Chain of Command (21 page)

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Authors: Helenkay Dimon

Tags: #Romance

BOOK: Chain of Command
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Chapter Twenty-One

Jason’s words still rang in Sawyer’s ears as he drove up to Hailey’s house after being buzzed through the gate. He walked, almost in a daze, to the front door, half expecting her to come out swinging that bat.

He had no idea why she wanted him here today. Maybe this was the final moment. The last meeting where she ended it all, personal and business. A hollow sensation caved in his stomach just thinking that might be the case.

The door opened and she waited on the other side of the screen. He didn’t make a move. Just stood there, searching his mind for the best welcome.

“Hey.” Not his finest move or greatest line, but at least he managed to say something.

She opened the door and gestured for him to move. “Come in.”

He’d practiced a little speech on the way over. Something about him understanding her anger but explaining how he had limits in how he treated people, even when money was involved. He liked to think he had a strong character but she had him doubting his every move. He needed her to know him on this level, as decent.

As he stood in the middle of her family room, all the words fell away. He couldn’t mentally grab even one sentence. Moving on little sleep and hopped up on caffeine, the rational side of his brain failed him. He wanted to plead his case even as he grew more ticked off at thinking he had to.

The only other thing he could do was spill it. Tell her every move that brought him to her. “Look, Hailey—”

“Come here.” She reached out a hand to him.

He had no idea what this meant or why she seemed to be leaning toward a peaceful discussion today after last night’s heated one. But he could see the darkness under her eyes and exhaustion pulling around her mouth. Looked like their few hours apart hadn’t been any easier on her than it had been on him.

Rather than point that out, he enjoyed the feeling of her warm hand in his. She guided him through the family room and into a small doorway to the one room he hadn’t seen. The one with the closed door. The only one where they hadn’t had sex.

He glanced inside the room and saw a desk with papers stacked on it and boxes on the floor by the side of the chair. Other than a window and bookcases, the room looked empty. Certainly lifeless compared to the colors and comfort of the rest of the house. Sawyer didn’t even see a photo on the wall.

He guessed this acted as an office of some kind, but he didn’t know if the paperwork belonged to Rob or to her. “What’s all this?”

“Evidence of the people wanting a piece of the land.”

The words didn’t really make sense in Sawyer’s head, so he moved in closer, trying to get a look at some of the files and headers on the letters. “What?”

“These are a portion of the proposals, suggestions, requests and offers people have made to me since Rob’s death. But it’s only a fraction of what Rob reviewed. Those boxes are in storage.” She stepped up beside Sawyer and put her hand first on the top of the highest pile then swept it across the binders and down toward the floor. “That box has sales materials, like brochures and that sort of stuff.”

Someone had put a lot of work into winning her over. Not just one someone. A lot of them. Businesses and community groups. Just a cursory look at the names of the businesses and individuals who chimed in gave Sawyer a headache.

“Jesus.” He kept thinking about all those man hours and all the money she’d been offered. No wonder she questioned what he was doing to get in line.

She leaned against the doorjamb. “I’ve also attended a few live pitches and had to turn a bunch of people away. Some of those folks objected and came right up to my door to try to convince me. Needless to say, that wasn’t effective.”

“Which is one of the reasons you installed the fence and heavy alarm system.” All the pieces fell into place. The fence protected her from Pete but that was just a sideshow. She’d put up the fancy equipment as a deterrent. To protect the property from the people who wanted to buy it or grab it from her for almost nothing.

“Yes.”

“So, I’m one in a long line.” God, he’d been so stupid. There was no way he could compete with these options.

“The range idea is, yes.”

It was the way she said it that caught his attention. She didn’t just agree or give an explanation. She parsed her words.

He didn’t. “What does that mean?”

“What I feel for you is separate from what I’m going to do with the property.” She trailed her hand down his chest to land on the top of his jeans, right by the button.

And like that his brain cells blew out of his head, leaving behind babble and need and not a whole lot he could use to construct a coherent sentence. “Which is?”

“I don’t know.”

He tried to step back and slammed his ass into the other side of the doorway. Since running didn’t suit him, he stood there and scrambled to make sense. “Do you want me to pitch to you?”

“Not really, but it’s only fair that you have a chance.”

That sounded to Sawyer like a waste of time. He was not a man who liked being placated. He preferred to just hear the truth. “Answer this.”

She folded her arms in front of her but didn’t back away. “Okay.”

“Are you planning to do
anything
with the property?” Now that he knew about her other job and life in the work world, he could see her keeping the property and living on it despite its size. She didn’t have a mortgage. Rob had seen to that. She’d have to make enough to pay bills and taxes, and he’d bet that wouldn’t be a problem.

“I don’t know.” She sounded beaten down and so sincere. “Just like I don’t know if I can make whatever deadline you have.”

This is not how he wanted this to spin out. Charity or guilt or whatever fueled this conversation this morning did not sit well with him. Neither did the idea of her seeing him as a charity case. “It’s not your job to make this right for me.”

The words echoed back to him. He heard Marcus’s voice from the other day. He’d said something similar about how the range didn’t have to support them all. Sawyer got that, but he also knew the range would keep them together. He was desperate to make that happen because they were his true family. The people he cared about and he wanted them close.

“But you do think Rob promised you the property.” She didn’t bother to ask.

He had. Sawyer didn’t hallucinate that part. He remembered every conversation and every promise. Rob died before he could implement anything or have a true contract drawn up for review.

Not that Sawyer could say any of that. Not again. He’d pled that part of the case. The there-was-an-unwritten-agreement angle. “There’s no way for me to answer that without us spinning into a new argument.”

“And if I don’t give it—”

Wrong word.
“I don’t expect you to give me anything. It’s about buying the land, or being a partner, whichever works for you.”

She leaned her head back against the doorframe. “What will you do if I do nothing or go with another proposal?”

“Survive.” That was the truth. He would move on. Throw in with someone. Get a small business loan. Do whatever it took.

“And us?”

God, how could she still not see it? He stood there, open and hollowed out. He didn’t hide from her or hold back. Yet she still thought he would take his toys and run the minute things got sticky. Never mind that things had been sticky with them from the beginning.

Maybe if they got this one thing out of the way she would understand. “I’ll send the proposal over tomorrow. You can read it.”

The lit dimmed a bit in her eyes. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“I am right now.” He took a step, because that’s all he needed, and pulled her into his arms. He had his hands on her back and his mouth hovering right over hers.

“Sawyer, don’t you think—”

He kissed her then, long and deep. A kiss filled with a promise for more if she would just trust him to give it to her.

When he lifted his head again, her lips had gone a rosy pink and her eyes sparkled. About time. “I think whatever you’re going to say will sound better when you’re naked and I’m inside you.”

She didn’t answer right away. Didn’t move. Then her fingers tightened against his forearms. “Only if you’re on your knees during this talk.”

No question about it. She was perfect for him.

“I can be whatever and wherever you want.” And he meant it.

An hour later his eyes closed and he started to drift off when he felt her stir in the bed beside him. Her foot inched up his calf and the hand on his stomach dipped lower.

“You’re awake.” He pointed out the obvious but the night of missed sleep and the way his body went limp after his last release, had him feeling too relaxed to be more clever.

She chuckled against his side. “Barely.”

The cool room chilled her skin. He felt around and found the blanket wadded behind her back in a ball. Smoothing it the best he could, he laid it over her shoulders, letting the edge dip across his chest.

“I can’t believe I just covered you when I enjoy seeing you uncovered so much.” He spent most of his day dreaming about taking her clothes off. Clearly he needed rest and a common sense reload.

“I’m happy you did.” She snuggled in closer to his side. “The front of my body is all warm from being pressed up against you, but my back is cold.”

She wiggled her hips. As if he needed a highlight of that part of her anatomy. “There’s a simple solution for that.”

“Oh, really?”

“It involves putting you on your knees and elbows and entering from behind.” They’d used that position once with great success. He remembered a lot of moaning and this sexy thing where she chanted his name.

“Very intriguing.” But her voice trailed off at the end.

He guessed the night had caught up with her. That was fine with him. He’d settle for holding her, feeling her breathing as he listened to the grunts and noises she made as she slept.

This, the quiet time, ranked as the best part of being with her. The sex, yes, but the intimacy hit him harder. That part he normally ignored but with her, he craved it. He’d trade almost anything to skip the fighting and move to this.

As he rubbed his hand up and down her arm his mind went back over their conversation. Over what he’d learned. They still had so much to talk about and work through, but he couldn’t figure out how to do that without messing up this.

“Stop thinking.” She mumbled the order against his chest.

He lifted his head and looked down at her. “What?”

“I can hear you thinking.”

More than likely he shifted around as the options ran through his mind. “I kind of doubt that.”

“You need an incentive.”

“For what?” Then he felt her hand circle him. His body immediately responded. Another second or two and he’d have an erection and be ready to go again. “Oh, now I get it.”

She lifted her upper body but her hand kept pumping up and down. Gliding over him until every nerve ending snapped to life.

“That feels so good.” God, the way she touched him set his blood on fire.

“Then imagine how good it will feel when I use my mouth.” She pushed the covers down until they rested right above his hipbone. “You’re not cold, are you?”

The boiling sensation had him sweating. “I’m going to flip you over in one minute.”

She kissed her way down his chest to his stomach. Her hair brushed over his bare skin as her thumb skimmed over his tip. When she went lower, peeling away the last of the sheet and settling between his open thighs, he gave up on thinking about anything except what that mouth could do.

“Hailey...”

She licked her tongue down his length. “You promised to flip me over.”

And he followed through on his promises. “I’m also going to make you moan.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Hailey stood in the hall and watched him. Sawyer stood at her desk wearing nothing but his briefs and frowned over the stacks she’d piled there. Every now and then he’d shift a piece of paper to the side and look at a new document. He didn’t really study anything.

“Overwhelming, isn’t it?” she asked into the quiet room.

His head shot up. “You’re up.”

“Yes.” The minute he left the bed. The mattress dipped and her hand hit warm sheets instead of his chest and she woke up. That’s the way it seemed to work now. She sensed him and when he moved away she missed him.

He looked around as if he’d just realized he’d been caught in the room. “I know what this looks like, but I wasn’t cheating or trying to get an advantage.”

“I didn’t say you were.” She didn’t see this as some sort of covert action. She knew the idea of all that paperwork drew him out of her arms and down the hall. He was human. How could he not want to look.

“There is just so much.” He wiped a hand over his head. “So many for you to review and choose from.”

“They started arriving right after Rob died. Most were still addressed to him and his office sent them over.” She’d barely been functional back then. She’d opened the boxes, expecting the contents of Rob’s desk or mementos or something. Not reams of paper. “Then they started coming for me.”

“Have you read them all?” Sawyer opened a binder and let the pages slide back down.

Not every page. Certainly not every line. “Most are real estate development deals.”

She rubbed her hands over her arms. The oversized V-neck sweater dipped low in the front and hung past her upper thighs. It covered her but the hardwood floor chilled her bare feet.

“That sounds like huge money.”

For most people that might be the major concern. Not her. She wasn’t looking for anyone to hand her anything. “In case you haven’t noticed money is not my main motivation.”

“I get that but I can’t offer you anything like this.” He exhaled and his shoulders fell. “Not even close.”

“What can you offer?” They talked about money and she tried to keep the question aimed in that direction, but truth was she wanted to know where they stood.

So much was up in the air and confused. She doubted he’d stick around for much longer if he had to go searching for another property. Hell, he might pick a different state. That seemed unlikely since so many of the people he cared about lived here, but who knew.

“We’re still talking business, right?” he asked.

They might be fighting their way through a mess but their minds still went to the same place. It was tempting to say no, but she stayed on task. “Yes, but we’ll eventually double back to that line of thought.”

“I won’t build a shopping mall or condo complex next to your house. I won’t badger you or invade your privacy.”

He was smart. He’d managed to hit on all the parts of the big-money plans that she hated. “All good things.”

“I’ll take a portion of the land and pay you for it, some now but most over time.” He rested his hands on the back of her desk chair. “We can work out a plan or a partnership agreement of some sort.”

He’d thought it through. He wasn’t spreading out lies and false promises. He had a down-to-earth plan. Straightforward and simple. So much of it depended on his hard work and ability to make the business work. She didn’t doubt either.

But the idea would further draw their lives together. Complicate things. “You’d work for me?”

He made a sound that came close to a laugh. “Nice try. You’d be a silent partner.”

“I’m trying to imagine that.” It was her turn to be amused. “Being quiet is not really my strength.”

“It’s tough for you, I know.”

“For the record, you’re not selling this argument.” She joked because they both needed a minute where the stress wasn’t tightening and pulling and shutting out the air around them to near suffocation.

“My point is, most of the land would stay with you.” He glanced out the small window before looking back at her again. “We picked out a spot away from the house to limit the noise and possibility of a stray shot.”

She hadn’t even thought about that. She’d been so busy worrying about construction work under some of the other plans that noise hadn’t registered. “Limit?”

“Eliminate.” He stared her down as he said the word, as if the force of his will could make her believe it. “All of the liability and work would fall to me. I’d work within whatever parameters you set.”

“I’d sit back and collect money.” And she didn’t doubt that he would work every hour of every single day to make sure that happened. He wouldn’t depend on her. She’d have to throw some elbows to be involved and even then would have to tiptoe through their management setup and around his ego.

All of that worked for her. The business would be his. She would make it possible, but Greenway would be his.

She just wished she could go the extra step, right now, and say yes. Something held her back. A churning deep inside that kept those doubts flowing. Not about him but about what she wanted to do. She’d been handed this huge gift and didn’t know how to handle it. It was like letting go meant letting go of Rob, and she just wasn’t ready to step away from his memory. Not yet.

“But I need to be honest here.” Sawyer picked up the nearest proposal. “I can’t promise you this type of money. I can’t make you financially secure to the point where you can run off and buy a Hawaiian island.”

She loved the honesty. Cheered inside at his refusal to hide behind fancy words and empty promises. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good.”

Oh, that smile. It knocked her back and got her light-headed every time. “Are we still talking about business?”

He pivoted around the desk and headed for her. “No.”

“What are we talking about?” Her body almost tingled in anticipation. She hoped, like usual, they were on the same page.

“A shower.” His hands found her waist and he tugged her in close.

The friction of his body rubbing against hers had her forgetting about paperwork and money and everything except getting those briefs off him. “Together?”

“Of course.” He fingers moved and he looked down the deep vee of her shirt to where one of her breasts nearly popped out. “What do you have on under this sweater?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

“My favorite.” He used his nose and chin to shift the thin material to the side. Then he licked over her, his mouth traveling across her as he kissed her skin.

Her hands went to the back of his head. “Am I going to get clean during this shower?”

“First you’re going to get really dirty.” He pulled her sweater up inch by inch. “Up against the wall, legs off the ground, wearing me kind of dirty.”

She wanted that now. Right now. “You have ten minutes to show me.”

“We should get you ready first.” His fingers skimmed her thigh. Up higher and higher.

Her breath hitched as the gentle touch had her nerve endings firing. Need spun inside her. Every part of her clenched in anticipation as she waited for those fingertips to drag across her, inside her.

Then he was on his knees, pushing up the sweater and nudging her legs apart. She reached for the wall, something to steady her body, but she was too far away to balance there for leverage. She settled for a hand against the doorjamb and another on his shoulder.

His heated breath blew over her and a shiver ran through her. His fingers dipped inside her as his mouth went to work. Long strokes, circles. Her knees shook until they buckled. But he caught her. Gripped her around the back of the thighs and held her still. Opened her further and used his tongue in a way that had her hips shifting forward for more.

Despite the touching and sensual foreplay, he held back from taking her over the edge. He’d go so far then pull away. Let her inner muscles tremble before he started again. He had her mind spinning and body aching for more.

Her fingers tightened on his shoulder. “Sawyer. Do it now.”

He pushed a second finger inside her. Long and deep, pumping as his tongue circled her. She was about to demand, beg—anything to find her release—when he did this thing with his fingers. Pushed them apart and a choppy breath rushed out of her.

With a hard thud her body let go. Every muscle loosened as the air moved through her. She lost her balance but he caught her. Supported her weight as the trembling shook her before dragging her to the floor. The room spun as he shifted them and put her underneath him.

Then he smiled down at her. “We’ll use the shower next.”

Hours later Sawyer rambled around his house. For once, no one else hovered around or worked on his couch. The quiet should have been soothing but it gave him too much time to think. Thinking led to the conclusion that a solution remained outside of his grasp.

“Hey.” Marcus came through the front door without so much as a knock as he’d been doing forever. He had a file in his hand and threw it on the couch before heading into the kitchen and joining Sawyer. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks, man.” He leaned against his refrigerator, letting the coolness of the stainless steel seep into him.

As he watched, Marcus took a seat at the counter and shoved the plate with Sawyer’s uneaten sandwich to the side. “Did you and Hailey go at it again last night?”

There was no real way to answer that without feeling like a boasting eighteen-year-old boy. “Uh.”

Marcus shook his head as he let out a long exhale. “I meant fight, dumbass.”

“Oh, sort of. Not really.” They talked, round and round, without settling anything. They discussed then had sex. That seemed to be their new pattern.

“I’m going to guess that means you were too busy having sex to talk about the property.” Marcus folded his arms on the counter. “Part of me wants to high-five you and the other wants to punch you.”

Which showed how much Sawyer sucked at separating the two. He leaned his head back against the refrigerator. Banged it a few times. “Fuck me.”

“Exactly.”

“It was great. Really great.” That didn’t even come close to describing the personal part. The sex, holding her.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Me.” The growing sense that what he felt for her couldn’t survive their business issues. They’d tried to separate one from the other. Then he opened up about the land and so did she. All the talking spun them around in circles.

Marcus laughed. “Be more specific.”

Sawyer wanted normal, for his life. And now he also wanted a relationship with her. Beyond sex. Separate from the background noise of the party. Even when things were good, the bad loomed. He’d lived his entire adult life walking a line and he wanted it to end. He didn’t know how that could happen with what he still needed to do.

“I have to send a proposal to her.” And he feared that once he did and she said no, which she would, they would be over. Maybe they’d drift for a while, but it would end.

“We seem to be having two different conversations.”

Sawyer didn’t blame the guy for being confused. Hell, Sawyer could barely keep up. “She has this room. There are stacks of proposals from developers and businesses for plans for the land.”

Marcus frowned as he thumped his thumbs against the counter. “We can’t compete with that.”

“I know.” He hadn’t been able to clear his head since finding out.

Marcus stopped hammering out the beat. “So, why are we sending a proposal?”

“I said I would.” When the staring didn’t stop, Sawyer jumped to the end, skipping over the part where he wished he’d never heard of the property...except for the part where it led him to her. “We have the business plan. I’ll use that.”

Marcus made a face. “Still, why bother?”

Time to drill down to the real issue. She seemed lost in this confusing place where she wanted him one minute and looked at him with a wary eye the next. He sensed she wanted to believe in him but the sheriff’s letter threw her off and had her doubting. Not that he blamed her. Well, he kind of did. He thought he’d earned more respect than that, but navigating this kind of stuff was never easy.

With them it had been nothing but bumpy, no matter how he tried to smooth it out by not talking about the property nonstop. In hindsight, that had been a mistake. It drawled out the inevitable.

But he’d still messed up on the personal front. Big-time. “You warned me.”

“About Hailey? Sure, I’m a smart guy.”

“Who can’t figure out his own love life.” Sawyer planned on skipping this part. Letting Marcus tell him in his own time. But now felt right. “Speaking of that, how’s Will?”

Marcus froze. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Sawyer saw it now. The expert SEAL schooled his features but there was a second before that. A brief blip where emotion hit his face and the mix of frustration and confusion couldn’t be missed. “You and Will. Together. Dating...or is that too big a word for what’s happening?”

Marcus pushed back on the stool and sat up straight. “You figured it out.”

“Hailey did.”

His eyes widened. “What?”

“Knew from the first time she saw you two together. Apparently you’re not as unreadable as you think you are.” Sawyer couldn’t help but rub it in a little.

“That’s a little scary.” But Marcus’s voice filled with what could only be described as awe.

“It’s a new world.” This is where the conversation got harder. Sawyer talked like he knew from personal experience but he didn’t. He just wanted his friend to be happy. “Will could come out and—”

Marcus was already shaking his head. “He won’t and I don’t blame him. How could I? I didn’t come out while I was still in.”

“It’s not easy no matter what the law now says.” Sawyer understood. Attitudes had changed but not all.

“How did we get on my personal life?”

Sawyer shrugged. “I’ve got skills.”

“Really? Then go use them on Hailey.”

In theory that might work but Sawyer had seen the competition. He didn’t want to let Marcus down, let any of them down, but this amounted to the ultimate uphill battle. “I can’t see her going for the range. She stands to make a lot of money with the other offers.”

“I meant go get
her
.” Marcus shot Sawyer a wake-up look. “You’re falling for her...or should I say fell?”

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