Captive Pride (47 page)

“Noah…I…”

“You'd better go now,” he told her firmly, not wanting to put her reputation at any greater risk.

“All right.” They were the most painful words she'd ever uttered. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and refuse to leave, but she knew it was impossible. Heartbroken, she picked up her tricorn and started from the room.

“I'll go down with you,” Noah offered.

“Don't go downstairs, Kincade. Someone might catch sight of you through a window. Stay up here,” Smith instructed, keeping his attention diverted to allow them a moment of privacy. Though he gave the impression of being a coldhearted man, Joshua knew love when he saw it. He knew that young Miss CC was carrying quite a flame for the Englishman, and he thought it quite a pity that things were turning out as they were.

Noah and CC moved in silence out into the darkened hallway, and they didn't speak until they were near the top of the staircase.

“Noah…please don't make me leave you!” Her tears were falling freely now as she gave up the fight to contain them. “Not now…not when we've just discovered how much we love each other! My life will be empty without you!”

“CC, it's the only way I can live with myself. If you're home with your father, I'll know you're safe and well.”

“But Noah—”

“No more, CC!” he cut her off brusquely. “Do you think I want this any more than you do? Do you think I enjoy the thought that I may never hold you, or touch you, or kiss you again? It's tearing me apart to send you away, but it's the only solution!”

Without another word, he clasped her to him and covered her mouth with his in a potent kiss meant to brand her as his for all time.

“No matter what happens, CC, always remember that I love you….” He said the words softly and then kissed her again, this time cherishingly. “Good-bye, my darling….”

“Noah…”

“Go now before it becomes even more difficult!”

CC gave a choked sob and then touched his cheek one last time. Steeling herself against the emotions that were ravaging her very soul, she turned away to stuff her hair up under her hat.

“Good-bye, Noah…and please, please, be careful.” Tears were coursing freely down her cheeks as she took one last look at him. Then she turned and raced away down the steps and out of the house, disappearing quickly into the night.

Miserable and dying inside, Noah watched her until she was out of sight. He felt as if someone had physically ripped his heart from his chest, and he drew a deep, shuddering breath as he started back to his room and Smith.

Unmindful of any attention she might attract, CC hurried away. She felt frozen and lifeless inside. Nothing seemed to matter without Noah…nothing. Eager to seek out what little comfort the familiar surroundings of her room could offer, she ran for home, unaware that her father was there in her chambers waiting for her.

CC was exhausted as she finally climbed through her open window and then closed it behind her. As she moved about the dark, warm security of her own room, she realized vaguely that she'd been very lucky in not having been found out. As tired and filled with anguish as she was, CC wanted only to collapse upon the bed and cry out her misery, but she knew that it would not do to risk being discovered in her disguise. Moving wearily to her small bedside table, she lighted the lamp. The flickering flame wavered for a moment before shining full and bright, and it bathed the chamber in a soft golden glow. CC turned, ready to search through her armoire for a nightgown. She went completely still and stared in shock at the sight that greeted her. There, sitting in the chair near the bed, was her father.

“Father!” she gasped as she stood before him, her limbs suddenly quaking in fright. They had argued many times. They had even been very angry with each other on several occasions, like this afternoon, but never before had she seen such a look on his face. His expression was positively fiendish as he regarded her with eyes that seemed to glow red with fury.

“I see you've finally decided to return, my dear. That is you, isn't it?” Edward's tone was cutting as he regarded her in complete disgust. It was bad enough that she'd left the house in such an unorthodox manner without his permission, but to discover that she had been dressed like a man while doing it…well, it was more than he could countenance. How dare she? And what was she up to?

Hastily, CC tugged the tricorn from her head, shaking her long hair free from its confines. “Yes, Father. It's me.”

“I see,” he stated rigidly. “I want to know where you've been, young lady…. And I use the term loosely at this point.”

As distraught as she was over being parted from Noah, CC could think of no lies to cover for her outrageous behavior. Swallowing nervously, she didn't answer.

“I asked you where you've been!” he boomed as he came to his feet and stalked toward her.

“I'd prefer not to talk about it, if you don't mind, Father.”

“You prefer not to talk about it….” Edward was irate, and he repeated her statement in amazement. “
You
prefer not to talk about it! By God, daughter, were you the male you're pretending to be, I'd thrash you within an inch of your life right now!”

CC cringed at the very real threat of physical violence in his voice. Edward came to stand before her, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he fought for control.

“I want to know where you've been!” He loomed over her, barely containing his rage.

Drawing on her courage, she lifted her chin and looked up at him. “I can't tell you.”

“Ah, but you will, little girl. I am going to know exactly what is going on here. It was bad enough that you shamed yourself earlier today by going to the jail, but this…” He gestured toward her mode of dress. “This is unforgivable!” Edward was bellowing now, and CC knew she had to do something to defuse the situation.

Finally gathering enough presence of mind to tell him a close rendition of the truth, CC hurried to offer, “I understand you're upset, Father, but the whole thing is really quite simple. There was a political meeting tonight, and I wanted to attend. I knew it wouldn't do if I went as CC Demorest, so I wore these clothes to keep my identity a secret. I'm sorry if I've upset you.”

“Upset is not the word for what I'm feeling right now, dear girl! I have dedicated my life to raising you, and this is the thanks I get for it!” He gestured toward her clothing. “A political meeting, indeed!” Edward snorted his disbelief as he shook his head in sorrow, lamenting his erroneous judgment. “I've given you every educational opportunity. I've allowed you freedoms no other woman has ever enjoyed. Yet you respond this way. I was wrong in giving you the chance to voice your opinions. Instead of permitting you to express youself, I should have forced you into the traditional submissive role so well suited to your sex.”

“Father…I…”

“Shut up!” He silenced her viciously. “I don't want to hear another word from you. While I was sitting here alone in the dark waiting for you to return, I had quite some time to ponder your activities lately. Everything else aside, I find it most distressing that you are brazen enough to go out in public dressed as a man. I can only conclude that you are jeopardizing my good name, and that, Cecelia Marie, is something I will not tolerate.” He glowered at her. “Since, despite all my efforts, you obviously have acquired no sense of decency, I'm afraid we're going to have to make some very drastic changes.”

“What do you mean?” Her eyes rounded fearfully as she wondered what he was planning.

“First thing in the morning I'm going to book you passage to England. You will return to London and live with your Aunt Charlotte. She was always a stickler for decorum, and perhaps, just perhaps, she can correct all your faults. Under her strict tutelage you will learn to become a woman—someone your mother would have been proud of….”

His last declaration hurt. “But Father…”

“Silence! I've made my decision. You will be leaving Boston at the earliest possible moment. Good night.” He turned from her without another word and quit the room.

 

It was well past midnight, and Noah and Joshua shared the shuttered room in silence. After they had eaten earlier, Joshua had made several attempts to engage Noah in conversation, but Noah had been so filled with despair at the thought of being parted from CC that he had been unusually curt in his replies. Frustrated in his overtures, Joshua had lapsed back into his usual taciturn manner. They had remained silent from then on as they waited tensely for word from Ryan.

The hours since CC's departure had passed with maddening slowness for Noah, and his mood was black as he paced the small chamber. Never before had he known such an all-encompassing love for anyone. It was as if a vital part of him had been cut away, and he was at a loss to deal with it.

Though Noah had been honorable in his original intention of leaving CC behind, the more he thought about never seeing her again, the more impossible it became. How could he possibly exist without her now that he knew the true sweetness of her love? The answer came to him easily…he couldn't. No matter how noble he had tried to be in sending her away from him, Noah knew he couldn't live with that decision. Somehow, some way, he was going to see her one more time. When he did, if she still wanted to accompany him, he was going to take her with him. His thoughts were interrupted then by the sound of riders in the alley below.

“Joshua?” Ryan called out as he entered the house and started upstairs to find them.

“We're here, Ryan,” Joshua answered, coming out into the hall to meet him, “and we've had no trouble.”

“Good.” The leader sounded slightly breathless.

“What's the word? Do we travel tonight?” Joshua asked, leading the way back into the room where Noah was waiting.

“As soon as we mount up,” he told them as he handed Noah a bundle. “Here…I brought a dark cloak and hat for you. Hurry! We're to rendezvous near Long's Wharf as soon as possible.”

“What about patrols? Aren't they still searching for him?” Joshua wondered how Noah was going to be able to get out of town undetected.

“Trust me.” Ryan gave him a half smile. “All we have to do is get there. The rest should be simple. Let's go.”

Noah was glad that things were going so smoothly, but he knew that he could not leave without seeing CC one last time. “There's just one problem, Ryan.” He spoke up determinedly, causing the other men to pause and look back at him questioningly.

“Problem? What kind of problem?”

“I have something I have to do before I leave.”

“What?” Ryan frowned at the interruption in his schedule.

“There's someone I have to see.”

“I'm sorry, Kincade, but there's no time. We'll be lucky to get you out as it is without making a stop along the way.”

“Either we stop at the Demorest house on our way to the rendezvous, or you can forget about me going along with your plan.”

“The Demorests'?” Ryan looked at Noah as if he'd just lost his mind. “You're crazy! Edward Demorest is an ardent loyalist. We're not going anywhere near his house.”

“Edward Demorest may be a loyalist, but CC isn't. I'm not leaving town until I've had the chance to speak with her again.”

“Again?” He glanced at Joshua and then back at Noah.

“CC was here earlier. We're in love, and we're going to be married,” Noah informed him. “I thought I would be able to leave her behind, but I find I can't. I want her to travel with me.”

“CC go with you?” Ryan was surprised. “But it's impossible! I don't know if there will be room for another person.”

“CC and I go together or I don't go at all.”

“You're crazy!”

“I may well be.” He shrugged off the comment. “Now, do we stop at the Demorests'?”

“All right, all right,” Ryan told him in exasperation. “Let's just get out of here. Our connection will be waiting for us, and I don't know how long they can remain where they are without drawing attention to themselves.”

Joshua listened to the exchange in silence and then smiled when Ryan finally gave in and agreed to Noah's plan. He had always liked CC. She was a spunky one and right smart, too. She would be getting herself a fine husband in this man.

Within minutes the three men were on their way. Traveling by the back streets, they finally neared their destination and reined in a short distance away from the Demorest house.

“Is CC going to meet you outside somewhere?” Ryan asked.

“No. She doesn't even know I'm coming for her,” Noah answered, leaving him astonished.

“Then how the hell are you going to get her out of there? Go up and knock on the door and ask her to come out?” Ryan snapped as his gaze nervously combed the deserted streets and alleys for some sign that they were being followed. Luckily, he noted no one in the vicinity.

“Do you have any idea which room is hers?” Noah asked, ignoring Ryan's exasperation.

“I do.” Joshua spoke up for the first time. “CC told me once that she had to sneak out to come to the meetings and that she had to climb down a tree outside her window to do it. There's a big tree on the far side. Why don't you see if it's the one?”

“Thanks, Joshua.”

The older man nodded and gestured for him to hurry. “There's very little time. Go get your woman.”

Noah cast him a grateful glance as he dismounted and then hurried toward the secluded grounds.

When her father had left her, CC had been too overwrought to sleep. Memories of Noah and the glory that could have been theirs had haunted her every thought, and once the shock of the confrontation with her father had faded, the tears had come. Heartbroken, she had sobbed out her torment until finally there had been no more tears to shed. Not only had she lost her love this night, she had also been stripped of the one other thing she cared about…her involvement with the rebels. She longed to flee but knew that there was nowhere to go. She was trapped, and unless some miracle happened, she would be shipped off to England, probably before the week was out.

Feeling miserable, CC got up from the bed and went to the armoire to select a nightgown. She had been so upset earlier that she had not bothered to change out of her trousers and shirt. Now, however, she felt wretchedly unkempt in the wrinkled, sorry outfit. She hoped that getting cleaned up and changing into a gown would help her feel a little better. Clutching a warm winter-weight nightgown, she moved to the washstand and poured herself a bowl of water. Her movements were lethargic as she unbuttoned the shirt and slipped it off.

It had been many a year since Noah had tried his hand at climbing trees. Gingerly testing each limb for strength as he went, he slowly made his way up through the maze of bare branches toward the lighted window on the second floor. He prayed silently that luck would be on his side and that the room with the light would be CC's. He breathed a deep sigh of relief when he finally maneuvered himself close enough to look in.

His view was unimpeded, and he stopped all motion at the sight before him. There within the warmth of the room was the woman he loved. He watched as if mesmerized as she poured a bowl of water and then began to undress. When she slipped out of the shirt and let it fall, the lamplight bathed her pale flesh in a golden-honey glow. Desire flooded through him, and his grip on the tree limb tightened until his knuckles shown white. The beauty of her bared breasts enthralled him. Though he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his days admiring her loveliness, he knew regretfully that now was not the time. As quietly as possible, he reached out, pried the window open, and climbed inside.

CC went about her ablutions mechanically. She felt drained, emotionally and physically, and she hoped to get some rest when she'd completed her toilette. A good night's sleep always managed to make even the worst situations seem less dire.

The cold caress of a chilling draft swept down her spine, and CC shivered, wondering where the unexpected breeze had come from. Frowning slightly, she glanced up into the mirror. To her complete surprise, there was Noah standing behind her in the room just inside the window.

“Noah?” His name was a hushed whisper on her lips. She could not believe that he was actually there, and she stood immobile for a long moment just watching his reflection.

“CC, darling…” He went to her without further invitation, sweeping her into the warmth of his embrace. His mouth met hers in a frantic, passionate kiss that told her of his desperation and his devotion.

“Noah, what are you doing here?” she asked breathlessly when the kiss ended.

“I couldn't do it, CC.”