Cado (16 page)

Lucian brought his large hand up to cover mine. He smiled faintly. “It’s not going to be pretty. Our past is steeped in tragedy. Even more than you know. And I’m afraid—I’m afraid despite everything that you won’t understand. That you’ll want to walk away from me.” His fingers tightened around mine. “And that’s something that I can’t allow. Now that I’ve tasted what it can be like with you—truly tasted it—I’ll do anything and everything to keep you.”

Sex really has a way of messing with the status quo. It wasn’t a good or bad thing, but a simple fact of life. Sex, the good kind anyway, has a way of skewing the mind to see things the way you want and not necessarily the way they really are. And sex with Lucian was always cataclysmic.

“I need to know, Lucian. It’s not an option. I thought we were beyond secrets. Weren’t you the one who wanted me to remember everything? What possibly could you be hiding that would change anything?”

Lucian’s lips pressed into a thin line and he frowned briefly. “Then you shall know.” His wings tightened around us, sucking the light from everything, tossing me into darkness once again. Sometimes it felt like I was making a home in the dark.

I watched Lucian, the version of him before he fell apparently, since his wings were gold tinged instead of black, as he stood in a field watching a woman. The woman looked familiar but as much as I searched my memories I couldn’t quite place her. I shrugged it off, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. Lucian merely observed as if invisible as the woman went about her day. She was hanging laundry on a line as sun streamed down into the field.

A second man appeared next to Lucian. He was dark to Lucian’s light, and yet their features were very similar. “Lucian.” The man inclined his head while following Lucian’s gaze. “What are you doing?” They spoke a language foreign to me but something allowed me to translate it in my mind to words I was familiar with, words that I could understand.

“I wish to observe these humans that father so greatly prizes. I want to know what makes them so special. I want to know why we must protect what is so clearly weak and fragile. Inferior.”

“Ah, I see. And what have you discovered so far, my brother?”

Lucian snorted. “Nothing, Michael. Many are beautiful, their form was not fashioned carelessly. It’s their substance that confuses me. They lack—they lack fire, maybe? Some essential part, I’m not quite sure, which is why I continue to study.”

Michael clapped Lucian on the back and smiled. “Does this particular human intrigue you?” He nodded in the direction of the woman who was still hanging laundry.

Lucian shook his head. “No. She is very beautiful. None could disagree. I find her pleasant to look at which makes my task more tolerable, and yet I find that she lacks substance of character. She is weak. She does not stand up for herself or have strength in convictions, if she even has convictions at all.”

“Humans are new, brother. They still have much to learn. It’s our job to help them along their way to the path of enlightenment.”

“But why? Why should we, the superior being, be expected to help such lowly creatures?”

Michael frowned. “It is not our place to judge, Lucian. We were the first made but first does not mean best. They have things that I envy.”

“Envy?”

“Yes, envy. They have free will.”

“We have free will.”

“No, not in the way that they do. And love. They can feel love in a manner that we cannot.”

Lucian scowled. “I love.”

“No brother, you do not love. Not the way that they can and do.”

Lucian waved Michael off with annoyance. “Leave me. I will watch in peace to see if I can understand this free will and love you speak of. I’m sure you are mistaken that either is something to be envied.”

Michael disappeared.

I felt like I was being drawn into Lucian’s mind. His inner thoughts were as clear to me as if he was saying them out loud. I temporarily forgot myself, I was so intrigued by the idea of knowing Lucian’s mind so intimately.

Things just got a whole lot more interesting.

Lucian

I watched for days, the woman I’d come to know as Leitha. I remained invisible to her and all those she interacted with. Her life was…unexceptional. She was simple. I was still no closer to finding the answers I sought about humans than when I had started my quest. Or maybe that was their appeal for father? Maybe my kind was too perfect. Maybe he sought to be entertained by the bumbling way humans went through their everyday existence. But who was I to question? I simply sought to understand my new purpose. With understanding would come better service of my job.

“Leitha! Leitha!” A woman, similar in features and build to Leitha, clearly younger, burst into the small house. “Have you heard? Niko DeCastro has offered for your hand in marriage. Papa has accepted!”

“No!” Leitha whirled around, her dainty hand covering her mouth but not her horrified expression. “It cannot be! Nyssa, please, where did you hear this?”

Nyssa frowned, obviously expecting a different reaction. “I just saw Papa, he’s on his way back from town. He should be here any minute to tell you himself. I was so excited I ran ahead of him to tell you the good news myself.”

“Good news?” Leitha dropped to her knees. “It’s not good news when I love Niko’s brother, Tonio. Niko only wishes to marry me because of his brother.”

“You love Antonio DeCastro? Tell Papa, he—”

“It won’t matter,” Leitha said. “Niko is rich. Papa will force me to marry him. Tonio being the youngest son has no fortune to speak of, he has no hopes to compete for my hand.”

Nyssa shook her head slowly. “No. You cannot marry Niko if you love his brother. If Papa doesn’t understand then we will make him.”

Something sparked in this Nyssa’s eyes. It was the first time I’d seen her and I idly wondered where she’d been since she was Leitha’s sister. Nyssa wasn’t as fair in form as her sister, but there was a fire within her that intrigued me. It was a fire that other humans seemed to lack. Nyssa was different than any I’d observed before her. For the first time since I’d begun watching Leitha, I was interested, truly interested to see what would happen next. How would Nyssa make their father see that her sister should be permitted to marry Tonio instead of Niko? Humans, on the whole were motivated by money, greedy creatures that they were. Leitha and Nyssa’s father was no different.

The sound of horses approaching drew both girls’ heads in the direction of the front door to their home. Nyssa bit her lip and narrowed her eyes. “I’ll take care of this, Leitha. Please, don’t worry.”

Leitha swiped at the tears that were rolling down her youthful cheeks. “You are too good to me, Nyssa. Sometimes I forget that you are my younger sister.”

A small grin cracked Nyssa’s serious façade for a moment before she seemed to steel herself. She moved towards the front door with determination in every movement she made. The door swung open to reveal the girls’ father. I recognized him from my days spent watching Leitha. Again I wondered where Nyssa had been.

“Leitha!” the large middle-aged man bellowed with cheer. “I have good news for our family! I have—”

“Papa! You must listen to me!” Nyssa interrupted, provoking a frown from her father. “You mustn’t make Leitha marry Niko, she loves his brother, Tonio.”

Her father’s face clouded over. “What is this you speak of? Love? Nonsense. Leitha will marry Niko and all will rejoice. It’s a wonderful match that will benefit both of our families.”

“No,” Leitha said, her voice wavering. “Please, Papa, I beg of you.”

“Beg? You beg of me? You will marry Niko!” The man stalked towards his eldest daughter, his hand raised with furry.

“No!” Nyssa screamed as she threw herself in front of her sister. “Do not punish her! I am the one who told her that you would understand. She means not to defy you.”

The man hesitated as he eyed his other daughter who stood feet spread apart with a defiant ire about her. “And why would you tell her such fantastical stories, my dear Nyssa?”

“Because, Papa, I love my sister and want her to be happy. I thought you would too.”

The man’s face softened and he stepped away from the sisters. “I do want your sister to be happy, and she will be with Niko. She will get over her fanciful delusions that love alone can make one happy. Love doesn’t put food on one’s table or a roof over one’s head.” Leitha stood and ran for the front door. She left it open as she fled, sobs wracking her slight frame.

“Let her go, Papa. She needs to mourn Tonio.”

The man shook his head in disgust. “Sometimes I forget how young women can be so ridiculous.”

“Yes, we aren’t as smart as we need to be sometimes.” Nyssa agreed, but I could see the anger burning behind her eyes. She didn’t mean what she was saying. She was not simple like her sister. She was interesting…very interesting indeed.

I began following Nyssa. I couldn’t seem to resist. Her soul burned brighter than any human I had come into contact with thus far. She was so alive, so fiery with passion that I began to feel…duller when not around her. I found myself smiling when she did and angering when she was unhappy. Leitha being forced to marry Niko was a great source of pain in Nyssa’s life. She wanted to help her sister but had exhausted all efforts.

All except one.

I lingered nearby as Nyssa knelt at the top of a hill, late at night, gazing up at the starry sky. She clasped her hands together and began her pleading. I’d heard many human prayers for help over my already long life. Too many to count. I thought I knew what was to come…

And again Nyssa surprised me. She begged not for her sister’s situation to be magically fixed, no. Instead she asked for the wisdom to figure out how to fix it herself. She only wanted to be steered in the direction of where she might be able to help her sister best. She didn’t expect anyone to fix her and her sister’s problems for them. She merely needed assistance. It was not the weak and sniveling human way I’d come to expect. It was admirable…and so much like my own kind.

Nyssa was special. I could see it fully now. The existence of one such as her made up for the rest of her kind. I wished to protect her above all others. I wished to keep her from all pain. Something inside of me was changing. I wanted to be near Nyssa always, I wanted to know her and for her to know me.

Impulsively I made myself visible to her. She gasped out before falling backwards to land in the dirt. I rushed to pick her up, not happy that I’d frightened her. “Please, do no fear me. I only wish to help.”

“Are—are you an angel?” she asked.

“Yes.” I didn’t know what to say to her. I was suddenly tongue tied under her scrutiny. Would she want to know me like I wanted to know her?

She stood and dusted herself off. “Good, we have a matter to discuss then.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Nyssa deserved more than her human heritage. Her soul burned too brightly to be encased in such a fleeting form. She would be aged and dead before I knew it. That thought displeased me immensely. It constricted my chest in a manner I was unfamiliar with.