Burning Ember (24 page)

A hurt look comes over her face and she yanks her hand from his. “Why don’t you crash here tonight? I need a night to myself.” While still scowling at him she hooks her arm with mine and pulls me away. To me she says, “Come on. Let’s take Donut outside for a walk.”

“Lil’,” Goose says her name like a plea.

She ignores him.

As we walk toward the front door, curses fly behind us.

Outside I ask, “Will he run off if I put him down?”

She pets the dog’s back. “Honestly, I don’t think he could run even if he wanted to. Poor little thing. Too many donuts. He freaking loves those things. You know, he used to be named Zeke, but Cap changed it after he caught the little runt on top of the kitchen table demolishing a dozen donuts by himself. Cap says Dozer put him up there, but Dozer denies it.”

I put Donut on the ground and he meanders around.

“So you think Dozer doesn’t want me babysitting because he doesn’t want Bethany to know about me?”

Lily shrugs. “Probably. It’s just that I know Bethany and she isn’t going ask anyone for help. Especially the other old ladies. She’s picky about who she lets around the kids. And some of the other old Ladies are so caught up in the life, they preach it to the kids like it’s gospel. Bethany doesn’t want Axel to be in the club. Or Medda growing up and wanting to be an old lady. She’s even mentioned maybe moving away. I think if she could afford to, she would. She wants her kids sheltered from all this.”

“I don’t know if I blame her.” The words tumble out. I cover my mouth and mumble, “I’m sorry. That sounded rude. I’m not judging you. It just seems like a rough life sometimes.”

“No. I get it. You’ve only seen the ugly parts of it so far. The parties, the girls, the guys being dicks. But there are some good parts too. Like . . . my kids, when I have them, will never want for anything. They’ll have family and support. No one would ever fuck with them. And we both know from experience that life on the outside isn’t all sunshine and gumdrops.”

Isn’t that the truth?

“What makes you think Bethany will want me around her kids?”

“Because you’re different. You didn’t grow up in the life. You’re kind and sweet. Honest. Trust me. She’ll love you.”

I kneel down to pick up a small stick. I wiggle it in front of Donut. Excitement flashes in his eyes. But when I throw it fifteen or so feet, his head is the only part of him that moves. He looks at it for a second and then sits.

Lily and I burst out laughing.

“Try that with food and it just might work,” she says.

A whistle pierces the air. Donut waddles off and we follow him. We turn the corner at the back of the clubhouse, and right away, I spot Mav bent over the animal, his hands rubbing Donut’s belly. Mav murmurs to him, but I can’t make out what he says.

Grabbing the hose and turning on the water, he offers Donut a drink. Slobber and water go everywhere—over Mav’s jeans, the ground, his black boots. He laughs low. He’s smiling down at the dog and patting his back. “Atta boy,” he says.

Warmth floods through my chest making it swell with feeling.

An elbow jabs into my side. Startled, I look over at Lily. She whispers, “Close your mouth before he sees you drooling.”

I snap my mouth shut.

But when I look back up, I find tawny eyes roaming up my body, and then focusing on my face. The almost kiss we shared last night flashes through my mind. I drop my eyes to Donut and fight the heat trying to flood into my cheeks.

“Hey, Mav,” Lily sing-songs, “any word on Cap?”

He wipes his wet hands on his jeans. “He’s still out. Nick went to get his mama . . . just in case. The doctors are tryin’ to bring him around though.”

“He’ll pull though.”

“Yeah, he will.”

“Is everyone still comin’ over Wednesday?” she asks.

“Far as I know.” With that being said, he pats his leg and Donut follows him back into the clubhouse.

“Wow, how did I not see that comin’?” she says after he’s out of earshot.

“What?” I ask.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.” She shoulder bumps me.

“I don’t.”

“Mmmm hmmm. Let’s just say, now I know why you’re not picking up the hints Dozer’s been dropping for you. Pumpkin like’s her men a bit darker.”

“No it’s . . . I’m not . . .” I take a deep breath to calm down and say, “He doesn’t even like me.”

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Or however in the hell that goes.”

“Shakespeare? Lily, really?”

She laughs. “Pretty impressive for a girl who never finished high school, right?”

I nod and mentally chart it down as something else we have in common.

“Now stop brushing me off. What the hell’s going on with Mav?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” She wiggles her eyebrows. “Or nothing yet?”

“Nothing. Nothing.”

“Right. It looked like nothing. I’ve known Mav for two years, and he’s never once look at a girl the way he was lookin’ at you.”

I hear footsteps behind me and turn to see Dozer walking across the yard toward me. “You hidin’ out?” he asks. I’m leaning back on a picnic table catching some rays.

“No. Taking a break. Why? You need something?”

He shakes his head. “No, wanted to let you know tonight’s poker night and we’ll be orderin’ pizza so you don’t have to cook.”

I stand and brush off my butt. Dozer watches. When he sees he’s been caught, he smirks and shrugs.

“You play? Poker?”

“Yeah. I can play
cards.”

He chuckles. “Play or play good?”

“Well, when you grow up without video games or a TV like the rest of your friends, you have to find other productive ways to entertain yourself.”

He lets out a laugh. “Alone . . . with you . . . I could find a lot of productive ways to entertain myself.” Then he looks around and finding no one outside, he pulls me in close. “No video games or TV necessary.”

I get a little nervous when Dozer becomes flirty like this. I worry that maybe I’ve played my part a little too well. He likes me. He’s interested in me physically, but there’s no spark with him. Not like there is with Mav. With Mav, I merely see or feel him near and my body reacts like tinder while the rest of the world falls away.

Griz raps his knuckles on the table next to me. “Your call, sweetheart. You in or you out?”

I chew on my lip and furrow my brows. “I’m in. I think. One sec.”

Griz leans over and peeks at my hand.

“Hey now.” I pull my cards in close to my chest.

Chuckling, he says, “Just trying to help you out.”

“Pay attention to your own cards, old man.” Dozer’s sitting on my left, his arm behind my chair. He pushes Griz back into his own chair on my right. “If she needs help, she knows where to find it.”

When the guys first asked me to play, it was a joke. They thought they’d hustle me out of the money I’ve made this week doing laundry—one hundred and two dollars. Not much to them but it’s a lot to me. Dozer’s been encouraging me to hustle the shit out of them in return. Over the last hour, that’s exactly what I’ve done, and I’ve raked in a good pile of chips too.

All from beginners luck, of course.

“I’m going to go for it,” I say aloud.

When I raise the bet, Taz curses under his breath.

He’s sitting directly across from me, holding a joint and every time he takes a hit, my attention falls on his knuckles. They’re cut up and swollen like he’s been in a fight. That along with the comments some of the guys have made, solidifies my hunch that he’s a boxer of some sort. I’ve also concluded he holds a special rank in the club. He doesn’t wear a patch like Mav’s SAA patch, or Griz’s Secretary patch, or even Goose’s Road Captain patch, but he gets a certain level of respect from the members of the club. They both revere him and are wary of him at the same time.

Well, except Dozer who doesn’t care for him at all.

And Mav who seems to be the only one he’s friendly with.

The temperature in the room abruptly rises. Like a heat wave, its warmth washes over me. Eyes flicker past me and a couple of the guys at the table pop their chins.

Speak of the Devil . . .

I swear I can feel him enter the room the instant he does like some sixth sense. With effort, I ignore the chills prickling over my skin.

Lita circles the table, replenishing drinks and taking away empties. She sets down the second fuzzy navel in front of me. It’s mostly orange juice with a bit of peach schnapps, or so I’m told. I tried to stick to water, but Taz kept insisting that if I was going to play with the big boys, I needed to drink with them too.

Taz snorts when I lift my glass to my lips.

“What?” I ask.

“Might as well be drinkin’ Kool-Aid,” he sneers with a shake of his head.

“Would you like to see my dinner make a reappearance all over this nice poker table?”

“Fuck no.”

“Then I suggest you don’t give me shit about my drink and I won’t give you shit about yours.”

I realize my mistake a moment too late as silence falls over the table. Or at least it does until Taz mouth twitches. “You know, I like girls with big mouths, little stray. They’re fuckin’ wild in bed. And I get to experiment with all the different ways it takes to shut them up.”

His smirk gives me hope I won’t dig myself in a deeper hole by playing around when I say, “Then consider me a mute from now on.”

With that, the boys break out laughing and the game progresses like before. More alcohol flows and we banter back and forth. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t half-focused on that tingle of awareness I feel all along my spine and the man responsible for putting it there.

When the pot gets up to four hundred dollars, I start to get nervous. My palms grow sweaty. Griz adds fifty to his bet and it’s enough to have me searching out real guidance from Dozer. Leaning over I whisper in his ear, “Are you sure this is okay?”

He gives me a slight nod, which doesn’t make me feel any better.

I hesitate as I take my fingers off my chips.
Maybe I should fold. Let someone else win this hand. That’s too much money.

Mav makes a noise behind me. Turning, I find him watching me and frowning.

Unease swirls in my belly.
Does he know what I’m doing? Is he going to out me in front of everyone? Will the guys want to beat me to a bloody pulp for taking their money?

I begin to feel ill. Really ill. Maybe it’s the alcohol.

Then I hear his stool squeak as if he’s getting up. Which causes my back to go ramrod straight. Dozer catches my movement and spares a glance at Mav who must be standing directly behind me.

“It’s okay,” Dozer whispers back into my ear.

No. No. It’s not okay.

Questions start to whisper across my brain. Little by little my paranoia grows. In no time, the crazy plan to steal their money in a nice innocent game of poker sounds like a bad idea. Some of these guys are ex-cons, and I’m sure Taz is mentally unstable. And I’ve finally managed to get Taz to lay off on tormenting me. Do I want to go back to the way things were before I found Boop?

No, I don’t. We have a truce. I’d like to keep it that way.

Not to mention Luce has been looking for any reason to throw me out. This could be it. I’m lying, cheating, and stealing.

I toss my cards to Rigor, the dealer.

I’ll lose. Lose it all back to them. Then no harm done, right?

When I get a crappy hand, I play it to its death. When I get good cards, I trade them in or fold. And when I can, I push a big chunk of change in to lose. I keep just enough to pay Dozer back for buying me into the game. He didn’t want me using any of my money to gamble with. At the time, it sounded sweet and generous, but not anymore. Because now I’m wondering, if I had lost it, how would he have expected repayment? Dollar for dollar or in favors?

Em, settle down.

A hand taps Griz on the shoulder. “Scoot over.” Griz moves to Goose’s vacated seat and Mav slips into the seat on my right. His leg brushes mine and he leaves it there. His thigh to my thigh.

I bite the inside of my cheek and try to focus on the pain instead of the heat coming off his body.

With a surprised look on his face, Griz asks Mav, “You want in?” I don’t see Mav’s response. But Griz replies, “Didn’t think so. Too ‘fraid we’ll take all your green?”