Cassidy Lane (35 page)

Over what was
wrong with her.

Before she could
speculate further over where this was going, he put his hands over hers. “I want to try again.”

She caught her
breath. “What?”

He squeezed her
hands. “I want to try again. With you. With us.”

She looked at
him. His beautiful gray eyes were alive again, staring at her with an intensity that suggested he meant what he said. But she couldn’t forget the emptiness that had been there the last time she’d seen him. That memory still haunted her.

“Why?” she whispered.

“A couple of
weeks after you came by to give me those cuff links, things finally began to settle down a bit. At first my thoughts were still consumed with the well-being of my mom and my kids, but when my head finally began to clear, I started thinking about what makes
me
happy.”

Cassidy stared at
him, still in shock that he was really here, that this was really happening.

He took a
deep breath and continued. “What I’m trying to say is, my mom’s situation made me realize how important it is to hold on to happiness when you’re lucky enough to find it, because life can change so fast. Then I started thinking about you again, and soon I couldn’t stop.”

She still didn’t
respond.

He squeezed her
hands. “I kept thinking about how much you make me laugh. About how smart and thoughtful you are, and how patient you were with me. About how you’ve been
so
good at creating a life that makes you happy, and how you never give up when something is important to you. I kept thinking about how much I loved getting to know you, and how I didn’t want that to end.”

She felt tears
welling up in her eyes. She didn’t want it to end either, but she was too afraid to say so out loud.

She was too
afraid to utter a word. So she remained silent.

He squeezed her
hands again. “Can you please say something?”

Finally, she found
her voice. “You don’t think it’s too complicated? With your mom, and your boys, and the distance?”

“It’s always going
to be complicated, but I want to make room in my life for you, Cassidy. I need to make room in my life for you. I thought I couldn’t do it before, but I realize now how important you are to me, and I’m willing to fight to make it work. I’m willing to fight for you, to fight for us.”

She stared at
him, still thunderstruck by what was happening. How many times had she dreamed about this moment?

Finally, he released
her hands, then gestured to his wrist. “What do you think?”

She realized he
was wearing the cuff links. “Are you referring to the cuff links or your offer to try this again?”

“Both.”

“Well, the cuff
links look fantastic. Someone clearly has exquisite taste, if I do say so myself.”

“That is most
definitely true. Now what about my offer?”

She smiled. “I
think…I think you’re making a compelling argument for my acceptance, Counselor.”

He smiled back.
“I’m glad to learn my debating skills serve a purpose beyond the courtroom. You know, I wore the cuff links today because I was hoping this would be a special occasion. If you’re up for it, I have the whole evening planned for us.”

“You do?”

“I want to
treat you the way you’ve treated me, and I plan to start right now, if you’ll let me.
Want to hear the agenda?”

“I could be
convinced to hear the agenda.”

“I was thinking
we could spend the rest of the afternoon wandering around North Beach, then enjoy a romantic dinner at Cafe Jacqueline. Afterward, if we’re not too tired, I thought it would be fun to stop by the Starlight Room, perhaps the one place in the entire Bay Area we can go dancing without feeling old.”

She laughed. “That’s
probably true. But dancing? For real?” Outside of Harper’s birthday party, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d danced anywhere other than at a wedding.

“Consider tonight the
prom, just a couple of decades removed. I want to make up for all the knuckleheads in high school, including yours truly, who didn’t ask you back then.”

She glanced down
at her simple black dress. It was pretty but plain. “You, as always, look quite dapper, but I’m hardly dolled up for the prom.”

“You always look
stunning. Have I ever told you that?”

“If you did
I probably forgot. If I remember anything, it’s that I remember nothing.”

He chuckled. “Well,
it’s true. Cassidy Leigh Lane, you are a truly beautiful woman. So what do you say? Will you be my prom date?”

She wiped a
tear from her eye and nodded.

He reached for
her hands again. “Is that a yes?”

“That’s a yes.”

They stared at
each other for a few moments, and then his face slowly broke into a smile. “Just so you know, I’m not going to wait for you to ask me to kiss you this time. Are you OK with that?”

She smiled back.
“I’m OK with that.”

“Good.” He squeezed
her hands one more time, then leaned over and kissed her.

Cassidy stared at
the words on the screen in front of her, a weary half smile on her face.

She sighed and
slowly shook her head.

Oh, Brandon Forrester
…what could have been.

Just then the
sound of an ambulance screeching by outside snapped her mind back into the present. She also noticed the humming of her air conditioner.

I’m in Manhattan.

I’m in my
apartment.

It’s summer.

She glanced out
of the window for a moment, then back at her laptop to read over the final scene once more before typing
THE END
into the last page of the manuscript. She hit save, then took a deep breath, stood up, and stretched her arms over her head.

She’d done it.

She’d written a
book not so loosely based on what had happened between her and Brandon.

Only with a
very different ending.

A happy ending.

She glanced at
the clock on the lower right-hand corner of her monitor. It was nearly eight o’clock. She’d been at her desk all day and was looking forward to getting outside for a run, especially now that it had probably cooled off a bit. It wouldn’t be dark until nearly nine, so she still had time.

She walked into
the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water, then leaned against the counter.

This time she
smiled for real.

I’ve really done
it.

Now she just
had to go back and change the names of the main characters, plus some identifying details. While all her novels had autobiographical elements to them, this was the first manuscript in which she’d actually used the real names of those people who had inspired the central figures—Brandon, Patti, Harper, Danielle, even herself. She’d written the initial draft with real names to bring authenticity to the writing and planned for them to be temporary placeholders, but seeing those names in front of her had unleashed a creative energy she hadn’t expected, so she’d run with it. Then she’d become immersed in the writing, and after that she hadn’t looked back. Perhaps it had been the timing of when she’d begun writing the book, shortly after that dark yet illuminating encounter with Brandon on New Year’s Day, after she’d run into a brokenhearted Molly Benson and learned that Darlene was in a less than ideal marriage. At that moment in her life, nothing had been the way she wanted it to be, or imagined it would be, so she’d poured her disillusion and disappointment into the novel, where she could right wrongs and let the good people win.

It was bittersweet—if
not outright painful—to put the heartache of her doomed relationship with Brandon down on paper, but doing so had helped her heal, and accept, and begin to move on, however reluctantly.

And now she’d
created a novel out of it.

One in which
Cassidy would become Melanie.

And Brandon would
become Andrew.

Their story, told
a different way.

A tale of
what could have been.

In truth she’d
never heard from Brandon after that conversation on his front step. She’d reached out a couple of times to say hi, but he hadn’t responded. After that she’d spent weeks, which slowly melted into months, quietly hoping he’d get in touch—and trying, albeit unsuccessfully, to stop herself from doing so. She’d cried more than she wanted to admit, something even Patti didn’t know, but eventually the medicinal benefits of time began to replace the pain with insight, and now she felt genuine compassion for him. He was a decent person faced with an extraordinary combination of difficult circumstances, and he needed to put his family first. As a man should.

Or…
maybe he’d just lost interest.

Or…
maybe there was someone else.

She’d probably never
truly
know why their romance had imploded, but for whatever reason, their story was over, and she wished him the best. In a strange way she was grateful to him; he’d shown her she could open her heart again after Dean, whose rejection she once feared would haunt her forever. Plus the heartache she’d suffered from their ill-fated entanglement, while extremely painful, had led to the idea for this new book.

And now, nearly
seven months later, she had written it.

With the ending
she’d once wanted so desperately for herself, but which she no longer needed.

I’m whole again.

That recognition alone
was enough to make her smile.

I’m me again.

She set the
glass in the sink, then lightly skipped into her bedroom to change into her running clothes.

Life was good
again.

On the way
out of her building, Cassidy ran into Harper and Vanessa, baby in tow. Little Morgan was nearly a month old now.

“Hi, Harper; hi,
Vanessa.” She peered into the stroller and waved. “Hi there, little girl.”

“Off for a
run?” Harper asked.

Cassidy smiled as
she stood up. “A celebratory run. I just finished my book.”

“Already?” Vanessa said.
“That’s wonderful, Cassidy.”

Cassidy put her
hands on her hips. “Thanks. It didn’t take quite nine months, but I guess in a way it’s like I just gave birth too.”

Vanessa put her
hand on her stomach. “I’m jealous. I wish
I
could go running right now. It’s all I can do to waddle my fat body into the elevator.”

Cassidy rolled her
eyes. “Please, you look great.” She had been pleasantly surprised at how down-to-earth Vanessa had turned out to be, especially since she’d had Morgan. Despite the unconventional way they’d fallen into their roles as parents, she and Harper seemed to be getting along well, and Cassidy was rooting for them as a couple. She was glad Harper had never read her books, and she knew for a fact Vanessa only read magazines. The pregnancy storyline she’d written into her new novel ended with a less than flattering portrayal of Vanessa, but she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. She might need to change how that storyline was resolved, in case either of them ever did read it. Harper certainly appeared happy enough, so perhaps fatherhood wasn’t the worst thing for him.

As for Brandon,
if he ever read the book, she could only hope he’d realize how much she had cared for him, and how sad she’d been when things hadn’t worked out, for whatever reason.

Cassidy pointed toward
the lobby exit. “I’m going to head out before it gets dark. See you soon?”

Harper touched Morgan’s
nose. “Say good-bye to Auntie Cassie, little girl.”

Cassidy waved good-bye,
then set out for Central Park. It was a gentle, balmy summer evening, and she wanted to enjoy it before the sun set.