Camp Forget-Me-Not (21 page)

Soft candles flickered on cloth-covered tables later that night, their light reflecting off the scrolled silverware and crystal goblets in Angelico’s Steakhouse. I inhaled the sweet scent of the fresh flowers in the vase across from me and dropped my napkin in my lap. Coco’s words. I repeated them to myself before looking up and meeting my parents’ expectant eyes.

“So, Kayla.” My father cleared his throat, breaking the silence that had descended after the waitress took our orders. “Have you made your decision?”

I glanced from my mother’s shimmering eyes to my dad’s wary ones. In the gloom, it was hard to read what they were thinking. What they hoped I’d say. Expected me to do. But Coco would have advised me not to consider them. It was my life, and if I didn’t say what I thought,
out loud
, no one would know my feelings. Maybe not even me.

But I’d spent all day soul-searching and I had a plan.

“I appreciate you coming up here and I love you both.” I returned my mother’s watery smile and the knee nudge my father gave me under the table. “But—”

I paused when our waitress appeared with the bread. She backed away quickly, forgetting the butter, after a quick look at our tense expressions.

“I need more time. Like until the end of the summer. This is too much for me to figure out right away.”

My mother’s mouth dropped open in surprise, and my dad put back his bread roll.

“But Laini needs time to get room arrangements sorted out.”

“And I’m not sure what size apartment to get in Milan.”

My parents spoke over each other, but all I heard was them telling me what they needed. Typical.

I signaled the waitress for the butter dish, slathered some on a bun, and took a bite. The flaky, airy taste overpowered the sour disappointment I felt at their reactions. It was what I’d expected. But not what I’d hoped for.

My lungs inflated with oxygen and courage. “You may be used to me always going along with your plans, and maybe that’s more my fault than yours. But things need to change, starting now. I’m going to take the rest of the summer to decide where to live this fall, and I hope you can support that.”

“Of course, honey.” My mother blew out a long breath. “I would need a two-bedroom place anyway so that you can visit. It was wrong to pressure you like that. I guess I just didn’t want to have to wait.”

I blinked in shock, amazed that she’d accepted my objection so easily.

“Same here, Kayla.” Dad offered me another roll. “But the sooner you tell us, the better. Laini hates waiting.”

I split open the roll, emitting a puff of yeasty steam. “I’m sorry to hear that. But from now on, it’s not just about you. It’s also about me.”

I forced down the rising fear at my father’s disappointed expression. For the first time, I’d spoken up for myself and risked him disappearing from my life. Could I face being shut out so completely? Being on my own with only a part-time mother to care for me?

My knife trembled when I put it down. I might be alone, but I was beginning to see that there were worse things to fear. Like losing myself.

Chapter Eleven

“Are we all familiar with hand signals?” Rob, the Warriors’ Warden counselor, was in charge of demonstrating the basics of bike safety outside the bike rental shop the next morning. All the senior campers were taking a special day trip that would end with a sunset picnic on the Big Creek Trail.

“I learned hand signals last spring when I volunteered at a rest home,” Brittany offered, pushing her bike forward to stand in front of Rob. “One of the residents was deaf, so it really helped us communicate.”

Double-checking the contents of my backpack, I smiled while the rest of the campers groaned. I had to hand it to Brittany, though. She’d never let fear of being wrong hold her back from offering her opinion.

“That’s sign language,” Rob reminded her. “Today, we’re talking about hand signals for bike safety. Let’s run through them so we’re all on the same page. For a right turn, we extend the left upper arm…”

He demonstrated all the necessary signs for us while Brooke inched closer and closer to Nick with her bike. We were all assigned the same basic model street cruiser, but Brooke had fought her way to the front of the line that morning to snag one of the three purple ones. I was trying hard to steer clear of her ever since she’d promised that I’d be sorry for speaking out against her at the dance. Now I stood behind the rest of the Divas so I wouldn’t be too close to Nick.

“She’s totally moving in on Nick.” Nia turned around to point out Brooke’s theatrics. Nia seemed to have appointed herself my new bestie ever since the Divas had helped her escape the Brooke White Fan Servitude Club.

“She has been since the moment she arrived at camp,” I whispered back, trying not to care about that whole drama anymore as I followed Rob’s instructions for checking our bike’s brakes.

I still cared about Nick. A lot. But I wasn’t sure if the Nick that had meant so much to me was still a part of the Olympic athlete with the endorsement deals. I guess I’d know—if he started hanging out with Brooke all the time—exactly how much I’d meant to him. Until then, I had bigger problems to worry about with my mom’s new job.

“Yeah, but she was really upset yesterday when she found out Nick chose you for his commercial over her,” Nia blurted, not even pretending to test her brakes. “She trashes you behind your back all the time.”

I couldn’t decide if I was weirdly curious to hear more or hurt that Brooke was just that mean. Securing the strap on my helmet, I watched the way Nick greeted Brooke in an off-handed way, barely meeting her eyes. I wasn’t the only girl he didn’t trust, it seemed.

“I’m not sure she could do much worse behind my back than she does to my face.” I followed the command to secure our packs to the small rack behind the bike seat, using a short bungee cord to hold down the sack containing extra water and my food ration for the sunset picnic. “I guess that’s a good thing about Brooke. She’s definitely not a hypocrite.”

Sure, I planned to speak up more, but I wasn’t going to put others down to lift myself up. I knew a lot of girls like that, and I wouldn’t be that way. Part of my plan for the rest of the summer was to figure out what I wanted and who I was. How could I speak my mind until I understood those things? But this much about myself, I knew. I didn’t want to be the kind of person who made themselves feel better by bashing other people.

“Um…” Nia didn’t seem to know what to do with my determined optimism. “I guess that’s true.”

Smiling forcefully, I planned to wear my new attitude like a personal armor. Fake it ‘til you make it, my mom used to say about success. One day, I’d feel comfortable with the new me.

“We’ll be riding in teams of six,” Rob shouted, lifting his voice over the dull hum of conversations that had started among the campers since we knew all the bike safety stuff already. “Three boys and three girls to a team, so find your groups and let’s get going.”

The hum of conversation grew to an excited buzz as campers hurried to find a team. Emily gave Bam-Bam a quick smooch and then joined her girls. I thought about how tough it had been for some of the Mermaids and Pirates to pair off that day we’d gone hiking, and I remembered the awkwardness of not having any close friends in those years before Nick reached out to me. Now, I had the Divas. Except the new wrinkle of three girls and three boys on a team made things a little uncomfortable again.

“Come on, Kayla.” Brittany waved me over to stand with her and Rachel. Cameron, Eli and Jake were already with their group.

It would be so easy to follow. Follow. Follow.

My bike was practically steering itself over there, except that I’d be leaving Nia out.

“I can’t,” I forced myself to say. “What about Nia?”

We’d just freed her from Brooke. We couldn’t abandon her already.

“We can go with Hannah,” Nia announced, waving me in the other direction.

Hannah and Julian wouldn’t be separated these days, so that meant Nia and I would be hanging out with Julian’s friends from the Wander Inn instead of the Warriors’ Warden guys.

“Um…” I didn’t mind Julian’s crew. Garrett and Danny were nice enough, but I’d always felt embarrassed around them since Nick and I had quit being friends. It was kind of like I’d broken up with them, too. “Okay.”

“I don’t bite.” Hannah winked at me as she flipped her long braid off to one side so she could get her helmet on. “Much.”

Nia chatted up Danny, a sweet kid who used to spend his whole summer being homesick. He’d loosened up a little and no longer smeared zinc on his nose every day, but he looked wide-eyed at Nia, as if he couldn’t identify what category of camp danger she might fall into.

Ready to ride, I peered behind us and saw that Brooke had somehow convinced Brittany and Rachel to let her join their group. Probably because Nick had stuck with Eli and Jake. It seemed weird that Cameron and Eli weren’t hanging out, and for a split second I wondered if Cam didn’t like Nick because of me.

No. Cam got along with everyone. Besides, I’d made it clear to Cam that we weren’t together anymore.

“Has everyone found their team?” Rob shouted from the front of the line. He and Victoria were leading the long group of bicycles, while Emily and Bam-Bam stayed in the back. “The first team to make it to Walnut Bottom will become our Picnic Royalty to reign over the dinner festivities. The winners will be kings and queens for a day with the rest of the campers serving your dinners. Ready?”

“Ugh,” I grumbled even as the majority of kids shouted their agreement.

“Remember pedestrians and horses have the right of way! Set!” Rob moved out of the bike trail so that we would have a clear path for mountain biking. “Go!”

I kicked off on the toe of one pink Ked, prepared to keep up with the group even if I didn’t win the race. I liked biking. I just didn’t like—

“Coming through! Here come the big guns!” Nick shouted while Brooke squealed behind him. They went whizzing past us, their spokes a flash of silver in the sunlight.

I had a quick impression of Nick’s strong, tanned thighs moving his bike into high gear while Brooke giggled and pushed harder to keep up with him.

“Hurry, Kayla!” Nia pedaled faster, smiling and game for the competition. “Wouldn’t you love to be the Picnic Queen and make them wait on you all day?”

The eager gleam in Nia’s eyes almost made me want to win.

“Hells yeah!” Hannah shouted, leaning low over her handlebars. “Julian, show them how an Elvish prince kicks camper butt!”

“Did she really just say…” Nia’s confused expression was so priceless I almost fell off my bike.

“Don’t ask!” I leaned into the pedals, drawn forward in spite of myself.

The day was beautiful, and I had friends to be with even if they weren’t the most conventional. Who would have guessed two years ago that I’d be biking alongside Hannah while she shouted teasing endearments to the boy she’d once dismissed as the King of the Geeks?

The North Carolina sun played hide-and-seek through the trees, beating down on us one minute and the next disappearing above the branches of sheltering hemlocks and poplars. My life had been like that this summer. Full sun when I was breathless and dazzled by Nick. Darker and gray when I let worries overshadow me.

But for the rest of the summer, I wasn’t going to let my feelings about Nick dictate how I felt. I was going to have a good day even though he’d chosen someone else over me. I didn’t feel generic next to Brooke no matter what Nick’s sponsor said. I felt proud of myself and my choices because I’d made them.

“Kayla!” I turned to see Alex waving me down.

She wore pink sunglasses in the shape of big stars. They matched the pink clip-in hair extensions she liked to wear. I liked the fearlessness of her look. I couldn’t picture her ever second-guessing herself when it came to choosing an outfit.

“Nice shades, supa star.” I slowed down while she pedaled faster to catch up.

“I know, right?” She turned her head and pouted her lips for full effect. “I freaking love these things. Emily had a recycle night for the lost and found bin, and she said they’ve been in there for two years so they were up for grabs. I’m so into them.”

Behind Alex, a few of the other Munchies’ Manor girls appeared on the rise. Siobhan, a straight-A genius girl who wore quirky hats and a lot of anime characters on her clothes, was the first to reach us. Her boyfriend, chess champ Rafe, was right behind her. Trinity came next, with her blonde hair in dreadlocks and clipped with purple bands. She didn’t have a guy beside her, but we’d all heard on the DL she and Seth were still hanging out.

“Hi, Kayla,” Trinity greeted me. “We’re so not doing the race thing. It’s just too beautiful a day to race through it.”

“Agreed.” I lifted my Keds off the pedals of my bike and let myself coast down a small incline. Most of the path was uphill as we rode toward Walnut Bottom, but now and again, we got a little break.

“Trinity keeps trying to pull over so she can sketch the scenery.” Siobhan shrugged. “Obviously, we can’t win if we keep stopping, so we thought we’d just enjoy the day.”

“I had a question,” Alex blurted. “That’s why I called you. I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from winning.”