Carae's Touch (Long Line of Love, #4) (21 page)

"Damn, Rae, this Brandon is a lucky guy."

If only he thought so. "So is Alan. Think about it and discuss it with Alan to see if that's something you two can handle."

"Even if it is, you're otherwise occupied right now."

She glanced down at her stomach. "I meant in about eighteen months or so."

"I really appreciate the offer, but I'd be very surprised if Brandon didn't have a problem with any kind of intimacy with another man."

"As I said, he doesn't have any standing to object."

"I don't think you should make any plans until you know how things work out between you and Brandon, but I love you so much for your offer."

"Well, think about it and let me know."

"I will, but I don't see Alan agreeing and I actually like that he probably won't agree."

"Well, the offer stands."

"Thanks. Now, let's discuss you. Have you told Mom and Dad yet?"

"I know I should have, but I hate knowing how disappointed they're going to be."

"Well, now that they know all their grandkids will have to come from you, I think they'll be less disappointed than they ordinarily would have been."

"I think I'll wait a week or two so they don't have too many shocks to deal with."

"If you need me, call me."

"And you." She glanced at her watch. "I'm going to go shower and dress before I wake Brandon."

"Give him a long, moist kiss for me."

"Don't you wish?"

"Love you, Rae."

"Love you more, Ren."

They made a kissing sound and ended the conversation.

B
randon slept until Carae woke him just after eight with a kiss and coffee.

He put the cup on the bedside table and pulled her down into his arms. "Have I told you lately how much I adore you?"

She smiled. "You keep saying it enough and I just might start to believe you. Now why don't you get up and shower while I cook breakfast?"

"I talked to Layton earlier this morning. We're invited to lunch. Interested?"

"Not really, but if you want me to, I'll go."

"If you'd rather not—"

"It's not that I'd rather not. I was just hoping we could spend the day alone."

"We can do that. I'll call Layton and reschedule."

"No. I guess it won't kill me to share you with them for a few hours." She kissed him quickly. "I'm going back to finish breakfast. I'll expect you in the kitchen in twenty minutes."

"I'll be there," he said and slipped out of bed. Fifteen minutes later, he walked into the kitchen and embraced her. Pressing his lips against her neck, he slid his hands over her breast, down to her belly, and stiffened.

"What's the matter?"

He inhaled slowly, feeling a faint pulsing against the palms placed on her stomach.

"Sweetie?"

He turned her to face him, staring down into her eyes. "Carae?"

She frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"You mean other than that breakfast is ready?"

"Yes. Other than that."

She shook her head after a noticeable hesitation. "Nope."

He blew out a breath and stepped away from her.

"What is it, Brandon? What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "I don't know."

While she ate, he pushed his food around his plate and made a conscious choice not to reach out and grip her hand in an effort to strip the knowledge he wanted from her against her will.

"Why do you keep staring at me like that?" She asked suddenly, putting her fork down.

"Like what?"

She shrugged. "I don't know...like you're...I don't know. I just know it's not an
I-find-you-so-totally-fascinating-that-I-can't-stop-looking-at-you
stare."

He shook his head. "Actually I do find you totally fascinating and can't stop looking at you. I also can't believe you're brave enough to still want a relationship with me."

She smiled and reached across the table to squeeze his hand. "I do. More than you know."

"I'll know if you tell me, Carae."

She removed her hand from his. "I think I've made enough admissions for several months to come, Brandon."

He sighed. "Look, I know I haven't made things easy for you, but—"

"That's an understatement if ever I heard one."

He nodded. "I know, but, I really do want and need you in my life."

"And clearly I want to be in your life, Brandon."

"So we're on the same page?"

She shook her head. "Not until you can talk about her to me."

"Carae..."

"If you can't do that, how can I not feel that I'm a poor substitute for her and that you're settling for me because you can't have her?"

"That's not true. You're not a substitute for anyone."

"Prove it, Brandon. Tell me about her. I know it's difficult for you to talk about, but I think I've been fairly patient and if you don't think our relationship is worth some discomfort, do we really have a relationship worth working on?"

"Carae—"

She shook her head and held up her hand. "You don't have to answer now, but I am going to want some demonstrative proof soon of how you say you feel about me. I'm sorry if you think I'm being unreasonable, but—"

"I don't think that. It's just that...it's hard."

"I know, but I need you to make me believe that I'm worth a little hardship." She got up and walked inside, leaving him alone on the balcony with his hopes overshadowed by the fear of losing her because he couldn't overcome the guilt and pain of losing Rissa.

He knew she had a legitimate gripe, but he also knew he wasn't ready to talk about his relationship with Rissa because she'd want to know what went wrong. Once she knew that, she probably wouldn't trust him with her heart. And he wanted and needed her heart more than he would have thought possible.

After several minutes of struggling to control his thoughts and feelings, he followed her inside.

"I need to make a quick run. Will you wait for me?"

She hesitated and then nodded. "Yes."

"I'll be back as quick as I can," he said, kissed her cheek, picked up his key fob, and left. Seated in his car, he called Lelia. "I need a favor. Are you free?"

"When?"

"Now. I need you to come with me to Jewelers Row."

"Oh?"

"I want you to help me to pick out something for Carae."

"For Carae?"

"Yes."

"Something special as in a ring?"

"Yes. Are you free?"

"Absolutely, but I need you to know that I didn't have any ulterior motives when I invited her to the party. I had no idea the two of you would...I wasn't matchmaking."

"I never thought that you were, Lelia."

"Ok. Ah, give me 30 or 40 minutes and I'll be ready."

"I'll see you soon," he said.

When he returned home nearly three hours later, he and Carae left for Layton's and Tempest's house. Once there, Tempest and Benai whisked Carae away to see the kids while he went down to the pool room where Layton, Bancroft, and Declan waited.

"I
don't know what I'm doing wrong, but it's happened again."

Layton looked up from the pool table. "What's happened again? Falling in love when you didn't want or expect to?"

"No."

Bancroft exchanged a quick look with Layton and Declan before arching an eyebrow. "No? Surely you're beyond refusing to admit you're in love with her."

He signed. "That's not what I ...I meant she's pregnant...like Rissa."

Bancroft frowned. "Why isn't that a good thing?"

He shrugged and then shook his head. "It would be...if it were mine."

The other three stared at each other in silence before Bancroft spoke. "Did she say you weren't the father?"

"No. She hasn't even told me she's pregnant."

Layton frowned. "Then what makes you think you're not the father?"

"The fact that she hasn't told me."

"And that's the only reason you think she's...wait a minute. What do you mean like Rissa?"

He shook his head.

"Are you implying that Rissa was pregnant by someone else?"

"I'm not implying it," he said.

He heard all three of his brothers sigh in relief. "Good," Layton said.

"I wasn't implying it. I was saying it. Like Rissa, I'm sure it happened when we weren't exactly on good terms...when they weren't sure things were going to work out for us, but that doesn't make it any easier to bear since I never strayed during those down times with either one of them."

"Carae hasn't strayed. The baby is yours," Declan said.

He stared at Declan. "Are you sure?"

Declan nodded. "I knew when we shook hands. It's yours."

"Then why hasn't she told me?"

Declan shrugged. "There are any number of reasons why a woman might not tell the father she's pregnant."

He inhaled slowly. "The main reason being she's not planning to keep the baby. Is that what you're telling me?"

"I'm telling you there are many reasons a woman might not tell the father. I didn't get any sense that she wanted or planned to do anything but have the baby."

He felt a level of relief that shook him. "Thank God."

Layton crossed the room and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Now what's this with Rissa?"

He hesitated before he took a deep, shuddering breath. "You know that she was still alive when I found her. What I never told any of you was what she said seconds before she died."

"And what was that?"

"She...she said the baby wasn't mine."

Bancroft shook his head. "I can't believe that."

"Neither can I," Declan said. "She loved you as much as you loved her. There's no way she slept with another man."

"I wish I could believe that, but she was dying when she said it. I don't know who she slept with, but the baby wasn't mine."

Layton squeezed his shoulder. "You must have misunderstood her."

"I know what she said."

"I'm sure she never cheated on you, Hoss," Bancroft said.

"I never thought she cheated. We weren't exactly a couple at the time, but it still hurts knowing she didn't tell me and give me the chance to tell her that it wouldn't have mattered. I would have married her anyway and loved them both."

The relief he felt having finally admitted that Rissa had strayed made him realize he should have shared his anguish and pain with them much sooner instead of keeping it bottled inside where it festered and made him emotionally ill.

He wouldn't have been surprised had Layton or Bancroft chided him for his failure to be honest with them sooner.

"I still think you're mistaken about Rissa. However, you can't change the past, Hawk, but you still have control over what happens with Carae," Bancroft said. "You've taken a big first step by giving Rissa's pictures to us for safekeeping, but it's time to take the next step. Tell her how you feel."

"I will...I just need a little more time."

"I'm not sure how much time you have before she pulls away for good," Declan said.

"You invaded her thoughts," he said, annoyed.

Declan sighed, looked briefly away, and then nodded slowly. "Yes, I did, but I promise you that I made no attempt to influence her in any way."

"Where the hell did you get off doing that, Declan?"

"I know I shouldn't have, but it was a brother's privilege. I felt your turmoil and my concern for you overshadowed my better judgement. I probed, but I didn't influence her in anyway...as you'll soon see."

He inhaled quickly. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're running out of time with her. I was tempted, but I didn't do anything to change that. You're running the risk of losing her if you don't make a move soon."

"If she doesn't care enough to give me a little more time..."

"What?" Layton asked. "You'll risk losing her? Are you out of your damned mind? How many times do you think you're going to fall in love with someone who loves you too?"

He rounded on Layton. "But does she if she can't or won't give me the understanding I need? And even if she and I work things out now, do we really have a hope in hell of making it work long term? We have nothing in common. Nothing. She likes clubbing and—"

"So what? If you love each other, you make concessions and a real effort to understand and support each other and embrace your individual differences. That's what Tempest and I do. It's not always easy, but it strengthens our love and ensures we keep working to stay in love...not that there's any chance of my falling out of love with her.

"Yes, the fact that Carae is younger almost ensures you have different interests, but that doesn't have to be a stumbling block. View it as a challenge and another way to show her how you feel. And let's face it, Hoss, given your age and the fact that you want kids, a younger woman is more ideal than one closer to your age. View her age as a plus instead of a negative."

"Just don't leave it too much longer," Declan said.

"I know what you're saying makes sense and I've already taken steps..."

"But?" Layton asked.

"But I have to do this in my...when it feels right."

"Why wouldn't it feel right now, Hawk? Because you're afraid to admit that your feelings for Carae are comparable to or even more powerful than your feelings for Rissa were?"

"I didn't say that."

"Don't forget who you're talking to," Bancroft reminded him.

He had a feeling that Tempest and Benai were doing their best to talk Carae into giving him a little more breathing room. He walked over to the pool table.  "All our cards are on the table and you've all had your say. I have a lot to think about, but right now, I feel like playing pool."

"And that's it?" Layton demanded.

"No, that's not it, Hawk, but I just don't want or need to talk about this anymore. I know what I need to do."

"I hope to God that you're going to do it while she's still receptive."

"If she loves me, she'll give me a little more room. If she doesn't, it's better that I discover that sooner rather than later."

Layton shook his head. "God, I hope she loves you enough to overlook the fact that you're a first class ass."