Authors: Michelle Congdon
I woke up the next day feeling like a new person, a
better
person. After the terrifying ordeal everyone had to go through the night before, I was so thankful we were still a family and I was able to share my one darkest secret with Evangeline.
After hearing her soothing words, she helped me into bed and we talked. I told her everything—what my father had done, and what I had done—while she listened quietly. I even admitted to loving her. Sure, it came out by accident, but I’d meant it. I’d never been so in love with a person before. My heart swelled just thinking about her, and the heavy weight I carried around from the fourteen-year-old secret lifted, knowing Evangeline knew and still loved me for it. There was hope in the world for me after all.
We left my mom’s house shortly after breakfast.
After dropping my new
girlfriend
home, I rushed off to the stadium to meet up with the team. I’d asked Evangeline to come to the ball game, so I was ecstatic when I spotted her sitting there alongside my sisters. I was so over the moon, in fact, I’d stopped the game by deliberately blowing her a kiss. The fans loved it. Evangeline, not so much, as she sat there trying to be invisible, and definitely not the coaches, who gave me an earful once the game ended.
Meh, as if it mattered to me.
I was in love, and I’d be damned if I couldn’t show it.
The next few days went well. Evangeline attended all the games with my sisters, and I was so proud to see them all getting along.
It was Monday evening when I received a text from Evie informing me of how her day went during the reading of her father’s will. She invited me to dinner to celebrate the good news but for the first time, I’d taken her advice and arranged to meet up with Jessica to battle my demons once and for all, so I had to decline. It was a very big moment for me and I was so caught up in it all I never once thought it odd that Jessica had asked for our session to be held at a restaurant… that is, until Jessica tried to kiss me. I explained I wasn’t interested and I was with someone, but she didn’t take the news very well. And just when I thought my night couldn’t get worse, it did. Ten-fold.
After sending a text and getting an abrupt response back, I locked eyes with Evangeline from across the room of the same restaurant. My body filled with guilt. I hadn’t done anything wrong, but the way she looked at me and the way she wouldn’t let me explain made me think otherwise.
She stormed out of the restaurant, with me chasing after her like my life depended on it. We argued on the sidewalk, before she hailed a cab and left me standing there alone.
I was determined to fix things with her, so I caught a cab straight to her apartment and stayed there until she was willing to listen to what I had to say.
I explained what she saw at the restaurant, who Jessica was, what we’d done in the past and what she meant to me now. And that it was nothing. I couldn’t explain Jessica’s behavior because it was so out of character, nor could I explain to Evangeline why she’d seen Jessica sitting in the reserved section of my ball games. It was something I was determined to find out, though.
Evangeline had let me stay the night, but things were definitely not fixed. I just hoped she’d hold on to us at least until I returned from my two-week trip away.
“Room one-five-eight. I’ll be waiting,” an unknown brunette whispered into my ear before strutting away.
I watched her walk away before looking down at the room key she’d slipped into my hand. I turned it over several times, waiting for a small part of me to react some sort of way. The brunette was hot, there was no denying that, and the old me wouldn’t have thought twice about following her straight into the room, but the new me felt nothing. All that was on my mind was how I could fix the fucked-up mess that had happened in the last couple of days.
I lifted my gaze toward the end of the bar and locked on with Bucky’s questioning eyes. “Don’t do it,” Bucky mouthed to me.
I wasn’t an idiot; there was no way I was going to get messed up with another girl. Jessica was claiming she was pregnant with my child, and Evangeline wanted nothing to do with me.
Without wanting to get caught in a discussion with Bucky, I waved him off and stood up, getting ready to leave in the direction of my own room.
“What’s wrong with you? She was a babe,” a guy named Billy from the team, standing at the bar as I passed, asked.
“I’m just tired.” His mouth opened but before he had time to say anything, I dropped the room key into his empty hand. “Take it. I won’t be needing it.” Turning, I walked away, forcing back a smile from watching his jaw drop.
I didn’t get very far, though. As expected, Bucky was hot on my trail. I felt him come up beside me before I saw him.
“All right, this has got to stop.”
“Easier said than done, Bucky,” I said without looking.
“You need to get a hold of yourself, Baby.”
I stopped walking and pinched the bridge of my nose before turning to face him.
“Look. You can’t worry about Evangeline anymore. She doesn’t want anything to do with you; she said so herself. You need to focus on Jessica; she’s the one carrying your child,” he said before I could speak.
He was partly right. “She’s not pregnant!”
“You can’t be sure of that.”
“I fucking use rubbers all the damn time, so yes, I’m fucking sure!” I growled at him, trying not to raise my voice in the bar area of the hotel. There was no way she was. She was making it up to get between Evangeline and me; I was so sure of it.
Prove it,
my voice whispered. Perhaps that’s what I had to do.
“If you’re really that sure, you need to prove it. Catch her out,” Bucky said, as if reading my thoughts. “You know I’ll support you, Baby.”
A tiny smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. “Thanks, it means a lot right now.”
“Get some sleep and we’ll figure this out first thing tomorrow.”
I nodded just as Bucky squeezed my shoulder.
Finally arriving—alone—in my room, I pulled everything from my pocket and placed it on the bedside table. My eyes automatically went to my cell.
Perhaps I could message her?
Just once more.
Get it together, Ryan! She. Doesn’t. Want. Anything. To. Do. With. You.
Forcefully ripping my gaze away, I scrubbed my face and marched over to the bathroom.
How could I have let this happen? How could I miss the signs that Jessica was a complete crazy?
Was I really that blind or just refused to acknowledge it?
It was difficult to sleep that night. Images of Evie played over and over in my mind. I needed to talk to her. She needed to know Jessica
wasn’t
having my baby.
Even though I told myself not to, I texted Evangeline countless times after that night. No response. Was she planning on ignoring me forever? Just like the way I’d ignored every form of publicity during our two-week trip. I didn’t have anything to say to the media, especially trying to defend myself against the stories they’d all gladly shared without getting the straight facts.
Evangeline did eventually decide to answer my call, only to tell me she was going on a holiday of indefinite length to St Bart’s. My heart fell. Maybe it was time to move on after all. Even if I did clear up the mess with Jessica, Evangeline was never going to come back to me. I had to get over her.
Life has a sick, twisted way of working. Weeks went by where I couldn’t think of anyone else but Evangeline. I’d knocked back plenty of girls, using the excuse I was tired or I’d just blatantly ignore them. It was a pretty asshole move, but I couldn’t handle having to explain myself anymore. I just fucking missed her so much. As soon as I felt myself slowly begin to heal, life fucking threw another curve ball.
Chasing Annabelle after a new Broadway show, I ran smack bang into Evangeline…and that footballer, Hawke Hudson. I’d have been standing there completely dumbstruck had it not been for the anger that sizzled inside me from seeing her with another guy; a good guy, at that. I hated to admit it but Hawke was the perfect gentleman, or he let the world believe so, anyway. All I could think about was the two of them fucking.
NO!
She was my girl!
After we left them, I dropped Annabelle home and went for a long walk around the city to clear my head. I don’t know how much time later, but when I looked up, I was standing out front of Evangeline’s apartment block. In what seemed like one of my craziest moments, I took it as a sign to try again. Taking a deep breath, I headed up the stairs and into the elevator toward her apartment floor.
After explaining how I’d managed to get on her floor in the first place, considering you needed a ‘special’ swipe for her level, I got straight to the point and asked her about us.
I’d also explained that I’d gotten to the bottom of the Jessica situation and in a polite way, I told her if she ever fucked with mine or Evangeline’s life ever again, I was going to make sure I ended hers. Harsh? Probably. But well deserved for someone who tried to destroy me and the person I loved.
I thought everything was getting better, until I found out Evangeline decided to up and leave New York without returning the call she promised she’d make…
“Baby, you need to get it together. You got your heart broken; it happens. You need to come to terms with that.”
“It hurts, Bucky.” Fuck, I hated admitting that to him.
“You open your heart to someone and they tear it out and squeeze until there is nothing left. Yeah, it
does
hurt, but welcome to the world of mortals, Ace. It happens to everyone.”
Bucky gave me a firm slap on the back and walked away without saying anything else. I remained quiet, staring at his departing figure until it disappeared around the corner. He was right, yet again. It had been so long since I’d heard from Evangeline. There was never any phone call; that was just an excuse, I now knew.
I need to pull myself together and stop acting this way.
But it just seemed impossible. It felt like I’d lost my whole world.
After sitting and staring for a while, I finally stood up and gathered my things from the locker. I just needed to get home, fill myself up with food, watch some TV and perhaps drown my sorrows with some scotch. Most of the boys had already left besides two who were busy talking to one of the managers. I was thankful to slip away without being noticed.
Once I reached my apartment, I threw my sports bag down and headed straight for the liquor cabinet. A bottle of Macallan called to me. I popped open the cork top and drank straight from the bottle. Never mind that whiskey connoisseurs would have a heart attack if they ever saw anyone do that to a fine, thirty-year-old bottle of scotch whiskey. After swallowing, I gritted my teeth and hissed inwardly, allowing the slow after-burn from the alcohol to numb the pain that was my life.
I was preparing to take another swig when I heard the intercom buzz.
What now?
“
Rose
?” I called out, knowing she’d still be somewhere within the apartment.
“I’ve got it, Mr. Fox,” I heard her call back.
I stared at the scotch label, listening out for a voice, anything which would help me identify my visitor. There was nothing but silence. I let a few more minutes pass before curiosity got the better of me. I put down the bottle and walked out of the room, making my way toward the front door. I was almost there when a blond figure, standing next to Rose, stepped into view. What the
fuck
was he doing here?
Clenching my jaw, I marched over to Rose and stood before the familiar face.
“What do you want?” I growled, unable to hide my bitter dislike for the guy.
Hawke Hudson lifted his gaze from Rose to meet mine. “We need to talk,” he simply responded.
I had to admit, the way he sounded so calm, yet serious, caught me by surprise, but I didn’t let it show. Instead, I tilted my head to Rose and told her she may finish up early if she wanted to. Of course she didn’t. She insisted on staying until every job was done. I knew it was only because she wanted to keep an eye on me, to make sure I didn’t completely lose it, especially with a guest in the house.
“And what would we ever have in common to talk about?”
“Evangeline.”
I felt a sharp stab in my chest upon hearing that name but also a streak of jealously. Why in the hell would he bring up her name in front of me, to my face and, more importantly, inside my home? Was he stupid enough to think I wouldn’t hit him in front of my housekeeper? I’d take a swing at him even if we were in a crowded place. I felt my fist tighten at my side thinking about how much I couldn’t stand the guy.
“Mr. Hudson, I think Mr. Fox is a little busy at the—”
“No. I want to hear what he has to say, Rose. Let him in.” I didn’t take my eyes off Hawke the entire time I spoke. His gaze never faulted either, which only frustrated me further. My eyes narrowed. I wanted to know what he was up to. If he was in
my
house to rub it in my face that he was with Evangeline, I was going to make sure he didn’t leave without a mark on that preppy, golden-child face of his.
“Sure thing. Right this way, Mr. Hudson; I’ll take you through to the office.”
Hawke tore his gaze from me to look at Rose. He nodded politely and thanked her before following her down the hall without so much as another glance at me.
“I’ll be there shortly,” I called out after them.
Yep, good idea.
I couldn’t go in there all wound-up; I needed to calm the fuck down first. I closed the front door and paced up and down the hallway. Maybe it wasn’t anything to do with the two of them. Perhaps she missed me?
Yeah, sure!
What if something was wrong? Perhaps she was hurt? What if she was?
Fuck it!
Before I knew it, I was stalking down the hall in the direction of the office. By the time I reached the room, Rose was just leaving and closing the office door behind her. I grabbed the handle but she stopped me momentarily.
“Mr. Fox, please, let him speak. I can sense something is troubling the poor boy, and if you go in there attacking him, the issue he has come here with will not get resolved.”
I frowned. What made her think I wouldn’t let him speak? “You need to control your temper,” she added, as if reading my mind.
Right.
Damn, she knew me inside-out. “I’ll promise to let him talk, but if he says one thing wrong, I’ll knock the living daylights out of him.” She gave me a stern warning look, to which I added, “Perhaps you should wait right here then… Just in case.”
She nodded as if that was what she had planned to do in the first place and let go of my hand. I knew the poor woman wouldn’t be able to stop me if I decided to hit the idiot, but having her near calmed me. I’d be less tempted to hit Hawke knowing Rose was standing just outside the door. I hoped so, anyway.
When I entered the room, Hawke had his back to me and was staring at one of the abstract paintings hanging on the wall.
“I won that piece at a charity auction a couple of years back,” I said in an attempt to be nice.
Hawke spun around to face me. There was a small smile on his face. “Nikolai Antonov, right? It’s a beautiful series, but this one in particular is my favorite.”
Huh
. Look at that. The guy knew his stuff. “Mine, too,” I admitted.
An awkward silence soon fell over us and I found myself focusing on the Antonov painting above his head until the thought of knowing that something was wrong with Evangeline got too much. “All right, tell me what you’ve come here to say.”
When I heard him sigh, I knew the story wasn’t going to be a short one. I walked over to my desk, pointing at the sofa against the wall, indicating for Hawke to sit there. He nodded to show he understood and took a seat. I also sat down, leaning back in my chair.
“Ryan, there are a few things I need to tell you.”
I remained where I was, refusing to show how much his few words affected me already. “Well, get with it,” I replied with a blank expression.
“All right.” There was a small pause before he began again. “You already know I think Evangeline deserves better, but for some reason she’s chosen you.”
“You
do
realize she’s moved to the other side of the country, don’t you? She hasn’t chosen me at all. You’re the one she’s
fucking
now.” I made it clear to emphasize the word and narrowed my eyes at him.
Hawke didn’t bite. “I’m not going to lie; we shared a kiss after you two broke up…” I felt my hands turn to fists underneath the table and my jaw tighten. “She is everything I’ve ever wanted, but I’ve also been hoping she’d see me that way, too. She doesn’t, of course. She won’t admit it, but she still loves you, Ryan.”
“Why are you telling me this? To torture me?”
“No, of course not. I just thought you should know. If you still love her, you should fight harder for her.”
“
Excuse me
?” I snapped, straightening in my chair.
“You heard me, fight for her!” His voice became firm. “Because if you don’t, someone else will. I’d be more than happy to step into your shoes, Ryan. She deserves a good guy, someone who will make her happy, look after her…protect her.”
I slowly stood up, feeling every muscle in my body tightening. “What are you trying to say, Hudson? Are you trying to get me to give you my blessing? So you can be free to have her?”
Hawke remained seated but moved forward so he was leaning over with his elbows resting in his lap, his face still looking up at me. “Ryan, it’s not like that at all. I’m telling you to go after her, but if you’re going to let the only girl worth fighting for slip through your fingers because of your damn ego, then I
will
step in. I don’t need your blessing. If she chooses to marry me then that’s her—”
“What the fuck did you just say?” My hand gripped the edge of the desk tightly. It was the only thing holding me back from launching myself at him.
Damn him
!
Hawke stood up, as if my reaction was exactly what he was after.
Surely he wouldn’t be trying to provoke me from hitting him?
“You heard me,” he replied firmly. “Just because she doesn’t see me the way she sees you isn’t going to stop me from asking. I’m good for her, Ryan. We both know it. So, perhaps it’s a good thing you aren’t willing to go that extra mile, huh? She deserves someone who will put her first, tell her—”
He didn’t get to finish the rest of his sentence. The very thought of this idiot dropping to one knee and confessing his love to
my
girl made me see red, and suddenly I was standing next to the sofa, my jaw clenched and knuckles sore. Hawke stood a few feet away, covering one side of his face where my fist had connected. Even though he was expecting it, I’d managed to get him good.
That’ll teach him
.
“Don’t you
dare
say those words to me ever again,” I growled.
“You needed to hear them, Ryan! And I’d say them again just to know you understood them loud and clear.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” I shouted. I was blinded by rage at that point. “Get the fuck out of my house before I put another mark on that pretty face!” I added, pointing sharply toward the door.
Just then, the door to the office swung open and a determined-looking Rose came marching in. “That’s enough, the both of you. Mr. Fox, you need to calm down and Mr. Hudson, it’s time to leave.”
We both blinked and turned to face her. Clearing my throat, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Hearing Hawke’s voice caused me to open them again.
“You’re right. I’m sorry, Mrs. Hernandez. I just have one more thing to say before I leave.”
“You’ve said enough,” I growled.
Hawke’s narrowed eyes returned to mine. I didn’t bother holding back the smile at the sight of the red mark under his eye. “I meant everything I said, Fox. If you don’t help her, be prepared to lose her forever.”
“Help her from what? She’s the one who broke my heart, not the other way around.”
Fuck, I can’t believe I just admitted that.
“She’s pregnant, damn it!” Hawke shouted. My jaw dropped and I was pretty sure I felt it smack hard against the ground. “It’s yours, Ryan,” he added in a much calmer tone.
I suddenly felt dizzy. I felt myself falling and quickly grabbed hold of the desk for support. Rose was saying something; I could see her lips moving but all I could hear coming out were slow, muddled-up sounds. Evangeline was pregnant…was that the reason she left without saying a word? How could she? “Get out…” I managed to utter. I needed to think, and I couldn’t do it with everyone else in the room. “Please, get out, both of you,” I said, a little louder and firmer.
Rose immediately came to my side and grabbed hold of my arm. “I’m fine, Rose. I just need time to think.” She gently rubbed my back before silently leaving with Hawke Hudson.
When I heard the click of the door closing and I was alone, I collapsed onto the office chair and ran a hand through my hair before letting it rest there, leaning my elbow against the arm of the chair.
Is it for real this time, or just another sick practical joke like Jessica’s?
It could be true; she was the only person I ever forgot to wear a rubber with. But she’d told me she was on birth control. Was I ready to become a dad? Earlier in the year, I was the guy who didn’t
do
commitment. I had a different girl in my bed almost every night. Meeting Evangeline Montgomery changed that. Not by force, but I wanted to be a better person with her. If she really
was
pregnant, the thought of her carrying my child, raising my child alone, saddened me. I didn’t want her to go through it all by herself. I promised myself to be a better person than my dad ever was, and sitting back and doing nothing turned me into the very man I despised. I had to go to her; I needed her to know how much I still loved her and that I would do anything to have her back in my life, baby and all.