Burning Ember (32 page)

I can’t help it. I laugh, “I love the shit that comes outta that mouth.”

“I thought you didn’t?”

I smile down at her. “I lied.”

With that being said, I pull her behind me toward the door. We walk out of Dozer’s room and head downstairs. She’s pulling back a little the whole way. Fighting my grip on her. She doesn’t want to do this, but neither of us has much of a choice.

I love her fight. I love her sassy mouth. I love that she’s not going to make this easy on me. I want to chase her. It’ll make possessing her and claiming her that much more of an achievement.

And I’ve always been an overachiever.

Today was definitely not the best day to quit smoking. I seriously could use one right now to chill my ass out.

I’m a ball of anxiety as I watch Doll interact with the old ladies and kids. I keep waiting for them to turn on her, maybe even slap her, because that shit’s happened before, but so far, they’re on their best behavior. Nick probably warned them to be before she left. Grandma Pepper was tired, so Nick ran her to her and Cap’s house, but she’ll be back.

As I watch Doll interact with the kids, the ache in my chest cracks wider. I rub at it, but the damn thing won’t go away.

They’re all hanging around the picnic tables, eating, bullshitting, and drinking. Some of the brothers have joined the party. Bodie’s playing the doting husband, and Taz is scowling at him from where he leans against the back of the clubhouse. Rigor’s playing horseshoes with Taffy and some of the older kids. And Dozer’s next to Doll and Lily. It’s probably the only time his closeness to Doll hasn’t bugged the shit out of me. But only because I know if someone says something bitchy to her, he’ll step in.

I know all too well what these women are capable of and how much they hate the clubpieces we let hang around the club.

Doll’s not one of them. Not yet. And as far as I’m concerned, she never will be.

Before I can dwell further, my cell rings breaking me out of my misery. I pull my phone from my back pocket. The screen shows the call’s coming from a blocked number. Walking far enough away where I won’t be overheard, but where I still can keep an eye on Doll, I answer it.

“Yeah?”

“It’s Smoke.”

What the fuck is he doing calling me?

“I thought we had an understandin’?” Then I change my aggravated tone, because yeah . . . I need to remember who I’m talkin’ to. This fucker is scarier than Taz, and he’s been putting people to ground for the Greenbacks for over forty years. He’s the creepiest motherfucker I know. “We’re not havin’ a meet until we take a vote and settle our own shit.”

I hear rock music in the background before he replies. “Relax. Not about that. Passin’ on a message.” He’s silent for a moment then says, “No disrespect . . . but Pappy and some of the boys aren’t comin’ down this weekend.”

I let that information sink in. Not necessarily bad news. But the why of it could be a big fucking problem for us. Allies show up and help us welcome a brother home. Is that not what they are anymore?

“There a problem?”

“Not with the HOCs. Pappy’s old lady’s health issues are comin’ to a head. She took a turn and ain’t got a lot of time left. He wanted me to let you know we’ll deal with the issues on the table another time. Soon. But not right now. So it’ll be just me, Deeds, and a couple other GBs crashin’ there.”

Vaughn is Pappy’s old lady. She’s been battling some serious health problems for as long as I’ve known her. But word is it’s been a bigger struggle the last few months.

“Okay. We’ll talk then.”

“Yeah.”

The next thing I say not because I want to, but because if it were Cap talking to him like he should be, it’s what he’d say. “You got our support when you need it.”

“Same here.”

He doesn’t say anything else and the line goes dead. Smoke’s pretty cut and dry. Mostly dry. Unless he’s high as a kite or drunk. But still I don’t think I’ve ever seen him crack a smile.

I look down at my phone and see two missed calls and a few texts from Whiz.
Fuck.
I forgot to turn it off silent after leaving the office.

Opening my phone, I read the texts.

WK: Got him! Henry’s sister has a cabin at Big Bear. Her credit card was used ten miles from the property.

WK: ?

WK: You there?

We’ve been searching for weeks for a lead on Cap’s shooting. Whoever did the deed knew what they were doing. No evidence has been discovered and no witnesses have come forward. At least there wasn’t until my contact at the Albuquerque Police Department filled me in about a new tip they received. I listened to the playback of the tip line phone call. This guy Henry described the scene right on. Only someone who saw the shooting, or was told first-hand by the killer about it, would know that the male was shot not just from far away, but three more bullets were plugged into him at close range using a small handgun. So either this guy saw Cap’s shooter or he knows who the motherfucker is.

Me: Big Bear? Where the fuck is that?

WK: San Bernardino County, CA.

Me: Fuck. It looks like we’re taking a road trip.

The fact that the guy is in Cali makes my skin tingle. The Greenbacks’ mother chapter and five others are in Cali. It’s their territory. It’s crossed my mind more than once the possibility they had something to do with Cap’s shooting. Cap’s been standing in their way a long time. Maybe too long. Maybe they think Griz, being family and all, will welcome them into New Mexico with open arms.

I hear laughter and when I look up, I spy the kids trying to wrangle Pumpkin into playing soccer. Three of them are dragging her away from the picnic tables. She’s reluctant, but also smiling.

Shit . . . I don’t want to leave her. Not now. If I leave with things the way they are, there’s a good chance she won’t be here when I get back. The thought has me warring with myself.

The club and Cap come first. That’s how it’s always been. That’s how it needs to be. But I’ll be damned if I don’t want to send Dozer and Taz in my place so I can stay here and make things right with Doll.

A few minutes later, my attention is glued to her gorgeous body as she juggles the ball down the field. Bodie’s little boy is latched on to her hand as they try to kick the ball past the other kids into their makeshift goal. She’s laughing and a trail of scarlet flies out behind her. She’s smiling wide, and every few seconds she has to tuck that wild mane of hers behind her ear to keep it out of her face.

I’ve never seen her like this.

So free in every way. Free to laugh. Free to play. Free to be herself.

Does she need freedom to show this side of herself? The exact thing I’ve been denying her. Would I see her like this more often if I backed off? Because I want to, I want to see the girl she hides away from us all. I want to see who she really is. What she looks like in her own clothes and in an environment she feels comfortable in. Above all, I want to know her real name and what she thinks about in that little head of hers.

I’ve tried to break her, but she’s stayed strong. I’ve tried to push her away, but she won’t go. I hope to hell that it stays that way. I want time to fix what I’ve damaged.

But ultimately, the decision is in her hands, and I can only hope that when I return, she’ll be here.

Bodie’s son gets kicked pretty hard by one of the other kids. His high-pitched wail pierces the air as he falls to the ground clutching his knee. Doll drops to her knees beside him.

I pocket my phone and head over because I know Blaire’s inside cleaning up, and Bodie’s nowhere to be seen. I wave off Kendra and the other adults who step away from the table to check on him, letting them know I’ll handle it.

As I near Tucker and Doll, I hear her say, “Shh . . . it’s okay. It’s just a scratch, see?”

Tucker, who’s as blond as his mama, sobs between sniffles. “Do you have a Band-Aid?”
Sniff
. “I willy need a Band-Aid.”

Doll spares me a glance when I stop beside her. She has her hand up shielding her eyes from the sun as she peers up at me. “The first aid kit’s in Dozer’s room,” she says. What she doesn’t say rings in the air around us.
It’s in Dozer’s room because you attacked me, cut me, and I had to be patched up.

Not sure I’ve ever felt like more of an asshole than I do right now.

She moves to stand, but I wave her off too. “I’ll go get it. You stay. Try to calm him down.”

It doesn’t take me long to get the first aid kit and get back to her. By then Tucker has stopped crying. He’s eating a cookie and sniffling every few seconds.

Doll applies the Band-Aid while Tucker tells her with a mouth full of cookie that he has Batman and Hello Kitty Band-Aids, better Band-Aids at his house. She should come over so he can show them to her. But he makes sure to tell her he doesn’t let his mom put the Hello Kitty ones on him. Those are for girls. Doll listens intently. Laughs, and gives animated responses that have Tucker smiling again in no time.

He gets to his feet. As if he’s just noticed I’m standing here, he looks up at me. I hold out my knuckles for him to bump. “Gettin’ strong like your old man.”

Tucker beams. “It’s cuz we wift weights together.” He holds his arm up and flexes. “See.”

I squeeze his arm and widen my eyes. “Whoa. You better put those muscles away before all the girls see and try to kiss you.”

His arm instantly drops. He scrunches up his nose. “Ew. Gross.”

I look over at Doll. “‘Gross,’ he says.”

“He’s four,” she replies, like that answers everything.

Nick walks up beside me. “Everything all right?”

“Yeah, looks like Doll’s got it taken care of.”

Her lips twist with amusement, “Doll. I thought it was Pumpkin?”

Doll brushes off her knees and stands. “Whichever. I go by so many names I can’t keep them straight.” She reaches forward and offers her hand to Nick. “You must be Nick, Dozer’s mom. It’s good to meet you.”

“Aww and she’s polite. You can call me Nick, or Locks. I’ll answer to either.” Nick winks at me. I hold my breath waiting for it. The snarky bitch to come out, but I’m surprised when Nick reaches forward and shakes Doll’s hand. “Nice to meet you, too.”

Wait what?
What is she doing?

“Thanks for the food. It was the last thing I wanted to worry about today. And I’m gettin’ sick of pizza.”

Doll nods. “Oh . . . yeah. Sure.” She says it as if she forgot all about baking for the army of people here today. “You’re welcome. Cooking’s kind of relaxing for me and I had a rough morning so I got a little carried away.”

Nick laughs. “Well, I doubt any of it will go to waste. And you can get carried away like that anytime. These guys won’t mind.” Nick slaps my stomach. “They’re pigs, if you haven’t already noticed.”

“Oh . . . I’ve noticed.”

“Hey now,” I say, but both women ignore me.

Doll tucks her hair behind her ear and glances at the box on the ground. She picks it up. “Well, I’m going to go put this away. It was nice meeting you.”

We both stare after her. I don’t know what Nick’s looking at but my eyes are locked on Doll’s ass and the sway of her hips. And her legs. She has the sexiest fucking legs. Eying them has me daydreaming about having them wrapped around me again and all the ways I could see how flexible she is.

“So she’s for Edge, huh?”

Denial surges through me. I want to dispute it. I meet her eyes quickly and then look away. My gaze immediately goes back to Doll. I nod. What the fuck else am I gonna say to Nick, the woman famous for spreading club gossip?

“She’s a rare breed, Mav.”

I know she is, but I’m curious about Nick’s take on her. “How do you mean?”

“She cooks for women she knows probably won’t like her. And is genuinely kind to kids that aren’t her own. Most women love their own children. But it’s because they’ve held them as perfect, adorable infants.” At her words, my own chest constricts like a python is coiling around it.

I never even got to do that. Hold my own child.

“That girl has the heart of a mother, though she’s not one yet. She reminds me of my grams. She was the salt of the earth and everyone knew my grandpa was the luckiest son of a bitch because women like that are hard as hell to find.”

Beats of silence spread between us. I see the truth of her words before my eyes.

“I hear you’re responsible for that bandage on her neck.”

Holy fuck!
I’m going to find out who’s ratting to her and break their fucking neck, after I cut out their tongue. “Who told you that?”

She raises a brow. “I have my sources.”

I chuckle darkly. I’ve never doubted that she knows almost everything that goes down at the clubhouse. Cap must have too, because he kept Becca in an apartment across town. She wasn’t allowed to live at the clubhouse.

“You know, Edge won’t care who he fucks when he gets out. Star or Jade. Either clubpiece is just as good as the next. It would be a shame to turn that beautiful girl into something ugly when she’s so obviously somethin’ special.”

She pats my face roughly, right over the bruise her son gave me. “She’s old lady material, Mav. Anyone who can’t see that is a fool.” Then she hammers the last nail in the coffin. “Dozer’s smart, but I thought you were smarter.”