Calling Me Home (6 page)

“Again, with the palliative care thing. My patients don’t get cured.”

“Oh, yes, I think I remember you saying that before.” I couldn’t tame the grin that had taken over my face. I could tell by her voice she was wearing one similar.

“Now, that’s better. This Ash and Luke I can do.”

“You can do Ashleigh and Luke 2.0 as well. You just need to have a little faith.”

“I do. I’m just nervous about tonight. We haven’t really discussed what we’re going to say or how we’re going to say it, and it’s just . . . I thought maybe we should have a plan.”

“My plan is that you’re not allowed to break up with me, no matter what reaction Haven has or doesn’t have.”

“That’s not a plan.”

“That’s the most important plan. Seriously, Ashleigh, I need to know you’re not going to dip straight back into a meltdown.” It would quite possibly kill me to lose her now. She felt a part of me.

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the phone, and my heart began to gallop.

“That’s not going to happen.” Her voice was muffled and small.

I needed her to be more convincing.

“I just don’t want to have to choose between pleasing Haven and pleasing you.”

“How about you think about what you want? I want you. I hope you want me.”

“I do, I just can’t . . .”

My heart rate wasn’t slowing down. “You can’t what, Ashleigh?”

“I can’t lose you.”

My knees nearly gave way with relief. I shut my eyes so I could concentrate on what she’d just said. “You’ll never lose me. Don’t worry about tonight. I’ll find a way of bringing it up—sooner rather than later so you don’t die of a stroke halfway through dinner. It’s all going to be fine. I promise.”

“Okay, you’re right. It’s going to be fine. Thank you.”

“Good.” There wasn’t a bigger prize than soothing away Ashleigh’s worries. It was as if that were my job now—to take care of her and to make everything better. We were linked. I felt better when Ashleigh felt better. Making her happy made me happy.

“Oh, shit. I forgot to tell you. I called because I got into business school.” She elongated the word school in her excitement.

“Are you serious? You’re fucking amazing. I had no doubt. We need to celebrate.” I was so proud of her, but there was an uneasiness at my edges that I recognized. School would mean change. Her focus would shift. But it could be a positive, right? We couldn’t stand still—I’d learned that the hard way. If I could shop for lingerie then all bets were off. If that didn’t prove we could adapt then nothing did. Getting through business school would be a breeze. Ashleigh happy was nothing but a good thing.

“We’ll celebrate tonight. You’ll stay over?”

Her asking made me feel better instantly.

Ashleigh

I arrived home to find a humungous bag from a very expensive lingerie boutique on the mat outside my flat. I smiled, knowing it must be from Luke. I wasn’t sure how he’d managed to get in my building, but the fact that Luke had taken time out of what would have been a very busy day to go shopping, then drop it off at my place, was almost as amazing as the gift itself. Almost.

As I dispersed the copious amounts of tissue paper, I pulled out the most beautiful lingerie I’d ever seen in my life. It was a bra, two sets of panties and a bustier, all in gothic, red lace. Quickly, I stripped bare to try it on. It was soft and sexy, the bustier pushing my boobs up and covering my skin just enough so I didn’t spill out. I couldn’t wait for Luke to see me later that evening. I was pretty sure he’d be happy with his purchase. I wasn’t sure the panties would last long under his fingers. I wasn’t sure I minded that idea at all.

Amongst the tissue paper was a note.

I want you to feel as amazing as I know you are.

You have nothing to worry about.

We got this. Love, Luke

Being with Luke made me feel like a goddess. I’d never felt so adored. I was beginning to think he was right. Maybe we did have this.

I slipped a black dress over my new underwear and quickly put on some makeup before heading out to meet everyone for dinner.

As I arrived at the restaurant Haven had chosen, my anxiety faded. My focus was on the feel of the lace against my skin and the thought of Luke’s face when he saw me later in nothing but what he’d bought me. If distraction had been Luke’s intention, then mission accomplished.

“Hey,” I said, arriving at our assigned table. I was the last to arrive, which wasn’t like me. I clipped people’s cheeks with my kisses. Even Beth was here. “This place looks beautiful, Haven.”

I took the open slot between Luke and Haven. As I sat down, Luke squeezed my thigh, and my stomach tumbled at his touch. I mouthed the words thank you at him, and he winked at me.

Luke filled my water, and I relaxed back into my chair. What was he going to say? And when? Part of me was nervous, but a bigger part of me was excited. I wanted my family to know that Luke and I were together.

“I hope the food’s good,” Haven said. “I can’t be arsed cooking at Christmas. If I can’t drink, there’s got to be some upside to the day.”

“I’ve said I don’t mind being chef for the day,” Beth said.

“No, Haven’s right. Going out will be great. It’s good to make new traditions,” Luke said.

My heart sped up. Was he going to say something now? I wasn’t sure I was ready.

“You’ve totally got to bake something,” I said. “That’s our new Christmas law. We all have enough baked goods from Beth to incite a diabetic coma.” There was a chuckle around the table.

“Well, funny you should say that, that’s going to be the tagline to my video clips. Beth’s Baked Goods—A Diabetic Coma in the Making.”

“Sounds like a winner. How are they going? I saw you had a gazillion hits on the one I looked at over the weekend.” I was pretty sure Beth was going to be a YouTube phenomenon sooner rather than later. She looked like a young Elizabeth Taylor and dressed like one, in vintage fifties dresses. She was the kind of girl Haven and I would joke about going gay for.

“You’re so sweet to be checking them out. I’m not sure it’s quite a gazillion, and I’m positive most of them are just from the people around this table.”

“I saw loads of comments. Some pervs, it has to be said. It must be every guy’s wet dream to have a woman like you in their kitchen,” I said. “Mostly they were from people who loved you and your baking.”

Beth blushed. “I just do it for fun, but actually, I got a call yesterday from a guy who wants to talk about me doing a five-minute slot on a Saturday breakfast show in Chicago.”

“Are you serious?” Jake asked. “That’s amazing. You’re going to be a superstar.”

Beth pushed Jake off as he tried to grab her for a kiss. “It’s only a local TV thing. And it will probably come to nothing, but it’s fun. Right?”

“It’s bloody fantastic,” Luke said. “We’re surrounded by incredible women, Jake,” he said, shaking his head as if in awe. My need to kiss him was almost too strong to resist.

“I know, right?” Jake replied.

A sommelier busied himself, pouring fizzy courage into flutes. I dreaded to think how much this evening would cost. I’d lined up a second mortgage to pay for the part of my business school fees that the hospital wasn’t covering, and I’d applied for several scholarships, but things would be tight for the next few years.

When the waiter had filled all our glasses, Luke pushed back his chair and stood. My heart began to thump so loud I was surprised someone didn’t call an ambulance.

“I’d like to say something,” he said as everyone stared up at him.

This was it. Excitement built beneath my skin.

“I’m in love with Ashleigh Franklin,” he announced.

He looked at me as he spoke, and I couldn’t do anything but gaze at him.

He loved me?

Of course he did.

How could I have ever doubted it?

“I’m obsessed to the point of madness. Devoted, besotted, totally and completely in love with her. I hope she feels for me just a tiny fraction of what I feel for her. I intend to spend the rest of my life trying to earn her love and respect. That is all.”

In all my years of loving him, I’d never felt more for him than as I did in that moment. He was describing how I felt about him. Our feelings were mutual. I never thought that could be possible.

He scraped my cheekbone with his thumb and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “Breathe,” he whispered.

“I’m good. We got this,” I replied.

I finally pulled my gaze away from him and scanned the three faces staring at me, focusing on Haven. She grinned like a Cheshire cat and rolled her eyes at me. Jake raised his glass, and Beth had her hands clasped in front of her, a smile on her face.

I turned back to Luke. “I love you too. You know that, right?” I’d known in my heart for so long that I loved him, that I sort of assumed that he knew, but saying it out loud felt . . . right.

“I can only hope that you do.”

“You have nothing to hope for. You have my love. All of it. Forever.” I drew my eyebrows together, trying to convey how serious I was. He needed to understand that I was only ever going to love him.

“I’m never going to get tired of you telling me.”

“I love you,” I repeated. I’d loved him for as long as I could remember, but it felt different now. It was deeper, more substantial, almost as if I could reach out and touch whatever it was that was between us.

Luke grinned and squeezed my hand. “I love you.”

“Okay, you two. You can stop before I start gagging,” Haven said.

“You’re okay with this? I need you to be good with this. I won’t lose either of you.” I hoped her smile was an indication that she had come round to the idea.

“Well, not the PDA, obviously. But I can’t think of anything better than you two being together.”

I didn’t understand. What had changed for her? “But—”

“There’s no but,” she interrupted. “However, if you fuck this up, I’m going to kill you both. I’m not having my family break apart.”

“I can live with that. We’re not going to fuck this up,” Luke replied.

“So how long have you known, been together?” Beth asked, looking between Luke and me. “You look really together.”

My skin heated. We looked like a couple? I glanced over at Haven. Shit, I hope she wasn’t mad that she didn’t know straight away.

“Just a few days, I guess, but it’s been a long time coming,” Luke replied. “I knew since I split with Emma. I just needed to grow up a little, and then convince this one.” He tilted his head in my direction and slid his arm around the back of my chair, leaning into me.

“And you’re convinced?” Haven asked me.

“I am. Are you?”

“She’s worried that you won’t approve,” Luke interjected. I placed my hand on his thigh. Not being with Luke wasn’t an option.

“You don’t need my approval, and anyway, whatever you do, you’ll always have it. I just wanted to make sure you were all clear about the consequences. No matter what, we have a family to hold together. I didn’t want you two putting that on the line just to get your rocks off.”

I exhaled, relieved that Haven wasn’t mad. Not even remotely. I wouldn’t have to talk her round, convince her that she wasn’t going to lose either of us. She was cheering for us; I could see it in her smile. By raising concerns, she had only ever been trying to protect us both. I grinned as she pulled me toward her and kissed my cheek.

The love surrounding me was overwhelming.

“We know that,” Luke said, but I couldn’t concentrate on the rest of his sentence. I was replaying the word we in my head again and again. It fit. The heat of his body brought me back into the moment. The skate of his fingers across my back every now and then made me feel safe.

We were a we.

And we were a family.

“We have plenty to celebrate,” Jake said.

“Oh, and I got into business school,” I added. On an ordinary day, it would have been a huge deal. Today it just felt like the cherry on the top of a huge cake.

The table erupted with congratulations and hugs.

Life was unfolding in the best possible way.