Burned (15 page)

Adriana Paige
The Crazy Cactus Motel
Tucson, Arizona

I'd put on
nearly five pounds since our failed attempt at assassinating Kaleb.
That was really good for less than three days' time, but Taggart
still probably wasn't going to let me back in to take another shot at
Kaleb tonight. Doing better than expected with regards to adding
weight back on didn't do anything to nullify the fact that I'd lost
far too much weight in the last attempt. I was starting from almost
zero.

It just went to
prove once again that I was an idiot. I'd stayed out of the dream
world for days, days in which I could have been adding bodyweight
like crazy, but instead I'd basically stopped eating. I'd let myself
forget about everything else while I was…grieving…and
now I—and everyone else in the rebellion—was paying the
price.

I was so
screwed up that I barely knew whether I was coming or going, and I
wasn't sure how to fix myself. It was more than just about my
feelings for Alec, but they seemed to be at the very center of the
knot that I was having so much trouble unraveling.

The fact that
I'd stayed out of sight once we'd arrived was just another example of
that. I wasn't a kid—okay, I was a kid, but I was a kid who'd
fought vampires and managed to survive. I should have long since been
past the point where I needed to hide away from the guy I was
supposed to like.

I told myself
that again and again, but it didn't seem to be making any kind of
difference. I was still hiding out in the room that Taggart had
rented for me at the motel that bordered the RV park where Alec's
command vehicle was parked. It had been hours since Alec, Carson and
Heath had left, but the only time I'd left had been to bolt down some
food.

The knock at my
door just as it started to get dark shouldn't have come as a
surprise, but it still made me jump. I went over and unlocked it
expecting to see Nellie, but instead found Tristan waiting for me.

"Hey."

"Hey, can
I come in?"

I closed my
eyes for a second, trying to come up with a way to avoid what I could
sense coming, but my mind had frozen. The silence grew to the point
of being awkward, and then I finally stepped back out of the way so
that he could enter my room.

"Tristan,
I—"

"You don't
have to say it, Adri. I already know what you're going to say, but I
need you to listen to me anyway. After the…accident I knew you
were hurting. I asked you what I could do to help and you told me
that you wanted me to be there for Cindi. I've done that. I left you
alone just like you wanted, and I've held Cindi's hand every step of
the way."

"I know,
Tristan, and I'm really grateful to you."

He waited for a
second to see if I was going to say anything else, but I couldn't
think of anything that wasn't going to make things worse.

"Cindi's
getting better, Adri. She still has bad days, but she's well on the
way—she's not struggling like you are. She doesn't need me—not
like you do."

"No,
Tristan, you can't do this right now. You're right, Cindi seems like
she's getting better, but that will all evaporate in an instant if
you tell her that you're not interested, that you want…"

"She
knows, Adri. Every step of the way I've been honest with her. I've
been there for her, but I haven't done anything that would make her
think we were going to get together. She's great—she has the
potential to be really nice, and she's smart and pretty, but she's
not you. You don't need anyone else to help bring the good out in
you—it's just there, all the time. It's who you are, and that's
the most amazing thing anyone could ask for in a girlfriend."

Tears were
starting to pool in the corner of my eyes, but I couldn't have said
whether it was frustration over having to deal with Tristan, or
unhappiness that I'd done so much to prove him wrong over the last
few days. I wasn't good or nice, I was a vindictive witch.

"Tristan,
you obviously don't understand girls. It doesn't matter how many
times you tell her that you only think of her as a friend, or that
you want things to always stay just the way they are. She's heard all
of that, but she's got her hopes pinned to the idea that someday your
feelings are going to change. If you tell her you want to start
dating me, she's going to lose it. You'll ruin everything."

Tristan looked
like he wanted to get angry, but he just shrugged. "So just like
that the matter is closed? Maybe you're right, maybe I don't
understand much about girls, but you've got a pretty sizable blind
spot yourself, Adri. You refusing to date me isn't going to make me
fall madly in love with Cindi. I've stayed here because I wanted
another chance with you. If that's never going to happen—if
you're never going to give me the time of day—then just tell me
now. It will be better for us all."

"I…I
don't know what to think anymore, Tristan. For the longest time I
thought you were a complete jerk. This isn't the first time that
you've led Cindi on, but I guess it's the first time that you've done
it at my request. If I still thought that you were that same guy who
was playing with her emotions as a way to get at me then I'd be able
to tell you that there is no way we could ever be together."

"I'm not
that guy, Adri. I never was—not really. Maybe I did some stupid
stuff and listened to the wrong advice, but I never wanted Cindi to
get hurt—not any more than she deserved. You don't know how
hard it was for me to just stand back and watch her scheme against
you."

I nodded
choppily. "I can imagine. You're right, that wasn't her finest
hour, and maybe this is the price that she has to pay for giving into
all of the petty jealousy that was so much a part of the cheer squad.
You're also right that you aren't that guy. You've done stuff I never
would have believed possible for that guy. You fought a vampire for
me and then you helped me kidnap a police officer and came with me to
rescue my family. I owe you a lot, Tristan—more than I can ever
repay."

"I don't
want you to repay anything, Adri. You either feel something for me or
you don't. It's that simple."

"I…I
just don't know. I think I want to. You've turned out to be pretty
amazing and if things were different I think we could be good
together. If I'd been born without this crazy power maybe we could
have made a life together, but I just can't see any way for that to
be the case now."

Tristan looked
away from me and sighed. "It's Alec, isn't it? I was starting to
think that maybe you were ready to move on from him and let someone
else into your life."

I shrugged,
lips trembling from the effort of trying not to just break down in
sobs. "I guess it is Alec. I want to be ready to move on,
Tristan. I can't look at him without being thrown back into that
building. I don't remember very much of what happened. All I get are
bits of memory, the machinery falling, shooting vampires, the
complete sense of powerlessness, but it's still too much. I can't
deal with him, but I can't seem to just cut ties completely. I've
done and said such terrible things lately. I'm not sure that he's
ever going to want me back."

"If you're
still feeling like that, then you need to go talk to him, Adri. Maybe
you're right. Maybe there isn't going to be any coming back from
what's happened—for either of you—but maybe it's not too
late. All you can do is go talk to him. Tell him how you feel."

"I don't
see the point. It's not like he can change the past or magically make
my feelings disappear."

"The point
is starting the dialogue. I want you and me to be together, Adri, but
there's no point in even trying for that right now—not when
you're still so caught up in your issues with him."

"I don't
mean to string you along, Tristan. If you need to go, then you should
go. I'll get Taggart to give you some money. It's not going to be
enough to replace what you probably lost when your parents disowned
you, but it will give you a start. It's not going to solve any of our
problems, but maybe you're right that it's time for Cindi to try
going forward without you. It will be a lot easier for her if you
just leave than if you end up with me."

"I don't
want to hurt Cindi, but I'm not going to sacrifice my happiness for
hers, Adri, not if there's still a chance for us. I won't leave—not
yet—but I'm not going to stay around forever. Go talk to Alec
and figure out if there's even a chance for the two of you. When
you're done talking to him, you and I can talk."

Alec Graves
The Caravan RV Park
Tucson, Arizona

I arrived back
at the location where we'd set up in a bad mood, but at least the run
back had let me work off the worst of my anger. It gave me time to
think, time to decide on a course of action. By the time we got back,
I knew what I was going to do.

I clasped Heath
on the shoulder, thanking him for helping us get in and out of
Jaclyn's house, and then released him to go back to his people.
Carson followed me into the command RV.

"What are
you going to do, Alec? I can see by the set of your jaw that you have
a plan."

"How are
your negotiations with Grayson coming along?"

Carson shook
his head. "I'm not sure. He's being evasive. I'm not sure if
he's ashamed of his failure when Brandon's people arrived during the
rescue attempt, or if he feels that his debt to me has been
satisfied. Either way, he's been slow to commit."

I wanted to
slam my hand into the countertop next to the sink, but I knew I'd
probably crack it if I did. I needed to control myself if I was going
to control the situation we were in.

"I need
him, Carson. Heath is good, but he's not our guy. I need someone else
other than me who has the ability to incapacitate large groups of
hybrids if that's what Kaleb and the rest send down to take out the
Tucson pack."

Carson refused
to meet my gaze for several seconds, but I'd learned to just wait him
out. Carson wasn't capable of avoiding the truth for very long. It
was part of what made him so valuable.

"I no
longer have confidence that I can bring him over to our cause in the
time we have left, but there is another option. If you call him
directly it may be enough to bring him here."

"I don't
understand. I've met him only once, and even that was just a passing
encounter—I maybe said all of ten words to him before the
rescue operation commenced, and once everything fell apart there
wasn't time for proper goodbyes. If you—who've known him for
years—can't convince him, then how am I supposed to do it?"

Carson sighed.
"I'm sorry, Alec. I wish I could tell you more, but I can't.
Even saying this much comes perilously close to breaking an oath I
swore years ago. All I can say is that he may listen to you—Grayson
is…old-fashioned."

"Fine,
text him so he knows I'm calling, and then give me his number and
I'll call him right now."

Less than a
minute later I was dialing his number from my burner phone.

"Hello."

Grayson's voice
sounded different than I remembered, but I couldn't put my finger on
what it was.

"Hello.
Our mutual acquaintance told you who I am?"

He'd answered
the phone without any distortion to his voice, but I didn't have that
option. My phone was running a voice-scrambling program that Jack had
provided me. I was too much of a known entity. We didn't think that
the Coun'hij had managed widespread penetration of the cell
companies, but there was no way to be sure, and if they had, then
they would be running voice recognition software on all of the calls
they could get their digital hands on.

"Yes, he
warned me you would be calling."

I wanted to
take a deep breath, but I forced myself not to. I needed to sound
like I was in control.

"If you
know who I am, then you know what I want. Our friend has been asking
for your help, but you've been slow to respond. Now I'm the one who's
asking."

"What
makes you think that my response to you is going to be any different
than my response to him?"

There was an
edge to his voice now, but I was almost certain that he was testing
me, trying to figure out what Carson had told me, trying to figure
out if Carson had violated his oath.

"You
answered my phone call—that's a good start. Honestly, I don't
have any reason to think that you're going to agree to help me. I
don't know very much about you at all, but what I do know tells me
that I need you here at my side. I know that you can do things,
things that nobody else can do. I know that without your help we
never would have made it through the first wave back in New Mexico.
We might have won still, but when our enemies dropped out of the sky
there wouldn't have been enough of us left to put up an effective
resistance.

"Some of
my people are probably angry that you didn't stop the second batch.
Some of them probably thought that you failed. I'm not them. I'm
smart enough to know that not every tool can be used in every
situation, and that you can't push anyone past their limits. You did
what we needed—what
I
needed—you to do. If you'd
been able to deal with the second group that would have been great,
but it was my failure that put you in a place where too much depended
on you.

"I know
that you feel like you failed at some point in the past. I don't know
any of the details, but you wouldn't have come to help Carson last
time if you didn't feel like you owed him something."

Grayson let
silence fill the line for several seconds before he finally
responded. "You seem to think that you know an awful lot."