Casting About (27 page)

My heart went out to her and once again I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I leaned over to kiss her and said, “Of course you were scared, but for being so scared, you've been a mighty brave girl.”

A hint of a smile returned to her face. “Do you think so?”

“I know so, and now you'll just be getting better every day.”

“How's Billie? I miss her.”

“I know you do. She's fine, but she misses you too. Aunt Dora is keeping her at her house and I know Billie will be very happy when you come home.”

“Now, this is what I like to see,” I heard Opal say and turned around to see her with a huge smile on her face. “Quite a difference in our little girl, huh?”

“A huge difference,” Adam said. “Thank God.”

Opal passed a gift bag to Clarissa. “Just a little something I found that I thought you might like.”

Clarissa pulled out a buff-colored stuffed dog that bore a close resemblance to Billie. Hugging it to her chest, she exclaimed, “Oh, thank you, Grandma. I love it.” Then she looked directly at me. “And I love my music box, Monica. Thank you so much. Grandma said you got it for me in Augusta.”

“I did. I thought with the little girl and the dog it was perfect for you.”

“Every time the nurse comes in she winds it up for me so I can hear the music.”

As if on cue, Tara poked her head around the curtain. “It looks like you're all having fun in here, but I'm afraid you should take five more minutes and then let Clarissa rest for a while.”

“Good idea,” Adam said and I noticed that Clarissa's eyes were beginning to droop a little.

“Will you be back tomorrow?” Clarissa asked.

“We're not going anywhere tonight,” Adam told her. “We're sending Grandma and Hank home now and it's our turn to stay. We're all taking turns doing shifts so you won't be alone.”

“Really?” The look on Clarissa's face told me she was happy about this.

“Really,” I told her. “Your dad and I are going to go to the cafeteria now to have something to eat, but we'll be in to check on you throughout the night.”

“And we already have it arranged,” Opal said. “Hank and I will be here tomorrow morning at nine to relieve you to go home. And Dora, Saren, and Grace have worked out their shifts as well.”

I shook my head.
Leave it to all of them,
I thought.
That's what family and good friends do—they take care of each other. Because of the love that binds them together.

I
had just finished dusting and vacuuming Clarissa's room when the phone rang.

“So tomorrow's the big day, huh?” I heard Grace say.

“Yes, after ten days in the hospital Clarissa's finally coming home. God, this house has been empty without her.”

“Are you busy right now? I was going to pop over for coffee.”

“Not at all. I'm cleaning Clarissa's room and just have to get fresh sheets on her bed. Come on over.”

“Be there in five,” Grace said, hanging up.

 

“Gosh, it feels like forever since we just sat and gabbed like this,” I told Grace.

“I know. I've missed you, and now that Clarissa's coming home tomorrow—I won't lie, I've been scared to death about her.”

“You weren't the only one. When I think how close we came to possibly losing her—I'm just so glad it's all behind us now. Do you know that Adam left three messages for Carrie Sue on her cell? Three. And she hasn't even called back.”

“She's in her own little world. I have a feeling that after going through this, you don't doubt your mothering ability any longer.”

“You're right, I don't. I think for the first time in my life, I feel comfortable where I'm at. Being a mother to Clarissa, I mean. Unfortunately it took something as serious as this to make me realize how much I truly
do
love Clarissa. Not just in words, but deep inside me. I'll never forget walking into ICU and seeing her in that bed. All of the love I felt for her just gushed to the surface and overwhelmed me. I think maybe it was always there. I just didn't want to acknowledge it.”

Grace nodded. “Yeah, sometimes the simplest things in life are the toughest to figure out.”

“And,” I said, holding up my coffee cup in a toast, “It might not be much longer till we'll be calling you Aunt Gracie.”

“What?” she gasped. “Are you pregnant?”

“Not yet, but Adam and I did have that talk in Augusta. I'm off the pill. So we're trying. We'll see what happens.”

Grace clinked her coffee cup against mine. “Here's to your success. Oh, Monica, I'm so happy for you.”

“Thanks. Hey, what's been going on with you? Bring me up to date. Hear any more from Lucas?”

“He did stop in the coffee shop last week before he left the island. He's gone back to Brunswick to square things away there. He said he'll be back here around August.”

“Oh, not till then? And he didn't ask you out?”

“It's really strange. I got the feeling that he wanted to, if that makes sense. But no, he didn't. Like he thought better of it for some reason. I don't know—I think I should just chalk it up to having rotten luck with guys. But…I might be taking a trip to Brunswick myself.”

“Really?” I asked with surprise. She still hadn't shared with me why she was so reluctant to visit that town. Since she was so close to her aunt, I figured it must have something to do with a guy.

“Yeah, I spoke to Aunt Maude the other day. She's begging me again to come and visit. Not that she's old at seventy-two, but she's not getting any younger, and now macular degeneration prevents her from driving here anymore. I'm thinking maybe I should go for a few days and bring her here for a visit.”

I nodded. “Might not be a bad idea, Grace.” I took a sip of coffee. “Look, you can tell me it's none of my business, but I consider you my closest friend and I think I'm yours. If you don't want to tell me, okay, but why do you resist going to Brunswick? You're very close to your aunt, so it can't have anything to do with her.”

Grace was silent for a few moments, fiddling with the handle on her coffee cup. “Oh, gosh no, it doesn't have a thing to do with Aunt Maude and she knows that. And I guess she's always loved me enough to understand.” Grace let out a deep sigh. “It has to do with a guy, Monica. Somebody I was heavily involved with. He lives on St. Simons Island, very close to Brunswick, and I never wanted to risk seeing him again.”

I now recalled how she'd shared with me about her miscarriage and figured he must have been the father. I waited for her to explain more, but she didn't.

Running a hand through her curls, she said, “I don't know, maybe the time has come for me to return there and face my demons.”

“Very often time has a way of healing things and allowing us to do that,” I told her, not wanting to press for more information.

“Yeah, maybe,” was all she said.

 

We had decided to surprise Clarissa when we picked her up at the hospital and had Billie waiting in the backseat of the car. Watching their reunion, I couldn't stop smiling. Clarissa was beside herself with joy as Billie cried and whined and wouldn't stop licking Clarissa's face during the drive home. The quirky little noises that Billie made almost sounded like she was talking and telling us how happy she was to have her beloved Clarissa back again.

We got her settled on the sofa to rest with Billie curled up beside her. Adam returned to the family room carrying a cardboard box filled with brightly wrapped presents.

The look of astonishment on Clarissa's face made me laugh. “These are for you,” I told her. “Gifts from my mom and Noah that she sent from Paris, Aunt Dora and Saren and Gracie. And some of the kids from school dropped by to bring you something.”

“Oh, wow, these are all for me?”

“They are,” Adam said. “You're a very special girl. Go ahead, start opening them.”

We sat and watched as she opened pajamas, dusting powder, books, and games, along with assorted other things to keep her busy while she recuperated.

“Everybody was so nice to me,” Clarissa said.

“Well, you deserved it,” I told her, picking up the wrapping paper scattered around the sofa. “But you still have one more gift. It's not wrapped, but I think you'll like it.”

“I do?”

“Yup,” I said, nodding to Adam.

He went into our bedroom and returned carrying a large wooden sign with the wording hidden.

I saw the look of interest that crossed Clarissa's face and smiled. “Well, as the new proprietor of the yarn shop, I recently made an executive decision.” I went to stand beside Adam. “Spinning Forward was the name my mother had chosen for the shop, and since I'm the new owner, I thought maybe that required a new name. And because you've turned into such a proficient little knitter, I'd like you to be my assistant there.”

Excitement covered Clarissa's face. “Really? You mean like Aunt Dora?”

I nodded. “Yup, just like Aunt Dora, and when we begin doing the knitting classes for kids, you can be right there with me helping. And so,” I said, waving my hand toward Adam with a flourish, indicating he could now turn the sign around, “I wanted the new name to show that you and I are a twosome.”

Adam turned the sign around with the words Y
ARNING
T
OGETHER
burned into the wood. A pair of long bamboo needles and a shorter pair were entwined below the wording.

Clarissa's hand flew to her face as she gasped. “Oh, my goodness! That's what I always used to call knitting.”

I laughed. “That's right. I thought it was so cute, and the term is appropriate for you and me. So I think it's the
perfect
name for the shop. What do you think?”

Clarissa got up from the sofa and pulled me into a tight embrace. “I love it! I
just
love it,” she exclaimed. “I don't know why I always called it yarning instead of knitting—but I'm glad I did.”

Adam smiled. “I think Monica is too.”

He propped the sign against the wall so that Clarissa could stare at it from the sofa.

“When you're feeling better, we'll go to the yarn shop and get it hung outside. We'll have a little ceremony, like when they christen a boat,” I told her. “And everybody will come.”

“That'll be so cool!”

“Oh, gosh, I almost forgot—Zoe called this morning before we left to get you. She's been calling every day to check on you and said you should receive her gift in the mail soon. Her baby brother was born late last night, two weeks early, but he's fine.”

“He was? Zac is here? Oh, that's so cool. Can I call Zoe later?”

“Of course you can,” Adam said. “How about some lunch now and then you can rest for a while?”

“Okay. Gee, so now Zoe's a big sister. Lucky her.”

Adam and I exchanged a glance.

“You think?” Adam said. “She's not an only child anymore. She'll have to share everything now that she has a new brother in the house.”

“Oh, I don't think Zoe will mind that at all.”

“Hmm, maybe not,” I said. “But gee, she'll have to be pretty responsible now. You know, helping out to do things around the house. Maybe being quiet while the baby is sleeping, not playing her CD player really loud—that sort of thing.”

“Well, right. That's what a big sister does, you know. It must be a great job to have.”

“Would
you
like to be a big sister?” Adam asked.

Clarissa's face shot up to look at him, filled with excitement. “Oh, would I ever! I'd love to be a big sister. It's lonely being an only child, you know. Are we getting a baby?” Her glance swung from Adam to me.

We both laughed. “Well, not right at the moment,” he told her. “But it just might be possible in the near future.”

“Oh, wow!” she exclaimed, happiness oozing from her. “Wait till I tell Zoe. Then we'll both be big sisters. Oh, thank you,” she told us. “I've always wanted a baby brother or sister.”

Now that I was off the pill, Adam and I had discussed whether jealousy might be a problem for Clarissa. She'd just proven to us we needn't have worried.

 

By the time we'd finished dinner, the light shower we'd gotten had stopped. The sun was back out, just in time to begin setting in the western sky.

Adam and I were on the deck enjoying a glass of wine while Clarissa spoke to Zoe on the phone inside.

He reached over to take my hand. “Do you know how much I love you? I'm an incredibly lucky guy to have you in my life.”

I smiled. “But I'm the lucky one. And I love you back even more.”

“I don't think that's possible. We have so much to be grateful for, don't we?”

“We do. And so much to look forward to ahead of us.”

I turned as Clarissa joined us on the deck.

“Everything okay with Zoe and her brother?” Adam asked.

“Yes, he's coming home tomorrow. Zoe got to hold him in the hospital today. I was a little jealous when she told me, but then I remembered you said we might be getting our own baby soon. I told Zoe and she was so excited for me.”

Adam and I both smiled.

“You know,” Clarissa said. “That lady was right. She said I had to stay here because so many good things were going to happen to me.”

Despite the warmth of the air, goose bumps covered my skin. “What lady?” I asked softly.

“That lady that's been with me since I got here. She's gone away now, though. When I was so sick in the hospital, she was right there the whole time next to my bed. Didn't you see her?”

I saw Adam shake his head as we both continued to listen.

“Well, she was. And then she told me it was time for her to leave and I wouldn't see her again. But she said that would be okay because so many good things were going to happen to me and I'd be all right now.”

I felt a chill go through me. Dear God, was Clarissa referring to Sybile? Had Sybile's spirit been here protecting Clarissa, looking out for her, waiting until I understood what it meant to deeply love this child? Waiting for
me
to become a mother in every sense of the word?

“So the lady is gone now?” Adam asked, like what he'd just been told was the most natural thing in the world.

“Yeah, I think so, because I haven't seen her for a few days now. But that's okay. I have you and Monica and Billie. And maybe a new sister or brother coming.”

Clarissa felt secure in the love that surrounded her. Had
the lady
simply been a figment of her imagination? Something a lonely child had required and something that had soothed her?

“Oh, look,” Clarissa said, going to the edge of the deck.

Adam and I got up to follow. Hovering above the water was the most vivid rainbow I'd ever seen. Deep pastel shades of pink and green and blue merged into an arc above Cedar Key.

“You know what?” I said, putting my arms around Clarissa who was standing in front of me. “They say there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. A treasure.”

Clarissa looked up at me with awe. “There is?”

“Well, that's what they say, but I'm not sure I believe that.” I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Because
you
are my treasure, Clarissa. I love you
so
very much, with all my heart. I hope you know that.”

She turned around to face both Adam and me, putting an arm around each of us. “Oh, I do,” she said. “Because I love you just as much, and I always will.”

I rested my chin on Clarissa's head and smiled as the rainbow seemed to intensify over my slice of paradise.