Camp Alien (10 page)

V
ANCE STARED AT ME
for a long moment. “What kind of job? I don't want to run off to retrieve a briefcase while being shot at again. I'll do it, but I don't want to.”

“That's not what I meant, but good to know that you're always willing. No. I need a First Lady's Chief of Staff along with a Social Secretary and Press Secretary. Or, as I think of it, I need a Pierre. I don't think it's right for me to rip him away from the Embassy, though.”

“I agree. He's the only one there who isn't changing jobs or having massive life upheavals.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“It's literally like you read my mind.”

“I'll be thrilled if I'm reading this right. You want me to be, what, your Chief of Staff?”

“Yeah, I do. I really do.”

Vance stared at me again. “Why?” he asked finally.

“Because you, like Pierre, know all the right things to do, who's zooming who, what to do in all the social situations. You dress like you just stepped out of the pages of
GQ
, you know everyone, and you're smart enough to make everyone think you're not smart at all. I have no idea why you were even
in
the Washington Wife class—you didn't need it.”

He grinned. “I take it every time it's offered. So does Abner. It's how we help our spouses meet new players, Kitty. Darcy likes having ringers in the class, and she also likes our money, so she doesn't let on to the new students that she's known us for years.”

Blinked. “Wow. That hadn't even occurred to me. But it's brilliant, really.”

“Thanks. You mean it? This isn't a joke job offer?”

“When have I ever offered you a joke job? When have I offered anyone a joke job?”

He shrugged. “I just want to be sure.”

“Be sure. Do you want the job?”

Vance hugged me. “Hells to the yeah. And I don't even care what it pays.”

Hugged him back. “Thanks. Get to work. In addition to having no knowledge of what your salary is, I also have no freaking idea what I'm supposed to be doing in that dining room.”

He laughed. “You mean besides eating and determining what's going on at Bad Guy Central?”

“Right. I'm great on the Megalomaniac Girl side of the house. The FLOTUS side on the other hand . . .”

Vance put his arm around my waist and headed us back. “Oh, don't worry, my chipper strip of seaweed . . . Your Mister Beaumont has you covered.”

Managed to control the Inner Hyena, but only barely. “Thank you, Jeeves.”

He grinned. “This is going to be fun. As for what you do, just sit and eat. This isn't a formal gathering, and everyone in here is aware of how you roll, plus those who don't know you well think you had a scare before the intruder was handled. But definitely eat. The food's great.”

“Got it, I'm a scared bunny. Do I get to sit next to Jeff?”

“No, not right now. And just be you, no bunny needed. You're going to sit with us, and keep Thomas entertained. Trust me on this one.”

“That is now your job, dude. To be the guy I trust.”

Vance stopped walking, took his arm from around my waist, and looked at me seriously. “I promise I won't let you down.”

“Thanks.”

“Speaking of which . . . you said you needed a Chief Floral Designer, right?”

“Yep. Along with God alone knows what else.”

“Probably a Decorator or similar. I'm going to get in touch with Pierre and tell him that, as of right now, Akiko Designs only works for American Centaurion and the
White House and have him ensure that's the case by the time we're done with this lunch.” He was texting like mad as he said this. “Also, and don't take my head off for this suggestion, but I think you can cover two jobs with one person if you hire Abner to be your Decorator and Chief Floral Designer.”

Let that one sit on the air for a long moment. “Excuse me? The Akiko thing I have no issue with. The Abner thing on the other hand . . .”

Vance shrugged while still texting. “He's Lillian's husband, he's an artist, and he, like me, knows the movers and shakers. In case you're unsure, Lillian is, by now, one hundred percent on your side, which means Abner is as well.” He looked up with a wicked little gleam in his eyes. “Besides, it'll kill, just
kill
, Marcia Kramer.”

“Make it so, Jeeves, immediately if not sooner.” Had a thought. “We need to ensure that we're watching her husband like a hawk, too. He was Gideon's VP replacement after we rescued the Cameron Maurer android, and even though Gideon's now on our side, I can't imagine that Kramer has joined him.” Particularly after my extracurricular activity at Villanova's apartment.

“He hasn't. Like Marcia, he's bitter that they've been shoved out of the in-crowd in order to move you guys in. Zachary is definitely anti-alien and anti-you.”

“Always nice to be able to keep one enemy for life, right?”

Vance grinned. “I'm glad Guy and I moved out of that circle, and I know Lillian and Abner are as well. She'll be thrilled with this, by the way. It will show her massive influence over you and your husband without her actually influencing anything. So it's a win for both of you.”

“I hire so exceptionally well.”

“I totally agree. I've texted Abner. He's possibly crying he's so excited. He's also on his way here to join us. I'll let Lillian know privately, just in case.”

We joined Kendrick, Culver, and Gadoire, and, as suggested, I ate with them. Well, I ate the meal everyone else had already had while they lingered over dessert so I wouldn't eat alone. Jeff was with McMillan, Chuckie, Elaine, Raj, and Mom. Those members of Alpha Team present were with White and the Planetary Council. Decided to let
Vance worry about seating arrangements and get some food into me.

As promised, it was excellent. Apparently I now ran Chef's life. As long as he continued to refuse to serve Alpha Four Boiled Tapeworms and continued to make food like I was consuming, he could count on only seeing me when I wanted to filch extra foodstuffs or lick the bowls. So, possibly regularly, but I wasn't planning to cramp Chef's style. He was a culinary genius. Shared this with Vance, who agreed we were keeping Chef on staff.

While I ate with probably a lot less social grace than the others around me had, in part because I was hurrying to be polite and in part because I was starving, so happy to shovel the food in, Culver and Vance kept the conversation flowing. Kendrick again proclaimed his love for all things alien and his horror at the depths Drax was willing to stoop to.

Wondered where Drax, Stephanie, Buchanan, Wruck, and Siler were. Not in this room. Wasn't sure how long we should leave them, because every minute we were eating and chatting was a minute the flyboys, the princesses, Camilla, and all the security agents were under an enemy's control. Planes and helicarriers could be replaced. The people couldn't be.

Or, rather, they could be.

Eyed Kendrick as I finished up my lighter-than-air chocolate mousse that I was going to demand that Chef make on a daily basis. Kendrick was a good-looking man—his father had been in the Marines and his mother was Vietnamese—and he was former military himself and, other than Culver, he still tended to hang with military folks.

Kendrick had the buttoned-down, crisp, intense look so many former military people had. The Department of Defense had essentially put Kendrick in charge of Titan. But that didn't mean he was a good guy—the DOD had been as infiltrated as every other government agency.

Of course, he was also part of the YatesCorp, Gaultier Enterprises, and Titan Security Unholy Trinity, which indicated nothing good. Then again, I'd just hired two people I'd have said were my bitter enemies not all that long ago and, technically, half of those around the table had, at one point in time, been against us. So that only proved that Kendrick was working in D.C. like the rest of us.

There was nothing for it. Time to do what I did best and see what reactions I garnered. Jeff was far too busy, but Jeremy was still close by. Waited until I'd made eye contact with him, then sent what I hoped was a clear emotional signal to be paying close attention. He nodded and shifted in his chair so that he was turned more toward us.

“Thomas, I have a question.”

“Sure, Kitty, what?” I'd thankfully gotten him to stop calling me anything formal. Maybe there was hope for the White House staff, though I doubted it.

“What're Titan Security's thoughts about the android situation worldwide?”

T
O KENDRICK'S GREAT CREDIT,
he didn't immediately try to pretend he had no idea what I was talking about.

“Well, that's kind of dicey to answer,” he said after a moment's shocked pause.

“Why?”

“Because my predecessor, the man who built up Titan to become a global power, was the man who created them. So, it's a natural question for you to ask. Realistically, I should know where any existing androids are.”

“Yes, you should. So, where are they?” Managed not to ask if he knew about the Kitty-Bot, but it took effort. I'd save it for later, when I needed to really get a reaction from the crowd.

He sighed. “I don't know. I have no idea how he hid the information—not only were all the Alphabet Agencies given full access to search his files, but once I took over, that was one of the main areas I focused on. We have literally zero information on how to make an android, let alone where the existing ones were or are.”

Managed not to say that I didn't believe this, in part because Jeremy sent me a text which, being the Worst First Lady in the World, I looked at. Kendrick wasn't lying. Meaning that Cliff, under the auspices of his then-role at Homeland Security, had probably searched first, found whatever he needed, taken it, and wiped the rest clean. Always the way.

Of course, that didn't mean that Kendrick wasn't still a slimy evildoer working against us. But it lowered the slime level potential.

“So . . . what about emotional blockers or overlays?”

My having tossed out the Android Question already meant that Kendrick wasn't nearly as surprised by this. He nodded. “Titan created them. Under Marling's tenure.”

“And yet you know about them.”

“I do. However, as with the rest of what I'd call our anti-alien tech, the data is gone. However, I've been looking into it.” He nodded toward Lillian. “It was suggested that determining how to effectively counter those devices would be something American Centaurion would appreciate.”

That Culver had given him this idea wasn't a surprise. That Jeremy was again texting that Kendrick wasn't lying was the surprising part of all of this.

“I think we'd prefer that they all be found and neutralized at the source, but we'll take what we can get.”

Kendrick sighed. “Kitty, I realize that Titan Security went out of its way to create horrific weapons of mass destruction. It also created genuinely useful weapons and tech that were used against most of the people here unlawfully. And I also realize you have no reason to trust me. But I'd like to do what I can to earn that trust.”

“Works for me. When was the last time you saw Gustav Drax?”

“The day before your ill-fated rail trip to Florida.”

“No time after that?”

“No. We were supposed to have a meeting a week ago, but his office called to cancel.”

Managed not to react to this and, to everyone else's credit, those nearby didn't react either. “So, what's your take on Drax?”

“I think anyone who drops invisible commandos onto the President's train as a sales pitch is an idiot,” Kendrick said dryly.

“Join the club on that one, but I'd really like to know what you thought of him before then. I know you were interested in getting some of his tech.”

“I was interested in merging his company into Titan. He has some amazingly advanced tech—things we're trying to create but aren't close to yet. Maybe if Antony Marling were still alive, and not trying to bring down the government, what Drax Industrial has wouldn't be as interesting, but since I'm not the same kind of genius as Marling was,
we could use a mind like Drax's. At least, that's what I'd thought.”

“Why did the DOD put you in charge of Titan, then?”

Kendrick shrugged. “I'm former military, I understand what we need on the ground and so forth, and I'd spent time dealing with various suppliers. I had the right résumé to take over a company like Titan. But what I don't have is the creative genius of someone like Marling.”

“Think of it like comparing artists,” Culver suggested. “Or musicians. You can try to imitate Mozart, but you won't
be
Mozart, and the listener will know the difference.”

“Exactly,” Kendrick agreed. “There's only one Leonardo da Vinci.”

“Michelangelo didn't suck.”

He chuckled. “No, he didn't. But I'm not at that level. I'm better than the people painting the dogs playing poker or putting Elvis onto velvet, but I'm not up to the grand master level. And without that spark of true genius, I'm not able to lead Titan like Marling did. And while I'm sure you're glad about this from one side, from the other, that means that the advances Marling would make naturally are lost to us.”

“That's why you were interested in Drax?”

He nodded. “He has that spark, at least as far as I've seen. Clearly that spark comes with a side helping of madness, but I didn't realize that. Then. I'm clear on it now.”

“What can you tell us about his invisibility stuff?”

“Not as much as I'd like.” Kendrick shrugged again. “He's using an irradiation process. I'd prefer to have something that was more easily turned on and off.”

“So, let's move off of Drax for a moment. If Titan doesn't have the data to be able to recreate androids or to create emotional overlays and blockers and such, then who has it—Gaultier or YatesCorp?”

Kendrick looked uncomfortable. “Ah . . .”

“Answer the question, Thomas,” Culver said gently.

He nodded. “I think it's with Gaultier, honestly.”

This jibed with all that we'd discovered. However, there was no guarantee Kendrick was telling the truth, Jeremy or no Jeremy.

Jeff wandered over. “Excuse me, folks, need to steal my wife away for a moment.”

I stood. “Back in a bit. At least, I assume.” Gave Vance a
look I hoped he'd interpret to mean that he should keep grilling Kendrick. Then Jeff put his arm around me and led me out of the room.

“Nice work, baby,” he said when we were out of earshot. “Jeremy let me know you were interrogating Kendrick, so I paid attention.”

“Was that safe for you to do with this many people around? I don't want to have to give you adrenaline—I think witnessing that might give Antoinette a heart attack.”

Jeff grinned. “I appreciate the concern, baby, but I'm fine. Since you handled that robotic version of yourself, no one's panicking or getting ready to do anything overly emotional. All things considered, other than excitement from various new appointees along with anxiety about their being able to do a good job, it's pretty relaxed in there.”

“I'd call you a liar, but it does kind of seem calmer than what we're used to.”

“I don't expect it to last.”

“Sorry about the Kitty-Bot Incident.”

Jeff hugged me. “I know you, baby. That you ran headlong into danger without me there is something I'm used to. I don't like it, mind you, but I
am
used to it. From what Chuck told me, I'm glad I had Tito go with the others to help you.”

“Oh, you're why he was there? Yeah, good call, he figured out how to talk to the Kitty-Bot faster than anyone else.”

“That's not why I sent him.”

Looked up and tried not to look or feel guilty. Failed. “I wasn't hurt. A little banged up, but I'm fine now.”

Jeff sighed. “I know, baby. And I'm not angry with you. For that.”

“I needed to help.” Didn't say where and with what, just in case.

Jeff grinned. “I know.” He nuzzled my head. “I'm not really mad at you for anything. As I said, I know you. But back to the matter at hand. Kendrick's not against us. Not sure how for us he is, but when you forced him to talk about Gaultier and YatesCorp, what I picked up was frustration, anger—directed at the people running those companies—and feelings of betrayal and fear. If he was in bed with them, I don't think he is anymore.”

“Or else he's wearing the next-level emotional overlay and is laughing at us right now.”

“Maybe. But his reactions when you had him talking about Drax were more interesting.”

“Yeah? How so?”

“His overriding emotions were embarrassment and disappointment. I think he liked Drax and was excited to be looking to merge the companies. Drax has let Kendrick down and put him in an awkward situation, and Kendrick doesn't like that.”

“Interesting. You may not have gotten this, but Kendrick says that he hasn't seen Drax since before we got onto Rail Force One.”

“Huh. Well, let's go see what Buchanan, Siler, and Wruck have gotten out of Drax. And Stephanie.”

“You going to be okay seeing her?”

He shrugged. “She's made her choices. She came through for us when we needed her to.”

“After trying to kill several of our friends. And me. Just in case you didn't remember.”

Jeff hugged me. “Of course I remember, baby. Believe me, I'm aware of all that Stephanie's done. But you and Chuck both think she wasn't really trying to kill anyone.”

“She was really trying to kill Cliff, but I can't argue with that particular sentiment. And considering when, where, and how she attacked me, Lillian, Len, and Kyle, killing us might have indeed been her hoped-for outcome. One way or the other, I can promise you that I'm willing to kick her ass if I have to.”

“I know. I'm just hoping you won't have to. I assume a lot will depend on what Drax does. I pulled you away so that we could interrogate him before it seemed like you were done with Kendrick because I know we'll need to compare stories sooner than later. And,” he pulled me into a nearby alcove, “because I've wanted to do this for at least two hours.”

With that, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. Jeff was the God of Kissing and there was something arousingly illicit about kissing in the White House when we had a million high-level people waiting on us all over the place.

Jeff's lips and tongue owned mine as always, and also as always, I was ready to go for doing the deed right here, right now, meetings and intrigue be damned.

He ended our kiss slowly, eyes smoldering. “I'd love to do exactly what you want, baby. But duty calls.”

“I'm so sick of duty.”

Jeff laughed and hugged me. “Me too. But we have to do it anyway.”

“Yeah, I'm clear that missing getting to have sex every hour on the hour is our lot in life. Doesn't mean I have to enjoy it.”

He grinned. “Always nice to know that your laser focus on the priorities remains intact.”

“Every minute of every day, Jeff.”

He nuzzled my head. “Right back atcha, baby. Now, let's get to the next vital meeting and interrogation.”