it.

“Thank you for choosing my cousin.”

Yeah, well, he chose me too. “Anytime.” I shrug my right shoulder.

Nathan pulls me in front of him
, wrapping his arms around me, while putting his face in my neck. “I love it when you say that,” he says through muffled words.

“
Umm, am I interrupting something? If so, I can come back.”

“Nah, you already interrupted something. And no, we are not going to the party
. I would like to go a couple of days without killing somebody.” I give him a harsh look. Did he really just say that?

“That won’t happen. Plus
, you’ll have your girl with you. She’ll keep you down.” He gestures toward me. “It won’t be as bad as you think.”

“And why are we thinking it will be bad?” I ask openly.

“My last party was bad.”

“
Really
bad.” Nathan looks up, interjecting.

Olar
rolls his eyes. “Speaking of
really bad
, thanks for what you did for me the other day.”

Nathan tenses. “Yea
h,” he responds slowly. “No problem. So where is the party going to be?”

“Swain knocked out 3500 square feet of the mountain
, a few days ago, so we’re going over there.”

I feel Nathan’s interest spark. “Swain knocked out the mountain?” He turns his head towards my face. I feel his breath warming and cooling with every inhale and exhale.

“Yeah, he got into a fight with a Mulen,” Olar speaks, while looking towards the window.

I zone him out
, feeling Nathan’s breath catch, then kiss, the spot under my ear, entirely too softly. My body tingles, while my stomach flutters. I whip my head towards him too quickly, drawing attention to us from Olar, who is rambling about the fight.

Nathan stands up with his cocky smirk.

Olar turns to us. “Umm, did I miss something?” His expression turns confused as he looks back towards the window and continues explaining the fight.

Nathan moves his hand under my shirt on my hips
, between my shorts, pressing me against him firmly. Interest and anticipation lures in his touch. I let out a rugged breath—his touch feeling like a high to me. I become lightheaded and lose my balance, stumbling backwards into him.

He smirks. “You okay
, Tracey?”

Olar
turns back to us. “Okay, I am missing something,” he says, rubbing his hair.

Olar
is about Nathan’s height and built similarly, except his lower body is wider. He has a slanted face, and shaggy hair that stands up, instead of falling around his face.

He has his nose, eyebrow, and left and right side of his bottom lip pierced
, and one of those earring rods that goes through two holes on both ears. He’s dressed like a skater boy, but with biker boots. His fingernails are black, and I wonder if that is on purpose or by accident.

I chuckle out loud.

“Nate! What did you do!?” Olar asks, half-serious, half-joking. Nathan starts laughing. “See, man, that shit is
not
cool. Excuse me, Tracey.” For what? “That shit is why I don’t mess with you.”

Nathan looks
at me. “It’s disrespectful to curse in front of a lady. That’s why he excused himself. He was raised that way. They just forgot to teach him to apply his etiquette lessons.” He changes his tone, looking at Olar. “And why do you always think I did something to you? That’s just you, taking in too much silver.”

“Not funny. I kno
w it was you. Just be lucky yo girl is standing in front of you.”

“Are you threatening me
, Olar?”

He folds his arms. “As a matter of fact
, Nate, I am.” He arches his left eyebrow.

I move from Nathan
, walking over to the desk chair. If something is about to happen, I do not want to get caught in the crossfire.

“Okay
, I’ll meet you in the yard in three hours.”

“Three hours?”
he asks disorderedly.

Nathan
calms. “Yep, Tracey, and I are going for a run.”

“For three hours?”
Olar questions, trying to make sense of the time.

Nathan looks at me
, biting his bottom lip. “Yeah, that sounds about right.” He turns back to Olar, nodding his head.

Olar
shakes his head. I smile. “Where is Scott? I need to talk him into being on my side to even the score.”

“Scott’s out right no
w.” Nathan’s voice is even. But I can still hear the emotion behind it.

I had not thought about how he must feel about all of this. I know he has to feel worse than me
, having all three of us wrecking his brain, while I only have one—Glen.

I immediately feel bad for treating him the way I did earlier. His feelings didn’t cross my mind. How selfish of a person am I?

“Damn, Scott,” Olar retorts.

I get up and walk over to
Olar. I’ll join the game. “I’ll fight with you against Nathan.” I look over at Nathan. He wears the most shocked expression, but sobers when I notice.

Olar
looks over at him.

Nathan shrugs his shoulders
, while turning down and back up the corners of his mouth quickly. I back up to him, not knowing why.

Damn
, Nathan! I turn around and punch his chest. Then my chest hurts. I reach for where I feel the pain, which happens to be the same place I punched him.

“Hurt
, huh?” Nathan asks with a smart-aleck tone.

I rub my chest
. It really hurts. “Yes!”

“Good! Now remember that when you two are trying to defeat me.” Yea
h, maybe I won’t be helping Olar. Maybe they shouldn’t fight at all.

“That’s not fair
,” Olar says through a laugh.

“Fair to me
,” Nathan counters. “Come on.” He motions me towards the door.

Olar
leaves first. “Where is Taylor or Nathan?”

Nathan shrugs as he closes the door behind him. “Not sure
. Check downstairs. You staying over here tonight?”

“Ye
ah.” We walk down the hall.

“Okay, we’ll be back later. And
then we’ll handle that sudden confidence you have over being about to take me on.” He punches Olar’s arm.

“We’ll see
,” Olar replies, then disappears.

“Now
, where did he just go?” I ask, surprised. The boy just vanished.

“His ability
. Lucky bastard.”

“He can just vanish?”

“Yeah, and go somewhere else. Not like from my house to his house. It has limitations, but it comes in handy.”

“Yea
h, that’s kind of cool. Looks like you have a little competition, Nate.” I hit his arm with my elbow.

Oh shit
. I stop walking, realizing what I just said. I look at him, and he’s fine.

“I’m not going to go demon and push you through a wall
, Tracey.” He pulls my arm to walk with him down the stairs. “Plus, what happened with them was way different.”

“Different
, how?”

“Sorry
, but your friend was out of line. She admired another man. Felt it
and
commented on it.” He shakes his head. “Scott’s not doing something right.” He pushes his hair back as he opens the door to the yard. “I can’t figure them out.”

“Don’t stress about it
, babe.”

We walk in the
afternoon air and there is a chill to it. I’m thankful for the hoody; it makes it comfortable.

“No
, Tracey. I have to stress about it. The boy tried to kill all three of us. That’s not normal for Scott. He’s always been in control. Always understood himself. And don’t take this the wrong way, but ever since Glen came around, he’s been worse than I used to be.” We near the fence.

“And how bad was that?”

“Don’t, Tracey.”

“You know
, you and Scott have made me really hate those two words.” He opens the gate. “I feel bad for Glen. She
is
a little reckless, yeah, but she never means any harm. Don’t get me wrong…her actions pissed me off too, but I didn’t want to kill her—just slap her.”

“Yea
h, but Scott didn’t even think before he attacked. He just did it. When he gets back together, I’m going to talk to him.”

“When was the last time you talked to him?”

“After we figured out what we were going to do about Glen. And we didn’t talk. I had to carry him into the new room they’ll be sleeping in, since theirs is now wrecked. He didn’t remember the details, just that he messed up and lost it.”

“That was
their
room that they wrecked?”

“Yea
h. He was on his last limb, like Glen. It was weird, watching nothing being wrong with him, but the life draining from him.” He pauses. “It hurt.” His voice cracks and my brain floods with him. His hurt filling every inch of me, and I desire to do nothing more than comfort him.

He notices
my notice, and clears his throat. I walk to his front and wrap his arms around me.

“You know
, if I was taller than you, I would wrap my arms around you like this.”

He lets out a breath that seems like he
was holding onto. “He should be better tomorrow, or maybe later tonight. He’ll go heal Glen and break her out of the hospital.”

“Why break her out?”

“How would you explain her being near death at one moment and then walking, and kissing Scott, the next?”

“You think she
will still want to be with him?”

He shrugs. “It’s not like she has a choice. She loves him, she knows he loves her
—and he does. She’s bound to him. If he tries to kill her a thousand times over, she’ll always stay with him and won’t stop loving him. He’ll know it happened though, and may beat himself up for the rest of his life. But as long as he doesn’t kill her and gets his shit together, that’s their future.”

“That sounds like they are going to be around us for the rest of our lives.”

“Yep. But that’s our family. I know it seems overbearing and weird to you, but the bonding and what goes along with it is another reason why we all stick together. For us burdened.” He adds.

“Makes sense.”

We make it to the trail and I am ready for my feet to meet the gravel. I let the tree and bark scents fill my nose
, taking in the outdoors.

“So
, are we going to break off into a full-sprint or jog?” he asks, stepping to my side.

“We will jog
. And as much as I enjoy hearing your musical voice, we’ll do it in silence, so that we can sort through our thoughts—make life make sense.”

“My musical voice?” he asks with a cocky smirk.

“Shut up.” I put the iPod on shuffle, roll my eyes, and take off, putting the buds in my ears. He’s right at my side.

We run,
and I let him lead the way.

The trail is nice
. It isn’t manmade like the one behind my house. Rather, Mother Nature lost control when creating it, doing what she wanted. There are beautiful flowers, in all different colors, blooming from the trees. The grass is wild and it dances in the wind. The trees sing behind my music and the wind plays the flute. It is beautiful. The sun is up, lighting every other step through the trees. I embrace the outdoors.

I take it all in and let
everything go. Nathan crowds my mind. He is hurt, like me, and this whole time I only thought about myself. I didn’t consider what he might be going through and the extra pressure I was putting on him. He is good to me, he knows when I need him even when I don’t, and he makes sure I stay comfortable. He loves me and I’ve done nothing to show it back. But I do love him.

I’m still pissed
that he put me to sleep, but I can’t say that I don’t understand. If his hurt back there flooded
me
like that, I could understand what I have been doing to him.