Catch Me Falling (3 page)

Then she moved her lips, kissed down from the corner of his mouth to his jawline. “Normally I want dinner before I have sex with someone.” Her voice was breathy, soft. Teasing.

“Coffee, tomorrow. 9 a.m.” Dinner was too date-like. He didn’t do dates. But coffee he could do. “Then I can return the files and we can borrow the desk.”

Her teeth skimmed his earlobe and he shivered. She didn’t hold anything back. “It’s a pretty sturdy desk.”

“We’ll find out now, won’t we?” He kissed her neck, sucked a mark on her pale skin.

She let out a soft sigh, shivered as he licked the mark he made. “We will.”

She kissed him one last time, lingered. He kissed back. He couldn’t get enough of her, not her body pressed against him or her lips against his. He was insatiable. Then she got off his lap, smoothed down her skirt. Smiled politely at him. “Thank you for coming by.”

He sat there for a little bit longer, watched her as she settled down in her chair, turned to her computer. He could still smell the floral scent of her perfume. He nodded to her, and then with the files tucked under his arm, left the office.

He went down to the cafeteria. It was a strange haven, but he felt more normal surrounded by other, possibly crazy, people. He got a coffee, shitty though it was, and waited. Then he left, heading back to the ER for a bit. He needed to clear his mind.

There was a family coming in, a mother, father, three kids.

White picket fence sort of family.

Three bodies, covered in white sheets.

Watching his mother be loaded into the ambulance.

Screaming, screaming, and no one coming to answer.

Because they were all dead.

Isaac left the ER as fast as he could.

A
lexa ran
a hand through her hair as she closed her apartment door behind her. The adrenaline from earlier had faded, leaving her tired and far too thoughtful. All she wanted to do was do something, anything, to forget what she had done that day. Forget Isaac.

He was impossible to forget. Impossible to resist. His smile, his stupid sexy smile, sent heat coiling between her legs, made her wet. Those stupid, wicked eyes. Those stupidly soft lips moving against hers. She wanted him. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anyone else. And she had taken it. It sent a pleasurable shiver down her spine at the thought of tomorrow. Coffee - coffee leading up to what she actually wanted, which was for him to take her over her desk. Or on her desk. She was okay with either/or.

Wine. She needed wine. Keys and organization and – everything else that needed to be done could be done later. She sorted through the cupboards, glared at the fact they were mostly empty except for a takeout menu and some shitty sour apple pucker that no reasonable person would drink past the age of 17. She hadn’t even had time to shop or get more wine. What was she going to do for dinner?

Wow, she really sucked at the whole adult thing sometimes. She was thirty one. Wasn’t she supposed to have her life all put together by then? Apparently not. Instead of wine, instead of a proper home-cooked dinner, she ordered takeout and settled on the couch with soda mixed with that disgusting sour apple. It was a lousy substitute for wine, but it was something at least.

She pulled out her phone, looked at it. Damien had texted her again. Why hadn’t she changed her number? She didn’t know. This time they were begging. No more slurs, no more epithets. He was desperate.

Baby, come back to me.

I really love you.

It'll never happen again.

She laughed at her phone. She wasn’t stupid enough to fall for that, not again. When she had left the first time, six months ago, he had started the same campaign. Begged her. Pleaded with her. And she had given in and gone back.

Two new scars and uncountable bruises later, she had realized how stupid she had been. He didn’t change. They never changed.

She chugged her soda, wrinkling her nose at the taste, and deleted the texts. Tossed her phone onto the side table. In law school she had prosecuted a few cases for domestic abuse victims, ones whose cases had not been recognized by the hospital and had been severely damaged by their abusers. But it had taken so long for to realize who she was, what it meant. She was a victim. She was a survivor.

She ignored her soda/disgusting alcohol and headed to the bathroom. She needed a shower. Without the wine, she needed some way to relax while she waited for the takeout. She undressed and gave herself her cursory once-over in the mirror. Still too thin, her ribs showing. She needed to eat more, but it was hard when she didn’t feel like it. It wasn’t that she didn’t want food, it just wasn’t a priority.

She would have to be careful with Isaac, with sex. The bruises were gone, but she didn’t want to explain the scars that decorated her shoulders, back, and stomach. The ones on her shoulders and back were from cigarettes, when she'd been used as an ashtray. The small, jagged scars on her stomach were from broken beer bottles and, on one terrifying occasion, a knife. That had been the night she left. The night he almost killed her.

She pressed a finger into one of the scars on her stomach, hissed as it sent little waves of pain through her body. The tissue was mostly numb, but still sensitive to pain. It made her feel alive, like she was in control of what happened to her. Like she wasn’t tethered to her past.

She hopped in the shower, letting the hot water wash her worries away. Isaac wasn’t the past. He wasn’t the future, either, but she didn’t care about that. For now she would kiss him, screw him, and enjoy how it made her feel. He was dangerous, and that made him sexier. It was technically a conflict of interest, having sex with him. He evaluated her cases. But he didn’t testify in court and didn’t make her decisions, so neither of them would get in trouble. Not that she cared. She was tired of caring about what others would think of her. She’d keep work at work, and sex at – well, wherever they ended up. He would just have to do the same.

Tomorrow they were getting coffee, and then getting intimately acquainted with her desk. It’d never been used for that before. She had never been used for that before. It sent a thrill through her, thinking about it. Him bending her over her desk, thrusting into her from behind, holding her hips in place so she could take all of him…

She was down with that.

She scrubbed her sensitive skin with her loofah, careful as she went over the scars. It made sense to have coffee with her consultants, build a working relationship. In this case she needed one outside of whatever room they used to have sex. She worked with her consultants in close quarters, discussed sensitive topics. Most weren’t happy to be ratting out other doctors, to be criticizing their medical management, but she did her best to make it was easy as she could. There had to be a certain level of trust.

A little voice whispered that she wanted to have coffee with him, get to know him beyond what he did to her body. The way he played her like a familiar instrument, his kisses just the right pressure, his cock fitting so perfectly into her. She groaned, tilted her head back as she shampooed her hair, imagining it was his long fingers working the shampoo into her hair. It was domestic but she didn’t care. He could pick her up, hold her against the cold tile, screw her senseless until she couldn’t remember her name. He could kneel down, spread her legs, eat her out until she screamed. What was the point of getting clean if they weren’t dirty? Like her imagination. Thankfully no one could read her mind.

He was a man, just good for sex. All men were the same. Nice at first, sweet and caring. Then it took less than six months for the masks to fall, just like Damien’s had. No, she wouldn't risk that again. Wouldn't risk being somebody who ended up in the papers, or even in her own ER. It was too dangerous. Too shameful. She had hardly been able to bear it at sixteen, to have everyone in her small town known what had happened in her family. What had happened to her, her mother. All of the stupid gossip that had eaten at her until she hadn’t been able to handle it. Until she had run away.

She rinsed her hair out, stepped out from underneath the shower. She dried herself off, picturing his hands against her skin, holding her close, keeping her warm. Mm, he’d be good at that. His long, talented fingers…

Tomorrow would come soon enough.

A
lexa was second
to the cafeteria. She could see him standing by the entrance, his attention on his phone. “Good morning.” She walked up next to him, looked at him. He was dressed in jeans and a button-down shirt again. Professional, but easy to take off. How convenient.

“Did you sleep well?” His lips quirked up into a wicked, tantalizing smile.

How was she supposed to make it through coffee without jumping him if he looked like that? “Yes.” No. No she hadn’t. Instead, her brain had been coming up with various new ways to use her desk, but she certainly wasn’t going to tell him that. At least not in public.

“Is the coffee here any good?” He scanned the menu with a skeptical expression.

Alexa couldn’t help a faint grin. “It’s not the greatest,” she admitted. There was a grand total of three whole coffee choices. At least they weren’t there for the coffee.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go somewhere else, skip this experience?” He cocked his head to the side.

She raised an eyebrow back, not giving up ground. Two could play that game. She leaned forward, her lips near his ear. “Consider it foreplay.”

Jill would find this whole story hilarious, if Alexa managed to make it back to the office in one piece.

He shifted so that his lips were next to her ear. “I’m good at foreplay.” He winked, then turned back to the menu as if they had just been discussing the weather.

She certainly didn’t feel like they had just been discussing the weather. Her veins thrummed with arousal, and heat coiled low in her belly. She was wet already. Wanting.

Isaac moved forward, smiled at the cashier as he ordered his coffee. She smiled back a bit too widely, batted her eyes, let her fingers linger a bit too long as she handed him his change.

Anger surged through Alexa’s veins and she balled one hand into a fist, feeling her nails bite into her palm. It distracted her, drawing her attention away from whatever emotion was bothering her. Then Isaac stepped back, a cup of coffee in his hand. He raised his eyebrows at her and she immediately smoothed her face out as if nothing had happened.

“Your turn,” he said, moving so that Alexa could approach the counter.

She ordered her coffee, completely free of lingering glances or dallying about from the cashier. Not that Alexa could blame her, really. Isaac was irresistible. The cup of cheap coffee felt warm in her hand as she stood there, her gaze sweeping around the room. Corner seat, with her back to the wall. Her heart was thudding too fast, her palms a bit too sweaty. She didn’t like being in non-secure spaces. Hypervigilance, hyperawareness. Paranoia, from dating someone who wanted to know where she was at all times. She had let Isaac press her against a door, screw her with his mouth, but she still wanted to sit and sip coffee in a secure location. Her priorities were ridiculous.

“Follow me.” The corner of his lips tugged up in a smile, and her cheeks flushed. He had said the same thing in the hotel. Was he going to take her to the supply closet now, coffee be damned? He led them to a small table in the back corner. It was out of the way, let her put her back to the wall, and was set up so that they couldn’t really be overheard. It was perfect, really. “I saw you staring at it.” He pulled her chair out for her, then sank into the one opposite her.

She raised her eyebrows but sat down anyway, taking a sip of her coffee. It was not quite as bad as she expected. It was at least drinkable. As she drank it she watched him, thought about what to say. While she had done collegial coffees before, she had never done one with someone whose cock had been buried deep inside her less than seventy two hours previously. She could feel him looking at her, too. Feel the way his gaze traveled across her skin, leaving trails of sparks in its wake. She couldn’t help but hunch in on herself.

“Tell me a bit about yourself.” His eyes were intent on hers. There was heat there, certainly, but genuine curiosity too.

She considered the question, then shrugged. It was harmless, wasn't it? Small talk. “I left my hometown when I was sixteen to go to a community college with the goal of becoming a lawyer.” She didn’t smile. Home hadn’t been a happy place. It never was, when you were considered the town slut. “Graduated, got a job here. I've been here a few years. I like to read and spend time on the water in my free time.” What little free time she had, she didn't add. And waterskiing was a long time ago. “I’ve never been to the ocean before.” It was a random, boring factoid. She wasn’t sure why she added it, but she did.

He looked at her, and he listened. He sat there, his eyes focused on her even when he drank his coffee. It made her stomach do warm and fuzzy things, sent heat flooding through her veins. Not only was he fantastic in bed, but he was a good listener too. What was he hiding?

“
W
hat about you
?” Alexa asked, more curious than she wanted to be.

Isaac’s face went from intent to forced, an easy, social smile appearing on his lips. It looked real, it looked genuine, but it looked a lot like Alexa’s face when she was hiding something. “There's nothing special about me.”

Had she hit a nerve? Or had he just not expected that she would care?

“Oldest of three,” he added. “I’m the only doctor.”

“How old?” she asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

His social smile was on his face, but this time he wasn’t looking at her. “I'm thirty-two, he said. “Sister’s thirty-one, brother’s twenty-nine.” His eyes seemed focused on something far away, sadness etched into the faint lines on his face. Whatever it was about his siblings, something made him sad. He was an enigma. Everyone talked about his charm, his openness. But she doubted things were what they seemed. He was guarded.

Then his gaze turned to her. “Do you have siblings?” He reached out a foot and slid it against hers. Alexa swallowed, her throat suddenly dry.

“Yeah. Younger sister and younger brother.” She took a long drink of her coffee. She hadn’t seen her family since she had left her hometown at sixteen, when the rumors, the talking behind her back, had gotten worse. It hadn’t been bad, not at first. It was just how they talked about her parents’ relationship. Her father beat her mother, and it was common knowledge. But then she had been raped by the most popular boy in high school, and that had been used against her. Used to silence her. That she couldn’t stand.

“You see your family often?” he asked.

It was a strangely intimate discussion, far more intimate than having sex with him was.

“No.” She took another sip of her coffee, trying to ignore whatever it was in the air between them. He slid his foot forward, bit by bit, until their legs were twined together under the table. It was oddly comfortable. “So what made you want to be a doctor?” she asked, trying to defuse the silence. Was that a personal question? She wasn’t sure. Everyone always asked her the equivalent. Maybe lawyers were just fair game.

Isaac smiled faintly. “Same old story,” he said. “Family member got sick, I wanted to be a doctor to fix them.”

There was something about his story that didn’t ring true, but it was equally obvious he didn’t want to talk about it.

“What about you?” he asked, taking a sip of his coffee. The tables had turned. “When did you know that you wanted to be a lawyer?” She wanted to pull back, untangle their legs. But she didn’t.

It was a hard question, one she wasn't particularly fond of answering. There was an answer, but it often ended conversation. “You know, same old,” she said, not looking at him. She forced herself to glance in his direction, offered a thin smile. “Someone I knew was involved in something that couldn’t be prosecuted. I wanted to become a lawyer to prosecute cases that needed help.” He didn’t need to know that it was her. That no one would have prosecuted the rape because no one believed her.

“Why medical malpractice, then?” The toes of his foot were gently rubbing her calf, soft and slow. Heat coiled low in her stomach.

At least he hadn’t probed what the case was. Alexa could give him credit for that. “Because it has its own quirks,” she said. No one had helped her, so she had made it her life’s goal to help others in whatever way she could. But she had been too good at putting herself in other people’s shoes, and it hadn’t worked out.

Isaac studied her in silence, maintaining eye contact even over the lid of the coffee. “Done with your coffee?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. “Ready to look over those files?”

He chuckled, his voice low and rumbly. It sent waves of heat through her. “More than ready.” His smile was wicked, heated, and she couldn’t help but smile back.

Her body felt taut as a rope, like she was going to break and fall. And she wanted to fall, as long as he would catch her. Whatever it was, she didn’t want to let go of him. “Let’s go.”

The walk up to her office, all of two floors above, felt like it took forever, especially with Isaac’s detour to grab the files from his locker near the ER. They didn’t talk, didn’t touch each other. But she was seconds away from jumping him and throwing off his clothes.

Jill raised her eyebrows when they came around the corner.

“We’re going over the files from yesterday.” Alexa nodded to Isaac, who held up the two files.

“Have fun.” Jill shook her head, as if imagining exactly how much fun one could have going over files.

“We will.” Isaac’s smile was bland, but there was heat in his eyes when he looked at Alexa.

She kept herself calm as she walked around the glass partition and towards her office, unlocking it with steady hands. Her nerves were hypersensitive, arousal thrumming through her. “We’ll have to put the files away first,” she murmured, pushing the door open.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Isaac stood in the door frame, his eyebrows raised.

“They’re important.” Alexa took them from him, quickly unlocking the filing cabinet. “Close the door.” She tucked the files in the filing cabinet. “Lock it. Jill doesn’t knock.”

Isaac chuckled, low and throaty, and she heard the lock snick into place.

She closed and secured the filing cabinet and then turned back to him. He was leaning against the door, his arms crossed. His lips were curved into that wicked smile. She swallowed, her throat dry. Glanced at her near-empty desk. When she looked back up, he was standing right in front of her, his dark blue eyes intent on her.

He leaned down, kissed her. Softly, gently, then with more heat. Their mouths moved against each other’s as if they had all the time in the world. Maybe they did. His hands slid down her chest, to the buttons of her blazer.

She swatted his hands away, not breaking the kiss. She had to be careful. He could only see so much. Pulling off her blazer, she threw it to the side, then unbuttoned the first four buttons of her blouse. Enough so that he could get to her breasts, undo her bra, but not enough that he could see what he didn’t need to see.

“Thanks,” he said, his voice amused.

She smirked. “Saving you the time.”

Then their mouths were moving together, and this time it was more desperate, heated, like he couldn’t get enough of her. She was okay with that. More than okay with it. She scrabbled her hands down his shirt, undoing the buttons as fast as she could so she could feel him, get her fingers on his skin.

He slid a hand behind her, undid her bra through her blouse.

She stopped, three quarters of his shirt unbuttoned. “Show-off.”

He grinned, then kissed her neck. “Get up on the desk.”

Feeling bold, she slid out of her panties and dropped them on the floor, left in a half-unbuttoned blouse, undone bra, and a pencil skirt. She settled on her desk, looking at him, daring him to take the next step.

He raised his eyebrows, that wicked smile on his face. “That certainly makes it easier.”

She tried not to squirm as he moved closer, standing between her legs. He kissed her, then kissed her neck, stopping to pull her breasts out of her bra. Her nipples were hard, heat flooding her as he sucked one into his mouth.

She moaned, her head tilting back as she arched up into his mouth. She was soaking wet now, aching for his touch. “Stop teasing me and fuck me,” she huffed.

“Soon.” He sucked on her other nipple, pinched the neglected one. She jerked, feeling another pulse of warmth between her legs.

“God.”

He hummed, and the vibrations sent shivers down her spine, made her toes curl. “You like that.”

She scowled as her cheeks flushed. “Yes.”

He chuckled, then kissed between her breasts one more time. “Gorgeous.”

She stared at him for a moment, too startled to be embarrassed as he worked on hiking up her skirt and spreading her legs.

“Are you going to stare or are you going to help?” He was on his knees between her legs, only halfway successful with the skirt. “And trust me, you want to help.”

The thought of his mouth on her sent arousal pulsing through her. She shifted on the desk, wiggling and hiking her skirt up while she attempted to not fall over. Not the sexiest thing ever, but she didn’t really care, not with what he was promising.

“Good girl.” He kissed her inner thigh, then spread her legs until she was balanced on the edge of the desk, her most intimate spot exposed to him. Slowly, torturously, he kissed up her thigh.

Alexa squirmed, unable to help it. “Just – just –”

He paused. “Just what?”

“Oh, come on.”

“Just what?” He looked up at her, an eyebrow raised.

“Just put your mouth on me already!”

He reached out, took one of her hands and put it on his head. “Let me know what you like.”

She threaded her fingers into his short hair, her nerves thrumming as he kissed his way back up her thigh, leaving a trail of fire blazing on her skin. Then he parted her with his hands, and licked his way up her.

She groaned, her hand tightening in his hair. God, it felt even better than she thought it would. He licked her again, his broad tongue swiping over her clit and making her insides clench. “You’re good at this.”

“Yes, I am.” He circled her clit with his tongue, sucked, and she whimpered.

She was already so close to the edge, and it wouldn’t take much more to push her over. Not that he gave her any time to relax. He speared her with her tongue, then licked and sucked her until she felt like a wobbly person made of jelly.

He slid an arm around her hips, pulled her closer to his mouth. It was an awkward position, her lower back would surely complain tomorrow, but she didn’t give a damn about anything beyond what his mouth was doing to her. His tongue was warm, oh so warm, as he screwed her with it, each thrust sending waves of pleasure through her.

“Come for me,” he murmured against her, sucking her clit hard and then grazing it with his teeth. She moaned and came, her body spasming underneath his mouth as he sucked her through her orgasm. She could barely hold herself up, her inner muscles fluttering as he pulled back, looked up at her. Her hand was still loosely resting on his head, but she could see his eyes. His mouth and chin were wet from her juices, and she couldn’t help the surge of arousal that the sight sent through her tired body.

Alexa looked at him and he looked at her, indecision paralyzing her for a split second. Then she tugged him up and kissed him, tasting herself on his lips. “I need you inside me,” she whispered against his lips.

Isaac let out a strangled groan, and then he unzipped his jeans and tugged down his boxers. He pulled out a condom and rolled it on, then plunged into her, filling her all the way up. She whimpered and he kissed her, their mouths moving messily against each other as he thrust in and out.

“You feel so good,” Isaac murmured into her mouth, his hands on her hips as he took her. She moaned against him, tilting her hips up so that he could thrust deeper, take all of her. The way his fingers dug into her through her skirt, she’d probably have bruises on her hips. She didn’t care.

“Shit –” she gasped. “Isaac.”

“You’re so tight around my cock.” He kissed her deeper, messier, as he lost control.

Her body was starting to shake, pleasure coiling between her legs as he tipped her over the edge. She came with a loud moan, holding him as her inner muscles clenched around his cock and she felt him thrust once more, twice more. Then he came, burying his head in the crook of her neck.

She focused on breathing in and out, focused on the feeling of him pressed against her. He was like a drug, something she couldn’t get enough of. Something she thought about constantly and could only think about when she could have him again. “You’re so good at this.”

“I know.” He grinned, a self-satisfied smirk that sent heat through her.

“I should get those files,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of his head.

He pulled out of her and then rolled off the condom, tossing it in the trash. Then he tucked himself away, zipped his jeans back up. He looked at her, a softness in his eyes she hadn’t seen before. “Get the files,” he said. “Let’s get work done.”

Deliberately, she took time to pull her panties back on, to redo her bra and button up her blouse. It was work time, and that was separate from play. Then she unlocked the filing cabinet and pulled out the files, settling in her chair and meeting his eyes. She was still breathing a bit too fast, her muscles still jelly. But files weren’t that heavy. “You start.”

I
saac sank
onto the bar stool in the kitchen, watching the older, white-haired woman as she fixed him a dinner plate. “Thanks, Ellie.” He smiled at her. She had been his housekeeper for a long time, and had really been more than that. She had worked for his grandparents before him, and had looked after him when he was young after his parents died. Now she looked after his lake house for him and lived there when he couldn’t.

She smiled at him warmly. “Someday you should learn how to cook.” She was a small, petite woman, her face starting to wrinkle. Although she had never married or had children, she had a grandmotherly air about her.

“My food would never be as good as yours.” He winked, digging into the food. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes, her specialty. It was as delicious as he remembered.

She settled across from him in a chair she had brought around the other side of the bar. “How’s work?” she asked.
Have you met anyone
, went unspoken. She, of all people, knew what he did at work, the women he brought home. Some had made it to the lake house, some hadn’t. He wasn’t ashamed of his one night stands.

He filled her in on Alexa, on the consulting. It was a promotion, a good thing. He was rising up in the ranks faster than anyone had thought possible. He left out the sex, fucking her in the hotel room, on her desk – pleasure was pleasure, work was work.

“Do you like the lawyer?” Ellie’s voice was mild as she looked at him over her glass of water.