Burnt (12 page)

Directly across from the foot of my bed is a set of three sliding mirrored doors hiding my overflowing wardrobe. I may have a slight clothes hoarding issue coupled with a clothing procurement problem. Procurement is a nice way to say that I buy far too much when I shop. I look at it this way; we have to drive an hour to get to a proper mall, so I see it as being economical, and looking after the environment by not having to make extra trips. Dad picks on me constantly for my little issue. Every time he sees me with a new shopping bag he proclaims loudly that I could clothe a small country. Probably true, but don’t tell him I said so.

The mirrored doors facing my bed kind of crept me out when I first moved in. One of the first additions I purchased was a big artistic print sticker of a phenomenally detailed peacock. It ties everything together beautifully using the deep teal, brighter green, striking blue and purple of the tail feathers pull the room together. Next to that on the same wall is the door to my master bathroom, and in the corner I have my forty-two inch flat screen TV mounted on the wall.

The piece de resistance is my bed. Mom brought it for me as a housewarming gift. It’s overly extravagant, and way too fucking expensive priced at four thousand five hundred dollars from a top-of-the-line furniture store. I didn’t need it and begged her to take it back. She told me to shut up and stop being ungrateful. So being the good daughter I am. I shut my mouth and choose to enjoy it instead. Dad refused to speak to mom for a week after finding out what she spent on it. He quickly forgave her though when she threatened him with pussy lockout for two weeks if he didn’t pull his head out of his ass. Before you ask. Yes dammit. I was indeed present for that delightful conversation

My bed is a huge draped four posted mahogany monstrosity. Not monstrosity in the sense that it’s ugly. Fuck no. It’s gorgeous. Monstrosity in the sense that it is freakin HUGE. To give you some prospective on its mammoth proportions picture this. It took six brothers to get it into the house, let alone the hour it took to get it into my room. After two cases of beer, and multiple, frequent, creative threats of bodily harm, they managed to place it perfectly before leaving. It didn’t stop them whining the entire time however. The draping acting as a canopy around the entire bed, is made of a very fine white gauzy fabric interspersed with silver threads. Mom had it made when she saw my décor, and I have to admit it is gorgeous. The corner posts are so thick you can’t even round them with two hands. Each post is hand-carved with ornate delicate vines wrapping around until they reach the top beam.

By the look on Dec’s face he’s having the same reaction everyone else has when they first see the size of it.

“That’s one fucking huge bed for such a tiny woman Kenny. You could get lost in that thing.” Yep. I probably could.

Actually, I think I almost did one night. I got stuck in my sheets and blankets, and nearly didn’t find my way to the edge. I prevailed as the winner that time.

“I haven’t yet, but I’ll be sure to call for help if I do. Lexi loves it when we watch movies. You should see her. She shuts the draping and calls it a fairy cave.”

Chuckling Dec nods,

“She would. You got a minute though Kenny? I’ve got to talk to you before Lexi gets in here and interrupts. It’s important.”

Hmmm, sounds interesting. Dec and I haven’t had an actual important conversation for years, so who am I to refuse the opportunity?

“Sure. What’s up?” Perching on the edge of my bed I pull my legs up hugging my arms around them. I always sit like this, it’s comfortable. Lou teases me saying that I only make myself smaller when I sit like this and look like I’m trying to hide from the world. She’s wrong about the latter part of that. I’m not hiding. I’m protecting myself. I do it subconsciously, it’s engrained in me now. Automatic so to speak.

Dec doesn’t make a move to come further into the room, he just clears his throat causing me snap my head up and shake off my thoughts.

“There’s no easy way to ease into this so I’ll just come right out and say it. When I got home from here last night I walked in on some fucked up shit at home. I’m only telling you because I figure won’t be long before you hear it making the rounds in town.” Swallowing thickly, I can’t tell if he’s sad, or resigned, he continues. “It’s no secret Isabella and I don’t get on. Fuck Kenny. It’s not a state secret that I never even loved the bitch. I might have knocked her up and I stayed with her, but that was all there was to it. Obligation and resignation. Anyway, last night I walked in on her fucking some guy in our bed. I kicked her out. Told her I want full custody of Lexi, and that she’s got to sign away her rights when it comes to my daughter. I want a divorce. She knows that too. I ended up giving her five days to get the fuck out of my house, and take her shit with her because when her time’s up, I’m changing the locks, and burning whatever she leaves behind. The papers will be ready by lunch. She’ll sign then I’ll give her the twenty grand I promised her to get the fuck out of Blackwater, and never come back.” Succinct and factual. Dec speaks with very little emotion in what can only be described as a monotone voice when it comes to the dissolution of his marriage.

I’m not really sure where to start, or how to process everything he just said. Firstly, who would fuck around on this gorgeous specimen of man? Not me that’s for sure. Stupid cow. See. It proves Isabella is completely fucked up. Not that we didn’t already know that, but this takes the cake. Secondly, wow. Just wow. Did I say wow? Deciding to opt for the safe route, which would be relating the situation back to Lexi, I say,

“Oh Declan. I’m so sorry. Poor Lexi.”

Dec interrupts me by throwing his hand up in the universal gesture to stop. His eyes are burning with determination, and his mouth is sweeping a hard slash across his beautiful face.

“Stop. Stop right fucking there Kendall. You of all people have nothing to be sorry for. The stupid bitch got what she deserved. Fuck Kenny. She got more than she deserved. She doesn’t love that little Angel. She doesn’t love me. Isabella loves my money. My position with the club, and loved my cock the few times in the past eighteen months she got it. She only got it then because I was fucking drunk and fucking stupid. I wouldn’t have fucked the cunt if I could even open my mouth at the time to say no. I was honestly that fucked up. I don’t give a flying fuck that she’s leaving. Jesus. I’m fucking ecstatic she is. Lexi doesn’t need to be around that sort of influence. My bank balance doesn’t either. And, I sure as fuck don’t need her ruining what’s left of my life. I’m only telling you because I want you to know what’s going down. I won’t be back living in that house while she’s still in it though, so I’m going to stay with dad for a bit till she clears out.”

I fess up because there’s nothing I hate more than keeping secrets, and I’ve never kept one from Dec, so I’m not starting now.

“Being totally honest and upfront?” I phrase it as a question, and Dec nods at me to go on. “I knew before you got here that you kicked her out.” Jaw dropping wide, I stop him before he can speak. “Mom called this morning before Lexi got up. I promise she didn’t hear a thing. I wouldn’t let that happen. All she told me was uncle Pipe called dad late last night, and then dad told mom that you kicked her out, and want custody of Lexi. She said something about papers, but I wasn’t listening by then. The whole thing is fucked up Dec. I’m not going to pretend I understand why you stayed with her so long, or why in God’s name she cheated on you. What I can say is that I’m glad it makes you happy she’s gone, and I hope Lexi adjust to it okay. She’s young so I have no doubt she will in time, but regardless it may hit her hard, so watch out for that.”

Sitting down heavily next to me Dec sighs.

“Of course you’re worried about adjustment and shit. That’s the fucking problem with you Kenny. You’re too sweet to get angry at for ruining my happy surprise. Don’t stress over it though. I think Lexi will surprise us all with how well she takes the news.”

I laugh in response to his reference of divorce as his happy surprise. Not many men would view it as such.

“Pshh.” I huff on an exhale of air. “You can tell dad that. After I went shopping with mom last week, and we used his credit card he’ll tell you he can get plenty angry at me.”

Dec laughs now too lightening the heavy mood that was previous filling the room. “I call bullshit on that Kenny. He told us all about it. Priest was mad as hell for all of .05 seconds before you smiled big at him. Handed over that sweet new Harley wallet you brought him, making the old guy melt. Shut your mouth and don’t tell him I told you that though. Leave him with the fantasy he can stay mad at you. It’s all he’s got in his defence against the two women in his life.”

Patting his arm I agree.

“His secrets safe with me Dec. What are you going to do now? When it comes to everything that’s going on for you and Lexi I mean. I know you gave Isabella your terms, but what’s your short term look like?”

Dropping his head to think on it for a minute before answering, he turn and looks at me with sincerity in his eyes.

“I’ve got more to tell you Kendall. Some of it relates to what you just said, and some of it is long past due to be explained. We need to sit down and have an actual conversation though. Now’s not the time because I have no doubt Lexi’s going to come in soon. What I have to say needs time and no interruptions. Can you make some time for me to do that, have that conversation with you?” The thought is thrilling, and scary at the same time. Dec and I haven’t sat down and REALLY talked for a long time. I trust him with my life, but that’s easier to say that it is to trust him with my heart. Especially after he destroyed it so completely last time.

Who am I kidding? If I’m completely honest with myself he already has my heart. He always has. That doesn’t mean that I’m going to blindly trust him again after one conversation. Over the years since our friendship deteriorated I’ve hardened the shell around my barely functioning heart. Dec is going to need to work damn hard to make a dent in the fortified walls I’ve built to protect myself.

Nodding slowly I agree to give him an opportunity to clear the air between us, and explain what he feels he needs to.

“If that’s what you need, then sure. You need to know that regardless of what you have to say, things are different now, and I don’t think our friendship will ever be what it used to be.” Dec grabs my hand tangling our fingers together. This is the first time he’s had any physical contact with me in years, and I can’t help but attempt to repress the shiver of arousal that courses through me. I decide this is the time to extend the offer mom made this morning with a little twist of my own added in. “When mom called this morning she offered for you and Lexi to stay with her and dad. She said she’d even feed your big ass. If you want you can stay here though. I know it’s not as big as mom and dads’ house, and not half as big as your da….,”

Dec cuts me off again. That’s something he’s really good at. Not letting me finish a sentence.

“Really. You want us to stay here? I mean just Lexi can stay if…”

He looks shocked as he confirms my words, but in a good way. It’s my turn to stop him before he gets too far with that thought.

“Shut up Dec. You two are a package deal. Always will be. Lexi is comfortable here. She has her own space, she loves Monty and Abel, and I don’t think this is the right time for her to be pushed around from house-to-house without any stability. Sure Lexi’s okay with you being away a couple of days at a time, but she’ll miss you like crazy if you spend five nights away from her when you don’t have to. Of course you can stay too. The third bedroom only has a futon in it, but the mattress is new, so I’m sure a big tough guy like you can handle it for a few days.”

Snatching me up hugging me tightly to his chest, Dec kisses the top of my head. My body automatically tenses. This is even closer than he was before when he was holding my hand. I never usually let him get within reaching distance of me with good reason. There is a very definite, specific reaction Dec elicits from my body. So much so it’s embarrassing. My cheeks flush. My panties dampen, and I’m sure he can see the pulse racing in my neck. This is why I keep my distance with options for escape if I manage to humiliate myself.

It doesn’t help that he still smells like he did all those years ago too. The smell is one that’s unique to Dec. I’ve never smelt anything more divine in my life. Musk, a little engine oil, a bit of leather, and a whole lot of warm spicy male. His scent is like a concentrated hit of an aphrodisiac. A powerful one at that. If you could bottle that shit you would make millions.

“Thanks, Baby. I appreciate it. Lexi will love staying here, me too to be honest. I fucking miss you Kendall. And I’m so fucking sorry I let shit get so fucked up. I promise you I’ll set it all straight when I get the chance yeah?”

This is the first time Declan has apologised to me after what he did years before. He’s hinted at it occasionally. His eyes have begged for my forgiveness time and time again, but the words have never left his mouth until now. If I was a stronger woman I would tell him that his apology is too little too late, and he can go and firmly shove it up his ass, but I’m not. I’m not that strong woman, and the overwhelming sense of closure his apology brings me causes a tear to escape and drip down the leather of his cut.

Dec must hear my sniffle because he tilts my head using his big hands to softly cup my jaw, brushing the stray tears away with his calloused thumbs.

“Fuck Kendall don’t cry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just need for you to get that I’m so fucking sorry. I know I should’ve laid it out for you years ago. Fuck. Any time in the last five years would’ve been good. I promise you though, you make that time for me, and I’ll fix as much of this as I can yeah?”