Cabin Fever (13 page)

Finally, Alex must have judged her to be clean or warm enough, since he shut the water off and reached out of the stall to grab the towel. He rubbed her down thoroughly before swiping at his own wet chest and tucking the towel around his waist. He used a dry towel to wrap her up, and then herded her from the bathroom. “Alex…”

“Hush.”

She followed him into the main room and stood awkwardly, a stranger in her own home, while he locked the back door, checked the locks on the front and started a fire. The sudden light, after they’d spent a whole evening in darkness, seemed wrong in the room, and she cast a nervous glance at the window.

He noticed. “You’re sure he was alone?”

“If there is someone else out there, he doesn’t know about it. Did you check the phone?”

“When I got you the whiskey. Still dead.” Finished with the fire, he stood and pulled the blanket off the bed before he walked toward her with a determined glint. “Drop the towel. I want to get you warm.”

Uncaring of her modesty, she tossed the towel aside. The chill touched her for an instant before he wrapped the extra blanket around her. As if she weighed nothing, he picked her up in his arms again and sat down with her in the armchair. She didn’t protest, only snuggled closer. “I can’t seem to stop shaking. It’s not because I’m cold, I think.”

“Have you ever fired a gun at another person?”

“No.”

“First time I had to fire a gun, you’d have thought I had palsy. It’s a natural reaction. I’d be amazed if you could just laugh it off.”

“I can’t believe I shot a man.” How could she have thought she could just kill a man and walk away?

“We’re in perfect agreement, then. I can’t believe it either. In fact, I can’t believe you left me sleeping here and waltzed out there all by yourself with one measly shotgun against God knew how many bad guys.”

His arms had grown tighter around her with every word he spoke. He hadn’t raised his voice, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out he wasn’t too happy. She kept her tone mild. “I know it wasn’t the smartest move. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I figured I could track the person by their energy and take them out that way. Otherwise, we were just sitting targets, Alex. We had to do something.”

“And you couldn’t include me in your plan, why?”

“Be honest. Would you have let me go out there, even if you were with me?” He didn’t speak. “See? I had to do something. I couldn’t stand the thought that someone was playing with us like that.” She couldn’t stand the thought of him getting hurt.

“I thought it was because of what I told you. I thought you figured I was useless.”

Her heart caught at the naked shame in his voice. “Because of your PTSD? No! That wasn’t the reason at all.” She hesitated. “I admit, I did have some half-baked idea that I’d be able to better handle violence than you, but…” She wrinkled her nose. “Since you were the one who was willing to leave the guy to bleed out, and I had to go and get all girlie on you and help the villain, I guess that isn’t the case.”

“You do realize I worked narcotics in New York, don’t you?” he asked, his tone dry. “Drug dealers don’t settle their differences with a handshake and a cup of tea. I burned out because I lost someone I loved, not because I faint at the sight of blood.”

She grinned, sheepish. “Yeah. I didn’t really think of that. I think I went a little crazy when I saw your aura for the first time. That’s all I can claim. It’s so pure, and I figured since I was already…tarnished, I should be the one to do the deed.”

“I don’t understand this aura business very well, but I can tell you that I’m not a particularly pure or blameless person.” When he turned his head to face her, Genevieve recoiled from the stranger facing her. Alex’s expression was unemotional and flat. “I really don’t care if Leonie dies. The only reason I let you heal him was because you seemed to need it. I wanted him to die when he was out there terrorizing us. The fact that he watched us making love…” Alex’s jaw clenched. “I want him to burn in hell for that.”

A full body shiver ran though her. Frankly, she was a bit freaked out by this side of her sweet, happy-go-lucky lover. “Um, yes, well. I figured out fast I’m a pretty weak assassin. Next time, you totally get to play the hero.” Her lips twisted. “I…I figured I was so beyond redemption it didn’t even matter.”

“Why would you think that?”

She looked down at her hands. “You know how I said I couldn’t have a third death on my conscience?”

“Yeah, that was interesting. Tell me about that.”

Her mouth felt like the filter had been removed. She had no choice but to tell him, to make him understand. “Three years ago, I came home for a surprise visit. Two police cruisers were parked out front.”

Alex’s arms tensed around her, as if he could sense what was coming and wanted to stop it.

“I slipped around from out back. Your predecessor and two of his deputies were just leaving. They didn’t see me and I heard one of the deputies ask what would happen if the witch told she’d been raped. Bainsworth said no one would believe her anyway, and they were the law, so who cared. The other man was mad and said that he didn’t get a turn before she passed out. The chief clapped him on the back and said there was always next time.” She faltered and he exhaled.

“I was so angry. It wasn’t fair, and I didn’t know how long it had been going on, and Mom had never said anything. To think of them raping her, when she was such a sweet, gentle woman, it made me so furious I couldn’t think. And I knew they were right, that they were protected, that nothing would happen to them and I…” She took a deep breath. “When they saw me, the deputies got scared, but Bainsworth didn’t seem to care. He laughed and started walking toward me, and I just…”

“What?” he prompted her when she faltered.

She turned stricken eyes on him. “I killed him.”

Alex’s tone was soft and reasonable. “He died seven months ago.”

“Because of me. I wanted to give him the most lingering, dignity-sucking death I could imagine.” She closed her eyes. “Do you understand? I gave him that tumor.”

His hands stopped caressing her back. She waited for his skepticism, or worse, his disgust. She tried to fill the silence. “I can’t just see auras; I can manipulate them on some level. Usually if someone’s injured, I can tweak the colors to aid in healing. I had never done the opposite before in my life, but looking at his smug face, this little switch in my mind tripped and I knew I held his life in my hand. I’d never felt so powerful, so drunk with power. I could see his aura and I could see exactly what I needed to manipulate to make him sick.

“He staggered back and his deputies caught him. They all looked so scared of little old me. I loved it. I was so excited, I didn’t even see my mother until she started screaming. I don’t even remember what she said to them, but they beat tracks out of there. Mom came up to me, still screaming, and slapped me. She’d never hit me before in my life. She grabbed my hand, and that’s the last thing I remember until I woke up a few hours later.”

Genevieve shuddered. “It was dark inside the cabin. Mom sat in the rocking chair, and I was lying on the bed. I felt terrible, but I was more concerned with the way she looked. Her face was bruised and bloody. I tried to get her to go to the hospital, but she wouldn’t listen, she just kept saying it was all too late.”

“Too late for what?”

“The balance. There’s always a balance. If I heal someone, I get hurt, at least for a little while. What they feel, times three. But I didn’t feel sick, so it took me a bit to figure out what she’d done. After that night, it was like everything I had inside of me had been burned away. I spent my entire life wanting to be normal, but when my power was gone…I felt empty.

“Mom got sick, real fast. I don’t know how she did it, but she took the rebound away from me and made it her own. Maybe that’s why I lost my abilities. I couldn’t heal her, I couldn’t help her. All I could do was watch while she died a little every day for two years, while the tumor in her ovaries spread through her entire body. So because I couldn’t control my anger, I killed my mother.

“She wasn’t a normal woman. She was simple, she hated being around other people. I should have stayed. I owed her. She didn’t just home-school me because she felt like it. It took her years to teach me to control my powers. I repaid her by leaving her here at the mercy of whoever happened to come along.”

“That’s quite the hair shirt you’ve been wearing there. It was tragic, yes, but I’d say a lot of that blame goes on those three grown men, not a young woman. What were their names?” His tone was very mild.

“Who?”

“You said Bainsworth was there with two other cops. Who were the deputies?”

She paused. “Carlyle was one. I heard that he died a couple years back in a car accident. I swear, I didn’t have anything to do with that,” she added hurriedly.

He squeezed her. “And the other?”

“Reynolds.”

“I always knew that guy was a little prick,” he growled. “But I’m glad he’s around so at least I can kill one of them myself.”

She twisted her neck around until she could see his face, surprised at the level of outrage there. “I don’t want him killed. He’s left me alone.”

“When I get back to town that little pissant is going to be lucky if he walks away with the beating of his life. I’ll have his job and his pension before I’m done. To terrorize an innocent woman and a child, turn your life upside down, completely isolate you, and then hide behind the law…” He shook his head.

She stroked his hand. Somewhere, she was amused that she was soothing him instead of the other way around. “You don’t have to do that for me. I’ve carved out a life for myself. The rumors spread and everyone left me alone.”

“I’d do it for anyone,” he said gruffly. “That you’re who you are only makes me want to do it a little more violently. Besides, this is no life, and you know it.”

Out of nowhere, giant tears pooled out of her eyes. Alex had a typical male reaction. “Hey now. Okay. I didn’t mean to slam your life.”

“It’s not that. You’re right. I hate it here. I thought I deserved it.”

“I like that.”

“What?”

“Thought. Past tense. You need to know you don’t deserve it.”

“My mother—”

“Would want this life for you?”

“It was
my
fault. If I had been here instead of off having fun in the first place, she would have been fine.”

Alex sighed. “That’s a lot of ifs. How ’bout this one? How do you know, if you hadn’t hurt Bainsworth, that he and his men wouldn’t have raped you? Killed both you and your mother?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but found herself stumped. That possibility had never crossed her mind.

“It was self-defense, honey. Your powers were the weapon you had, and you instinctively used them. Now, yeah, it sucks about your mother, but she was an adult. She made her choice.” He hugged her tight. “And I completely understand why she did it. Did you ever think that she might have felt like I do tonight? I led that asshole to your doorstep. It was my fault that you had to go out there with a gun and make the decision to shoot another human being. When I was in that shower with you, all I could think about was how I wished I could take that experience away from you and make it my own. When you look at it that way, how can you fault her at all for trying to mitigate the results? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do it for someone you lo—cared for.”

Genevieve pretended not to notice his slip. She made a fist and pressed it against her chest. “I still feel dirty. Logically, I know I’m not a killer.” She shuddered. “Tonight proves that. It’s hard to get past that sense of responsibility, though.”

Gentle teasing lined his face. “My mama’s a devout Catholic. I think you could give her lessons in guilt. I know you expect me to be disgusted or scared, but all I can feel is a bit of irritation that this was the big secret you’ve been hiding.”

Though she knew he was looking to get a rise out of her, she couldn’t help but bristle. “Being able to kill people with your thoughts is a damn big secret.”

He gave a shrug. “I guess. Here I thought you were going to tell me you used to be a man or something. That would have been something to get all emo over.”

She sniffed loudly. “Wow. Thanks.”

Alex laughed and enfolded her in his arms. She closed her eyes and snuggled closer. Nothing had ever felt so good in her life.

He unclenched her hand from where it rested against her heart. “You’re not dirty, or tarnished, or condemned, or anything else you want to call it.”

“You can’t see my aura.”

“You’re right. You know what, though? Us normal folk, we have to rely on things that aren’t magical sometimes. My parents always taught me to judge people on their actions. And every action I’ve seen from you so far has proven to me that you’re an amazing person who’s had a couple of tough breaks.”

“Once you go back to town and get away from these extraordinary circumstances—”

“I’ll still think you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

She stared at him, frustration and hope warring inside of her. “You just wait and see.”

“Why don’t we do that? A relationship between us isn’t impossible. You could come with me. Or not,” he added quickly when she tensed. “We could date, commute. Not everyone is like Bainsworth, Genevieve. I’m sure there are other people who care about you, like that grocer. And there’s no rule that says you have to give up everything and conform to my life. We can live anywhere in the world. Or I could come out here.”

Genevieve grinned. “Alex, I don’t think you’d do well as a hermit. You’re the type who needs people all around you. And I—I don’t know if I’m ready to leave here yet.”

He ignored the latter part of that statement. “Angel, I’d give up everyone in that town for you. I’ve never felt like this about another woman, like I’m in too deep to ever find my way out—and I’m willing to bet money you feel the same way.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he hugged her tighter. “Answer me this: would you really have had sex with any man who ended up on your floor?”

“No. My body’s pretty much been in deep freeze since the incident.”