BWWM: BEFORE I WAKE: A Bad Boy Billionaire Book Collection (African American Interracial Series) (362 page)

JACKSON

NEW YEAR’S EVE

“Holy shit man! You’re making amazing progress. Daddy must have been working over the break! Looks like we’ll  be ready come springtime!”

Santos had just watched me spar with Aaron. We were in the locker room as I unwrapped my knee and got ready to hit the shower. I can walk almost normally on it now. I still wear the wrap when I’m not in the cage. I just can’t do much jumping or bouncing around on it when I’m working out.

              “Yeah,” I said. “I’ll be ready.” I sat on the wooden bench nearby to unwrap my wrists. I still wanted this, badly…but the enthusiasm had taken a back seat to the misery I’ve felt over the Christmas I’d spent without Amara and Nala. It was fucking depressing and even my mother was furious at me for letting Amara walk away. I’ve tried calling her, but she won’t take my calls. I feel like my heart’s being crushed.

“So, Jack, what are you doing tonight for New year’s Eve? Do you and the lady have any big plans?”

And there goes the knife to the gut. “No. We uh…shit... We’re not seeing each other any more.”

Santos blinked in surprise. “Aw, no way! You were head over heels when we spoke a few weeks ago. What happened?”

“I’m an idiot,” I said slamming down the strands of tape.

“She doesn’t want to see me fight and she doesn’t want to be involved with me as long as I am fighting. But the biggest problem is the way she found out. I lied to her about it… I was trying not to hurt her and I fucked it all up!”

“Does she know why you think you have to do this?”

“You mean did I tell her about... Don?”

“Yeah.”

“No, I didn’t fucking tell her! That’s so embarrassing. Tell my woman that I’m a fraud? That I’m not really a champion? Hell no I didn’t tell her.” I swallowed the disgust. It was already bad enough I’d lost my dignity in the cage. No use in throwing away my pride too. And to Amara? How would she even look at me if she knew my little secret? I shook my head, there’s no way I could ever tell her that.

“Don’t you owe her that much, man? I mean…she might still be pissed that you lied, but maybe she’ll understand a little more about why you’re so driven to do this. Talk to her man, tell her you’re sorry for not letting her in. You haven’t told her the whole truth yet.”

My phone buzzed beside me
.
Mom.

Santos clapped me on the shoulder and said, “Man, you have a happy new year and think about what I said, okay?”

I nodded towards him.“You too. Be safe.” I picked up the phone and cradled it to my ear.

“Hey Mom.”

My mom and Roger went on a cruise every year for New Years. I could hear the music and commotion in the background. She yelled into my ear.

“Hi Honey! I wanted to make sure you’re not spending New Year’s alone! Have you made up with Amara yet?!”

“No Mom. She still doesn’t want to see me.” Why was everyone so bothered with asking me about her
?
Maybe because you blabbed on and on about how she’s everything good on God’s green earth?

              “Are you just going to let her go honey…or are you going to do what you do best - fight? I thought my son was a fighter?”

              I chuckled. “Who do you want her for Mom, me or you?”

              “Both of us,” she said warmly. “I really like her Jackson -  more than any other woman you’ve been with and she made you happy. I also know you love that little girl. Roger and I do too.”

I took a deep breath as I felt the seize in my chest. “I’ll try Mom. I love them both.”

“I know you do. Use that fighting instinct and don’t just sit back and let her go.”

Smiling I said, “Thanks Mom. You and Roger have fun on your cruise and don’t worry about me. I’ll work it out. Happy New Year to you both. I love you.”

After I showered and dressed I wondered pathetically downtown to a Mexican food place I liked. I sat down and ordered. I looked up at the television that was playing the New Year’s Eve revelries from all around the country. Every frame they showed had a happy couple in each other’s arms.

I looked over at the bar…everyone had someone and everything reminded me that I didn’t have Amara. I threw enough money down on the table for the meal I didn’t get yet and got up and left. I can’t fucking take this anymore.

I drove crosstown to Amara’s house at too rapid a speed. Luckily the police were busy and the LA streets weren’t as crowded as usual. I got there around eleven p.m. and my palms were sweating as I knocked on the door. A few seconds later it was pulled open by a middle aged black man.

I guess I looked dumbfounded but he just smiled.“You must be Jackson.”

“Dad who is at…?” Amara came of the kitchen carrying a bowl of popcorn. My heart skipped and she froze when she saw me. Nala suddenly shot across the floor from behind her mom squealing out my name. I opened my arms and she jumped into them.

“Jacky, Jacky, Jacky!”

“Hi baby girl! I’m so happy to see you! I missed you like crazy.” I kissed her cheek and she squeezed my neck pretty tightly for a little girl.

“I missed you too. Why didn’t you come over for Christmas?” She frowned innocently. I looked at Amara. She looked on the verge of tears as she glanced between me and Nala.

“Well… Nala… I’m sorry about that. My knee was giving me some trouble that day…but if it’s okay with your mom I’d like to make it up to you soon. I have lots of presents for you.”

“Lots!” she exclaimed with a big expression.

I smiled. “Yeah, lots. Princesses always get lots of presents from their loyal subjects.”

She put her small hands on my face then and kissed my cheek. “Hooray! Thank you so muchhhh!” I was so choked up that I could barely talk as I set her down.

“Ok, now. By the way, why are you still up so late?” I patted her head and she wiggled in a random toddler dance.

“Papa came to spend New Year’s with us! We’re watching the crystal ball drop all the way in New York!”

I looked up at Amara. “Can we talk?”

Her beautiful eyes bore into me. God, I missed this woman so much.

“Dad, would you mind taking Nala in to watch the program? I’ll be there soon.”

Her father smiled and took Nala’s hand. Amara handed him the popcorn as he passed and then she turned back to me and jerked her head towards the kitchen. I followed her in and I took a seat at the kitchen island. She hovered nearby and my hands ached to hold her close.

She crossed her arms and peered at me through her lashes.“What are you doing here Jack?”

“I’ve fucking missed you baby!” I whispered harshly. “I… I can’t do this without you, Amara. None of it…I know you hate it, but for me this is about…. my name. I can’t let them destroy me like that baby…”

“What do you mea
n
the
m
? Who is trying to destroy you?”

“That night, after I got hurt? I found out that... I was neve
r
reall
y
a champion. My trainer Don admitted that he and my team were paying fighters off to lose…betting on me and paying off referees…it was a big fucking mess. And I had no idea this was going on. But, the bottom line is that I came away from it all feeling like a big fake. I felt like I hadn’t earne
d
anythin
g
…and I felt empty, Amara.”

She remained still, listening closely.

“When I found you, I knew that what we shared had been missing in my life and your belief in me filled so many spaces in my heart. You and Nala both. But baby there is still this huge part of me that does have something to prove. There’s unfinished business there and I have to stay in this…to prove I am what I’ve always thought I was…
a
rea
l
champion…a fighter. I shouldn’t have lied to you, but you were so set that you wouldn’t date a fighter… I told myself that hopefully once you got to know me it would be okay but then I fell in love with you. I’ve never been scared of anything…but I was terrified of losing you. Please Amara…please give me another chance. Stay by my side.”

Her eyes moistened with tears. “You should have told me the truth. I should have had the option to at least decide to work with you, had I known all the facts. Do you understand that’s what hurts so badly here? You led me to believe that you were the man you said you were so I let myself fall. You knew how I felt about your sport.”

“I do…I really do understand that. It was never my intention to break your heart. I never thought about it like that. I love you so much Amara, I promise you’ll always know the truth and always have a right to choose… just please... give me another chance to prove that to you.”

She watched me in silence.

“If we do this, then while you’re training you’ll listen to your therapist too - not just your coach. If I think you’re too aggressive on your body, we all stop.”

I nodded. “Yes. I’ll listen to every word. And so will the team.”

A small smile lifted on her face. “You’re so lucky I’m in love with you, Jack.”

“I know.” I had tears in my eyes now and my heart swelled with love. I leaned forward and pulled her between my legs. I prayed she  wouldn’t pull away. She didn’t but instead rested her hands on my shoulders. She pressed her sweet lips into mine and just as we began to deepen the kiss, a little voice brought us out of it.

“Jacky, the countdown is starting!”

We laughed. I looked at Amara and she rolled her eyes in amusement.

“You’d better hurry. I’d be willing to bet Papa has already eaten most of the popcorn.”

With an overwhelming sense of relief, I rose and took the hands of the two most beautiful ladies in the world and I let them lead me into the New Year…gratefully and full of excitement and hope for the future.

              We snuggled on one end of the couch as her father sat in the recliner and we all watched the ball drop together. When the clock struck midnight we each kissed and hugged Nala and when she went to hug her Papa, I took the opportunity to kiss her mother… God I love her.

AMARA

              We were all hanging out in mine and Jackson’s suite before the big fight. I can’t believe the spring came so quickly. We had a five bedroom suite in the New Yorker…it was comped by Johnny and the rest of the  promoters. Jackson’s friend Cain and his fiance Jasmine had come to New York to support him. Another fighter named Aaron had caravanned with us from LA.

Cain and Aaron had been shooting barbs back and forth at each other all day.

When Jasmine left the room Aaron playfully punched Cain in the arm. “How in the hell did an ugly guy like you ever land a lass like that?”

He said it like he was kidding, but I’m sure Cain noticed like the rest of us that Aaron seemed to be in awe of her.

Cain laughed and swiped him back. “You’re just jealous of my stunning good looks, brother. Touch that one and I’ll rearrange your baby face. Get your own black beauty!”

Aaron scoffed dramatically. “Aye, I’m on the lookout - so does she have a sister or what?”

“No, but her brother Julius is kinda pretty.”

Aaron feigned a swoon and then he rolled his eyes as he turned towards me.

“Ah - Ah - Amara! D
o
yo
u
have a sister?… Cousin?” He winked.

I laughed, “Sorry Scotland, you’re on your own.”

Cain left to find his wife. Jack, Santos and the team were alone next door gearing up for his big night. Caroline and Roger lounged in the next room with Nala. And so here I was, left to admire the view of the bustling city below.

I heard a sound and turned to see Aaron rummaging with the pool table. He always seemed to have so much energy.

“Do you wish it wa
s
yo
u
out there tonight?”

He grinned and rolled a shoulder casually as he set up to strike the balls. “Nah, it’s just a matter of time for me. I’ve got one more year. One more year then I’ll take a crack at the Axe too! I’ll be ready for him then though,” he said with his eyebrows wagging.

Pow
!
Pool balls scattered across the green felt.

“But right now it’s all him!” His accent came out.

“Are you as confident as he is about him beating this Goliath guy tonight?”

“Oh absolutely.” He said it as if there was no room at all for doubt. He’s really amazing Amara. I’ve honestly never seen anyone work their ass off like he’s done. He’s also been great for me to have around. He’s motivated the hell out of me and taught me a lot. Between all that and the fantastic physical therapist he’s been working with,” He winked. “I’d say he’s a bad. ass. This division won’t know what hit em.”

That made me feel a little better. Jackson hadn’t told me but I had done my own research and found out that Mikko Visklaska - aptly named “Goliath” was the most notorious heavyweight champion to date. He once knocked out a guy in the cage who died the next day. I tried to put that out of my mind…but it was hard as hell. I looked up and saw my champion emerge from his team huddle.