Cash (Sexy Bastard #2) (21 page)

If only I could work up the courage to
tell her, she might be able to piece together the remains of my
shattered heart. But Cassie doesn’t need my emotional baggage.
She has more than enough from her ex-husband, the last thing she
needs is to know about Tanner the asshole.

We stop at the Village Flea Market and
grab food before we wander through the stalls. It’s pleasantly
crowded this morning as we dig into the melee.

“All right, game plan,” I
say, fully embracing the day. I am not going to sit around thinking
about Cash Gardner and the number of women he’s had around
Atlanta. After the abrupt end to our date last night, I stayed up
late, too confused about the number of about faces we seem to do.
We’d have a great time on a ‘maybe date’ and then
something would trip Cash up and suddenly we’d be off kilter.
Then it was a round of blow my mind sex and we’d slide back
into casual company. Before I’d cross some line, Cash would
shut down and start the cycle over again.

“Well, I’m
here to get furniture. You’re here because you’re my
haggling expert of a friend and to celebrate the fact that you got a
promotion.”

In the aftershocks of Cash and me, I’d
completely forgotten I’d achieved the one thing I’ve been
working toward for months.

“It’s not that big of a
deal.”

“Nope, nope, you don’t get
to down play this card. You’re head of your department—you
apparently won even your awful boss, Meanie.”

“Meyers,” I correct her
more out of habit. Although I’d like to just agree with her.
Meyers has never been considered nice. “And how did you find
out?”

“Jackson was on the phone with
Ryder last night—they were going over plans for The Library and
apparently Cash told Jackson and Jackson told—whatever, the
point is I know and I am very angry that you didn’t tell me
yourself.”

I wince. Cassie should have been one of
the first people I called. Although to be fair, my own parents don’t
even know yet. “I’m sorry, Cas,” I say.

“I will forgive you on one
condition,” Cassie says, throwing an arm around my shoulders.
We plow through the crowd together and I wait for my sentence.
Cassie’s grinning like a fool doing her best to lift my sagging
spirits.

“I throw myself on your mercy.”

“Oh, I plan to put your haggling
skills to good use.”

“I didn’t rack up all that
student debt for nothing.” Ah the life of a lawyer, constantly
being dragged around for my skills.

“If you wanted that, you should
have grabbed me a straight espresso instead of this.”

“Since when do you shoot straight
espresso?”

I mumble something into my cup and take
another hit, hoping to find its normal reassuring affects. No such
luck.

If I wanted to avoid what was bothering
me, it would have been wise to ignore my switch in caffeine. Cassie
may be caught up in her new love affair, but she’s
still my best friend. I am toast.

Fuck my life.

“Savannah…” Cassie
says, her voice tinged with warning. I have about three seconds to
build a defense before she goes full on best friend mode and ferrets
out what’s wrong with me.

“So is this for your house or
Ryder’s condo?” I walk over to
the closest booth with furniture. There is literally nothing in the
booth I would consider recommending to Cassie, but it’s a new
subject. Silently, I send a prayer that Cassie won’t let me get
away. I’m so tired of fighting and if I’m going to go up
in flames, I want to trust Cassie to control the burn.

She narrows her eyes at me. “You
are allowed this one diversion,” she warns. “And yes,
it’s for Ryder’s
condo.”

If there was one person I could trust
with this whole debacle it would be Cassie. She would understand more
than anyone else in the world. But I just can’t make myself
tell her. It would put a damper on our whole day.

“Hmmm, so something more
feminine? Is his place super modern?”

“Well, he’s
certainly not French country.” I crack a laugh. It can’t
be helped. “Yeah, classic lines I think, but with a fresh take.
Something you wouldn’t think would work—”

“But does?”
I finish for her. We relax back into casual conversation. This ease
between us lasts most of the morning. We cruise through the flea
market, laughing over trinkets and seriously considering a few
pieces. Cassie falls for a coffee table made of crates that had been
mounted on industrial casters. It was something she was dead set on
getting, but not willing to spend the nine hundred dollars the seller
wanted.

“Are you sure you couldn’t
do four fifty?” Cassie asks.

“That’s almost half off.”

In fact, I add silently, it is half
off. Easy prey.

“Cassie, come
on, it’s not worth it—not at that price at least,”
I say, linking arms with her. “Plus, there’s a table at
the end of this row you have to see.” Rule number one when
haggling: it’s best to let the opposition know that you have no
problem walking away. “It’s a gem. Trust me, Ryder will
absolutely love it.”

Rule number two, remind the seller
there are literally a million other options better than the one they
have.

I pull Cassie away. When she doesn’t
show any sign of leaving, I pull harder. Come on, work with me here.

“What are you doing? I really
want that table,” she whispers. I really do love my best
friend, but sometimes I wonder why she doesn’t follow my lead
more. It was her idea to bring me along for my haggling skills.

“When he stops us, look real sad,
but let me do the talking. Got it?”

A wicked smile spreads across her face
and I know I’ve been forgiven for separating her from her
treasure. “This is why I brought you.” She throws her
arms around me, wrapping me in a hug I’m not prepared for. The
sudden contact shatters any shield I have against her. If she asked
me about Cash right now, I’d tell her everything, starting with
Tanner and ending with last night’s disaster.

“All right, all right, I can drop
it down to five hundred. Just for you, though,” the seller says
before we can take another step. We stop and I turn around. Time for
the real work to begin.

“I dunno, this other table is
perfect. Great lines, and I think Ryder would really go for it.”
Cassie puts on one heck of a show, going all pouty face. The seller
wavers. Time to go in for the kill. “And it’s getting
late in the day.”

“I like this one,” Cassie
adds again, running a hand lovingly over the table. Don’t over
play it, girl.

I scrutinize the table again. “You
could make this for fifty bucks. Three hundred.” Inwardly I
cringe. That might have been too low ball. The trick is to go lower
than you’re willing to pay but not so low as to insult them.

“Five.”

“The other one is four and
willing to negotiate. Three seventy five.”

“Four.”

“Done,” I say with a
self-satisfied smile. I may not be able to have a handle on my love
life, but this, I can do this until the cows come home. “Cassie,
pay the man.”

As Cassie signs the paper and makes
arrangements to have the table delivered to Ryder’s condo, I
wander over to the other booths. Not really looking for anything,
just avoiding the inevitable. We’ve accomplished most of what
we came here to do. When Cassie comes back to me, I know that my
reprieve is over.

The moment of truth has come. I pick up
a set of tea cups and hold them up for her approval. She stares at
them as if to say, seriously? Yes, it was a stupid shield, but can
you blame me?

“Which one first old boy or
current one?” Cassie asks. Always direct, that best friend of
mine. Having had the morning to mull over my feelings, it’s
easier to let them out now.

“Current,” I say setting
aside the pointless trinkets. Cassie takes my arm and we walk up the
aisle, no longer pretending to look at the wares laid out.

“Someday when you want to talk
about it, you can talk to me about the old boy. You know that,
right?”

I nod my head. Of course I know that
Cassie would listen; she’d probably understand more than anyone
else about the scars Tanner Jakes left on my heart, but I just don’t
want to talk about it.

“But you want to talk about Cash?
Just a friendly reminder, I reserve the right to kick him when he’s
down if he hurts you.” Cassie takes her duty to me very
seriously. Ever since the horrible incident with her ex, she’s
ready to beat anyone who threatens any of her friends. Even if it
pits her against another friend and, possibly, her lover.

“Duly noted.”

“So…” She leads, and
when I don’t answer she goes a step further. “What’s
the hang up? Please tell me he’s having issues in bed.”

“That’s the one place we
are perfectly in sync.” I chuck my empty latte cup and let out
the feeling I’ve been bottling up since Cash Gardner first
stepped into my love life. “Look, I’m
not stupid. I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for this
crazy ride. I wanted to go into this with open eyes—and I did.
It’s not like I thought….” How do I say this? Just
rip the band aid off as Cash would say. The truth will always come
out at some point, might as well just get the pain out of the way. “I
know Cash has…a past with women.”

“You mean the fact that he’s
a manwhore.”

“Okay, that’s
a little unfair, don’t you think?”

“I believe that was your word, my
friend.”

“I know. And I knew that going
in, right? I can do the math, even if he only had two girls a week,
on a minimum of five years, then he’s been with at least five
hundred and twenty women—five hundred and twenty-one if you
include me. And that’s just the bare minimum.” It turned
my stomach, but I knew that—I never let him forget it. Then it
comes out of me before I can stop it. “I guess if we’re
sticking to past precedent, he doesn’t do long term
relationships. And I knew that, but… I
don’t just want to be the fucking five hundred and
twenty-first.”

Cassie stops in her
tracks. Yes, I’m sorry my friend, but I did just say I
wanted something long term with Cash Gardner, the notorious
womanizer. It takes Cassie about five seconds to get herself back
together and catch up with me.

“Can I ask you something?”
Cassie says casually. I motion for her to go on. “Okay here it
is. The serious question. Do you like him as more than just a hook up
buddy?”

I couldn’t say it out loud. It
had been the thing I’ve been trying to stop since that first
night. Because if I could deny it enough times, maybe I’d
finally get it out of my head. Maybe that traitorous heart of mine
would finally see reason and I’d not shatter into a million
pieces when he moved on to girl 522.

The thought makes my fingers curl into
a fist.

“Yes, but it wasn’t
supposed to happen like that.” It was supposed to be a quick
fling. Something to rub off the tarnish Tanner Jakes left on me. This
thing with Cash was never supposed to be more than that.

“I know.” Cassie wraps an
arm around me and steers us down another aisle. This one is filled
mostly with jewelry and smaller decorative items. She lets us just
wander for a few moments. She finds a pair of gold dangly earrings
and asks if they fit her new look. They’re perfect for her.

“You should wear them to The
Library’s opening,” I say. Her eyes go wide, like it’s
the first time she’s thought of it.

“I did just get this little black
dress and these would be perfect.”

“You’re so fucking getting
them,” I order. Cassie pays for her newest piece of jewelry and
then turns back to me. I knew I wasn’t lucky enough to get out
of the rest of the issue.

“Have you talked to Cash about
this at all?”

“And say what? ‘You know
how we’ve been hooking up—I think I’d like to make
it permanent’? He can’t think beyond what is right in
front of him. How am I supposed to trust someone who can’t
stand to talk about the future or the past?”

“From everything I got out of
Ryder—I’m your best friend, I’m allowed to look
into your boyfriend’s past—Cash
may be a little thick-headed and sometimes gets a wild hair that
makes him unpredictable. But he’s a good guy. When it comes to
his friends and family, Cash would go to the mat for them.”

“Am I the only person who thinks
Cash has been acting strange?”

“Strange how?”

I tell her the whole sordid tale of our
possible relationship. The dates he just ends without warning. Phone
calls that pull him completely out of the moment. We’re great
in bed and I can’t get him out of my head, but that doesn’t
mean he’s shooting completely straight with me. He knows all of
my secrets, but I can’t get past his surface facade.

“He seems normal to me, but I
don’t know Cash very well. I know Ryder’s vouched for
him, but…” Her voice trails off.

There’s nothing more I would love
to do than to believe Ryder’s opinion. Cash is a good guy, but
there is something he’s keeping from me. The problem with his
here and now philosophy is that we don’t live just in the now,
we’re the product of the past.

If that Morgan girl can throw him off
that much, maybe they were more than just one-night stands. He still
loves her—maybe? I don’t know, and it’s driving me
crazy here.

“We just met this girl last night
and it’s like they have a history. Like, a real one, and I
can’t understand why he might lie to me like that. Especially
when he knows about Tanner.”

Cassie trails her hand over a large
silver plate. “I’m gonna wager a guess here. The boy we
do not speak of, he lied to you, didn’t he? Like big time, it
fucked your relationship completely sort of lie.”

I take a deep breath and take the
plunge. “Yes.”

If I knew then that Tanner Jakes would
continue to screw with my love life, I would have walked away long
before he could stitch himself into my heart. Now it’s too
late, and my wounds haven’t completely healed.