Cake Love: All Things Payne (12 page)

Chapter 1

Morgana's Problem: Her Big Idea

"So that's all I am to you? Now that we will both be fired, you want nothing to do with me? Is that it Morgana?"

Henrik stands and walks around his modern wood-grained desk, his body hovering over mine. He is so close I can feel the heat from our earlier activity rolling off him, but I can't bring myself to look up. Everything is crashing down on me all at once. The realization that we hid and covered up all that we had done together, a lie I believed. I actually thought that my employers looked past my discrepancies because I was too valuable of a worker to let go. I was so wrong.

Now I feel foolish. To gaze up into Henrik’s oceanic gaze would burn that naivety into my head like a searing brand. Instead of wearing a scarlet A, I would don a frosted D for dunce, because everything goes better with frosting.

I steady my eyes on the stupid gray carpet that seems endless. Perhaps if I stare hard enough it will speak to me like everything else. Hello carpet? It's me, Morgana, I need a little help.

Nothing.

Great, so the one time I really need help from my subconscious to speak to me as an inanimate object, it’s silent. Fine! Two can play at that game.

I glare at the carpet and then lift my chin, huffing at it. That's when I realize Henrik is still staring at me, now leaning on the edge of his desk, arms folded. His rumpled blue suit and askew yellow tie combined with his disheveled coffee-colored hair, has my stomach doing somersaults all over again.

What is happening here? I want to hop up from this chair and embrace him. Snuggle into his warm, firm chest and forget any of this is happening, but I can't. It's time to admit we both fucked up. Our jobs disintegrated before our eyes because of our libido. I really need to start thinking with my brain instead of my vagina.

“
I’m serious this time, no more decision making for you, Vagina.”

Vagina bats her eyelashes at me and raises her hands in shock.

“I have no idea what you are referring to Morgana? I am not solely to blame.”
Vagina glares at Heart, who sneers at Vagina and lunges toward her.

“You bitch I’m going to…”
I barely hear the muffled cries of Vagina as Heart attacks her.

Great, so not only is my job over, my relationship with my boyfriend disintegrating, but now my organs are reenacting the Hunger Games. I sigh, knowing the worst is yet to come. Looking into Henrik’s cloudless blue eyes, I shudder knowing what has to be done.

"No Henrik. I do care for you; it's just that maybe if we break up we might be able to salvage our jobs. Perhaps if we tell the Mimir brothers my idea about the distribution in Europe, but claim we came up with it together, we can keep our jobs. I did talk to Evaleen about it last night, but I can just tell her I forgot to mention you helped me with it. That way we can keep our jobs, but we promise not to see each other romantically anymore." I try to sound positive even though I'm not sure the Mimir brothers will accept it. Even if they did, I don't know how I will be strong enough to stay away from Henrik.

I steady my gaze on him in hopes to find some understanding or strength to help, but his eyes don't move. It’s freaky actually, as if he became a statue for a full minute. I don't even know if he is breathing.

"Henrik?" I stand to touch his shoulder but he flinches from the contact. At least I know he's alive.

"Don’t." He sighs and turns his head.

Nothing. Silence.

After a minute, he trudges to the other side of his desk. Henrik's hand grasps the top drawer as he begins to shimmy it but it's stuck, as usual. I walk over to help him.

"Here let me help..."

He cuts me off by swatting my hand away. "I can do this myself Ms. Drake!"

His tone is low, but powerful. I have only heard him talk like that once before when I overheard his conversation with the doctor who operated on Tiffany's son, David. He was angry, very angry then. Now I feel like I’m the doctor telling him that our relationship is in a coma.

The drawer opens and he takes out a piece of gum. His minty crutch. After a few chews Henrik visibly relaxes. What is in that gum? Maybe I need some. I reach into the drawer to pull out a piece, unwrap it, and pop it in my mouth. After a few bites, I can safely say that it is not heroin infused gum like I originally thought, but wintergreen. Well, at least it's good to know he isn't addicted to drugs and hiding it through his strange gum consumption.

Henrik slams the drawer and turns to me, stretching out his hand to shake.

"Well, it's been fun. Thanks for contributing to the ruin of my life. At least the sex was good."

What the fuck?

"Excuse me? Get your fucking hand away from me!" I slap it aside and he rolls his eyes.

"That's it. You said it yourself; we shouldn't see each other. What’s important here are our jobs, so we have to look at this like business partners. In business, we shake on it and talk about the good and bad, without getting emotionally involved. You should know this Ms. Drake if you want to have a chance at ever being an executive in a company."

He is smirking while folding his arms over his chest.

"You are a dick, you know that? I'm not happy that all this happened. It's not like I want to end this Henrik."

“Ah, that’s Mr. Payne to you, Ms. Drake.” There it is. He's back. The boss I first met all those months ago. The cold, unfeeling man who would rather spend the night researching historical data on marketing strategies and consumer sales growth patterns than having a normal adult conversation.

I don't like this Henrik. This Henrik can go to hell.

"Fuck you Mr. Payne!"

I turn and walk out his office door and straight for the elevators, hoping I never see that Henrik ever again. Once the lift doors close, my burning face scrunches as I try to push the tears back. Despite my anger, his words he spoke only a half hour ago keep floating around in my mind, “I love you.” I shake my head trying to make them disappear but it only worsens. The haunting image of his disappointed eyes when I didn’t respond to him after he proclaimed his love causes my heart to crack as tears begin to stream down my cheeks.

How can he love me and then so easily treat me like nothing, like I’m only his assistant when we are discovered? For that moment, when he said he loved me, I was shocked. I needed to know if he meant those words and it wasn’t just hormones raging through his body from sex. I wanted to talk to him about our feelings for each other afterward, preferably after work when we would have the privacy and levelheadedness we needed.

Only that never happened.

The doors swing open and I stomp my feet over the smooth beige tile floor of the lobby and push through the glass front door onto the street. I don’t look back as I make my way to the El train to head home. I wanted to stay with the Henrik who asked me about the movie I watched while making fun of my cake consumption, but he is fleeting. This cold, demanding Henrik I am quite happy to leave behind.

*****

Okay, so I really tried to leave Henrik back at Mimir, but it’s extremely hard not to think about him. He consumed my head last night even as I indulged at the best bakery in Chicago, Got Cake. I replayed yesterday over and over again. I felt guilty for leaving him after he professed his love while shoving cream cheese frosted red velvet cake in my mouth. Then I did a one eighty and thought,
“So what if I left? Henrik has done it to me so many times, especially after sex. It's about time he got a taste of his own medicine.”
Needless to say, I spattered crumbs everywhere. It wasn’t pretty.

This man has walked out on me right after sex multiple times; he’s toyed with my emotions and vagina as if he’s a five-year-old and I’m his favorite racecar. Not only that, but he lied to me. L-I-E-D! Lied to ME! Not telling me that the Mimir brothers never found out about the time Evaleen walked in on us or how I got fired from RT Mitchell is basically lying to me. Sure, he did it to help get my job back and save me major embarrassment from my co-workers and higher ups, but that’s not the point. The point is he lied.

So it isn't the worst thing he could do to me. And he did admit that he loved me, for which I didn't respond. You see the cycle I keep creating for myself?

I should have said something now that I think more about it, not left him hanging like that. Shit, I'm terrible aren't I? Here I am, riding up the elevator with an empty box I managed to snag from my favorite bakery to clear out my desk, and this is the moment I realize what a terrible shit I really am? It took me a full day to come to this conclusion? I need cake.

"Cake, that's the answer to everything isn't it Morgana?"
My Brain smirks at me.

"I have had just about enough out of you. Where were you yesterday when I really needed you, Brain? Nowhere! How convenient it is that my love life and my job are ruined and NOW you decide to return? Thanks, thanks a lot!

The door dings as the elevator opens to let on a man and woman. They smile at me, but continue their conversation in hushed tones so I can't hear them as the lift begins to rise again.

"I have warned you many a time Morgana that sleeping with your boss would not end well, but you never listen to me. Now you have nothing. The least I can do is help you rebuild. Maybe Radio Shack is hiring."
Brain rubs her squiggly chin in contemplation.

"You’re joking, right? I am not working at Radio Shack. No offense to them, I am sure it's a great place, but I was just the assistant to the Vice President of a multi-billion dollar company. I am not going to work for minimum wage at any place that has the word ‘shack’ in the title,"
I whisper yell, turning my head toward the wall as not to arouse suspicion from my elevator companions. I glance back to see they are still in the throes of their conversation.

"Oh, well, I didn't realize you have gone all high and mighty on me. If that's the case, we really have to buckle down once we get home and figure out what is going to happen. Because, in the past almost five months, you have gotten yourself fired not once, not twice, but three times -- twice from the same company --  for having sex. While that is certainly impressive, I just don't know how we can spin that in an interview."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I bellow out,
"Fuck you Brain!"

I open my eyes when I hear the elevator open and see the couple staring at me slack jawed before they scramble out whispering and pointing at me as they go. Now there are two more people I can add to the list who think I am crazy.

After the door closes a moment later, the elevator lands on my floor. I push my shoulders back and pray that I don't run into anyone as I clear out my desk, especially the Mimir brothers. I just want to get my stuff and go. I turn the corner and see my desk just as the smell assaults me. The Brooks Bomb. How could I forget?

I guess this is my punishment for letting my vagina make decisions for me.

"It was worth it Morgana. So worth it,"
Vagina flaps her lips at me.

"For you maybe Vagina, but you don't have a nose. I am the one who has to smell this shit...literally!"

"Oh my god; Drake are you still talking to your body parts? I thought for sure if you finally got laid, you would stop doing that. I guess Payne just isn't that good in the sack. Figures."

I turn my head to see Evaleen walking up behind me. Ugh, one of the last people I wanted to see today. She called me all day yesterday and most of this morning. Of course I have been ignoring her calls, because who in their right mind wants to hear from their friend, and more importantly HR Manager, that they are being fired for getting busy with their boss on office furniture during business hours.

I cringe and shuffle off to my desk to place the box down.

"I'm nervous Evaleen. It's not like I really want to be here. Everyone has a nervous tick. Some people fidget, others eat copious amounts of food; I talk to my body parts. It’s soothing, it helps me figure things out. You should try it sometime."

Looking up, I see her hold back a laugh and shake her head. "Uh, no thanks. I think I will stick with normal things like twirling my hair or biting my lip."

I lean back on my desk and look over at the bathroom door hoping the stench dissipates quickly.

"You don't do any of those things Evaleen."

Evaleen backs up so she is standing in Henrik's doorway, most likely to avoid the aroma around us, while folding her arms over her chest.

"I know. That's because I am never nervous."

I lift a brow while pursing my lips. "Never? Really?"

She clears her throat and her eyes fall to the floor. "Well, I'm not here to talk about being nervous, I am here to talk about yesterday."

Damn, I thought I had successfully distracted her. I might as well get this over with. Pushing myself off the desk, I bring the box to the other side of my desk and start to clear out the drawers.

"Let me just clear out my desk and then I can come over to your office to fill out any paperwork you need from me. It should only take me a few minutes."

The box is starting to get heavy as I place items in it from the drawers, so I move it on to the desk and crouch down to dig in the bottom drawer. I can hear Evaleen walk up beside me, but continue my focus on the large object that is stuck at the back of the drawer. I keep yanking at it, wondering what I put back there that would be stuck.