Career Girl in the Country / The Doctor's Reason to Stay (22 page)

“And she might still change her mind and want to exchange the blue one for the pink one. That’s a woman’s prerogative.”

“My world’s a whole lot simpler. You just—”

“I know. Call your shopper, and wear what she picks out. But where’s the fun in that? I mean, think about it, Rafe. What would happen if you took Molly out shopping for you? You might discover that there’s more to life than gray dress slacks and blue dress shirts.”

“How do you know that’s what I wear?”

“You’re predictable. Sure, you’re in jeans right now. But you’re out of your element. What happens when you get back into your element … your rut?”

“I wear gray and blue, which suit me just fine, thank you very much!” He said this almost defensively.

“But what if Molly found you a pink shirt or, heaven forbid, navy-blue slacks? Could you handle that?” “It’s just colors. What’s the big deal?” “The rut’s the big deal.” She didn’t know if he liked his rut, or if it was just easier for him being stuck in it.

“So, when is a shopping trip
not
a shopping trip?” he asked. “When it’s meant to show me just how much I need to be a father?”

“I’m not denying it,” Edie said. “And I’m not buying into it,” Rafe argued. But he was, hook, line and sinker. She knew it. And an hour later, when Molly hopped out of the beauty chair, her hair done in a pretty lace braid, the look Edie saw on Rafe’s face only confirmed how much he was truly buying into everything.

“She’s beautiful,” he whispered, his voice full of emotion. The emotion a father would have for his daughter.

It was such a touching scene, it brought tears to Edie’s eyes, and she turned her head quickly so Rafe wouldn’t see.

“Rafey,” Molly called out. “Can we take the blue dress back and get the pink one?”

Rafe laughed out loud. “Of course we can.” He gave Edie a gentle nudge, then held out his hand for Molly. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I
T WASN’T
like she was a schoolgirl out on her first date yet somehow that was exactly how she felt. A little bit giddy, a little bit nervous … all of it probably owing to the fact that she hadn’t actually been out on a
real
date with Rafe yet. Or, for that matter, any kind of date for some years. Occasionally, there’d been casual coffee at the corner coffee house or lunch with a casual friend … Casual, casual, casual … that was about as far as her life had gone in the dating department since her one and only venture into the real relationship world had sent her running for shelter before the ink had barely dried on the marriage certificate. She took the blame … all of it. She hadn’t been ready to be out in the world on her own let alone tied into a relationship. But marriage had seemed stable, and she had been at a place in her life where she’d wanted stability. Alex, though, he’d wanted a real marriage … something she hadn’t been able to give him even after the hasty vows had been pronounced at the county courthouse. Oh, she’d playacted for a while, fashioned herself in the role and given it her best effort, but her best hadn’t been good enough. So after that, no men, no dates until now. The thing was, Edie wasn’t even sure that this
qualified as a date. As they were exchanging Molly’s blue dress for the pink one, a mention of dinner had slipped into the conversation, barely without noticing. Then the next thing she knew, she was home worrying, primping and worrying some more. Admittedly, she was attracted to him. What woman wouldn’t be? Big, rugged, handsome. The kind of man who brought a sigh to her lips … lips she’d tried to keep
those
kinds of sighs away from for a long time. After all, what was the point? She’d dipped her toe into that pool once and found she didn’t like getting wet. So why bother with the sighs when she wasn’t willing to allow anything more?

Except with Rafe those sighs seemed inevitable now, even when she fought them off.

Well, she’d just have to deal with it, wouldn’t she? Keep her distance, as well as a good, hard bite down on her lower lip. “Besides, it’s just a silly little dinner,” she chided herself, looking at her reflection in the mirror. “Food, conversation. A way for Rafe to kill a couple of hours waiting for Molly to be finished at her party.”

But who was she kidding? She
was
nervous. No avoiding it. Suppose they got on too well, or discovered they didn’t get on at all? How would either way affect her quest to win him over to adopt Molly? What she did, or said, could have such a strong bearing on Rafe’s intentions with Molly, and that was the thought that pestered her for the next ten minutes, until the doorbell rang.

“Rafe, it’s so nice to see you,” she said, trying not to sound breathless when she opened the door to him. Her first look at him nearly took her breath away, though. Casual jeans, tight. Boots. Close-fitting T-shirt
showing off a nice expanse of chest. Leather jacket. Everything about him impeccable. Not bad at all, she decided as he helped her into her wrap. Actually, very good … his look, her reaction. Because she was still focused on her mission in spite of Rafe’s incredible good looks. This was about Molly, not about her. So, it was all under control, she decided as Rafe took her arm and led her down the walkway to his car then helped her in.
About Molly,
she kept telling herself the whole way to Mama Bella’s World Famous Pizza.

“You don’t mind casual tonight, do you?” he asked, holding open the restaurant door for her. The hostess, a jovial, matronly woman with short red braids who spoke with a fake Italian accent, showed them to a secluded table for two, probably the table considered to be the restaurant’s most romantic, even though the tablecloth was red-and-white-checked vinyl.

“Excuse me?” she asked, biting back a smile as he was pulled out the chair for her.

“Casual. You don’t mind making this a casual evening, do you?”

“But doesn’t the candle on the table automatically make it romantic? Most of the other tables don’t have candles.” The candle was a drippy red thing, burnt down to a stub, stuffed into a used wine bottle.

In one swoop Rafe grabbed up the candle and put it on the floor. “There. Casual.”

In a way, that was disappointing, not that she’d expected a romantic evening with him. Or even wanted one. But to dismiss it so quickly … to just whisk the candle off the table the way he had, was, oddly, a letdown she hadn’t expected.
It’s about Molly,
she reminded herself. “There, casual …” she said, picking
the candle up off the floor and handing it to a passing waiter. No more hints, no more reminders, no more awkwardness … at least, on her part. “OK?”

“Well, it occurred to me that I should have mentioned what I had in mind for this evening, so you could dress appropriately.”

“I’m not?” she asked, suddenly self-conscious. She was wearing black slacks, a simple powder-blue sweater, something that should have covered both worlds—casual or dressy. Even romantic. Damn, did he actually think that was what she thought? Now she felt awkward again.

“And I’ve gone and said the wrong thing, haven’t I?”

“It shows?” she asked.

He smiled. “You don’t hide yourself very well, you know. Everything shows on you. But it’s nice. Very nice.”

“So what you’re saying is that I wear my heart on my sleeve?” This wasn’t the first time someone had told her that. In fact, that was what her mother had always said.

“And a very nice heart, and sleeve, they are. Oh, and before I put my foot back into my mouth, let me just say that you look beautiful this evening. That’s what I was trying to say a minute ago when I went so horribly wrong.”

“Not
horribly
wrong. Just a little wrong. And you’re forgiven.”

He laughed out loud. “Beautiful and brutally honest. No wonder my aunt liked you.” Settling in, Rafe stretched back in his chair. “Look, Edie, let
me
be brutally honest here for a minute. I don’t … don’t date. Don’t do relationships.”

“And you think that’s what my accepting your invitation is about? That I’d want a relationship … with
you?”
She could already feel the flush rising in her cheeks. “That I’d accept a date for pizza and expect a side order of commitment to go with it?”

Immediately, Rafe went rigid in his chair. “I feel my foot wedging in my mouth again.”

“Both feet,” she snapped. Sure, she was angry. And humiliated. Embarrassed, too. So much so that she tried to shove back her chair so she could stand and muster the dignity to march out of there. But Rafe stood first, caught her by the wrist on her way up, and had the decency to look a little embarrassed himself.

“Could we just start this over?” he asked.

“There’s nothing to start over,” she said, not sure whether she wanted to sit back down or stand all the way up and leave, the way she’d planned.

“I was trying to explain myself, Edie. That’s all. Trying to tell you a little bit about the way I am. which, as you can see, is pretty damned pathetic.”

Admittedly, he did look pathetic. Which was why she sat back down. She
was
curious about Rafe, was interested in hearing what made him tick. “OK, tell me. But it had better be good, Rafe Corbett, because so far I’m not impressed with your dating manners.”

“Neither am I.” He let go, then sat back down. “Which is why I need to explain myself. The thing is, Edie, I really don’t date, don’t get involved. For a lot of reasons I don’t want to get into this evening, it’s easier that way. So I’m rusty.”

So this
was
a real date in spite of what he’d said! Not a romantic date, but a date nonetheless. Suddenly, she was nervous again. “Trust me, you don’t know rusty.
That’s my middle name. But, in my defense, it’s fine. I don’t date, per se, either. Bad marriage aside, dating’s scary.”

“Ah, yes, the marriage thing. You don’t seem like the type who would un-commit once you’ve committed.”

“Well, I’m probably not, under normal circumstances. But it was a low point in my life. I was desperate, afraid of being alone, he seemed … nice. And he was. But not for me. So my mistake cost me a lot of time, but I suppose you could say I came out of it wiser.”

“Let me guess. You’re older and wiser, and you’ve taken some kind of vow against marriage. You’re never going near it again.”

Edie laughed. “Well, maybe I won’t go quite that far. But I did take a vow that the next one has to be the right one. The one and only. And my list of qualifications going in is pretty long, and stringent.”

“You have a list?”

“That’s the only way to do it these days. You decide what you want, and—”

“And go shopping with your list.” A fake frown covered his face. One that gave way to an amused grin. “I think you’re on to something, Edie. Maybe I should make a list of my own.”

“Starting with?” she asked.

“Hands down, this is the list topper. She has to make me laugh. Everything else is negotiable.”

“Then you’re pretty easy to please. Some lucky lady’s going to find you irresistible just for that alone.”

“That
alone?” He faked a wince. “That cuts to the core of my ego. A man likes to live in this delusion
that he’s irresistible in
other
ways. You know, that list thing. Most men do have their lists.”

And Rafe’s was a very long list. In fact, there was practically nothing about him that wasn’t irresistible. Which was turning into a big problem. “Well, in the defense of some men, maybe it’s not a delusion. Of course, maybe the list isn’t as long as they think it is either. But I suppose irresistible is in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it? And depending on the beholder, that list could be very long, or very short. So, if your only real requirement is that she has to make you laugh …” Edie leaned across the table to him. “I won’t say this too loud since you apparently don’t want to get caught, but you could be a sitting duck if you want to be. Look around you, Dr. Corbett. The world is full of women just waiting for the snap of a finger.”

He leaned even closer to Edie. “The thing is, Miss Parker, I’m probably the hardest man to please you’ll ever meet because I don’t laugh.”

She pulled back then folded her arms across her chest. “But you do, Rafe. All the time. Especially around Molly.”

“So to
you
that means that Molly is the one who’s supposed to catch me?”

“So to me that means you don’t know yourself as well as you think you do.”

“And
you
know me better than I know myself?”

Edie didn’t answer that. She didn’t have to, because the answer was obvious. At least, to her it was. In this matter, she
did
know him better. Which meant her biggest task was to introduce Rafe Corbett to Rafe Corbett. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. More than that, she wasn’t sure how yet.

The next fifteen minutes passed in a nondescript blur of inconsequential small talk—weather, current events, hospital—over a frosty pitcher of beer and, finally, a pizza. “Aunt Grace used to bring me here,” he said, as the server made a tableside production of cutting the pizza into slices. “Lilly Lake’s done a lot of growing since I’ve been gone, but this place … nice memories. Not much change either. Especially here,” he said, taking Edie’s plate and holding it up for the first slice.

“It is nice,” she agreed. Nice ambiance, the smell of the pizzas was wonderful, the servers all friendly. she felt good here. Felt like she belonged, which was something she hadn’t felt since her mother … “We used to have a little deli down the street. It was a lot like this place. Not fancy, but nice. You felt welcome, and sometimes, when my mother was feeling up to it.” She smiled, fighting back the memory. They hadn’t been able to afford the deli, but Mr. Rabinowicz, the owner, had never turned them away.

“You mother was sick?”

This wasn’t the topic of conversation she’d hoped for over dinner, but she’d started it, after all. “Sometimes … most of the time. But we managed …” She smiled sadly. “Most of the time.”

“Care to talk about it?”

“There’s not a lot to say, really.” She stared down at the slice of pizza on her plate. Didn’t want to see his expression, didn’t want to see his sympathy, or pity, as the case may be. She’d seen that too often in her life, didn’t want any more of it. “My mother had pernicious anemia. It was diagnosed when I was seven and lasted until, well …” She didn’t have to say the
words. He was a doctor. He knew the consequences of a condition where, in even the best cases, survival was measured in remissions and relapses that never stretched out into a normal life span. “Mum had good days as well as bad ones in the early years then we hit a mid-point where the doctors thought she might be achieving some sort of remission. False hope, of course. But it was nice while it lasted. Then came the relapse, and as the disease progressed to its end stage, the bad days started outweighing the good ones. That’s the nature of the disease, as you know, and the more debilitated my mother became, the more I took care of her. Consequently, I had more responsibility at home than most girls my age did.” Finally, she gained the courage to look at his face, and what she saw there was so compassionate it brought tears to her eyes. He wasn’t pitying her, or looking at her as some kind of martyr. He was simply understanding her words, maybe even understanding a little bit of her heart. Which scared her in ways she didn’t understand, in ways she didn’t want to understand.

“And you wouldn’t trade those years for anything, would you?” he asked.

“No, I wouldn’t. My mother was this wonderful fount of so much knowledge and love, and I never saw her frown, never even saw her get angry. I mean, she went through the worst, things you can’t even imagine, and she did it with so much grace and strength. She had a tough life, raising me alone, not much money coming in, always up and down in her health, but she never complained, never felt sorry for herself.” “No father?”

Edie shook her head. “He left before I was born.
Didn’t want the responsibility. The only thing my mother ever said about him was that he didn’t have the heart for it.”

“Kind words for a man who didn’t deserve them.” Rafe said, not even trying to hide the bitterness in his voice.