Calling the Shots
Authors: Annie Dalton
First published in Great Britain by Harper Collins Children’s Books in 2002
This updated and revised edition published by Lazy Chair Press in 2013
Text copyright (c) Annie Dalton 2001
The author and illustrator assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of the work.
This ebook is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be leant, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the author’s prior consent in any form (including digital form) other than this in which it is published, and without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
To Maria with love and thanks for invaluable help
W
hen I was alive, I had totally the wrong idea about Heaven. Each time I heard that word, spooky film footage came up on my mental screen. I’d picture myself wandering ankle-deep in little fluffy clouds through a vast empty waiting room. Apart from the heavenly muzak playing over the PA system, there wasn’t a sound. No swoosh of traffic, no pounding hip hop beat, no chatting, laughing or crying.
Nada
.
Omigosh
, I’d think,
if this is Heaven, what must that other place be like!
Then, twenty-four hours after my thirteenth birthday, I was knocked down by some youth in a speeding car and BAM! I was checking out the heavenly facilities for real. Not only that, I’d been talent-spotted to be a trainee angel! I have no idea how that happened and I don’t really care. The good news is you can all relax. There
is
no cloud-filled waiting room.
I live bang in the middle of a big, buzzy, beautiful city, filled with shops, cafes and the loveliest gardens you ever saw. The beach is like,
minutes
away. Lola and I go there constantly.
It’s weird to think that if I hadn’t died, Lola and I would never have met, because originally she’s from the twenty-second century. Her full name is Lola Sanchez, but all her friends mostly call her Lollie. We met on my first day here and I’m not exaggerating, we are total soul-mates. We love the same fashions, the exact same music, and are both deeply dedicated shoppers.
I bet I’ve shocked you, haven’t I? You had NO idea it was possible to go shopping in Heaven! But like Lola says, “Who do you think invented shopping malls in the first place!”
Don’t go thinking my new life is one long heavenly beach party. I still have to go to school, remember. The sole purpose of the Academy is to train us to be celestial agents; angels in other words. This means the Agency (that’s like, Angel HQ) is constantly monitoring our progress. Plus my teacher, Mr Allbright, doesn’t let us get away with a
thing
. I have never studied so hard in my whole existence as I do in that guy’s class.
I never really saw the point of school when I was alive. My teachers made everything SOO boring. Even history, if you can believe that? The Angel Academy takes a much more hands-on approach. We don’t just memorise dates and read books. We actually
experience
history.
Seriously, I’m talking genuine time-travel. This isn’t just like time tourism. We’re training to be celestial trouble-shooters, so we have to do everything the professional agents do. Lola and I had become so hooked that we signed up to study Earth history as our special subject. It’s like I finally found what I was created for.
And yet…I still didn’t totally believe I was an angel.
Oh, I
looked
the part! When I checked in the mirror there I was, glowing with that rosy angel glow, in my favourite school casuals with the coo Academy logo. I had my new ID in my wallet. I had my official angel name (it’s Helix). Plus I already had several angelic missions safely under my belt. But somewhere inside I still thought of myself as the same old Melanie Beeby, the insecure girl I used to be, before that joyrider booted me out of the twenty-first century into the Afterlife.
Then something happened which completely changed my attitude.
Lola and I were in our favourite department store on an urgent mission to buy her the ultimate pair of biker boots. We went sailing up the escalator, yakking away, when with absolutely no warning, the entire store started rushing away from me; sort of like a tidal wave in reverse.
In the blink of an eye, all the shoppers, bright lights and displays of cute celestial handbags were miles below, looking exactly like a pretty pattern in a kid’s kaleidoscope.
My actual body was still travelling up the escalator. I could feel my fingers clinging to the handrail for dear life. But my inner angel or whatever stared down with interest from its new perch in outer space.
Snatches of conversation zipped past. There was a gale of girly laughter, so close it tickled. Someone was plonking out a tune on an old-fashioned piano and someone else started singing, “Put another nickel in, in the Nickelodeon.” And the whole time, I could feel this unknown force pulling and tugging.
Then like a cosmic rubber band, I pinged back to the department store. I staggered off the escalator totally weirded out.
“Boo, are you OK?” Lola was asking anxiously. I honestly don’t know why she calls me Boo. Lola is constantly giving her mates weird nicknames.
“I’m great,” I gulped. “We’ll find you those bike boots if it’s the last thing we do!”
Lola shook her head. “Change of plan, angel girl.”
She steered me firmly towards the down escalator. Minutes later we were sitting at one o Guru’s outdoor tables in the sun. Mo brought our smoothies, waving away my ID. “It’s on the house,’ he insisted. “You look like you need them. I bet you skipped breakfast, am I right?”
I gave him a feeble grin. “Yeah yeah, it’s the most important meal of the day.”
“You said it,” called Mo and he disappeared into the kitchen.
Guru’s strawberry smoothies are really something else. After a couple of sips I felt new strength flowing through my veins.
“That’s better,” said Lola. “You had me worried for a minute there. You went totally white.”
“Don’t be such an old lady,” I growled. “It’s like Mo said. I had low blood sugar or something.”
As a trainee angel, I’m regularly exposed to paranormal events - when I’m on duty. But when I get home, I expect my existence to putter along in a happy heavenly groove. The idea that some unknown force could like, toy with me any time it fancied, totally confused me.
Two days later it happened again.
We were having a class martial arts session. Lola and I were in a three with our buddy, Reuben. Mr Allbright had just shown us this cool move called ‘the Waterfall’. To get it right, you have to unplug your mind and become pure angelic energy, something I’d always found impossible. But this time I was actually just a bit
too
successful, because three, four, five times, I went whirling through the air, chanting, “I am pure angelic energy. I am pure angelic energy…” Then - WHOOSH! I completely left my body.
Once again I was floating past stars and planets, to the tinny soundtrack of that bizarre Nickelodeon song.
Then Reuben and I banged heads and all three of us fell in a heap.
Lola rubbed her nose. “Ow! What happened?”
“I think that was me,” I said apologetically. “Sorry, I kind of lost my concentration.”
Lola and Reuben exchanged meaningful looks
“Then she must be punished,” said Reuben gleefully.
Squealing with laughter, I joined in their play fight, until Mr Allbright made us break it up.
I know, I know, I should have told my mates. But I just couldn’t somehow. Once I said the words out loud, I’d be admitting my terrifying experiences were real.
That night I was afraid to go to bed in case that mysterious force kidnapped me from Heaven the minute I fell asleep. Once I dozed off in my chair and literally felt myself rising out of my seat, but I got a grip just in time. And that creepy Nickelodeon song was going round and round and round my head until thought I’d go nuts.
Finally I did what I always do when I’m having a disturbed night. I stuck my headphones on and listened to the special CD that Reuben had burned for me.
Unlike Lollie and me, Reuben is pure angel. It’s Ok, he’s not like, a
saint
or anything. He’s actually a bit of a party animal. When we first hooked up, Lola and I played him all our favourite Earth tunes and after that, he refused to give us a moment’s peace until we agreed to give him private DJ lessons!
But like Lola says, our work is totally done! Our buddy turned out to be a natural angel DJ. We’ve actually adopted one of his mixes as our theme song. There’s a lyric which goes, “You’re not alone. You’re not alone.” And I swear it has healing powers, because I played it over and over until the sky was growing light outside my window, and suddenly the lyrics genuinely got through to me.
I’m NOT alone
, I thought.
We’re the three cosmic musketeers, like Lola says. There’s nothing I can’t tell those guys
.
I decided it was now officially morning. I showered, dressed and went to knock on Lola’s door. She came to the door in her PJs, looking unbelievably frazzled.
“Get moving, sleepyhead,” I teased. “If we hurry, we can grab breakfast at Guru, on the way to school.”
My soul-mate was in an unusually crabby mood. “Honestly, Mel, can’t you do anything by yourself?” she snapped.
“Hey, I just offered to buy you breakfast,” I said huffily. “No need to bite my head off.”
“Sorry, babe,” she mumbled. “I just had a bad night, later, yeah?” She closed the door, leaving me in the corridor.
I felt like crying. I had no idea why my best friend was suddenly being so distant.
But things got even worse. When I got to school, Reuben, normally the sweetest boy in the universe, practically blanked me! And Lola made it offensively obvious that she wasn’t interested in anything I had to say. For some reason my mates had completely gone off me.
I must have done something terrible without realising
, I thought miserably.
Unfortunately I had no chance to find out what because Mr Allbright kept us slaving away all morning. My problem would have to keep until the evening. It was Wednesday, and on Wednesday afternoons angel trainees go off to do their own thing: talk to trees, go scuba diving or whatever.
Chase, one of Reuben’s weirder buddies, hangs out with the tigers in a wildlife park. Reuben spends his private study time improving his martial arts. And every Wednesday my soul-mate goes down to the beach where she sings her heart out to the wind and the waves. Lollie has a brilliant singing voice.
Omigosh, I used to get SO depressed on Wednesdays. It seemed like everyone but me had some special talent. Also, I know this is really lame, but I hate being by myself. I get really scared when I’m all on my own, as if I’m actually going to dissolve or disappear or something.
Then one day some little nursery-school kids found me on the seashore and took me back to school. And I discovered that I
do
have a talent - for hanging out with pre-school angels! I go there most weeks now to help out Miss Dove with her class.
This particular afternoon, we were making a class collage of my old solar system. Everyone got stuck in, using scrumpled tissue paper, masses of shiny gold and silver stars and about a ton of glitter.