Candace McCarthy (9 page)

Susie nodded and looked pleased. “I’ll tell Pa you’ll be in to eat in a few minutes.”

Amelia gave an affirmative jerk of her head and watched Susie leave. Her thoughts were in turmoil. She had taken the woman’s room, kissed her husband in the dead of night; now she was using the woman’s personal things. Her situation seemed unreal, but when she looked into the hand mirror and saw that she looked a mess, she started to comb then brush her hair until its silky smoothness crackled and sprang to life.

She looked into the looking glass one last time before leaving the room. She didn’t recognize herself as the dewy-eyed waif with hair past her shoulders. She debated whether or not to pin back her hair and decided against it. She didn’t have the energy to struggle with it this morning. After what happened yesterday afternoon, a pristine appearance no longer seemed important.

When she felt herself ready to leave the room, she set down the hairbrush, readjusted the skirts of her cotton gown, then inhaled sharply in an attempt to calm the wildly beating tattoo of her heart.

She opened the bedroom door, lingered at the threshold as she searched for Daniel and saw him immediately at the stove. He worked to finish breakfast, unaware that she was watching. She used the time to study him in a new light, as memories of the day before raged a silent battle in her mind.

Shocked that she could recall the kiss between them more clearly than the attack the previous afternoon, Amelia straightened her spine and left the bedchamber to approach where Daniel stood.

“Miss Amelia!” Susie exclaimed upon seeing the woman. “Come sit here. Pa’s about to serve up our meal.”

Susie’s voice had made Daniel glance back. Amelia felt
his blue gaze assessing her with concern. She promptly looked away. She could feel herself blush as she joined Susie at the table. She didn’t have to study him to be aware of Daniel’s continued regard. She sensed that he still hadn’t turned back to the stove.

“I hope you like eggs,” Susie said with a gamine grin. “Pa fixes great eggs.”

Unable to avoid it, Amelia looked toward Daniel with a raised eyebrow. He smiled at her, and she glanced away, startled by the quick rush of desire she felt as their gazes caught and held.

“Eggs?” she asked. “Where on earth did you get eggs?” She hadn’t had them since she’d left Baltimore.

“Pa traded some beans from our garden to Rebb Colfax for some of his chicken eggs,” Susie explained.

“I didn’t know anyone kept chickens out here,” Amelia commented with a smile in the child’s direction.

“Just Rebb,” Daniel interjected with a grin. He had dished out two platefuls, and he set one each before Amelia and Susie.

Susie began to eat as fast as she could swallow a forkful.

Amelia observed the girl with mixed feelings as she realized that she could teach something to Daniel’s child.

She and Daniel exchanged glances. She nodded in silent assurance that she’d start working with Susie that day.

Daniel’s eyes flashed with emotion in response.

Shaken by his look of desire, Amelia turned her attention to his child, but it was hard to pretend that she wasn’t more interested in him.

“Army fort! I’m not going to any fort!” Amelia exclaimed. She was furious. Daniel wanted to take her to the nearest military fort; he wanted her to be locked up inside some stockade fence and watched over by a bunch of crude soldiers.

“Amelia, it’s not safe here,” Daniel reasoned. “You’ll be protected at Fort Brady.”

She glared at the man who had rescued her and now wished to send her away. “I’m not going. What about Susie’s lessons?”

A dangerous look entered Daniel’s eyes. “Susie’s lessons can wait,” he said.

“Because I’m a burden, is that it?”

“No!” he exploded. “You’re not a burden. You’ve been a big help. It’s not that at all.” He lowered his voice. “I just want you to be safe.”

Amelia suddenly spied Susie near the door to her room. The little girl stood, watching them with a frown. “Daniel, Susie—”

But he’d already seen Susie’s interest. Despite the fact that they’d begun their discussion of the issue quietly, they’d quickly raised their voices in defense of their own viewpoints.

Daniel smiled at Susie and raised his arm. The little girl scurried from the doorway of her room to be hugged
by Daniel. “Would you do me a favor, sweeting?” he asked. She nodded. “Run over to Jack’s and see if he has any cornmeal.”

“Are you and Miss Amelia fighting?” she asked with the candor of a child.

The adults looked at each other. Amelia answered. “No, we’re not fighting, sweetheart. We’re merely having an important discussion.”

Susie looked to her father for confirmation. Daniel nodded, and the child looked relieved.

“See if Jack has any maple syrup,” Amelia said to the little girl. “Okay?”

“Okay.” But still Susie hesitated, reluctant to leave.

“Go on, Susie,” her father urged.

With a concerned glance in Amelia’s direction, Susie hurried off to the trading post.

Once the little girl had left, Daniel focused his beautiful blue eyes on the woman before him. She heard him sigh. “Amelia—”

“No, Daniel,” she said stubbornly, folding her arms. “It’s not fair of you to ask me to go. If it’s too much trouble having me here, then I’ll leave.” She thought a moment. “I’ll go back to the mission.”

“No!” he burst out. “Don’t you see? This is what I’m trying to avoid. I don’t want you to return to the mission until I know it’s safe.”

“My father is missing,” she said.

“Yes,” he replied, “he is, but you won’t find him at the mission or anywhere else within miles of here.”

She paled. “How can you be so sure?”

His expression softened. “I can’t. That’s why I’m going to speak with Black Hawk. Once he and his men scout out the area, we’ll know for certain.”

“Daniel, please let me stay.” To her dismay, her eyes filled with tears. “I promise I won’t leave this area.”

He regarded her through narrowed eyes. “I wish I could believe that.” He continued to stare at her. “You’ll remain right here until the Ojibwa say it’s safe to leave?”

She nodded. She didn’t want to go, and it wasn’t just the fact of her missing father that kept her here. She didn’t want to leave Daniel. He made her feel special and safe … and more of a woman than she’d ever felt before.

“I don’t want you to go,” he admitted.

Her heart thumped with gladness. “You don’t?”

He shook his head as he stepped closer to her. He reached out and touched her cheek with his hand. She closed her eyes in enjoyment of his caress. “Amelia—”

There was a longing in his tone. She opened her eyes and saw sorrow in his expression, a pleading for understanding. She recalled his vehemence about finding her father, remembered how she’d realized that Daniel must have lost someone in a similar Indian attack.

“Susie’s mother?” she guessed in a soft voice.

He didn’t ask her to explain. He nodded and dropped his hand. Amelia longed for his touch. “Four years ago,” he said. “There was a raid on our cabin. I wasn’t home; I’d gone hunting—”

Amelia saw that Daniel was still beating himself up about it. She moved closer and slipped her arms about his waist, wanting only to comfort him. She gave him a hug, then moved back to look into his eyes.

“I heard them—the Indians—before I got there.” His voice had become a monotone, without life. “When I arrived, the barn was on fire … and our cabin was in shambles. Jane was gone, and there was no sign of Susie.” He paused to take a breath. “I checked outside, everywhere, and couldn’t find either one. After a time, I gave
up and went back to the house. I remember feeling empty inside, except for the pain.” He shuddered. “I could barely breathe for the pain.” He stared at her with glazed eyes. “Then, I heard a noise—from under the bed. I couldn’t be sure it wasn’t an animal, or an Indian for that matter. I got out my knife, ready to defend myself, and pulled away the blanket.”

His expression brightened, and Amelia felt a lightening in her heart. “It was Susie, frightened, but alive and unhurt. She wanted her momma. Dear God, it hurt me to hear her cry out for Jane. I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t find her momma.” He released a shaky breath and was able to smile. “But I’d found her, and I was so glad.”

Amelia smiled even while she battled tears. She leaned into him, pressed her face against his breast, enjoying the closeness. Closing her eyes, she could see the scene as it must have happened, feel the pain of a man who’d lost his wife and child only to learn that he’d regained his daughter.

And Jane?
she wondered.

“I was never able to find Jane. There was no sign of her—nothing. Her body was nowhere to be found.”

Jane’s body was never found.

Amelia’s chest tightened. She released him and stepped back.
Could the woman be alive?
The realization that she could upset her. Not that she wanted the woman killed, but the existence of Daniel’s wife complicated things for her … for their relationship. She cared for Daniel, more than she probably should. The idea hadn’t seemed so terrible—her and Daniel together, but if he still had a living wife …

She shuddered and closed her eyes. She hadn’t thought she’d feel more pain than she suffered when she realized she had a missing father. She saw things differently now,
understood more about the man before her. Her father had been missing for only two days. What must Daniel be feeling with his Jane gone for over four years?

“It’s all right,” he said with a smile. “I’m fine really.”

Amelia gazed at him with a longing she tried desperately to hide. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

He shrugged. “Do you understand why I don’t want to go through it again? That’s why I wanted you at the fort. Not because I wanted to send you away, but because I wanted you to stay healthy and alive … where I knew I could find you later … after it’s all done.”

Heat shot throughout Amelia’s body. She didn’t understand, but she thought he was telling her his concern was rooted in something deeper than simple friendship. She remembered their heated kiss that first night. She blushed. That certainly wouldn’t happen between friends. There was more to their feelings, yet it was more than physical attraction. They sensed it every time they exchanged looks, brushed hands, or shared the same room. They felt it when they were apart and missing each other.

But what about Jane?
Amelia knew that Daniel wanted her now, but what was to happen if his missing wife made her reappearance?

“Daniel—” She wanted to ask him, but was afraid.

His eyes glowed as he looked at her. Her body responded on instinct, without thought, because it felt so right. She stilled, unwilling to make the first move, needing to be reassured that he did, in fact, desire her.

She didn’t stop him as he pulled her into his arms. She didn’t stop him as he bent his head and kissed her—a wild, sweet mating of mouths that stole Amelia’s breath and make her flesh tingle and come alive.

It was a brief kiss, too brief as far as Amelia was concerned, but it was probably just as well, because Susie
entered the cabin then. There was nothing about the two adults that revealed to the little girl their tumultuous thoughts or raging desire for each other.

“Jack had some cornmeal, but no maple syrup. He said to tell you that he expects some syrup later in the week after Rain-from-Sky comes to trade.”

Daniel smiled at his daughter. “Thanks, sweeting. You’ve done well.”

The child’s teeth flashed, and she included Amelia in that good-natured grin.

Suddenly, Susie’s expression became serious. “Is Miss Amelia going away?”

“No, I’m afraid not. It appears you’re stuck with me.”

Daniel nodded when Susie looked to him for an answer. “She’s staying. I hope you like her company, because she’s going to be around for a while.” He looked at Amelia. “And she’s going to teach you a few things.”

“Teach me?” Susie asked.

Amelia nodded. “That’s right,” she said. “Your pa has asked me to show you some things that a woman—a lady—needs to know.”

Susie appeared curious. “Like what?”

“She’ll tell you all about it tomorrow,” Daniel said. “Right now we’ve supper to think about. Any idea what you’d like to eat.”

“Possum!” Susie squealed.

Amelia paled. “Possum?”

Daniel’s lips twitched. “Never ate possum before?” he drawled with a thick, self-imposed accent, the likes of which Amelia had never heard.

“No, I can’t say I have.”

“Wait until you taste Pa’s possum pie.” The little girl seemed to take delight in seeing Amelia’s face turn a sickly shade of green. “Jack and Rebb say it’s the best
thing they ever ate on this side of the Wisconsin Territory.”

“Ah, well, if Jack and Rebb like it,” Amelia said, sounding doubtful, “then I imagine I’ll like it, too.”

She glared at Daniel, who sniggered as he turned away.

“Please sit straight, Susie.” Amelia paused in the act of brushing the little girl’s hair. “You mustn’t slouch. It’s bad for your posture.”

“What’s posture?”

Amelia smiled. “It’s how you hold yourself. You wouldn’t want curved shoulders or a crooked back, would you?”

Susie seemed to give the matter some thought. She touched her shoulder. “I’m already curved.”

Amelia chuckled. “I don’t mean over your shoulder like this.” She placed her hand on the child to demonstrate. She slid her fingers over shoulder to upper arm, then she released her and moved in front of the girl. “When I talk about curved shoulders, I mean this—” In an exaggerated display, Amelia hunched her shoulders and made a face.

The child stared at her with a frown. “Maybe I want curved shoulders,” she said obstinately. “And maybe I like my hair messy and my feet dirty. Maybe I don’t wanna be a lady.”

“Susie—” Amelia had recognized early on that Susie was not going to be an eager pupil. And could she blame her? No, I
can’t.
She herself had begun to have grave doubts about trying to change the little girl. She was a happy child when she was allowed to play outside and be herself. What right did she have to mold and shape Susie into something she was not?

Amelia decided she would have to rethink this arrangement.
It was a certainty that Susie could benefit from a few lessons on manners and hygiene, although Amelia had been quite surprised with what Susie already knew.

Susie did not own a single dress. Amelia felt strongly that the child should have one, at least. A garment that she could wear for special occasions. Susie would not always be sheltered from society. She would most likely leave the area one day with a husband of her own. It wouldn’t hurt to make sure that Susie was well prepared for that day.

Susie now sat with her arms folded across her chest, her chin thrust high into the air. Studying her, Amelia felt the urge to smile, for she recognized that look. On occasion, she’d worn a similar expression of her own.

“All right, Susie, I think you’ve probably had enough for one day.” She smiled. “Would you like to make cookies?”

Susie lowered her arms, and her face brightened. “Is that what the maple sugar’s for?”

Amelia nodded. It would be the cookies she’d enjoyed as a child. It would be their own special recipe, concocted from the ingredients that were available.

“Can I make the batter?” Susie asked.

“Are your hands clean?”

The child held out her hands, turning them for Amelia’s inspection. “I can wash them again if you want.”

There was not a spot of dirt on the dainty hands. Amelia smiled, pleased. Despite her reluctance to cooperate, Susie had apparently taken the lesson on hand-washing to heart.

“They look fine to me,” Amelia replied. “Now let’s go into the kitchen.”

Suddenly, Susie looked suspicious. “This ain’t another lady lesson, is it?”

“No. But you know it doesn’t hurt for a lady to know how to bake.”

“As long as I don’t have to wear one of them aprons.”

Susie had remembered the one Amelia had worn only last night when she’d offered to make supper. “An apron is used to protect a lady’s gown.”

Satisfied with Amelia’s explanation, Susie nodded. “Then it’s a good thing I got my buckskins on.”

They went to the kitchen and pulled out the ingredients they’d need to bake. As she and Susie measured out the flour, sugar, and cinnamon, Amelia thought of her childhood, which called up images of her father. Tears filled her eyes.

“Is this good?” Susie asked. She tipped the bowl for Amelia to see.

“Yes, very good,” Amelia answered huskily.

The little girl looked at her and saw her tears. “What’s wrong?”

In an effort to control her emotions, Amelia turned away. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” a deep voice drawled. Daniel had come into the room silently and had been watching the two for some time.

Amelia gasped and spun around, surprised by his appearance.

“She’s crying, Pa,” Susie exclaimed, sounding upset.

“I know she is, sweeting,” Daniel said. He studied her thoughtfully. “Susie, you can finish up the batter, can’t you?”

Susie nodded, looking proud. “Sure, I can, Pa—”

“Then finish up, and let me take Amelia into the next room.”

“That’s really not necessary,” the woman protested.

Daniel captured her arm and gently pulled her toward the main room. “Be careful near the oven, Susie.”