Carried Away: A Small Town Romance (The Moore Brothers Book 2) (14 page)

T
urns
out that a semi-secret MMA focused gym called The Pit looked every bit as intimidating as Ellie had imagined it would. It smelled. It was all concrete and harsh lighting and the central focus was what looked like a boxing ring in the middle of the cavernous room.

“That’s where the magic happens,” James said as they passed it.

“I’m not sure magical is the term I’d use to describe this place.”

But, by the end of the evening, Ellie was already talking about the next time she came back. She was so excited, she could barely sit still on the ride back to James’s house. “You were so totally right,” she said, rubbing her hands and flexing them, fascinated by the way they ached as they moved. “I so needed that. I think I’ve needed that since the day my dad died. When can we go back?”

James laughed, this gentle heart-warming sound. “Let’s wait and see how you feel in the morning, once the soreness has had a chance to set in.”

“I don’t think a little pain is going to talk me out of wanting to do this again and again.”

“That’s not what I was saying. What I meant was, let’s wait and see how sore you are so we can decide when your body will be ready for you to get back to the gym.”

All her life, Ellie focused on being strong. On standing up for herself and getting things done no matter what circumstances collided with her. And she did a damn good job of it, if she did say so herself. But, she never, not once, actually believed that she was strong. She never faced her circumstances with a true confidence in her ability to overcome them. She just knew that if she put her head down and kept moving, she could outlast things.

Tonight, as she learned how to throw a punch, how to position her body to gather more power behind her fist and how to shape her hand so she was less likely to get hurt, she felt strong. In control. It was the first time ever that she had truly felt confidence wash over her and sitting in the passenger seat of James Moore’s truck, heading back to his house after spending a day with his family as they pledged their desire to help her navigate through this latest batch of hard times … well … it was heady stuff.

James pulled into the driveway and Ellie hopped out of the truck before he even had the keys out of the ignition. “First one to the bathroom gets the first shower.” She raced up the steps to the porch.

“There’s a slight problem to your plan,” James said as he put one foot on the bottom stair and leaned on the railing. “The door’s locked.” He had his keying on his forefinger and spun it around.

“What’s it gonna take to get those keys from you, big boy.”

“You’re going to have to wrestle me for them.”

Ellie put a hand on her hip and gave James a suggestive look. “I’m sure there’s a better way.”

“Oh, sweet Ellie.” James leveled her with a predatory look and began moving up the stairs, keeping her pinned in place with his gaze. “I can think of so many different ways.”

When he reached her, he placed both his hands on either side of her head, pinning Ellie between his body and the door. Ellie went limp. Breathless. Her chest heaved as she met his hungry eyes, knowing that there was a heat to her own gaze. “And just what are those other ways?” She let her eyes drop to his lips. Arched her back ever so slightly so her breasts pressed into him. And then, on a whim, she put her hand between his legs and smiled when she found his erection pressing so firmly against his jeans that she could clearly feel the outline of the shaft and crown.

James groaned. No. It was more of a growl, his voice low and feral. He lowered his face to hers. She touched her tongue to his lips and then took his bottom lip between her teeth while squeezing his dick with her hand.

James kissed her. He took her face between his hands, the cold metal of the key ring pushing into her skin, contrasting the heat of his mouth on hers. He spread her legs with his knee, pushing his thigh against her throbbing clit. When Ellie sighed in appreciation, pressing her hips forward for even more friction, James smiled.

“Does that feel good, sweet Ellie?”

She nodded and rubbed her hand on his cock. “Does that feel good?”

In one swift movement, James had her hands in his, had them pinned behind her back. His lips tormented hers, the stubble of his beard raking across the tender skin of her mouth. She pulled on her arms, trying to free them from his grasp and only tightened the grip he had on her wrists. It sent a surge of heat between her legs.

“Stop fighting, Ellie.”

The authority in James’s voice melted her. She did as she was told, grinding her hips forward, desperate to feel the bulge of his cock pressed against her. James unlocked the door and pushed it open, took her in his arms and walked her into the house, his hands running up her back and right back down again to squeeze her ass. Somehow they made it upstairs and instead of guiding her into the bedroom, James took her into the bathroom. He turned on the shower.

“Take off your clothes. Let me see that body.”

Ellie took her time, pulling her shirt down so it went taut against her chest before she slowly lifted it over her head, tossing her hair and swiveling her hips as she dropped it to the floor. She let her eyes burn into his as she unbuttoned her shorts, pulling them down to reveal the thin white lace of her panties before letting them fall.

“All the way.” James gestured at her bra and undies.

“I’m feeling awfully lonely here, the only one naked. Join me?” She stepped towards him, her hands reaching for his shirt to pull it over his head. He grabbed her wrists

“Come on, James. You know you like it when I challenge you.”

James pulled his shirt over his head and then reached around to unhook her bra. She shrugged it off her shoulders and it joined the rest of the clothes on the bathroom floor.

“I never said I liked it. I just said you were the first one. I was speaking more about the way you tell the truth. I never said anything about liking being challenged in bed.”

“We’re not in bed,” Ellie said, cupping his dick. “We’re in the bathroom. And this guy down here says he likes what I’m doing very much.”

She got down on her knees, undoing his button and unzipping his pants and then pulling them down around his ankles as she went. “You’re such a dirty thing,” he said as she reached into his boxer briefs and stroked him. Slid his underwear down and sucked on his tip. He groaned and then reached down to pull her up. “I want you in the shower. Now.”

Ellie slipped off her panties and climbed in, the warm water pounding on her breasts and then her shoulders as she turned to face James. He ran his hands over her slick skin, cupped her breasts and pressed his hips into her. And then he spun her around so her back was to him, pressed forward on her shoulders and pulled back on her hips so her hands went to the wall and the water streamed down over her head and back.

James guided himself into her, moving slowly at first, giving her time to get used to being filled with him. The angle brought him deep inside her and as he gained speed, she found her voice, crying out as he slammed into her again and again. She looked down so the water ran off her forehead and chin rather than into her nose and mouth. Her breasts swayed in time with his thrusts.

“You like it when I take control, don’t you?” He changed his speed, slowing down and pulling himself almost all the way out before sliding himself back in, stroking her inner walls.

“Yes.” She moaned as he fully sheathed himself inside her. “I need it.”

He reached around and rubbed her clit and her muscles began to clench. “And you like it when I take care of you.”

Ellie wanted to throw her head back, but the water was pouring down on her head and streaming off her shoulders. “Oh, God, yes!’ She pushed her hips back, eager for him to build speed. “I need…” Water entered her mouth and she swallowed.

James picked up speed, driving himself into her with more force. “You need what?”

She needed him to move faster. To bring on the orgasm he was building for her. She needed the release. “I need…”

James slammed into her. Drove himself deep inside her. Again and again. Harder and deeper. “You need what?” His voice was a low growl.

“I need you!” Her orgasm shattered her, weakening her knees and obliterating her words and still James slid in and out of her, working himself up to his own orgasm. She held onto the wall for dear life as she continued to come, not trusting her legs to keep her upright.

“I want to come on your ass, Ellie.”

No one had ever said that to her before and it did something to her. Shifted something in her heart and deepened her own orgasm until she cried out with each of his thrusts until finally he was gone and she was empty and she heard him grunt behind her. Something warm slid between her cheeks and the water washed it away. She leaned her head on the wall and gasped for air, afraid to trust her legs and straighten.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” James sounded genuinely concerned and he ran a hand down her back.

“Oh, no. I’m not hurt. I just don’t think I can stand.” She pushed off the wall and turned to face him, her hair plastered to her head, back and shoulders. Water rushed off her breasts and poured off her hard nipples.

James grinned. “I take it that’s a good thing?”

“It’s a very good thing. The things you do to me…”

James reached around her and turned off the shower. “What do I do to you? Tell me all about it, and don’t skimp on the detail.”

“You do things to me that have never been done to me before.” Ellie shook her head. “Good things. Very good things.”

“Is that what you call detail?” James threw open the shower curtain and grabbed two towels, wrapped one around his waist and handed the other to Ellie.

“You’re lucky I can form coherent sentences after what you did to me. So yes, given the circumstance, I consider
very good things
to be detailed.” Ellie dried her hair and then wrapped the towel around her, let her eyes wander the contour of James’s back as he disappeared into his room to change.

She checked her face in the mirror and wiped away some of the mascara that had pooled below her eyes. James hadn’t come inside her and she was ashamed by how relieved she was by that because it only highlighted the fact that she’d lied to him last night. And now, he thought she was on birth control and would want to come inside her every time. Tonight was a fluke. A gift from some god somewhere who had taken mercy on her after a terrible day. She couldn’t count on him to want to keep pulling out.

She was either going to have to tell him the truth or get her ass to the gynecologist to get some free samples and get her ass on the pill. She much preferred option B. If she admitted to the lie, it would shatter the trust he’d built in her. And rightfully so. Lying to him about being on the pill was a vile thing. She just couldn’t bring herself to tell him.

E
llie leaned back
in her beach chair and dug her toes into the sand. The sun sank low, dipping towards the horizon line, and sent a spray of glitter across the waves that broke out beyond the shore. James was at The Pit tonight, sparring with Ethan and Oliver. Ellie had plans to go, but didn’t feel so great and begged off. She’d been looking forward to going. James had hired a trainer for her, a woman who knew just how to help Ellie feel less awkward about being aggressive. Plus, as crazy as it was, she kind of liked watching James fight.

He turned into an absolute predator. His body strong. His eyes hungry. And he moved so fast. He struck like lightening, in and out before anyone had a chance to understand what they saw, and then boom! His opponent was down. It made her proud to be his, and sad to remember she really wasn’t his all at the same time.

And that just brought up a huge mess of conflicting emotions, because after a couple weeks living with James, working with him and his family rebuilding Good Beginnings, Ellie was afraid she was actually falling in love with him. And to make matters worse, her period was Officially Late. She had made it to the doctor the Monday after that appalling lie had slithered out of her mouth and got some samples of the pill. Started taking them the very next day. She was only a few days late, and maybe it was psychosomatic. Maybe it was because of the pills themselves. She was supposed to wait and take them the first day of her period, but she hadn’t. So maybe that had messed things up.

She hoped.

Because if that wasn’t it, then it was
her
who had messed things up.

Anxiety churned in her stomach. Sitting out here in the setting sun, watching the ocean waves break on the beach, feeling the wind dance in her hair, that was supposed to calm her. The whole reason she drug the chair out to the sand in the first place was to get some fresh air. To stare out at the ocean and feel small for a while so that maybe she could get some perspective on her own troubles. It wasn’t working. Her thoughts were poisonous and full of thorns. Even if there was one tiny part of her that thrilled at the thought of having a baby. Not just any baby. James’s baby.

She found herself smiling, just this tiny little private smile. And then she remembered that she was broke. That she could barely support herself. That she wasn’t married. And hell! She wasn’t even really dating the guy who might be a father. A guy who wasn’t emotionally strong enough for her to drop a bombshell like this in her lap.

And so the smile dissipated and Ellie sat in her chair, chewing her lip, worrying the edges of her shirt. If she kept going like this, she would make herself sick. She needed to talk to someone, to get all this out of her head. Without giving herself much time to think, she called Tessa.

Tessa answered after the third ring. “Hey lovely lady!” She sounded out of breath.

“Hey yourself. What’re you doing?”

“Just scurrying around, trying not to be late to work. What about you?”

Ellie’s heart sunk. Of course, now was not the time to try and put all of this stuff on Tessa’s shoulders. “Oh, nothing. Just checking up on you.” Ellie tried to smile as she spoke because there was no better way to hide what you were feeling than behind a smile. But her jaw just got tight and her voice broke and for what might be the first time in her life, Ellie couldn’t get the mask down in time.

“That’s not true. I can hear it in your voice. What’s wrong?”

Ellie wanted to contradict Tessa, tell her everything was fine and just carry the burden of her worries herself, but she opened her mouth and the truth fell out. “I think I really messed up big time.”

“Oh, no. You fell in love with him, didn’t you?”

“No.” Ellie held her phone with her shoulder and flared her hands. “I mean yes. But that’s not the problem.” She hated the way her voice was getting all quaky and quavery. She was the queen of holding back tears. Why she couldn’t get them pushed back into place now eluded her.

“What happened?” Tessa asked, sounding concerned.

“I think I’m pregnant.” Ellie filled her in on the whole story. The lie she told. The emergency trip to the gynecologist. Her sore breasts and late period.

“You haven’t told him?”

“No.” Ellie fought back a sob. “How could I? I mean, I know I have to, but everything’s so amazing right now. I’m living in his house. He and his family are helping me rebuild my cafe; they’re pouring money into it like it’s theirs. Or, rather, like
I’m
theirs. Like I’m one of them. And I’m not.”

“Ellie…”

“And you know what makes it worse? I’m in love with him. Like full on, head over heels, totally madly deeply in love. He’s everything I’ve ever needed. He’s strong enough to support me emotionally. Here I am, supposed to be helping him heal after the love of his life shattered his heart and
he’s
the one helping
me
heal. Talking to me about my foster parents. Helping me feel valuable. Needed. And what do I do to repay it? I lie to him. About something that will just fuck up his whole life.”

“Ellie…”

“And to make it all worse. I want this. I want him. I want to have his baby. I want to be part of his family. I want to feel protected and I want to make him feel cherished and right now, in this very instant, I have it all. I have what I want. But it’s all an illusion. The moment I tell him, it’ll all blow away. Or, I don’t tell him and just wait until after Ian’s wedding. Either way, this moment where I have it all? It’s a house of cards.”

“Ellie! Will you shut the fuck up?”

Ellie blinked and fell silent.

“First things first. You have to tell him. You can’t hide this from him and the longer you do, the harder you're gonna make things. In fact, the longer you keep this from him, the less chance you have of keeping the relationship alive.”

“But—”

“Don’t talk. Let me finish. It’s clear that James cares about you, too. He moved you into his house, for God’s sake. He’s rebuilding your cafe, and sweetie? I’ve been in there. He’s not sparing time or expense, is he?” Tessa waited for the smallest noise of affirmation from Ellie before continuing. “You can kid yourself all you want and say that he’s doing this to make your fake relationship seem real, but you know and I know that he’s going way beyond the call of duty here.”

Ellie swallowed hard. Tessa was right. And on some level, Ellie had known it all along. “What do I do?” she asked.

“You’ve got to tell him.”

“But what if I’m not actually pregnant?”

“Well, hell, Ellie! Of course you should find out first. But that’s not hard. A quick trip to the drugstore and then pee on a stick and you’ll know. This isn’t rocket science.”

Ellie laughed, a tight, self-deprecating sound. “No. It’s harder.”

“You’re probably right about that.”

Ellie heard the jingle of keys and the closing of a door through the phone. “Are you leaving? I should let you go. I’m sorry to bother you with all this silliness.”

“Nonsense. First, it’s not silliness and I keep telling you that’s what I’m here for. Friends help with the hard stuff, you know. And second, I want to talk about happier things. Keep me company on my way to work and tell me all the good stuff that’s happened to you.”

Ellie sighed. “I feel like my life is a fairy tale.”

“It is, though. You’re Cinderella! Living in your beach house with your rich prince after scraping away in that tiny hovel of an apartment.”

“Right, but Cinderella got the prince in the end. She didn’t get pregnant and ruin everything.”

Ellie heard the slam of a car door and the roar of Tessa’s engine. “Nope. Stop right there. I don’t want to hear about the worry and the bad stuff. We’ve already covered that. You know what to do. We’ll deal with what to do next after you’ve taken your test. For now, tell me what’s good.”

Ellie talked about how every day they showed up to work on the renovations for Good Beginnings and found another resident of Bliss waiting with a donation or an offer of help. She talked about how Juliet and Ian basically gutted the place and were rebuilding it from the inside out. How Harry had donated kitchen items and his expertise and advice on how to improve her layout. How Lilah had designed the color palette to be more welcoming. How she and James had spent days side by side rebuilding the place together.

Ellie talked about how he seemed to see inside her, to understand all that was broken, all the mistrust she had built up over the years. How he didn’t
try
to fix it, he just made it all seem better by being around. How James himself was some sort of medicine.

“And I just love feeling like I’m part of his family. It’s something I never had…”

“I know. I’m really happy for you. This is everything you ever needed.”

“But it’s slipping through my hands.”

“Shush. Don’t focus on that. Stay positive. What else? What else is good?”

Ellie thought hard. “Juliet and Ian are having a Halloween party. Costumes and everything. Kind of a late engagement party kind of thing. James wants to go as the Hulk, but I have no idea what I should be.”

“You guys should totally go as the Terminator and Sarah Connor.”

A couple’s costume. Ellie loved the idea and hated that she loved the idea all at the same time. She ached at the thought she and James weren’t really a couple. At the thought that she was busy fooling herself into believing he cared for her. She knew Tessa was trying to help her ignore that ache, to help her focus on where she was instead of where she was afraid she would end up, but Ellie couldn’t ignore the facts. Couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling in her gut that she finally had everything she’d ever wanted and was just about to lose it.

Tessa was right. She needed to stop worrying and start doing. She needed to get off her ass and find out if she was really pregnant. She couldn’t know how to move forward until she knew what moving forward looked like. Was she trying to figure out how to tell James she loved him and didn’t want things to end after Ian’s wedding? Or was she trying to figure out how to tell James all of that with the added confusion of adding a baby into the mix.

Dear God. How had she let things get so far out of hand?

“When’s the party?” Tessa interrupted her thoughts and Ellie wondered how long she’d sat silent on the phone.

“This weekend. Saturday night.”

“So that gives you what? Three days to get the costumes together?”

And three days to figure out what the hell I’m going to do.

“Yep. That’ll be more than enough time, don’t you think?”

“For sure, especially if you go the Terminator and Sarah Connor route. Those costumes should be easy.”

“No doubt.” Ellie got the smile back into her voice even though her mind was churning through worries and plans and
what if’
s.

“You feeling better?” Tessa asked. “You sound like you’re feeling better.”

“So much better. Thank you.”

Tessa said her goodbyes and made Ellie promise to call her the moment she knew anything. Ellie promised and hung up. She did feel better, though not because she was relieved. She felt better because she had a plan, or at least the very beginnings of a plan.

First things first, she would stop worrying and start doing. She gathered her chair and her phone and trekked back into the house. Grabbed her purse and drove to the pharmacy. Then drove to a gas station and sat in the car while she tried to build up her confidence to go inside.

It would be better to know. Better to take action. But she couldn’t help but feel, as she walked through the empty convenience store and locked herself into the bathroom, that she was opening a window and unleashing the wind on her house of cards.