California Romance (10 page)

By supreme self-control Sarah refrained from tearing the wedding garments from her body and throwing them in the dressmaker’s smug face when the woman purred, “What a beautiful bride you will be,
ma cherie
” in an accent as artificial as her smile. Sarah turned away. She had avoided looking at her mirrored image, but curiosity got the better of her. How would she look in bridal white should God someday send a man to love, honor, and cherish her? Not married wearing this lavish, pearl-beaded gown but in a modest white dress that did not silently shout its cost.

Sarah faced the full-length mirror. Her mouth fell open. Costly the gown might be but how it flattered her strawberry blond hair, shining blue eyes, and the color in her blazing cheeks! A small smile trembled on her lips, adding the one factor needed to make the vision perfect. If only Matthew Sterling could see her in this gown!

Sarah closed her eyes and allowed herself the luxury of a dream. What would it be like to walk up the aisle of a church in Madera in step with her brother? To see dark-haired Matthew Sterling, tall, strong, and straight, waiting for her? To watch love and wonder spring into his eyes when he first caught sight of her—the same love and wonder that filled her heart and overflowed into the joyous occasion? To hear the time-honored words,
“
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to unite this man and this woman in holy matrimony. Marriage is ordained of God….”?

Not this marriage!

Had she spoken aloud? No. The dressmaker was busily straightening a fold of the ostentatious train of the gown.

Sarah shuddered, but the picture of what a wedding could and should be had started a train of thoughts that could not be derailed. How she would welcome the opportunity to love and cherish a man such as Matt Sterling! Like Ruth in the Bible, she would unhesitatingly
say, “Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.”
Unlike marriage with Tice, she would not be unequally yoked. What she’d learned about Matt from Seth’s secret letters had convinced her that Matt Sterling was a true Christian.

Her thoughts trooped on, repeating the majestic promises in the wedding service:

“For better. For worse. For richer. For poorer. In sickness. In health. Mutually agreeing to be companions. Forsaking all others. Keeping themselves for each other as long as they both should live.”
And finally
“Whom God hath joined together
,
let no man put asunder.”
How did anyone dare take those vows lightly, only to break them as Gus had done…and as Sarah knew in her heart Tice would do?

“Does
mademoiselle
wish me to remove the gown?”

The dressmaker’s question jerked Sarah from her wool-gathering. Her dream crumpled. It was highly unlikely that Matthew Sterling or someone like him would ever see Sarah Joy Anderson in a wedding dress. Worse, if her escape plan failed, only her miserable stepfamily, Tice Edwards, and his cohorts would gloat over the vision she had seen in the mirror. Depression filled her. Was this how maidens of old felt when forced into loveless marriages by domineering fathers desirous of forming strong alliances? Sarah’s heart ached for all those denied the chance for true love and sacrificed on the altars of greed.

“Please take the dress off,” she quietly said, ignoring the woman’s babble and wishing only to slip into her own clothing.

When Sarah reached home, another two hours had passed. Now only nine of the eighteen remained. The relentless
tick tock, tick tock
of the clock greedily nibbled away at the day. It reminded Sarah of the “Grandfather’s Clock” song that had come out a few years earlier. The chorus rang in Sarah’s head:

“I won’t be ninety, and my body won’t die if I have to marry Tice Edwards, but my life will stop short,” Sarah grimly told herself. “I feel like my seconds are being numbered, just like the grandfather’s were.”

Matthew 6:34 popped into her mind:
“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

In spite of her troubled heart Sarah couldn’t help smiling. Today’s evil was more than sufficient! The scripture cheered her up, and she resumed her duties with a lightened heart—until someone knocked on the door. Now what?

The “what” proved to be two fashionably dressed, strange women.

“Miss Anderson, we just
had
to come and call,” one gushed.

“Yes,” said the other. “Dear Mr. Edwards said you might appreciate our help, since you lost your dear mother so recently. So sad, just before your wedding.” Her laugh grated like broken glass.

“Mama isn’t lost,” Sarah quietly said. “She’s gone to heaven.” She swallowed the words:
And there would be no wedding if she were here
.

The women gasped as if Sarah had shown bad taste in speaking so. “Oh yes, of course,” the gusher said. “Now what can we do? Last-minute arrangements and all that.”

Sarah laughed. What would they think if they knew her “last-minute arrangements” consisted of packing what she could carry and fleeing from “dear Mr. Edwards” like a rabbit from a hound? “You’re too kind.”
As in kind of nosy
. “Thank you for coming, but things are in control.”
In control of my heavenly Father
. “Now if you will excuse me…”

“Oh, to be sure. Come, Estelle.” Clearly disappointed, the gusher took her friend’s arm and sailed across the unkempt yard with a disapproving sniff that showed what she thought of “dear Mr. Edwards’s” choice of a wife.

Sarah closed the door, leaned against it, and laughed until tears flowed. Taking advantage of an empty house, she raced to the attic. Gus and the children, perhaps even Tice, might appear at any time. She didn’t know where they were, and she didn’t care whether they were in school or playing hooky. Either way, one more day wouldn’t make a difference.

She hastily gathered her things. The need to leave Seth’s “treasures” behind saddened her. Sarah discarded most of her own as well—but not all. She took the tattered copy of
Little Women
Seth had found on the docks and her mother’s worn dressing gown. The little wooden pistol Seth loved went into her reticule. She and her brother would at least have those reminders of their once-happy home.

Sarah feared the money her mother had hoarded for her wouldn’t be enough for a quick trip west by rail. It seemed unwise to plunk down all she had in the world. She must count her pennies carefully, even if it took weeks or months to reach California. Perhaps she could find work along the way. She was pretty sure her stepfather would have no idea where she was headed. Sarah and her mother had taken great pains to keep Seth’s location a secret.

When the clock struck midnight, Sarah slipped from her cot, praying the rustle of husks wouldn’t awaken Ellie or the boys. The plan of escape hinged on Sarah’s being able to sneak out undetected. With a silent prayer she began her long journey to freedom.

S
arah crept down the ladder from the loft and into the brooding St. Louis night, thankful when it closed around her and muffled her light footsteps. She started down the road toward Jefferson City, clutching her heavy carpetbag in one hand, her reticule in the other.

It was the longest night of Sarah’s life, a night that taught her the true meaning of 1 Thessalonians 5:17: “Pray without
ceasing.”
She jumped at the slightest sound. Passing hoofbeats drove her into hiding every few hours. “Lord, I know this is what You want me to do,” she whispered. “I know You will be with me. But I’m still frightened. It is so far to California. Please help me be strong and not afraid.”

The rising wind whisked away Sarah’s prayer and fluttered the long cloak she had donned over her mother’s worn, but still serviceable, Sunday-go-to-meeting dress. Sarah shivered and pulled the cloak closer, thankful both it and the dress were dark blue. With dark gloves, Virginia Anderson’s old black hat pulled low, and a thick dark veil hiding her face, Sarah was next to invisible. Why, then, did concern over what Gus would do if he realized she had escaped haunt her? Every shifting shadow, every night noise set her heart pounding until it felt like it would burst.

A horrible screech from a nearby tree sent Sarah into a panic. She began to run, thankful for the few stars that broke through the murk to light her way. The unseen culprit screeched again. This time the flapping of wings followed.

Sarah stopped short. “You noisy bird,” she told the owl that glided over her head. “Go on with your hunting. I’m too big to be your prey.” She laughed softly. “Sarah Joy Anderson, if a stupid bird can scare you, how will you ever survive in California? There will be a lot more terrifying things there than a silly old hooting owl.”

Not as terrifying as staying in St. Louis
.

The thought dried up Sarah’s laughter like drought parched a prairie. Nothing the unknown West might have in store for her could be more threatening than the horror of having to marry Tice Edwards.

Step-by-step, Sarah’s shabby shoes carried her away from the gambler and her stepfather. In an effort to stem the nightmare image they conjured up, she began repeating scripture. A wave of gratitude filled her once more, as it had done all through her ordeal. Gratitude that John and Virginia Anderson had instilled in their children a love for the Bible and its promises from the time Seth and Sarah were born. Each verse from the psalms that Sarah murmured in the semidarkness quieted her troubled spirit. She ended by reciting: “ ‘In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried to my God: and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry into his ears.’ ”

When no more verses came to mind, Sarah fought the darkness surrounding her by softly singing hymns. Each brought comfort, most of all the hymn her mother had always sung when things with Gus became unbearable. Now, although Sarah kept her voice so low it didn’t even carry to the treetops, the much-loved words came straight from her heart:

Sarah’s voice broke. A river of tears crowded behind her eyes. Eden itself could be no more wonderful than reaching California and Seth. Her heart swelled, and she bowed her head. “There’s a long, hard road ahead of me before I get to Madera. Please go before me and open the way.” She took a deep breath. “I want to trust You, no matter what happens.”

No peal of thunder answered Sarah’s prayer. No bolt of lightning illuminated the road. But a still, small voice whispered deep inside,
“I will not only walk before you, Sarah Joy. I will walk beside you: your Savior, companion, and friend.”

Tears gushed. “Thank You, God,” she fervently said. “I needed to be reminded like Elijah in the Bible. Your presence wasn’t in the strong wind or the great earthquake but in the still, small voice.” The still, small voice that spoke to Sarah’s heart did what nothing else could accomplish. It increased her determination to throw herself totally on God’s mercy and let Him take charge. Each step took her farther from Gus and Tice. Each hour meant that much more time before they raised a hue and cry over her absence.

By morning Sarah had traveled a goodly piece. However, lack of sleep had begun to take its toll. She ate sparingly from her small supply of food and drank from a nearby spring. A little later a farmer in a mule-driven wagon stopped beside her.

“Need a ride, miss?” he called.

Sarah looked into the farmer’s kindly face. The steadiness of his faded blue eyes and the creases many years of living had etched in his trustworthy face reassured her.

“Yes, thank you.” She climbed into the back of his wagon. She felt badly about not removing her veil but decided to leave it on. She
must not
be recognized in case Gus or Tice ever crossed paths with the old man. Surely they were searching for her by now, determined to make her go through with the wedding! Still, how could they know where she was? She had confided in no one and left no trace of her destination. Thankful that, although the farmer looked curious, he asked no questions about why she was alone on the road at such an early hour, Sarah gratefully dozed off and didn’t rouse until he said, “Wake up, miss. This is where I turn off the main road.” He pointed. “My farm’s a mile or so down the lane.”

He paused and looked worried. “Wish I could take you farther, but lots o’ folks travel this way. You’re sure to get another ride soon.”

It seemed shabby not to give any explanation so Sarah said, “Thank you for the ride. I’m going to see my brother.” Somewhat refreshed from her nap, she jumped from the wagon and reclaimed her meager possessions.