Canyon Walls (11 page)

Twelve

When Cassie opened her front door, the vase of flowers on her coffee table mocked her. She carried them to the kitchen, poured the water into the sink, and dumped the flowers into the trash can. As she turned to walk away, the envelope lying on top of the dripping stems caught her eye. She stared at it for a second before she reached in and grabbed it. She flipped it around in between her fingers and slipped it in her pocket.

Cassie marched into the bathroom. She dug the scrubbing soap and a sponge from underneath the sink and pulled a pair of long yellow gloves over her hands. Long hours working didn't give her much time at home, and when she was home, the last thing she wanted to do was scrub the shower or the toilet. If her mom and sister saw her home in the state it was in, they would probably call the authorities. It definitely was not up to their high standards.

The news of Will's meeting with Mr. Hartley had left a blanket of numbness hanging over her. Now she felt the fog lifting. The resentment and feelings of betrayal bubbled to the surface. Sulking wouldn't get her anywhere. She needed to move.

She squirted cleaner in the bathtub. On her knees, she scrubbed the porcelain with all the muscle she could muster. When she thought about Will, she moved faster, scouring every inch of the tub.

Before she could prevent it, tears rolled down her cheeks. She didn't stop to wipe them away. She cried because Will had kept something from her. She cried because she could feel the camp slipping through her fingers, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She cried because her family was coming to visit, and she already felt inadequate even without their help.

By the time her tears stopped, the tub and toilet sparkled. The spotless mirror reflected her puffy face, red eyes, and the new hairstyle that had promised the making of a new Cassie. But right now it looked like the new Cassie was going to be alone and unemployed.

At the end of the day, Cassie's home was cleaner than she had ever seen it. She stood in the small kitchen and surveyed what she had accomplished. Her stove top gleamed, there wasn't a crumb to be found, and the floor shone. Petal rubbed against her leg.

She expected all the exhausting work to make her feel better, but her chest still ached. Why did everything have to go from good to horrible? Why was God letting her walk through this? She wished Will had never come into her camp.

Cassie turned on the faucet and splashed cold water onto her face. She couldn't get the image of Will and his dad out of her mind. They had probably laughed about how naive and stupid she had been. They were probably relieved when someone so dense was given the task of leading the camp.

When she awoke the next morning, she was still wearing the robe she had slipped on after her bath. She had fallen asleep with wet hair, and now she could feel it sticking out in every direction. The fitted sheet had come off the corners of her bed, and her quilt lay on the floor in a heap.

“Rough night?”

Cassie jumped at the sound of Beth's voice and almost fell off the side of the bed.

“Sorry, but the knocking didn't work,” Beth said.

Locking the door had been the last thing on Cassie's mind before falling asleep. She knocked a stack of paperbacks off her nightstand as she reached for her alarm clock. There wasn't enough time to get herself together for church—the perfect excuse not to go. She set the clock down on its side and crawled back toward her pillow.

“I don't think so,” Beth said, pulling the sheet off her. Cassie reached for the quilt on the floor without opening her eyes. She was sure she looked like a stubborn thirteen-year-old, but she didn't care. When the quilt wasn't there, she opened one eye.

Beth's tan pointed-toe heel pushed the quilt across the floor out of her reach. Cassie looked up at her. She wore a pleated skirt and a denim blazer. “You look nice,” Cassie said weakly.

Beth looked her up and down. “You look. . .” Beth put her fingernail between her teeth. “Tired.”

Cassie rubbed the crust out of the edges of her eyes. “Humph.”

Beth leaned back to look through the bathroom door. “I see you took yesterday's bad news out on the dirt in your house. Everything looks immaculate.”

Cassie swallowed hard. She instantly regretted not brushing her teeth before bed. She pushed herself up and leaned back on the headboard. “The worst part is that I should have known better. You warned me. I knew who he was. Why did I trust him?”

“I guess he's just one of those guys,” Beth said.

“You mean one of those guys who can charm anyone? A guy who can get what he wants by virtue of being handsome and charismatic?”

“Yep,” Beth said simply. “One of those.”

Cassie fell over onto her bed. “I need more sleep.”

“No way,” Beth said, leaning over to see the alarm clock on the nightstand. “You need to get ready. We're going to be late.”

“Not today, Beth.”

Beth took her hand and pulled her up from the bed. “Uh-uh. No. You are getting out of bed and coming to church with me.”

Cassie crossed her arms. “I really don't feel up to it.”

“You need to get out of this house. You can't stay here in your bathrobe all day.”

That church was the last place she wanted to be. “Then I'll get dressed and go into the office.”

Beth flipped through the clothes in her closet. “I'm not letting you stay here by yourself.”

Cassie sat back down. “Then I'll go to a different church.”

Beth shoved a khaki skirt into her hands. “Come on, Cassie.”

Cassie put her head in her hands. “But what if he's there?”

Beth stopped. “All the more reason to prove he doesn't know what he's up against. You don't have to confront him. Just don't let him do this to you.”

“But I—”

Beth cut her off. “Do you want him to think he can make you stay home and cry?” Beth held a white button-up shirt out to her. “It's up to you. Are you going to fight, or are you going to let him get the best of you?”

Cassie had always thought of herself as a tough girl. Why was she letting him do this to her? Before she could change her mind, Cassie took the shirt from Beth.

❧

Will had wanted his parents to meet Cassie at church yesterday, but when he called her name through the crowd, she had only walked away faster.

Will wrestled over what had gone wrong. Their night under the stars had been perfect. How could she act like she didn't even know him now?

He had worked so hard not to scare her away. Unfortunately, Cassie's guarded nature wasn't his biggest worry. He tried to chase away the dread, but the idea that she knew about his meeting with Mr. Hartley lingered in his conscience.

Will walked through the camp, searching for Cassie and the truth about what had happened. He spotted her carrying a bucket from the girls' cabins. A woman with Cassie peered over the edge of the bucket, smiling like a proud mother. Cassie looked naturally beautiful with the top of her hair pulled back off her face.

A girl, whose mouth was dyed green from the Popsicle she held, looked into the bucket and screamed. The rest of the group followed her lead, and it soon sounded like a cute pop star had walked into the camp.

The campers were smaller than they had been the week he had volunteered. He guessed that this was the fifth- and sixth-grade camp he had heard about.

Will walked up behind the group of girls who hadn't noticed his presence and leaned in to see a rat snake coiled in the bottom of the bucket. “Nature project?”

“Who's that?” a girl in braces asked.

Cassie dropped the bucket on the ground, and everyone gasped in unison as it teetered on its end, threatening to dump out the snake. When it stopped safely on the ground, Cassie glared at Will. “What are you doing here?”

“Come on, girls. Let's get back to the cabin,” the counselor said as she ushered the girls toward the cabins.

Will studied her face. “I wanted to see you.”

“I really don't have time for this right now.” Cassie's voice shuddered as she spoke.

This wasn't good. “It won't take long.”

She turned to leave. Will reached for her elbow, but she pulled it away. She stopped and stared at him. “I really wish you hadn't come. I don't know what to say to you right now.”

Will flexed his hands, trying to calm his nerves. “Why did you run out of church yesterday? I wanted to introduce you to my family.”

Her face lost its color. “Will, I don't want to talk about it.”

He couldn't leave without answers. “What happened between the last time I saw you and yesterday?”

Cassie looked around them. Then her eyes met his. “I know, Will. I know everything.”

The lump in his throat made it hard for him to speak. He stared up at the swallows building nests on the canyon walls. “What are you talking about?” But he knew the answer, and he braced himself for the fallout.

“I know you met with Mr. Hartley.”

Will turned around, trying to regain his composure before facing her again. “Cassie, I don't know what you think happened at that meeting, but—”

Cassie wore the hurt all over her face. “Is this why you volunteered to be a counselor? Were you just using the campers to get what you wanted? Because they deserve better than that.” With every word she said, the volume in her voice escalated.

“No. I love those kids.”

She threw her charges at him like daggers. “Is it why you pretended to like me?”

The words broke Will's heart. Since the moment he met her, he'd wanted to look after her. Now he was the reason for all her pain. “
Pretended
to like you? I didn't pretend anything, Cassie.”

Two boys and a leader walking out of the nurse's cabin gawked at them. Cassie moved to the breezeway and opened the door to the nearest small-group room. Will followed. She gripped the back of a chair and leaned in with her head down. “Listen, I'm not as naive as you think.”

Will held his hands out open in front of him. “I understand why you would be angry at me, but let me explain.”

“What is there to explain?” she asked, her voice trembling. “Did you go behind my back and have a meeting with my boss?”

Will closed his eyes. “I know it looks bad, but my father—”

“Look, I don't want to hear about your father. I can't talk about this anymore. I have to get back to work while there is still a camp.” Cassie walked out of the room.

Will ran after her. “Wait. Please, Cassie.”

But Cassie didn't stop when he called her name.

Thirteen

Work distracted Cassie from the emotions that threatened to send her crawling back to bed. This week's camp was usually one of her favorites. The younger campers made it fun, but because of their ages they couldn't be given much freedom. Everyone on-site had to stay alert, which made the timing of her revelation about Will and her family's visit even more difficult.

She dug through her closet until she found something other than casual work clothes and church dresses. She settled on a denim skirt and a floral top she hadn't worn since her mother had mailed it to her on her birthday. Surely her mom couldn't criticize something she had picked out for her. Petal watched as Cassie forced a leather shoe on her foot for the first time since the flashlight incident.

The shoes weren't unbearable. She could make it through the day with them. She scanned the house one last time, straightening a framed picture on the wall and throwing her bathrobe in the closet. Until now she hadn't noticed the wall in the bedroom needed a fresh coat of paint. She cringed seeing the way her couch sagged in the middle and spying cat hair on the chairs around the dining room table. She needed to leave if she was going to be there when the plane landed.

“Here I go, Petal,” she said, holding the doorknob. “Wish me luck.”

Petal licked her paw and rubbed it from her ear to her whiskers.

The drive to the city went by faster than Cassie had hoped, not giving her enough time to mentally prepare for her mom and sister. When Cassie arrived at the airport, she joined the small crowd gathered in front of the security checkpoint. A woman fed three kids animal crackers, keeping them quiet. A man in a button-down shirt and jeans held a bouquet of roses, and an elderly couple sat off to the side with their hands locked together.

She searched the row of television screens for the flight number her mother had read to her over the phone. The flight was on time. Cassie, her mother, and sister would all be together again in minutes, and Cassie wasn't ready for it.

Her confrontation with Will had left her shaken. She was still grasping to regain any piece of control in her life. Instead she would have to endure the roller coaster of her family dynamics.

Passengers with rolling suitcases and duffel bags walked toward the crowd. She stood straighter and combed her fingers through her hair. Those around her hugged weary travelers, and men and women in business suits headed straight for the nearest exit.

Finally, after most of the crowd had cleared, her mother and sister came through the narrow security gates. Her mom gripped the top of the brown leather purse hanging over her shoulder. Her stark bob had been dyed a reddish hue. Her sister, Melissa, looked at her cell phone and leaned over and said something to her mother who nodded sympathetically. Melissa wore jeans and a pale pink shell. Two large pearl earrings hung from her ears and matched the necklace she wore. When she looked up and met Cassie's eyes, Cassie waved.

When they reached her, Cassie leaned in and hugged her mom. Her mother reached around her and patted her shoulder. Melissa grabbed Cassie's elbow and made a kissing sound beside her cheek.

“How was your flight?”

“The man in front of me leaned his seat all the way back, practically in my lap, the entire flight,” her mother said. “It was quite rude.”

Melissa dug through her designer purse covered in little logo letters. “I'll be right back. I need to call and tell Daniel that we made it and make sure he remembered to give Gracie her pills.”

She walked away from them, already punching buttons on her phone.

“Is Gracie sick?” Cassie asked her mother. She had been shocked when her mom had told her Melissa was even leaving her daughters behind for nearly a week, but she couldn't imagine her getting on a plane when one of them was actually sick.

“No, she's talking about vitamins. She has her on a strict regimen of natural supplements. They only eat organic now. I've looked into it myself, but it's so expensive.”

Cassie watched Melissa talking on the phone with one finger pressed into her ear. “I guess Daniel is doing pretty well then.”

Her mother's face beamed. “Oh yes. The first promotion gave him a big raise, and he may get another soon.”

If only Cassie had a success to share about her own job, but right now everything was pretty much falling apart.

“I see you cut your hair,” her mother said with raised eyebrows.

Cassie pulled at the ends of her hair. “Thanks for noticing. What do you think?”

“Melissa has a wonderful hairdresser. If you ever come out to see us, you should try him. He's pricey, but I think he's worth it.”

Cassie felt like the gawky thirteen-year-old whom her mother constantly told to stand up straighter. Melissa rejoined them. “What did I miss?”

“I was telling your sister about Armando,” her mother said.

Melissa looked up from her phone. “Armando is amazing.”

“Let's go find your luggage,” Cassie said.

They followed the signs to an escalator going downstairs, where they joined the group of passengers staring at the empty conveyor belt. The man with the flowers now had a woman on his arm, and the elderly couple chased after a young boy.

“I hope they didn't lose my luggage,” Melissa said.

Melissa proceeded to tell Cassie about her playdate friends, her new SUV, and their pediatrician until she reached through the crowd to grab a suitcase with a blue ribbon tied to the handle.

Cassie picked up her mother's old-fashioned hard-backed suitcase. Melissa continued talking about school districts and the latest parenting books as Cassie led them to her truck. Cassie's mother finally cut in. “Cassie, I still can't believe you drive this thing. It's so big and masculine.”

Cassie ran her fingers gently down the side of the truck as she walked by it. She adored this truck and would always defend it. “I like it. Plus it's practical for me. We use it a lot at camp hauling tables and different things.”

Melissa and her mom gave each other knowing looks, as if confirming they had been right in whatever secret discussions they had about her back home.

The conversation on the drive to the canyon ranged from the curtains in Daniel's new office to the kind of apple juice made with the least processing and preservatives. Cassie's mother talked about the new digital camera Melissa and Daniel had bought her for Mother's Day. Cassie was embarrassed of the gift she had sent—a card and a few books.

“Did you bring the camera with you?” Cassie asked. “You can really take some great photos from the top of the canyon, and I've been thinking about getting a new one. I'd love to test it out with you.”

“No,” her mother answered, looking out the window. “I didn't think I'd need it here; and besides, I didn't want to mess it up.”

Cassie bit the inside of her cheek and adjusted the rearview mirror so she could see Melissa. “We could go hiking tomorrow.”

Melissa held her phone in the air and squinted at the screen. She had complained about the spotty reception since they left the city. “I didn't bring any shoes for hiking.”

The rest of the drive was quiet. Her sister and mom had never seen the canyon, so when they started driving down the hill toward her home, they looked out their windows. Cassie resisted the urge to justify all the things they saw, like the sign that had broken a few days earlier and the pothole they had already called the commissioner about fixing.

“Doesn't it bother you being so far away from everything else?” her sister asked.

The ridges of the canyon ran like vines through the area. “That's what I love about it. It's peaceful, at least when there aren't a few hundred campers with me.”

“And you never think about getting back into the restaurant business?” her mom asked.

Cassie put both hands on the steering wheel. She hadn't considered what she would do if Mr. Hartley shut down the camp. She felt sick to her stomach thinking about it. “I would be happy to be here for a really long time.”

“But don't you want something that pays better?” Melissa asked.

The topic of money always came up with Melissa. “That doesn't really matter to me.”

Melissa leaned toward the front seat. “Sure it does, Cassie. People say it doesn't matter, but everybody wants to be comfortable and to have nice things.”

“But it can't make you happier or more content. I need to do what God wants me to do.”

Melissa didn't reply. She always stopped talking when Cassie mentioned God, but it wasn't her reason for saying it.

“Melissa wants you to do everything you're capable of,” her mother said.

When they arrived at her home, Cassie lifted her mom's suitcase out of the bed of the truck and carried it up the driveway. “Cassie,” her mother yelled, stopping Cassie where she stood. “Are you limping?”

Cassie placed the bag on the concrete.

“She was limping,” her mother said to Melissa. “Did you see her?”

Melissa didn't answer.

“What happened? Are you hurt? Why didn't you tell me?” Her mom rattled off the questions.

Cassie hadn't mentioned it to her mom because it should have healed before their visit, and she didn't want her to worry. “I broke my toe, but it's doing much better now.”

“Broke your toe?” Her mother looked at her like she had told her she had a second head growing out of her neck. “How?”

“Maybe not broken. Bruised. I was in the storage building, and a flashlight fell on my toe.”

Her mom gasped and covered her mouth. “How could a doctor not be able to tell whether or not it's broken?”

“Well, I never actually went to the doctor.”

Her mother put her fists on her waist. “Cassie, how could you not go to the doctor?”

“It wasn't that bad.”

“Was someone with you?” her mother asked. “Why didn't they take you to the hospital?”

Cassie took a deep breath. “Someone saw me outside and drove me back to the kitchen, with Beth.”

“Who?”

Why had Cassie opened her big mouth? “Who?”

Her mother's eyes narrowed. When she latched on to something, she didn't let it go. “Yes. Who found you and drove you back?”

“One of the counselors.”

Her mother didn't flinch. She could sniff out a man in Cassie's life like a tracking dog. Her mom had a gleam in her eye, showing she knew there was more to the story and wasn't letting her get away with not telling her all of it. “A man?”

Cassie looked back to Melissa, who was trying to make a call—again. She considered her answer, finally deciding not to lie. “Yes. He was a male.”

She didn't know how her mother knew he wasn't an elderly man or a married man, but somehow she always knew more than Cassie had told her. “Let's get your bags in the house,” Cassie said.

This wasn't the last she'd hear from her mom about men, but even so, she was glad her mother had been easy on her for now.

Cassie unlocked the front door and flipped on the light switch.

Her sister came in rolling her bag behind her and holding her cell phone to her ear with her shoulder. “Gracie, you have to brush your teeth for Daddy,” she said, almost yelling. “You don't want them to fall out do you?” Melissa nodded her head as she listened to Gracie on the other end. “Sweetie, I know he doesn't sing the ‘Brush 'Em' song while you brush your teeth, but maybe you could teach Daddy the song. You can't not brush your teeth the entire time I'm gone.”

Melissa looked to Cassie, who pointed her in the direction of the guest bedroom. “Gracie, you're not going to get a prize from Oklahoma if you don't listen to Daddy.”

Her mother followed Melissa into the bedroom. “Let me talk to her. Grandma can always get her to brush her teeth.”

Cassie went into her own room and sat on her knees in front of her closet. She dug through the pile for the hiking boots that might fit her sister.

Melissa walked into Cassie's bedroom. “Seriously, I don't know how you can find anything in that mess.”

Cassie pulled the boots from the corner of the closet and held them up to Melissa. “See. It's actually organized chaos. It just looks like a mess.”

Melissa took the boots. She sat on the edge of the bed and held the soles up to the bottom of the sandal she wore.

Cassie stood and pushed the closet door closed with her hip. “I'm so busy keeping everything together in the camp, I don't have much time to organize at home.”

Melissa held the boots up to her face and wrinkled her nose at the scuffed toes and the fraying shoelaces. “I know what you mean. It's crazy at my house with the kids. I came in to ask you if I could raid your kitchen. Mom and I didn't have a chance to eat lunch since the flight didn't serve anything.”

Cassie smoothed her skirt. “Make yourself at home, but I was thinking we could go down to the kitchen in the camp to eat.”

Melissa's eyes narrowed. “Cafeteria food?”

“Beth is a great cook, and I asked her to save us some of the chicken salad on today's menu.”

Melissa shrugged like she didn't have the energy to argue and walked out of the room. Surviving the next few days wouldn't be easy.

“Are you ready, Mom?” Cassie asked, walking into the living room. “We're going to get some food from the cafeteria. I want you to meet Beth.”

“Is Beth your employee?” her mom asked.

Cassie picked Petal up from her mom's lap and held her hand out to help her mom out of the sinking sofa. Petal jumped out of her arms and began another bath. “She's my friend, too.”

They walked together down the gravel road to the cafeteria. It was break time for the campers.

“There she is,” a girl yelled, and a group of girls ran toward them and blocked their path to the kitchen.