BWWM Interracial Romance 8: Mutual Attraction

Mutual

Attraction

Elena Brown

Copyright © 2015

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Copyright © 2015

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Barbara
Woodward tapped the keyboard shortcut to undo her last action, and then leaned back to stare at the collection of lines and curves that were supposed to be a rendering of the penthouse balcony on the thirty floor live/work building she and her team had been working on for months. Her cubicle was lined with hand drawn sketches of how she’d originally conceptualized her part of the design, but try as she might, she just couldn’t translate those rough outlines to a final design that she knew would meet the rigorous standards she’d been hired to meet. AJ Cline and Associates was one of the top architectural firms in the city, and she’d had to fight tooth and nail to even get an interview, let alone convince the hiring panel to give her a job that she knew she well deserved.

That, unfortunately, was the kind of thing she was used to dealing with. Barbara had been fortunate enough to have been raised by a mother who had planned for her future by saving enough to send her to a quality university, but her education and excellent references only went so far to make up for her gender and skin color. Being a woman in a male dominated industry was tough enough, but on top of that she was also the only African American person on staff at her firm. It wouldn’t be quite fair to her coworkers to say that she was held to a distinctly different standard, but there was no denying that the white boys club of the architecture world made her feel like she had something to prove every time she walked into the office and sat down to work.

The gentle buzz of Barbara’s phone vibrating in her purse shook her from her thoughts. She reached into the bag to retrieve it, and frowned at the name on the screen. Rather than answer it, she clicked a button on the side of the phone to silence its insistent buzzing, letting the call go to voicemail.

There was nothing Neil could possibly have to say that would make her feel better about tackling the mountain of work in front of her. Even though he was most likely calling to apologize for their bitter argument from the night before, Barbara didn’t want to hear it. What she wanted to do was to get home before midnight, and at this rate, she wasn’t even sure if that was a realistic possibility. Taking time out of her day to deal with Neil would do nothing to help that, and so she turned her phone off completely, hoping that Neil wouldn’t resort to calling her work line.

Barbara set her mind back to her design task and wished desperately that she could make herself a cup of coffee. It just didn’t seem fair that she’d been impossibly tired for the last three months since discovering she was pregnant, while at the same time having to cut caffeine from her diet. On top of that was the cruel joke that she’d had a terrible appetite for most of that time, yet her already curvy body was now starting to show a little belly that made it uncomfortable to lean too far forward while wearing her favorite jeans.

At least the nausea and exhaustion had started to wear off over the last few weeks, thought Barbara as she contemplated another night of eating delivery food at her desk. With all the long hours she’d been putting in, it had been difficult to keep others from noticing how run down she’d felt throughout her first trimester. The last thing she wanted was for her boss to learn of her pregnancy before this project was complete, and now that the first swell of her belly was beginning to show as a visible bump, that was going to become a real issue.

Barbara cursed inwardly and tried to focus on the work in front of her. A particularly difficult section of the curved wall of windows had been holding her up all week, and she now regretted showing the initial concept sketches to her boss. Designing something that would be both structurally sound and possible to shape from glass was something she knew was possible, yet figuring out a way to bring it to reality seemed so far out of reach.

Having promised herself that she’d get it done before going home that night, Barbara picked up her desk phone and dialed her mother’s cell phone.

“Hey baby,” said her mother when she answered. “How’s your day going?”

“Terrible,” said Barbara. “It looks like I’m going to have to stay late again tonight. I just wanted to tell you not to worry about me, and to not wait up.”

“Barbara, honey, you know I don’t like how much time you’re spending at work these days,” said her mother. “It’s just not health for you, and it’s especially bad for the baby. You need your rest, and you know it.”

“I also need this job,” said Barbara, lowering her voice so that her coworkers wouldn’t overhear anything. “You know I need to get this done. My future at this company depends on it.”

“I know,” said Barbara’s mother. “Your father and I worked hard to give you the kind of choices we didn’t have, and I don’t want to see you giving up your life just to work all the time.”

“Mom, this isn’t the conversation I want to be having right now,” said Barbara. “I have to get back to work, but I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay, baby,” said her mother. “I love you.”

“I love you too mom.”

Barbara hung up the phone and sighed. If it wasn’t one thing it was another. Could nothing in her life just be simple?

Doctor
Neil Edwards pulled his lab coat back off his shoulders and hung it on the hook next to his office door. It had been a long morning of seeing patients and dealing with the inevitable emergencies that always crept into his schedule no matter how much space he tried to leave for them, and he hadn’t yet had a chance to sit down for even a moment after nearly six hours on shift. He was hungry, he was tired, and he still had a long day ahead of him.

Neil settled into his high backed leather chair and checked his phone. He still hadn’t received a reply to any of his calls or texts to Barbara, and he worried that he’d actually screwed up this time. Their relationship had started out as such a carefree thing only eight months earlier, but there had been almost nothing but trouble in the days and weeks following Barbara’s discovery that she’d become pregnant from a drunken night of passionate sex at Neil’s place.

He cursed the stupid condom that had broken, and he berated himself once again for not taking the whole situation more seriously. So many women had come and gone during his years in med school and then as he rose to his position at Saint Joseph’s hospital, and he hadn’t always been responsible as he could have been. Of course, the drinking didn’t really help with that, and it was one of the reasons he’d made a big effort to cut back on his excesses over the last few weeks.

Of course, that only made him want to drink even more.

Neil licked his dry lips and thought about the bottle he used to keep in his desk. He’d never considered himself an alcoholic since he’d never consumed a drop while on shift, and he’d never been so driven to drink that he’d been unable to go without for a few days, but the truth was that he tended to rely rather heavily on the numbing effect of a glass or three of whiskey at the end of a tough day. It wasn’t that he drank all the time, but that he’d never been able to stop at just one glass.

He’d been drinking when he’d talked to Barbara the night before. Not so much as to leave him slurring or yelling inappropriately, but enough to mess up his filters and to cause him to say some things that he still wasn’t sure he should have given voice to. There was a big difference between having a feeling and telling it to someone you were involved with, and he was pretty sure he’d jumped over that line with both feet last night.

Neil picked up his phone and pressed the button that dialed his assistant.

“Hi Ashley,” he said. “Could I get a cup of coffee and the morning’s charts please?”

“Sure thing, Doctor Edwards,” she replied.

Neil fired up his computer and tackled a few pressing emails until the soft knock on his door announced the arrival of his assistant with the coffee and files he’d requested.

“Rough morning?” she asked, genuine concern evident on her young face.

Neil shrugged. “Nothing beyond the usual chaos.”

Ashley smiled supportively and placed his cup on his desk before handing him the charts. She wore a form-fitting pale blue skirt cut just above the knees, and her thin white wool sweater was cut low enough at the neck that Neil caught a flash of smooth white cleavage and a lacy blue bra that triggered a definite stirring in his pants.

“Anything else I can get you?” she asked, straightening up and tucking a strand of perfect blonde hair behind her ear.

“No. Thank you,” said Neil.

Ashley turned and walked away, her tight round bum flexing enticingly as her heels clicked along the floor.

Neil clenched his jaw and pushed away inappropriate thoughts of trying to get Ashley into bed with him. It wasn’t that he had any sort of strict moral code that prevented him from sleeping with his assistants, and he certainly hadn’t refrained from doing it in the past, but things were different now with Barbara. He didn’t know exactly what their future held, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that the child growing in her belly was as much his own genetic material as it was hers.

Thankfully he had no more patients scheduled for the rest of the day, but Neil knew it was only a matter of time before he was called away from his desk. He still had a mountain of paperwork to plough through. There had been a time when he’d dreamed of never having to work on call again, but now that he’d moved up the ranks a little, he missed the days of spending less time behind a desk and more time on his feet helping patients. As exhausting as it was, at least it wasn’t as mind-numbingly repetitive as handling a host of administrative issues pertaining to his department.

Neil took out his phone and tapped out yet another text message to Barbara. He had a rare Friday off work, and he suggested they meet for dinner to talk things out face to face instead of keeping each other at a distance. Despite a part of him wanting the whole thing to fall apart so that he could go back to avoiding commitment and screwing pretty girls like Ashley, there was something about Barbara he couldn’t shake, and it frustrated him to no end that he couldn’t seem to say the right thing around her.

“I need a goddam drink,” he muttered to himself, looking wistfully at the drawer where he’d once kept a fifth of whiskey that he’d had to replace every other week.

Instead he sipped his coffee, grimacing at the terrible burnt flavor before settling back into his work.

“
I
guess I’m just not sure why you came over if you’re still so mad at me,” said Neil as he poured himself a drink.

Barbara had agreed to meet for dinner, but she’d been exhausted and stressed before even arriving, and she’d only become more annoyed as the meal progressed. She didn’t know if it was her guilt over having left the office with so much work still left undone, or that she didn’t feel that Neil had been entirely genuine with is apology, but there was an anger inside of her that she couldn’t shake no matter how hard she tried to convince herself that this man was the father of her unborn child and that she owed it to herself to do her best to see if she couldn’t work things out between them.

“I don’t know either,” she said.

Barbara watched Neil down his drink in one gulp before pouring himself another. He then came and sat in the armchair across from where she sat on the couch. She noticed he couldn’t quite bring himself to look her in the eye, and she wondered if she shouldn’t just leave before things got any worse than they already were.

“I’m sorry about what I said the other night,” offered Neil. “I really am. I was just thinking about loud, and it was an option I’d thought about when I first found out about your pregnancy.”

“Why the hell did you bring it up like you thought it was still on the table?” she asked, her voice taking on a harsh edge.

“It’s technically not too late,” said Neil. “You’re just barely into your second trimester, and it’s not entirely uncommon for women to choose to abort the fetus at this stage. I didn’t mean to imply that I thought it was best for you or me, but rather that it was an option.”

“You’re always so fucking clinical about everything,” she said. “I told you I wanted to keep the baby the first time we talked about it, and I don’t see why you felt it necessary to bring it up again after three months.”

“Well, I am a doctor,” said Neil. He swirled his drink around in his glass and then tipped half of it into his mouth. “It’s hard for me to turn off sometimes. Besides, you’re the one worried about how this will affect your job. Didn’t you say you thought you were up for a promotion but that you’d never get it if your boss found out you were about to have a baby?”

“That’s not reason enough for me to not have this child,” said Barbara.

Neil finished off his drink and got up to fetch himself another.

“If you pour that drink, I’m gone,” said Barbara. “I’m not having this discussion with you if you insist on being drunk, and don’t you dare think I’m going to keep giving you chances to be a man about this.”

Neil set his glass down on the counter and braced his hands on the edge, leaning over and hanging his head in frustration. He choked back angry words and took deep breaths, trying to calm himself instead of lashing out with the acid building inside him.

“I don’t want to fight,” he said softly. “And I don’t want to upset you.”

Barbara stood up and went to him. She placed her hand on his back and held it there, feeling the soft rise and fall of his breathing.

“I don’t want to fight either,” she said. “I can’t keep doing this though. Either you’re here with me and this baby, or you’re not. I want it to be the first option, but I can make do if it’s the second.”

Neil turned and looked into Barbara’s dark brown eyes. His head felt muddied and slow from the drinks he’d had with dinner, and he hated himself for hiding behind the alcohol like some kind of coward. He knew deep down that a coward was what he really was, but how could he ever admit that to Barbara?

“I’m not good at this,” he said instead. “My job and the hours I have to work are so terrible for having any kind of life outside the hospital. I’m not ready for this kind of responsibility, and I’m sorry I got you into this mess.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” said Barbara. She took Neil’s hands and squeezed them. “This isn’t a mess, it’s just a curveball life has thrown at us. I was upset and confused at first too, but I’m happy to be having this baby, Neil. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is what I want, but I’m running out of time for you to decide if you want it too. I can accept that you might not be ready for that yet, but I can’t wait forever for you to make up your mind.”

“I just don’t know if I can,” he said.

Barbara let Neil’s hands fall from her grasp. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes, and she swallowed the growing lump in her throat only to have it replaced by another much larger one. She wanted to run from Neil’s apartment and to never look back, but she was so tired, and the truth was that she didn’t want to be without him.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t try,” he said, reaching up to brush a strand of her black hair off her face. “I need some time to get used to this, is that okay?”

Barbara nodded, the tears breaking and flowing freely down her cheeks. She whimpered a little and let out a choked sob, falling into Neil’s arms.

Neil kissed the top of her head and spoke into her hair. “I really am sorry about what I said. It was inappropriate and completely insensitive, and I should have known better than to bring it up again.”

“It’s okay,” she mumbled into his chest. “I know this is scary for you too.”

“I really care for you, Barbara. Please know that I want to make this work between us. I’m just not very well equipped to deal with all of this. My brain is still trying to catch up to the reality of it all. I don’t want to be an absentee father always stuck at work while you raise our kid, and I don’t know if I can balance my professional life with the kind of responsibility something like that would demand from me.”

“I understand,” said Barbara. “I’m sad about it, but I get it.”

Neil lifted Barbara’s chin and leaned down to kiss her. She could taste the salt of her tears on his lips when they pressed against hers, and his tongue felt hot and eager when it entered her mouth. A part of her was furious with him for being such an immature and irresponsible asshole, but the rest of her was too broken and tired to resist him when he began to unbutton her blouse so he could slip it back off her shoulders. When he unfastened her belt and pulled away the button on her jeans, she tugged them down for him, stepping out of her pants and standing before him in the black bra and panties she’d worn to work that day.

“You are so sexy,” he said, unbuttoning his own shirt.

Barbara ran a hand over the gentle swell of her belly. The change in her body seemed so huge to her, yet she wondered if Neil even noticed.

Having removed his shirt and pants, Neil guided her to the couch and had her sit down while he kneeled before her. He kissed her on the mouth before moving downwards, his lips and tongue kissing and licking their way down over her the swell of her full breasts before reaching behind her to unclasp her bra and expose her dark nipples. Neil ran his tongue around them in lazy circles, teasing them to stiffness before sucking on them and nibbling at them with his teeth.

Barbara moaned softly when he continued his journey southward, his lips progressing along the path that brought them to the line of her panties. Kissing and licking the delicate skin of her inner thigh, he slipped his tongue inside the edge of her underwear, running it along her wetness and sending a shiver of anticipation up her spine.

Barbara lifted her bum so Neil could pull her underwear down her legs and over her feet, and she spread her knees, giving him full access to her pussy.

Neil honed in on it like a starving man seeing his first meal in days, licking and teasing her furiously until she cried out with the pleasure of a toe-curling orgasm, her hands entwined in Neil’s hair as she pulled his face into her while he licked her to climax.

“Fuck me,” she whispered when he pulled away, wiping her wetness from his face with the back of his hand. “I want you inside me.”

Neil straightened up and took hold of his cock, now raging hard and eager for the softness of her pussy. He ran the tip of it along her slit, moistening himself with her wetness before pushing it into her until he’d buried himself completely.

Biting her lip and closing her eyes, Barbara let herself drift away with the pleasure of his cock pressing against her with each long slow stroke, moaning in response to his soft grunting as he moved his hips back and forth. Neil’s hands slid up the curves of her body, clutching her breasts and squeezing them before moving one hand up along her neck to cup her cheek, running his thumb along her lips as he fucked her.

“Cum inside me, baby,” she said, clenching her muscles as she felt another climax rolling over her. “I want to feel you cum inside me.”

Barbara lifted her legs and wrapped them around Neil’s waist, clenching them tightly while Neil began thrusting even more fervently. He was grunting loudly now, his hand clutching the back of her neck at the shoulder while he pulled himself in and out of her with big strokes, the sound of his body slapping against hers echoing into the room.

“Oh fuck,” he said, a look of raw ecstasy on his face. “Fuck, I’m cumming, oh fuck I’m cumming.”

Barbara’s stomach clenched hard and shouted her orgasm loudly and without hesitation, her fingers sinking deep into the muscles of Neil’s back while he climaxed inside of her.

After several prolonged thrusts, Neil’s body softened, and he relaxed his hold on her, breathing heavily and staring down at her sex-flushed body.

The heat of the moment dwindled rapidly, and as the flush of erotic endorphins washed through Barbara’s body, she felt the sadness creep back in. Staring up at the man who’d just emptied his seed inside of her, she knew she was deeply in love with him, and she hated herself for wondering if it was even possible for him to love her back.