California Woman (Daughters of the Whirlwind Book 1) (54 page)

During the twenty-mile ride south from
San Francisco in Ralston's coach, Esther decided to move back to Carter's
house, at least until the railroad was completed. By then Todd would be old
enough to understand a permanent separation. She had just decided to sell her
Sacramento property but keep the house in San Francisco, when the coach pulled
around a bend and Belmont absorbed all her attention.

The coach rolled across a miniature
bridge, and its weight triggered a mechanical system that opened massive gates
to the courtyard outside the mansion. Built along the lines of an Italian
country villa, the house itself seemed large enough to hold several sailing
ships. Ralston greeted her at the enormous front door.

"Well, how do you like it?"
Eagerly, he ushered her into a vaulted entranceway brightened by skylights.

"It—leaves me speechless."

"One hundred twenty-five rooms, last
time I counted. That ought to be enough guest space for a rollicking weekend,
wouldn't you say?"

Esther glanced at the long stairway and balcony
railings, then all the doorknobs within sight. They were made of silver.
Ralston pushed open a pair of etched glass-doors and led her by the hand into
his ballroom. It was large enough to house one of San Francisco's three-story
granite buildings.

Esther could no longer hold her tongue.
"Don't you think this is all a bit extravagant, Billy?"

They were standing in the middle of the
ballroom, and Ralston looked up, his eyes sweeping across an expanse of
ceiling. "It's only money, Esther. What good is it if you don't spend it?
You could build a house like this now. Do you know what you're worth?"

"I read your last report."

"Add another quarter-million dollars
to that, Esther. Sharon continues to work his miracles."

"I wouldn't exactly describe what he
does in religious terms, Billy." She decided not to comment any further.
She knew how much Ralston gave away, the considerable sums he had donated to
the city for public works, the orphanage. "But that's your business,"
she went on. "And his." She girded herself. "Billy, what I'm
about to say has nothing to do with Sharon, or you personally. I hope you
understand that. But I think it's time for me to liquidate."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

Ralston thought for a moment, then
beamed. "All right. I see no problems with that. It's about time you
enjoyed some of that money, anyway."

"I'd like to place it all in trust
for my son."

"That can easily be arranged."

"Can it be held in the bank's name?
After all, Bill Kelsey is sixty-eight now, and with Alex gone…"

For a moment, Esther thought she saw a
slightly amused, somewhat devilish look in Ralston's eyes. But he quickly
turned away, and, as he went on, she forgot it.

"I'll set it up so you can draw from
the account, as well. Anytime you wish."

She took one of Ralston's hands.
"Thank you, Billy. I was so certain you'd take a dim view of all
this."

"But why?" He laughed. "It
will give me the opportunity to buy your stocks and get even richer. Now, on to
more important things. You
will
stay the weekend?"

"I haven't brought anything.
I—"

"That's no problem either. My wife
will find some suitable things. I won't hear of you not staying. You'll spoil
my surprise."

"Can't we just have lunch? Can't you
just surprise me now?"

Ralston walked over to a window and
reached for a bellpull. "Impossible. It has to be tonight. At the dinner
dance."

"Dance? Billy, I
can't
—"

"Come on now, Esther. Please. Don't
spoil it for for me. Haven't I always done everything you've asked? You'll love
it. You'll have more fun than you've ever had in your life. You've got to start
living, Esther."

"All right," she said,
relenting, tempted by the idea of 'living.' "But remember, I'm a married
woman."

"No
one said anything about romance. Just dancing, good company, and good fun. And
none of your veiled-hat business. It just won't do." He looked at his
watch, took her arm, and they walked back to the swinging doors. "My wife
should be making one of her grand descents down the stairs by now. She'll take
you to the room we picked. And for God's sake, don't fill the tub up. It's five
feet deep. I don't want you drowning before you have had the most pleasant
shock of your life."

Esther stood watching the hundred-odd
guests who had arrived during the afternoon. Half of them were dancing to the
light strains of a violin ensemble Ralston had installed in a bandbox over in
one corner of the ballroom. At first she was self-conscious without a veil in
so much company. But after Ralston and Kelsey introduced her to a dozen people,
and they took no notice of her nose, she began feeling at ease. Now, as Bill
and Connie Kelsey waltzed by, she experienced a wave of delight, just watching.
She had begun living again, just as she'd planned.

A tall man she'd been introduced to asked
her to dance. She declined at first, but when he came back a second time, she
mustered her courage, began awkwardly, then quickly put into smooth practice
the simple steps she'd learned as a girl. By the time the number soared to a
close, she was swept up in the rhythm, the sound, the sentimental meaning of
the lyrics, and a sense of pleasure so foreign to her it made her slightly
light-headed. When the music ended, the gentleman bowed, then turned as they
both heard Ralston clap for attention halfway across the floor.

He was standing precariously on the low,
flower-bedecked trellis fence surrounding the musicians.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, your
attention, please!" Ralston glanced down to his left at someone. He broke
into a broad grin as a number of people near him turned and began buzzing in
astonishment.

Esther stood up on her toes, but her view
of who or what had caused the commotion was blocked.

"Back, ladies and gentlemen,"
Ralston shouted, "from the horrors of the Rebellion, back from two years
in the abomination of Andersonville—and the even more torturous clutches of
buxom nurses at St. Simon's Hospital in Washington D.C.—back, ladies and
gentlemen, from the dead! I give you…
Judge Alexander Todd!
"

Ralston jumped down from his perch and
embraced Alex as the crowd around them parted, and, turning, they both walked
toward the center of the ballroom. Struck dumb, Esther watched as Alex shook
hands repeatedly, smiled, nodded, and then finally glanced her way. The smile
on his face froze grotesquely when he saw her. He stopped for a moment; then,
certain, he began pushing slowly through the clutch of well-wishers.

His
second step galvanized Esther. Panicked, she spun around and rushed toward the
doors of the ballroom. Almost knocking over an elderly man, she raced through
the entranceway and the foyer. Startling the butler, she pushed violently
through the front door. Cabs and carriages lined the courtyard driveway.
Running to the buggy nearest the open gates, she climbed up into the seat and
frantically snapped the reins. As the team of chestnuts clattered across the
decorative bridge, she glanced back. Alex stood alone in the doorway.

In the dim light just before dawn, the
sheets covering the furniture in her San Francisco house seemed like ghosts
from the past. She sat there on the couch, watching the open front door,
certain Alex would come sooner or later. She was calm now, as prepared as she
would ever be for the confrontation. Still, her hands trembled and she held her
knees together tightly as the buggy rolled around the circular driveway and
stopped. The pounding of her heart almost drowned out the sound of his
footsteps on the gravel.

He stood in the doorway for a moment,
ironically outlined in silhouette by the first rays of the sun. Then he slowly
walked in through the foyer, crossed the room, and sat down beside her. For a
minute he simply stared at her, the same look of utter disbelief locking his
features in place.

"It
is
you, isn't it?"
he whispered. "I'm not imagining this."

She dropped her eyes, hesitantly reached
out and laid a hand on his. "Alex… I… this is… the most difficult moment I
have ever known."

"Good God, it's almost too much to
bear! I am so confused. How? Why?" He put his hand to his forehead and
massaged his temples, as though that would help his brain function normally
again. "For a time," he finally said, "while I was in the field,
I… made believe that it was you." Tears welled in his eyes. "That
somehow you'd come back to me that night."

"I sensed that, in your
letters."

"But I…" He took out a
handkerchief and brushed at his eyes. "I finally knew, I
knew
I was
just dreaming, putting together coincidence, similarities. Out of
disappointment you'd married, loneliness, need… fear of dying out there… God, I
don't know."

"As you can see, your instincts were
right," she whispered.

"Then, in the prison camp, even
though I knew by then it was a fantasy, I built all my hope of surviving around
you—getting out, healing, getting better, coming home, finding you. I… lived
for a dream, another night like we spent together here. A dream I didn't know
was real the whole time."

"I've never stopped loving you,
Alex."

He took a deep breath. "That's hard
to believe, Elizabeth."

"I know it is. But it's true."

"That night? How could you
have—?"

"Because I loved you so much, I was
willing to risk discovery as well as giving you pain. With you sitting there,
next to me, I was simply overcome."

"Esther Cable. Esther Cable Carter.
Good sweet Jesus, I just don't understand."

"As much as I wanted that night
again, every night until eternity, I couldn't risk what it might do to you.
Risk what now has happened."

"But why didn't you come to me
after…" He suddenly thought of John Alexander. "The boy. Our
son…?"

She began to cry softly. "Our first
son. He died, Alex. In the mountains when…"

Conflicting emotions disorienting him, he
didn't realize what she had said. "
But why, damn it? Why didn't you
come back to me, tell me?
"

The look of confused, hurt, sudden anger
tore at her. For a moment she was so completely off guard she almost blurted all
of it out. But there was enough for him to accept as it was. She took both his
hands, bent over and laid her moistened cheek against them. "I was more
confused than you are right now. I was so…
ashamed
… I couldn't face you.
Can you understand that?"

"Ashamed? Many people, other
children, died."

"But my willfulness… was… a… factor
in… I made a tragic mistake.
I… helped cause John Alexander's death.
"

He stared at her, his features softening,
beginning to comprehend.

"And I couldn't face you," she
sobbed. "I felt I didn't deserve you anymore. Can you understand? And
then, as time passed, it became impossible to turn back."

"All these years, all the things
you've done for me. The South Fork Mine, all of it. You arranged
everything."

"I wanted to make things up to you
in a pitiably small way, wanted to be part of your life, even if you didn't
know it. It was all I had."

"God, it boggles the mind. I still
can't believe it's you, Elizabeth." He leaned over and tilted her face
upward.

"It isn't me anymore. It isn't
Elizabeth Purdy Todd. Look at me. Can you understand why I couldn't face you
looking the way I do?"

He brushed his fingertips tenderly across
her nose. "It's hardly noticeable."

"It was then."

"You're more beautiful now than you
were when we were married." He thought for a moment. "You're married.
Are you happy?"

"It's simply a marriage of
convenience. Nothing more. I plan to separate from him in time."

"But you have a son."

She started to tell him, but decided to
wait. "Alex, I married William Carter so I wouldn't be tempted to—"

"See me again?"

"Yes. Stripping it to the truth,
yes. There were… other considerations, a business arrangement. But, yes, that
is the main reason why I married him."

The anger was leaving him. In its place
he felt compassion for her. "I was married, too, Esther. You know
that."

She couldn't help herself. Tears
streaming down her face, she still had to laugh. "I was so
jealous
!
Did you know that I… well, I put the idea in Kelsey's head. To introduce the
two of you. Can you imagine?"

Alex shook his head, then smiled.
"It will take some time to accommodate all of it."

"You don't hate me?"

"Esther…" He laughed.
"Look,
I'm
even calling you that… I've learned not to hate anyone
or anything. We're all human. All capable of God knows what, if circumstances
push us far enough. I learned that and a good deal more about tolerance in the
war. No, I don't hate you."