Catching Fireflies (33 page)

“That could be best for everyone,” J.C. said.

“Only if Mariah accepts it graciously,” Helen warned. “I’m not convinced she’s capable of that. If anything, she’s going to be more furious than ever with Laura and Betty.” She met his gaze. “That reminds me, Laura said to tell you she’d be at home. She’d like you to come by.”

J.C. nodded. “I want to see the Dawsons first, then I’ll head over there.”

Or not, he thought. He wasn’t sure he was quite ready to see the pity in Laura’s eyes when she looked at him. It had been there after he spoke. It was the same look he’d seen time and again after Stevie had died. It was usually accompanied by a bunch of platitudes that didn’t mean a thing, that his brother’s death was a terrible tragedy, but that none of it was his fault.

Nonsense. He’d known what was happening to his brother and he hadn’t stopped it. If that didn’t place the blame squarely on his shoulders, then what would?

* * *

Laura was beside herself. There’d been no sign of J.C. on Saturday afternoon. Nor had she heard from him that evening or today. When Helen had called to give her an update on the charges pending against the various students involved in the previous day’s debacle, she made herself ask about J.C.

“He didn’t come by?” Helen asked, clearly surprised. “I passed along your message and he said he was going by the Dawsons first and would head to your place after that.”

“I haven’t heard a word from him,” Laura admitted. “Maybe I should go over to his place to check on him.”

Silence greeted her words. “Maybe not,” Helen said eventually. “Yesterday was obviously very emotional for him. He laid himself bare before the entire town, told something he’s apparently never revealed to anyone in town before, an obviously painful part of his past. I spoke to Bill briefly, and he said J.C. had never even mentioned it to him. He probably needs to regroup.”

“But what does it say about us that he doesn’t want my support while he does that?” Laura said wearily. “Maybe I’ve been kidding myself that we’re actually building a strong relationship here.”

“I don’t know J.C. all that well, but I know a little bit about men who feel guilty about a tragedy, even when that guilt isn’t justified,” Helen said. “They’re terrified that the people they love will think less of them.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Laura said.

“That’s male pride,” Helen countered. “Give him a little time, Laura. He’ll come around. At least, that’s my advice. You’re free to ignore it. Until Erik, my track record with men wasn’t exactly a shining example of what healthy relationships were meant to be.”

Laura chuckled at the honest statement. “I’ll take that into consideration.”

“J.C.’s a good guy,” Helen said. “That much I do know. I wasn’t always sure of it, but now I am.”

“I know,” Laura said softly. She’d already recognized that he was one of the best. And he’d come along when she’d almost given up hope of finding real love, the kind that would weather any storm.

* * *

On Monday morning, Laura didn’t have a second to spare for thoughts about J.C. The halls were erupting with angry chatter as the news leaked out that a number of the football players had been suspended from playing for the remainder of the season, including Greg Bennett. To her regret, the blame for that was being placed not where it belonged—on the young men themselves—but on Misty.

She debated with herself, then decided to address the situation in her first class. Maybe she could diffuse the situation at least a little.

“I’ve heard a lot of talk this morning about what happened on Saturday and about the fallout,” she began, only to draw hostile stares from many of her students. “Let’s talk about it.” She looked into each grim face. “And let’s do it politely.”

“It’s all because Misty Dawson is not only a little slut, but a crybaby,” one of the girls said snidely.

Laura held her gaze. “Which part of
politely
didn’t you understand? Students in my classes don’t call each other sluts or crybabies or anything else that’s intended to deliberately hurt them. That’s bullying. Have you learned nothing from what’s been going on recently? Words can wound people. Actions can wound people. And yet I look at you and some of you clearly still think it’s one big joke. Annabelle Litchfield is being transferred to another school because of this. Greg Bennett is likely to lose his college scholarship because he can’t play ball the rest of the season. What about any of that strikes you as funny?”

“It’s not funny,” Jeb Hightower said. “It’s wrong. I hope Misty can’t sleep because of what she’s done to them.”

Laura regarded him with shock. “Hold on. Misty was the victim, not Annabelle or Greg. She was targeted online and right here at school with vicious rumors and lies designed to humiliate and embarrass her.”

“What makes you think they were lies?” Jeb said, looking around with a smirk. “A picture’s better than a thousand words, right?”

“And a fake picture says more about the person who created it than it does about the person supposedly in it,” Laura corrected, though she could see that she wasn’t getting through to them. They were intent on defending their friends and demonizing Misty. How on earth was she supposed to turn this around? Could it even be done?

“Does anyone here have a different perspective?” she asked hopefully.

Sally Washington, a shy girl who rarely spoke unless called on, raised her hand tentatively. “I think maybe they don’t get it,” she said, nodding toward Jeb and Hailey who’d spoken out first, “because nobody’s ever picked on them.”

“Or because they were born bullies, too,” Tim Rogers dared to say, shooting a defiant look at Jeb. “You started stealing lunch money from the littler kids back in first grade. You did it just because you were bigger and you could.”

“And, Hailey, you never speak to anyone who isn’t pretty or popular,” Sally added, apparently gaining strength from Tim’s accusations. “It’s like the rest of us don’t even exist. At most we’re an annoyance in your perfect little world. I’m tired of it. If you don’t like me, fine. I don’t need to be your friend, but I’m a person and you should at least be polite to me and the other kids who aren’t as popular as you.”

Sally’s declaration stirred a few others to echo the same thoughts, and suddenly the tide turned ever-so-slightly. Hailey, Jeb and a few others were on the defensive and had perhaps their first taste of feeling what it was like to be disparaged and ridiculed publicly.

Jeb continued to look defiant, but Hailey actually looked shaken. Her eyes filled with tears.

“I didn’t know,” she whispered. “I honestly didn’t know how it felt to have people say hateful things.”

Laura held up a hand to stop the discussion. “I think what happened in here just now is really, really important. I hope all of you will think about it before you speak disrespectfully to or about another classmate. Sally got it exactly right. You don’t all have to be best friends, but you do owe it to each other to be courteous and respectful. Sally and Tim, thank you for speaking up. And, Hailey, I’m proud of you for taking another look at what you’ve been doing.”

When the bell rang, she dismissed the class, feeling the tiniest bit more optimistic.

But as soon as she stepped into the hall, she saw Jeb immediately align himself with his buddies, overheard the same old rallying cry in Greg and Annabelle’s defense. And knew that the risk to Misty was far from over.

* * *

J.C. was glancing at his next patient’s file, when Debra stepped into his office. “Laura Reed is on the phone for you. She sounds upset.”

Though he’d spent most of the weekend avoiding her, he knew that couldn’t go on forever. He nodded. “I’ll take it. Let Mrs. Hodges know I’ll be in to check Liza in a minute.”

Debra nodded, then retreated and closed the door behind her. J.C. picked up his phone.

“Is everything okay?” he asked at once. “Is Misty in school?”

“No sign of her,” Laura said tersely. “I’m really worried, J.C., and not just because she didn’t show up. I guess that’s understandable under the circumstances, but the talk around school isn’t good. The kids are taking sides. Some of them, especially those who’ve dealt with their own instances of bullying over the years, are firmly on her side, but the others, I don’t know, J.C., their attitude scares me. I think they want revenge of some kind. They see Annabelle and Greg and the others who’ve been suspended as the real victims.”

“Unfortunately, I suppose that’s not really surprising. Have you heard about any specific plans for retaliation?”

“No, but I have to wonder just how much more Misty can take. I called Diana before I called you, and she says Misty’s been locked in her room most of the day. She won’t talk and she won’t come out. I can tell that Diana’s starting to freak out just a little. I have a terrible feeling some of what I’m hearing here at school is spilling over onto the internet and Misty’s aware of it.”

“I can’t say I blame Misty for wanting to hide out or Diana for being scared,” J.C. said. “I’m sure my story about Stevie probably didn’t help matters. I meant it to be a warning to the perpetrators of how tragic things can get, but I imagine Diana can’t shake that image. I should have thought of that.”

“It was a story people needed to hear,” Laura said with conviction. “Don’t beat yourself up for sharing it. And I didn’t call to make you freak out over Misty, either. I’m just wondering if we shouldn’t go over there.”

“No question about it,” J.C. said. “I was there for a while on Saturday, and Misty seemed to be holding up okay, but I have no idea what’s been happening online since then. It makes sense to check on her. I’ll pick you up the minute school’s out.”

“Thank you,” Laura said.

“No thanks necessary.”

“Yes, there are. You didn’t make me feel like an idiot for worrying.”

“Are you kidding me?” he said incredulously. “It’s because you care so deeply that I fell for you.” He heard her faint gasp of surprise and almost smiled. That was definitely a conversation they needed to have soon. Things between them deserved some clarity, which he imagined had been in short supply the past few days with him steering clear of her, rather than turning to her for comfort.

“I’ll see you soon,” he told her. “We’re going to find everything is just fine when we get there.”

Despite the staunch words, though, he was a wreck for the next couple of hours until he could leave to pick up Laura. It took every ounce of restraint he possessed not to jump in his car and head straight over to the Dawsons. He did allow himself to make a quick call to Diana, who said Misty had emerged long enough to eat some soup. That was reassuring enough to get him through the rest of the afternoon.

Still, thoughts of Stevie were never far from mind. All those years ago, he’d managed to convince himself his brother was coping okay. He’d been so caught up in his own activities in high school, he’d left Stevie to fend for himself.

He’d realized just how mistaken he’d been when he’d come home one day to find his brother had hanged himself from the light fixture in his room. He was barely breathing when J.C. got to him. J.C. had done everything in his power to resuscitate him as he’d waited for the paramedics, but it had been too long. Though Stevie had clung to life with the help of machines for a few more days, his parents had eventually made the horrendous decision to let him go. None of them had ever entirely recovered. His mother had left for the final time soon after.

Those days had changed J.C. forever. He’d chosen his medical specialty of pediatrics with an eye toward being alert to all signs of bullying affecting his young patients. It still killed him that he hadn’t spotted it sooner in Misty’s case.

Though he told himself she was fine a hundred times as the clocked slowly ticked off each interminable minute, he still found himself at the high school at two, rather than three. Laura regarded him with surprise.

“Can you get away now?” he asked, unable to hide his sense of urgency.

She took one look at his face or heard something in his voice and immediately nodded. “Give me two minutes to get someone in here to cover my class.”

Not until they were in his car did she reach for his tensed arm, resting her hand there until he slowly relaxed.

“Did you speak to Misty?” she asked.

He shook his head.

“Diana?”

“Yes, and she even said Misty had eaten a little soup for lunch.”

“Then what spooked you? Were you thinking about your brother?”

“How could I not?” he asked angrily. “I should have done more. He died because I didn’t protect him.”

“No, J.C. What happened was a tragedy, but it wasn’t your fault. You were, what, eighteen when he died, even younger when you had to start protecting him? You couldn’t have understood then how lost and alone he was feeling.”

“Maybe not, but I did know what was happening. I just turned into some self-absorbed jerk and convinced myself he could handle it. I forgot all about my own brother,” he said, his tone filled with the self-loathing that was never far away whenever he thought of Stevie’s death.

As they pulled to a stop in front of the Dawsons’ house, Laura forced him to meet her gaze. “Have you ever let down another child?”

“There have been patients I couldn’t help,” he said.

“But not for lack of trying, right? Just as you’re doing everything possible for Misty. We both are. This situation is going to get better, J.C.”

“How can you possibly be so sure of that?” he asked.

She smiled then and the ice around his heart seemed to melt just a little.

“Because you and I will see to it,” she told him. “I have that much faith in us, in you.”

For the first time in years, J.C. actually felt as if he just might be the kind of man who was worthy of such unquestioning trust.

* * *

When Misty heard a car outside and glanced out her bedroom window, she saw both Dr. Fullerton and Ms. Reed walking toward the house. At the sight of them, she panicked. Leaving her room, she raced down the stairs to beat her mom to the door.

“You’re not here to make me go back to school, are you?” she demanded when she opened it. “Please, don’t try to force me to go. I can’t. All of Annabelle’s friends hate me now, and just the way I thought it would, it’s getting uglier online. Now the other kids are posting mean things, too. Today’s been worse than ever.”