Catching Caitlin (3 page)

I groped for words. “Is
she depressed?” I barely could make myself think about what it must be like.
Vaguely, I worried I might know.

“I don’t know. I can’t
force her to tell me anything. She won’t see a therapist, or anything.” He
dropped his elbows onto his legs and hid his face in his hands. “I’m sorry you
have to see her like this. I know that’s one of the reasons you stopped
visiting.”

“How come you never told
me you were sober?”

“I don’t know. I thought
about it a lot. I guess I didn’t want you to think I was lying, or something.”

He was right, I would
have thought he was lying. It was a reoccurring nightmare in my childhood, and
it stuck to me. I knew that my parents met through drinking when they were in
college, and when the teachers in middle school warned us about drinking, I
swore I’d never touch the stuff.

Of course, that all
changed freshmen year... after thanksgiving.

“Dad,” I said. “I lost my
Bell Scholarship, so I couldn’t stay in school. That’s why I’m here.”

“Oh,” he said, giving me
a hug. “Well...” he thought for a moment, choosing his words. I braced myself
for a lecture, a speech. “Shit happens. I know you’ll bounce back.” He wasn’t
mad.

I felt a pang of emotion
flood my chest, like a dam just burst open. My eyes welled up, and I hugged
him. “I’m can’t believe you’re not mad.”

“I would have been, three
years ago. But I’m calmer now, I hope I can show you that. Everyone falls down,
but you can always climb to your feet. God knows I have. You’ll get up.”

We sat in silence for a
while, just watching the movie together. Laughing at the dumb jokes, and
pointing out the weird mistakes. I appreciated that my dad cared about me. I
hadn’t felt that kind of affection in so long. It was refreshing.

After the movie ended, my
dad switched the TV off. I looked at him expectantly.

“Well it’s getting late,
Cat, so I better head to bed.” He stood up, and started down the hall. Then he
turned toward the guest bedroom and grabbed the door handle.

“You... don’t sleep with
mom?”

“Nope. I haven’t for a
while. It’s too hard for me. Good night, Cat.”

I swallowed hard, gulping
down my emotions. “Good night, Dad.”

***

I
went upstairs and laid
on my bed. It smelt a bit musty. I looked at the clock, barely past 1AM. The
night was still young.

I thought about Hugh, his
chiseled jaw and striking eyes. I turned my light off and ran the ceiling fan,
the
tap-tap-tapping
of the pull string distracting me for a moment.

I hadn’t seen him in
years, and I couldn’t believe the kind of queasy emotions it was bringing about
in me. The way his eyes danced between mine, daring to not take a scandalous
peek at my cleavage. I felt all fluttery from it.

Another thought and
memory brushed past me. It was like standing in a field of tall grass, the wind
occasionally pushing the strands against my bare legs, tickling and itching me
at the same time.

We’d met when I was a
sophomore in high school. He was a senior, and it wasn’t anything I was
prepared for. I was an introverted girl, who tried to act like I didn’t like my
science and math classes. And he was more of a ballsy rugby jock. Electricity
sparked, and the next thing I knew we were going to homecoming together. A blue
ocean theme. I wore sea-mist-green, backless silk dress. Although it wasn’t
allowed, no one stopped me. He wore matching colored accents on his suit.

We ended up having sex. I
was young, naive, nervous, but he made me feel so strong and serene. His lips
had nuzzled my ear. His arms wrapped around my sticky body, and his breath
tickled my neck. The hours between when we left the dance and I had to be home
were ours. No one could steal those from us. Sports practice and homework got
in the way occasionally, not to mention my embarrassment about my parents.

What else could happen
now? After so long?

I
awoke from the chirping
birds outside my window. It was an unfamiliar sound after so many years. They
always had a way of waking me up. I groaned, turning down the sheets and
rubbing my head. It was early afternoon. My corrected clock ticked over to
11am. Early for me at least.

I climbed out of bed and
dressed, forgetting if I had set a time with Hugh or not. Did he say he was
going to call me? It was hard to recall with my headache.

I wandered into the
bathroom and took some ibuprofen. I took a moment to brush my teeth. The
toothbrush had been there since I left, so I tried not to think about the weird
aftertaste it left in my mouth. I’d have to get a new one.

My phone rang from my
bedroom, and I dashed back to answer it.

“Hello?” I didn’t even
get a chance to look at the caller ID.

It was Aaron. “Hey, Cat,
I wanted to see how you were doing this morning?”

I groaned a little,
trying to not let my frustration seep into my voice. “I’m not too bad actually,
a little bit of a headache.” I paused, hoping maybe that would be the end of
it. I really wanted to hear from Hugh. “Thanks again for the ride.”

He breathed over the
line. “No problem. If you need anything, let me know.”

“Thanks.”

He hung up. I groaned,
pacing back into the bathroom to finish getting ready when my phone rang again.
I dashed back and double checked the ID this time.

Not Aaron.

The number was familiar,
but I didn’t have it in my contacts list. It was a shame really, I remembered
being a lot better about memorizing numbers before I had my own phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello Caitlin,” Hugh
said, his voice bright and awake. More than mine, I was sure.

“Hugh!” I said,
regretting the excitement in my voice. I had to be more restrained. “I don’t
remember if we set a time for lunch.”

“We hadn’t. I’m actually
calling to see when you were free.”

I looked around my messy
room. There were clothes strewn all over the place, half opened boxes gaping.
“I’m free now, I just need to get cleaned up.”

“Great, I’ll be over
there in thirty minutes.”

“You know where to go? Or
do you remember that too?”

“I didn’t forget that
either. I’ll see you soon Cat.” He hung up with a quiet beep.

Only a half hour. I’d
have to be fast. I hopped in the shower, hoping to scrub away any smell of
sweat or alcohol on me. It’d be really embarrassing if he showed up and I still
looked like yesterday’s news. I knew I shouldn’t have cared, but I really, really
did.

I picked out my least
wrinkled clothes and did my makeup. Maybe a bit conservative today.

***

T
hirty minutes later, the
doorbell rang right on time.

I nearly fell down the
stairs, only saved by my death grip on the railing. I opened the front door.

Hugh looked as ravishing
as I expected he would. Casual button up with jeans. His stubble was as
perfectly groomed as it was yesterday.

“Hey there,” he said. He
leaned against the threshold of the door. He cracked a smile at me.

“Hi,” I couldn’t help myself.
I always felt like I was shrinking down when someone could dominate my emotions
so easily.

“You ready to go?” he
asked. I nodded, and we left the house. “Wow, is this yours?” Before he
answered, he unlocked it and climbed in. I lowered myself into the passenger
seat.

I ran my hand over the
pristine dash, admiring the cold metal.

“This is a rental.” He
pointed at the non-smoking sign. They were plastered all over the inside of the
car. “I wonder what the company would do if you smoked anyway?”

He backed out of my
parents’ driveway and headed downtown.

Hugh had a way of
driving, it was hard to pin down. It wasn’t so much like he was controlling the
vehicle, but that he was wrestling it, like a wild animal. His arms were tense
and his focus powerful.

“Where are we going?”

He took a left turn. “A
little sushi place that opened up about a year ago. Since it opened, that’s
been my go-to for lunch whenever I’m here.”

“Oh, so nothing you
haven’t taken any girls to before?”

He shook his head, “No,
you’re the first to see this little secret.”

The radio was on, playing
some smooth jazz. That must have been new too.

“You obviously don’t live
here, or you wouldn’t have a rental.”

“I visit often. I get a
lot of time off work, so it’s nice to come see something that isn’t the desert.
We’re here.”

He parked the car, and I
looked out the window to see what I was getting myself into. A small wooden
sign hung from the side of the building, “Super Sushi,” specials were on
posters on the outside.

“‘Super Sushi’? Sounds...
interesting.”

“Shush, you’ll see.” We
climbed out of the car and I followed him inside. He had his guard up, which
was interesting.

The golden band on his
ring finger was still bothering me too.

We sat at the sushi bar.
Surrounding the chef’s preparation area was a moat with little wooden boats
lazily gliding across the water. The lone chef was just getting started at
slicing and dicing. It was odd being shoulder to shoulder with Hugh, rather
than face to face.

I picked up my menu and
stared at it, hard. My lack of hunger made it almost impossible to think of
food. I thought maybe I could peek over at Hugh’s menu, but he hadn’t touched
it.

“Cay —,” he said,
touching my shoulder. I lowered my menu and sighed.

“God. You’re the only one
who I’ve ever let call me that. You know that don’t you?” I felt a lump in my
chest, this tightening.

“Really?” he looked
amused. He pointed at the little wooden boats in the moat, “You don’t have to
order anything, this is a sushi plate restaurant. They charge you per plate.
They float down on these boats and you just pick whatever you want.”

“Oh,” I set my menu down,
and looked at the floating boats. The chef started placing plates on the boats,
and they drifted around the center island with a kind of lazy air. That’s when
I noticed we were the only people in the restaurant.

Hugh took a plate and set
it down. He startled me when he cracked open his chopsticks.

“You actually use those?”
I asked.

“Of course! I have to
keep my skill up. Who knows if I end up on some desert island without forks?”

I frowned. I didn’t know
how to use chopsticks. I guess I’d be screwed on a desert island. Hopefully
there were forks buried in the sand or something.

“So, Cay,” he began. That
nick name only sounded good coming from him. “What brings you back to Maine?
You said it was a long story, but now we have time. I’d like to hear about it.”

I smiled, even though I
wanted to die inside. Admitting to him that I flunked out of college seemed
like the least attractive thing I could do. I took my own plate of sushi.
Picking it up with my fingers, I tried to ignore the chopsticks next to me.

I eyes grew wide. “This
is really good!” I said, my mouth full. Hugh laughed in a way that made his
eyes twinkle. I caught myself, covering my mouth with my hand and trying not to
laugh.

I swallowed, and realized
he was patiently waiting for my reply.

I braced myself. “I lost
a scholarship.” He ate one of his pieces of sushi, nodding in response. “So I
had to come home, for a little while at least.”
That’s it?

He swallowed hard, waving
his hand as if it was too hot. I chuckled again, feeling my cheeks turn red.
“You’re here visiting your dad.” He nodded again, taking another plate of sushi
off one of the passing boats. “What do you do for work?”

He raised his eyebrows,
intrigued. “You want to know?” He ate another roll of sushi. I was losing
ground fast, he already had three empty plates stacked.

I took a plate off the
next boat and dipped the sushi in soy sauce this time. It was just as good.

“I work for Silver Energy
in Nevada.” He chewed quietly, “I was interning there, and they hired me on.
That was...” he looked up, counting. “Four years ago?”

“You must be doing pretty
well if you can come visit Maine all the time. Nevada isn’t exactly next door.”

“I do well enough, that’s
right.” His eyes followed the boats, before meeting my eyes. I felt like I
should look away, like I was staring at the sun.

He grinned, and pointed
at my hand. It felt gross and sticky, so I was hovering my hand over the bar. 
“Do you not know how to use chopsticks?”

I frowned, shaking my
head. “Those stupid instructions on the package never worked for me. Unless it
has a rubber band on it, I can’t do it.”

“I guess you’ll just die
on that island then.” He took another bite, working his chopsticks like an
extension of his hand.

I frowned. “I’m sure I’ll
be able to find a fork or just use my hands.”

Hugh leaned close, and
whispered into my ear. His breath was warm, and it tickled my neck. “You have
to have some dignity. I’ll teach you.”

He reached across my
empty plates and took my chopsticks, his cologne wafting up and meeting me. It
was like getting a whiff of pure nostalgia, the kind that makes you wish you
never had to leave.

He opened the package and
cracked the sticks apart. “Here, give me your hand. You’re left handed right?”
I nodded, lifting my hand to meet his.

His warm hand squeezed
mine gently, or was that my imagination making my heart race faster than it
should have? He put the sticks between my index finger and thumb. “Okay, now
imagine you’re just pinching something.” I squeezed my hand and the sticks
slipped out.

He picked them up and put
them back in my hand, holding his over mine. “Okay, I’ll guide you now,” he
placed his hand over mine again.

“Hold the bottom one
steady, like it’s nestled right in that crack at the base of your thumb.” He
demonstrated with his free hand.

“Then slowly pinch the
top, guiding it with your index,” his hand teased my finger, slowly coaxing a
lifting motion out of me. The tips met on the chopsticks.

“Now try.”

He let go of me, and I
felt like gasping. I aimed my chopsticks, carefully hugging the sushi roll.

I squeezed, watching
nervously, and was able to pick it up. My grip was too tight, and I pulled the
roll apart, the pieces falling onto the plate. I laughed.

“Oh my god! I had just
given up on that! I can’t believe you were able to teach me. No one else could
before.”

He smiled, picking up his
own sticks. I followed his eyes, and caught them flicking across my body.

“So listen,” he said. I
turned to him, still feeling drunk off my success and his scent. “I’m only
going to be in town for until tomorrow morning, so I wanted to see if you were
free tonight?”

I raised my eyebrows.
“Tonight? Well...” I thought about what that might entail. I glanced at this
wedding band again.

He noticed. “I promise
I’m not married. I’ll tell you the story, but not yet. It takes a lot out of
me.”

I nodded. “Does this
place have any Sake?”

“Sake? You want some?” he
asked. “I suppose we could have a little lunch warmth, sounds good to me. What
do you like?”

“Anything, I’ve never
really had it. It sounds fun.”

He waved to the chef and
ordered some sake for us, as a little lunch cap.

When the sake came, it
was in two steaming glasses, about the size of tea cups. Hugh handed me mine,
and took his in his hand.

He nodded and we cheered
each other. “To a renewed life.”

“To a renewed life,” I
repeated. We clinked the cups together, and brought them to our lips
simultaneously.

I stared at Hugh over the
steaming cup of sweet alcohol, a smile flashing across his lips before we
drank.
I was in for a ride wasn’t I?

***

A
fter lunch, we ended up
going back to his hotel. After hearing about his job, I shouldn’t have been
surprised when he handed his car key to the valet of the biggest and classiest
hotel in town.

He nodded to the door man
as we stepped inside. As I followed him to the elevators, I only got a quick
glance at how the lobby looked. My throat felt tight, and my hands were
shaking. It was like my eyes were just fixed on his back, on making sure I
didn’t somehow lose him, or that he didn’t disappear if I looked away for too
long.
Am I rushing into this? What does he expect to get from me?

I watched him, thinking
maybe I might somehow figure it all out. He gave me a funny look.

“What’s going on? You
look a little white.”

I shook my head and waved
his concern away. He called for the elevator, while I found myself staring at
my reflection in the golden doors.

I kept my eyes fixed on
my reflection. “You aren’t staying with your dad?” I asked.

“I don’t want to
inconvenience him. He downsized after I went to college and there isn’t any
room for me. Besides, it’s better to sleep in a company-paid suite than a fold
out couch, you know?” He scratched his neck.

I nodded, trying to
imagine if my parents didn’t have room for me anymore. I’d be on a couch, that
was for sure. Not even a fold out.

We stepped into the
elevator, and he swiped his keycard into the panel. The highest button lit up,
simply titled “
PH”.
I stared, he wasn’t kidding.

I stared at the button,
long after he pulled his finger away. The elevator jerked upward, and I found
my tongue drying up. “Do you think Penthouse magazine is named after a
Penthouse Suite, or is it the other way around?”

He laughed. “I don’t
know, I guess I’ve never thought about it before.”

“Do they do photo shoots
in a Penthouse, or do all the stories start with ‘I never thought this would
happen to me... especially in a Penthouse suite.’” I was being ridiculous, my
own delirium getting the better of me.