Cast Me Gently (28 page)

“I’m sure.” Teresa walked up to the reception desk where a large black man was listening to a Pirates game on a radio.

“Excuse me?” Teresa smiled at him. “I was told by the police that my stolen dog had been found and brought here.”

“What’s the name?” the man asked, pulling a clipboard off a hook.

“The dog’s name? Or mine?”

The man tilted his head and looked at her. “The dog’s.”

“Lucy.”

“I don’t see no Lucy.”

“Well, she was stolen,” Teresa said. “They didn’t know her name. That’s why I’m here. May we go back and look at the dogs?”

He glanced at the radio where the announcer was shouting about a double play. With an irritated shake of his head, he pushed heavily to his feet. “This way.”

“What are you doing?” Bernie asked in an undertone.

Teresa shushed her and followed the attendant through a metal door, where their sudden entrance prompted nearly all of the dogs there to start barking. Teresa scanned the cages as they walked down the central aisle until she saw a brown dog cowering in the back of her cage.

“This one.”

He stopped. “You sure?”

“I know my own dog,” Teresa said. She could see Bernie’s mouth drop at the lies she was telling and hoped the man wouldn’t notice how obvious she was being.

He unlocked the door of the cage and Teresa squatted down, holding out some dog treats she’d thought to put in her pocket. “Lucy. Lucy, it’s me. Come on, girl.”

She held her breath for several seconds as Lucy simply stared at her, and then she crab-walked toward Teresa, wagging her whole back end, crouching and whining as she licked Teresa’s face.

“Guess it’s your dog, all right,” the attendant said. “I got to have you sign for her.”

Teresa stood and patted her leg. “Come on, Lucy.”

“You can’t take her out of here like that,” he said. “She got no collar, and you got no dog license or leash.”

Teresa thought quickly. “I guess the guy who stole her got rid of her collar with her tags. I’ll pay for her license again if you have a bit of rope I could use.” She gave him another smile, and he sighed.

“Follow me.” He led the way back to the reception desk where he slapped a form on the counter. “Fill that out.”

Fifteen minutes later, Lucy was in the back seat of the car, and Bernie was staring at Teresa. “Did that concussion do something to you? Where the hell did you learn to lie like that?”

Teresa gave her a sardonic look. “I grew up with you. And I’m finally learning it doesn’t always pay to be honest. I knew they’d never let me have her to take care of her for Dogman, and I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her in that place.”

“Shit.” Bernie started the ignition. “I am impressed. So, where to now?”

“The city jail.”

“I think this is everything.”

Ellie had Teresa’s clothes packed up in boxes and shopping bags. Bernie stood there, looking hesitant to grab them and go.

“Do you want to sit down?” Ellie asked, pointing toward the kitchen table.

“Yeah, I do.” Bernie pulled out a chair and dropped into it.

“Coke?”

“Thanks.”

Ellie got out two cans of Coke and joined her.

Bernie popped the top of her can. “I miss the tabs. Remember pulling them off and wearing them like rings?”

Ellie smiled a little. “Where is she?”

“At Rob’s. Her mother’s pissed, but she didn’t want to go home.”

Ellie glanced up at Bernie. “How is she?”

Bernie didn’t answer right away. She reached for her cigarettes, then seemed to remember where she was and put them back in her purse. “Different. She changed when she met you, but this is different. She doesn’t laugh. She doesn’t really talk much. I think whatever those bastards did to her in that alley really messed
her up.”

Ellie nodded, but her eyes were dry. She seemed to have cried herself out. “And she blames me.”

Bernie sighed. “I’m afraid she does.” She leaned her elbows on the table. “I wish you’d go talk to her. It’s stupid for y’uns to let this end without even talking. If it still ends after you talk, then okay. You’ll deal with it. But this is bullshit.”

Ellie shook her head, her fingertip drawing patterns in the frost on her can. “I can’t. You saw what she was like in the hospital.”

“Do you love her?”

“What?” Ellie looked up.

Bernie set her can down hard. “I said, do you fucking love her?”

“Yes. Of course I do.”

“Then fight for her, goddammit.” Bernie glared at her. “I have waited my entire life for what you two have. I would kill for someone to want me that bad. Yes, she’s scared and angry and traumatized by what happened. Fight for her! Help her through this. Isn’t she worth it?”

Ellie stared into Bernie’s eyes. Her mouth opened and closed. “I’ll… I’ll think about it.”

CHAPTER 29

Teresa and Lucy walked
the sidewalks of Rob and Karen’s neighborhood, appreciating the thick shade of the sheltering trees warding off the hot June sun. Even in the shade, Teresa wore dark sunglasses, as her eyes were still sensitive to bright light. Lucy was on a leash, but there was no need. She never strayed far from Teresa’s side. She was friendly with Rob and Karen, but it was clearly Teresa she had bonded to in Dogman’s absence.

“I’m so sorry this happened,” she’d said to him when they let her see him in jail. She frowned at her clasped hands on the counter that separated them. “I don’t know how to thank you for what you did, getting them off me. I’ve talked to everyone I can and explained that it wasn’t you. I think they believe me, but it’s going to take a while before they let you go.”

She didn’t repeat what the assistant city attorney had said about having one John Doe in jail, even if it was the wrong man, being better than having three unknown suspects at large. She couldn’t tell if he was really that arrogant, or if he still didn’t believe her that Dogman wasn’t her attacker.

Dogman had looked at her through the glass panel. “Do you know if Lucy is okay?”

Teresa nodded. “She is. I have her.” She squirmed. “I had to tell them she was mine so they would let me have her, but I’ll take care of her for you until you’re released.”

He’d nodded, staring at her with those eyes that seemed to burn through her.

She slid a piece of paper through the slot in the glass. The attending police officer checked it and handed it to Dogman. “Call me when they let you out, and I’ll bring Lucy to you. Is there… is there anything you need? Anything I can get you?”

He shook his head. “They’ll give me my stuff back when they let me out. All I need is Lucy.” He stood.

“Okay.” Teresa stood also. “Call me.”

He nodded. “Thanks.”

She knew he was only thanking her for Lucy’s sake. She reached down now and patted Lucy’s head as they walked. The dog had actually been good company. She’d been perfectly well behaved in the house, not messing or begging. Teresa had given her a bath and taken her to a veterinarian for her shots. She lay beside Teresa’s bed at night and was always there when Teresa woke from her nightmares—the nightmares that weren’t going away. Sometimes, Teresa would sit on the floor after one of her bad dreams, Lucy curled up against her thigh, warm and comforting. She’d been thinking lately that after Lucy went back to Dogman, maybe she’d get a dog of her own, but every time she thought it, she drew a blank on where that might be. She couldn’t stay with Rob and Karen forever, and she could never move back home.

They approached the house, and Teresa stopped short. Ellie was sitting on the front porch. Bracing herself, Teresa walked up to her.

“Hi.”

Ellie stood, brushing her backside off. Teresa had never seen Ellie in shorts and diverted her eyes from her bare legs.

“Hi,” Ellie said. She glanced down at Lucy who wagged her tail. “Who’s this?”

“Lucy.”

Ellie glanced up sharply. “Lucy. As in Dogman’s Lucy? The one who was behind your store?”

“Yes,” Teresa said. “He was the one who saved me.”

There it was again—that note of accusation. It hung like a palpable thing between them.

“Teresa, there’s a lot we need to talk about.” Ellie waited, her hands shoved into her shorts pockets as Teresa stared at the sidewalk for several seconds.

“Come in,” Teresa said at last. “Rob and Karen are at work. I was just going to get dinner started.”

Ellie followed Teresa inside. Lucy got a drink from a bowl on the kitchen floor and lay down where she could keep an eye on Teresa as she got a pasta pot out and started to fill it with water.

“Can we talk? Please?” Ellie said. “Without interruption?”

Teresa turned the faucet off and joined her at the kitchen table.

“Why aren’t you at work?” Teresa asked.

Ellie sat back and exhaled. “There is so much… I don’t have a job at the bank anymore.”

“What? You said something in your message…” Teresa tried to remember.

“The day everything happened, I was pulled into the manager’s office and—”

“They didn’t fire you!”

Ellie shook her head. “No. They didn’t fire me. They offered me a transfer to get me out of the way. Instead of dealing with the pervert who hit me, they figured it was easier to move me to another branch.”

“What did you say?”

Ellie shrugged. “I told them to go to hell and walked out. That’s when everything went haywire. I left you that message. I went downtown. I was just feeling angry and reckless and… I honestly didn’t care if something happened to me that night.” Ellie’s eyes shone with tears. “But I never meant for it to happen to you.”

Teresa watched Ellie, trying to feel something, anything other than anger. “And what if it had been you? Do you think that would have been any easier for me? What were you thinking?”

“I guess I wasn’t.” Ellie shook her head. “I was just so angry—”

“And reckless,” Teresa cut in. “Got that.”

Ellie opened her mouth to respond but closed it again. “What now?”

“Are you working for Louise?”

“Kind of,” Ellie said. “I’m working there about forty hours a week, but we don’t have a formal agreement. What about you? Are you back to work?”

Teresa looked down at her folded hands. “Not yet. I haven’t decided what I’m doing.”

Ellie leaned forward, placing her hands over top of Teresa’s. “Please, can we fix this? Can’t we go away together? Leave Pittsburgh, go somewhere new, somewhere where nothing else pulls us apart.”

For long seconds, Teresa stared at their hands. “I don’t know.”

“Do you still love me?”

Teresa looked up. “What?”

“Do you still love me? Isn’t that worth hanging on to?”

Teresa sat back, sliding her hands out from under Ellie’s. “I don’t know,” she repeated. “I don’t know what I feel.” She stood and went back to the sink, not wanting to see the hurt and confusion in Ellie’s eyes.

A moment later, she heard the front door open and close. When she turned around, Ellie was gone.

“What are you doing? You shouldn’t be here.”

Louise gently pulled the spatula from Ellie’s hand. Ellie wiped the back of her hand across her eyes.

“I need to keep busy.” Ellie gave Louise a watery smile. “Who would’ve believed that making pies would be my way of keeping my mind off—”

Louise handed the spatula back. “Need some help with the dough?”

Ellie shrugged. “Sure. My dough’s still not as good as yours.”

Ellie measured sugar for the cherries while Louise added a little flour to the dough and kneaded it in.

“So, what’s going on?”

Ellie blinked and kept her eyes on what she was doing. “Everything.”

Louise raised her eyebrows in question as she pounded the dough.

“I lost my job. I lost my best friend.” Ellie sniffed. “I feel like I can’t do anything right.”

“You miss the bank that much?”

Ellie snorted and clamped her forearm over her nose and mouth to avoid spraying snot into the cherries. “No. But it’s not how I pictured myself leaving.”

Louise chuckled. “Bet they’ll remember it, though.”

Ellie started laughing. Louise laughed along with her. A couple of the cooks and waitresses peeked back at them to see what was so funny.

Louise rolled the dough out to the perfect thickness and slapped it into a pie pan. Ellie spooned the cherry mix into the dough and turned to the sink to wash the bowl, while Louise laid out strips of dough in a basket weave pattern over top of the cherries. She slid the pan into the waiting oven.

“Come with me.”

Ellie dried her hands and followed Louise to her office. Louise sat in her chair, and Ellie took the other seat.

“What are you going to do?”

Ellie sat there a moment. “About what?”

“About your life.”

“What do you mean?”

Louise leaned forward. “I mean, you need some momentum. You aren’t happy here. You need to move on. You need to let Daniel go, Ellie. You need to let Teresa go, too, if she won’t go with you. And you need to let me go.”

Sudden tears sprang to Ellie’s eyes again. Exasperated, she wiped them away. “I’m so sick of crying. I feel like it’s all I’ve been doing for weeks. And where do you get off, telling me all those things?”

Louise tilted her head and gave Ellie a knowing smile. “Ellie Ryan, I’ve known you for how many years now? I’m saying this because I love you. You have lived your life for your dead mother and your lost brother. You don’t even know for sure he’s here. You are suffocating here in this city. You’ve done the hard part. You walked away from your job. The next step should be easy. Pick a place and go.”

Ellie shook her head. “I can’t leave you. What about the diner? You can’t work like you used to.”

“Baby girl, you’re never going to leave me. That’s never going to happen. Patty’s been reconsidering helping me out here. I think she got a little taste of it and liked it.” Louise opened her desk drawer and pulled out a slip of paper. “This is the name, address and phone number of my cousin in Baltimore. She owns a seafood restaurant and just opened a second one. She needs a manager to help her out. It may not be what you want to do forever, but you learned enough here to step in, no problem. I told her all about you, and she’d love to have you call her for a telephone interview. No guarantees, but I did tell her I’d never make her favorite sweet potato pie again if she didn’t hire you.”

“Baltimore?”

“Not too far away,” Louise said, reading Ellie’s mind. “You’d be close enough to get back here for visits. You could explore a new city, see the Chesapeake Bay, and start your traveling the way you always planned.”

Ellie considered. “Maybe Baltimore wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Thanks for driving us again.”

Bernie glanced in the side view mirror at Lucy, who had her head out the backseat window. “I don’t mind. You’re still dizzy?”

“Yeah.” Teresa rubbed her forehead. “It’s irritating. It’s like being a little drunk all the time.”

“Shit. I wish I could feel that way without having to drink. It would make going back to school in the fall much easier.”

Teresa smiled and looked back at Lucy. “I’m really going to miss her. She’s been good company.”

Bernie gave her a sidelong glance. “Missing anyone else?”

Teresa was glad for the concealing sunglasses she was wearing, but she knew Bernie could see the flush creeping into her cheeks. “I’m dealing with it.”

“She really asked you to leave Pittsburgh and go away with her?”

“Yes. I told you.” Teresa shook her head. “I just can’t let go of what she did.”

Bernie lit a fresh cigarette and took a deep drag. “What are you going to do about work?”

Teresa didn’t answer immediately. “I don’t know yet. Pop hasn’t pushed me. And he’s been paying me. Can you believe it?” She sighed. “I’ll have to make a decision soon. I’ll probably go back.”

“To which store?” Bernie flicked her ashes out the window, and Lucy sneezed. “Sorry, dog.” She pulled open her ashtray and turned back to Teresa. “You could go back to Bloomfield now, if Ellie’s not in the picture.”

“I know. I’ve been thinking about that.” Teresa bit her lip as she thought. “It still feels like I’d be crawling back to Ma, though. Don’t know if I can do it, but I do miss that neighborhood. It’s so much nicer than Oakland.”

“Where should I park?” Bernie asked as they neared the jail. “I’ve never done this.”

“Me, either.” Teresa pointed. “Park here. I’m not sure how long this will take.”

“Do you want me to wait here?”

“Yeah, maybe. You mind?”

“Shit, no.” Bernie ground out her cigarette and lit another. “The city jail is one place I can honestly say I’ve never had any desire to visit.”

Teresa got out and opened the back door of the car. Lucy stood quietly while Teresa clipped her leash onto her new collar. Teresa reached back into the car and gathered up another large shopping bag before bumping the door shut with her hip. “I shouldn’t be long.”

She and Lucy walked through the jail’s front entrance. The police officer behind the desk frowned at Lucy.