Chance of a Lifetime (Anderson Brothers) (15 page)

“You okay?” Michael whispered to his new wife.

“Yeah. More of the same.”

“Now’s as good a time as any.”

“Do it,” she said.

A high, staccato rapping of metal on glass silenced the table. “I have an announcement to make,” Michael said.

“You’ve decided to stop being a controlling ass?” Laughter followed Will’s joke.

“No,” Mia said. “That will never change.” More laughter.

“Mia and I…” He seemed to honestly be choked up. Gen turned her head to hear the rest of the table, which had fallen silent. Nothing moved except the sea breeze ruffling the curtains on the tent.

“Michael knocked me up!” Mia said.

Claire squealed and Mia laughed.

“Holy, shit, Mikey!” Will said. “You’re shooting live bullets. Who’d have thought it?”

The table erupted in excited conversation and slaps on the back.

Chance’s warm hand covered hers under the table and he squeezed her fingers.

In the midst of the celebration, a familiar buzz met her ears.

No. Surely it was just a passing boat. Walter had threatened to come get her, but he wouldn’t do something that obnoxious, would he? It would take a total asshole to interrupt a wedding.

The boat motor got louder, and she stiffened. Walter was an asshole. Everything in her knew it wasn’t a passing boat. It was her brother coming to take her away.

“Hey. You okay?” Chance ran his hand over her knee under the table.

No. She was not okay. She may never be okay again. “Yeah, I just…” She turned her head to listen, and his hand tightened. He wasn’t breathing. It was Walter.

“Visitor, Chance,” Will said. “Would you mind meeting him at the dock rather than letting him embarrass himself up here?”

“Not at all.”

“Oh, God. I’m so sorry about this, Will. I…”

And then she noticed the table had fallen silent. Walter had ruined everything. The wedding, the news of Michael and Mia’s baby… Now everyone would see her as the helpless, disabled child her brother saw. “I’m sorry.”

Gen got to her feet, wishing she had her cane. Not because she needed it with Chance to assist her, but it made her more secure. As a little girl, when Walter would chew her out, she’d imagine herself smacking him over the head with it. Maybe it was a good thing she didn’t have it after all. She might skewer him with it and screw up the wedding even more than she had already.

“Well, I guess it’s showtime,” Chance said, slipping his hand into hers. “Ready?”

“Yes.”
No
. She’d never be ready. Her brother was coming to take her away.

Again.

The panic of the night in the harbor didn’t hold a candle to this. Her freedom was being ripped out from under her again. And short of causing a huge scene, which she refused to do, there was no stopping it. This was supposed to be the happiest day of his brothers’ lives, and she was turning it into a fiasco.

Instead of the sunshine blanketing her in comfort and hope like it had earlier, it felt like a hot spotlight shining on all her flaws as she stepped from under the tent’s shade.

“It’ll work out,” Chance said. “We’ll get through this.”

Chance was her knight in shining armor, ready to do battle against the dragon and free her from her prison. If only it were that simple.

Chapter Twenty-One

C
hance squinted in the sunlight as they neared the pier. A boat made its way toward them, bow lifted as it skimmed over the water.

He thought of how brave Gen had been when driving the boat. Would she be that brave again today, flying into the unknown based on trust alone? A glance at her troubled expression had him betting against it.

He’d thought she was ready, but perhaps she still needed more time. His heart ached at the prospect that she’d let her brother keep the upper hand—that she’d choose to go back to her sheltered life, rather than take a stand for herself. For
them.

Everything in him wanted to confront her brother and make this right for her, but if he stood up to Walter, rather than allowing her to do it, he would simply be stepping into her brother’s shoes as a crutch. He knew now that he wasn’t dangerous for her, but he could be her conduit to freedom only if she threw open her own cage door.

“I’m sorry about this,” she said again. Like the times before, he simply squeezed her hand. This was not his decision to make. He did intend to make sure Walter was in control before he allowed him access to Gen, though.

He stopped halfway down the narrow pier and placed Gen’s hand on a piling. “I’ll talk to him, and then the rest is up to you.”

She released his hand, holding tight to the piling. “This is bad, isn’t it?”

“Only if we let it be.” His words were more confident than his tone.
Only if
you
let it be.

She turned her head with a jerk, and he knew she’d heard something other than the single motor on the small boat in the distance. And then he heard it, too. Walter was shouting his name like a curse.

As if she were trying to keep her heart from leaping out, she pressed her hand over her chest. “Oh God.”

He smoothed her hair over her shoulder. “You’ve got this.”

The boat was now close enough to make out Walter’s drawn face. Chance’s body readied instinctually, just as it had thousands of times over the last ten years before taking a strike. “Hell hath no fury like a brother scorned,” he said under his breath.

“That’s not the quote.” Her voice cracked, and his chest ached at her fear.

Be strong, Genny
, he willed her silently, gently kissing her
. And please understand what I’m doing and why.

Walter’s face was red, but Chance doubted it was from the sun. While Gen clutched the piling, he took several steps forward, fully aware of his brothers at the base of the pier. They had his back, as expected.

Just like before every match, his senses heightened—not to Gen’s level, of course, but the fight-or-flight instinct kicked in, readying him. Only this time, he wouldn’t give his body over to instinct. It was imperative he stay in control, because in the end, it wasn’t his battle to fight, but hers.

“You fucking bastard,” Walter shouted, throwing a rope over a piling at the end of the pier. “You promised to stay away from her after you almost killed her.” He stepped up onto the pier and charged. “You promised you’d never touch her, and you did.” He threw a punch, but Chance deflected it with his forearm, easily throwing Walter’s momentum to the side and almost landing him in the water. After catching his balance, Walter came with another punch, this time from the left hand, and Chance caught his fist. His onetime friend froze, evidently grasping that Chance had a firm advantage.

Gaze locked on his friend’s angry blue eyes, Chance released the fist, and Walter wisely took a step back.

“You fucking lying asshole,” Walter said, rubbing his fist.

Chance’s muscles relaxed slightly. “Yes.”

“You’re not good enough for her. You’re a loser. She’s…she’s…”

“Yes, she’s blind. I know.”

“Do you? Do you know exactly what that means?”

“I believe so.”

Walter pointed to where his sister hugged the piling. Her entire demeanor had changed back into that hurt little girl on the bleachers all those years ago, and Chance wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms.

“She’s not able to take care of herself,” Walter said. “How can you take care of her when you have so many issues of your own?”

“That’s an excellent question.”

“You smart-ass son of a bitch.” Walter raised his fists and took a step forward, but dropped his arms to his side when Chance did nothing but arch a questioning eyebrow and brace his feet wider.

A quick glance over his shoulder confirmed Gen was at the piling and his brothers stood at the ready back at the steps. He turned his attention fully on Walter again.

“This girl needs a full-time caretaker for the rest of her life. She can’t even handle funds because she can’t see the money. She has to be watched because she could get snatched up or lost at any time.” His gaze fell on his sister, and his expression soured as if he’d eaten a bug.

Chance said nothing, but from the corner of his eye, he saw the look of horror on Gen’s face. It was an expression similar to the one she wore a decade ago in the hospital. Like then, she said nothing. And for a fleeting moment, he thought he might vomit.

G
en dug her nails into the side of the piling, stunned.

Chance loved her. She knew he did, yet, like ten years ago, there he was, not standing up for her or defending her at all.

This couldn’t be happening.

She tried to think back on what he’d told her about that night. That he’d not defended himself or her because it would have made no difference.

But it would make a difference now. Instead of defeating the dragon, he was enabling it to take her away.

It wasn’t really his battle though, was it? It was up to her to face Walter. To finally stand up for herself. Still, his silence stung.

She thought about how Will had told her she could find her way on the beach with no assistance. How Claire had treated her like a normal person. How Chance had made her feel beautiful and alive.

“Come on, Gen,” Walter said. Heavy footsteps neared and the vibrations from them became more distinct the closer he came. “Let’s go home.”

But most of all, she realized how Walter made her feel. Small, helpless, disabled. She needed to break away from this.

Her brother’s familiar hand wrapped around hers as music started up from the tent on the beach.

She turned her face toward Chance, but picked up nothing.

Stumbling behind as her brother led her over the wooden planks, she stopped short, pulling him to a halt. Like before, she was devastated by Chance’s silence, but this time was different. This time, she wouldn’t let her brother destroy her. She wouldn’t put up the fight she wanted to and ruin the wedding, but she would not be dragged off like a naughty child, either.

“Let me go, Walter. You’ve barged into a wedding, did you know that? Will and Michael Anderson just got married and you screwed it all up.”

There was a silence that indicated he didn’t know the wedding was happening at that time. “No. You screwed it up by coming here with that loser,” he answered, taking her arm again.

She pulled away. “I’m coming with you, Walter, but not because you scare me or because I have even a tiny spark of respect for you. I’m coming because the Andersons don’t deserve to have their wedding day ruined, and you and I need to talk.”

Turning her head, she heard Chance’s breaths over the sea wind. “I…” She didn’t even have the ability to form words. Together, they could have convinced Walter to go away. Her heart felt like it was shattering. Once again, he’d remained silent during her brother’s rant. She knew he loved her. He’d said he wanted her forever.
I know myself well enough to know when to step back or step up,
he’d said only yesterday.

Her confusion must have shown on her face, because Chance moved closer and spoke in a low, even voice. Almost like it was an emotionless recording. “You don’t need a caretaker. No cane clearing your way. No brother propping you up. No lover distracting you. Freedom you earn is more powerful than freedom handed to you.”

And then he did the most confusing thing of all—he helped her into the boat with her brother.

The motor revved to life, and barely over the rumble, she heard Chance’s voice.

“I’m sorry, Genny.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

C
hance didn’t move until he could no longer see the boat on the horizon, then he sat at the end of the pier, legs dangling into the water, like he’d done as a boy. If only things could be simple like they were back then. Like they’d been last night. Just him and Gen with nothing else in the way.

Will joined him on the end of the pier, feet hitting the water with a splash. “You let her go.”

A waterbird landed on the surface a few yards out, then took off with something in its beak, water spraying from its wings. “I had no choice.”

“Like hell you didn’t. You’ve seriously got the most fucked-up logic, little brother.”

Maybe he did. “When you love someone, you have to let her go.”

“When you love someone, you fight for her.”

“Now you’re the one with the fucked-up logic, big brother. You can only fight for someone who is willing to fight for herself.”

Will studied his toes beneath the surface of the clear water and scrubbed a hand over his closely cropped head. “It scares me that that makes sense.”

Far overhead, a gull rode the air currents, wings motionless. “It would have been so much easier to lay Walter out,” Chance said.

“You would never have done that.”

“I wouldn’t have. You’re right. But I wanted to.”

His brother grinned. “It would have been fun to watch.”

“It would have been fun to do.” His brother laughed, and Chance took a deep breath of clean sea air through his nose. “I wanted to tell him off. Really let him know how wrong he was about her, but that’s not my battle to fight. It would only have been a short-term solution to a long-term problem. She would have been substituting one crutch for another. Me for him. She needs to stand on her own first. Besides, it would mean nothing to Walter coming from me.”

“But it would mean something to her. Have you ever considered that she needs to hear it? To know you’ve got her back?”

He stared at his brother, not really even seeing his face. “If she doesn’t know that, she never will. She made her choice.” And deep inside, in that place only she could reach, the pain was almost unbearable.

They sat in silence, side by side, while the waves lapped the pilings. “So, what are you going to do now?” Will asked.

He rose to his feet. “Celebrate my new sisters-in-law and tease the shit out of Michael about being a dad.”

“We’d all understand if you wanted to go after Gen, Chance. Don’t stick around here because of us.”

“If I thought going after her would benefit the end game, I’d swim all the way there right now with an arm tied behind my back. But going after her won’t solve the real problem. Only she can.”

“Does she know that? Because she looked like you’d dumped her when she left.”

“God, I hope she does.” If not, he’d just made the biggest fuckup in the history of fuckups.

S
herry grabbed another handful of popcorn and muted the end credit music—if it could be called music. It was like a 1970s synthesized calliope. “Pass the bag of chips. It’s right in front of you on the coffee table.”

Gen sighed and passed the chips. It had been two days since her silent trip back with Walter, and she hadn’t spoken to anyone except Sherry since her return.

“Okay. Time for a chat. If watching smut doesn’t cheer you up, you’re in deep need of girl talk.” The chip bag crinkled as she grabbed a handful. “I saw your brother drop you off Saturday. Did you tell him to fuck himself, finally? You’ve wanted to since I met you.”

“He wouldn’t talk to me in the boat on the way back, and he bought plane tickets on opposite ends of the cabin, probably to avoid me. When I tried to talk to him in the car, he told me he’d wasted enough time coming to fetch me and then put his headphones in and made business calls.”

“Sounds like you’re making excuses to avoid conflict as usual.”

“I don’t avoid…” Okay, maybe she did. Old habits were hard to break. And then she thought of Chance and what he’d been through. His habits had been a hell of a lot harder to break than her codependence on her big brother.

It was Monday. He must have gotten back last night.
I’m sorry, Genny
, he’d said…right before he helped her into the boat.

Reaching over, she found the bag of chips in her friend’s lap and grabbed a few. Did he ache like she did? He was probably at his gym, or whatever it was called, working those delicious hard muscles and making shouting sounds. She shoved some chips in her mouth and shifted on the sofa.

“I’d really love some more details about the island trip.”

“We’ve been through this. We met, we played, we kissed, we banged, we came, I left.”

“Oooh. Not only funny, but worthy of a line in that movie we just finished. Cut the act. You and I both know there’s a lot more going on here than a bang.”

“You’re right. Four bangs… Maybe five. It was a busy night. I lost count.”

“You’re hilarious.” The dry tone in her voice let Gen know she’d gone too far.

“So I’m told.”

The chip bag crinkled as Sherry grabbed a handful. “What are you going to do?”

Gen shifted in the sofa to face her friend. “I don’t know.”

“Have you thought about calling him?”

“I want to.”

“But?”

“But, dammit, he did the exact same thing again. He let Walter call me helpless and he didn’t defend me. And then, Walter called him a loser and said he wasn’t good enough for me, and he just
took
it.”

Sherry was quiet a long time. Not even chips or popcorn crunching, which had been constant since the movie began. “Did you defend
him
?”

“No. He can defend himself.”

“So, let’s see if I got this straight. People who can see must defend those who can’t, because blind people are unable to speak for themselves or others.” The crunching resumed.

“What? Wait. No! That’s ridiculous.”

“Then why didn’t you speak up? You’re no different than he is. You’re not that little girl your big brother has to look out for and control.” The chip bag rustled. “Or are you?”

“Of course I’m not.”

“Then stop acting like it.”

G
en traced the entry keypad with her fingers and took a deep breath. She could navigate Grand Central in rush hour by herself. Comparatively, this meeting should be a piece of cake. But it wasn’t. This was a lifetime of baggage to unpack.

Biting her lip, she entered the apartment number.

“Yes?”

Just the sound of his voice made her heart rate increase. “It’s me, Walter. Buzz me in.”

“Gen?”

“Yeah. Let me in.”

The door lock clicked and she pushed it open. She’d never been to Walter’s apartment before, but she knew he lived on the fifth floor. No doorman or desk, but her phone app identified the elevator easily when she double-tapped her screen. Before she could find the elevator call button, the door slid open with a ding. Old Spice deodorant wafted out.

“Hey, Walter.”

“What are you doing wandering the streets this time of night? Holy shit, Gen. How—”

“Great to see you, as well, thanks. I’m glad I stopped by, too.” She could feel him right in front of her, blocking the elevator, so she nudged past and felt for the buttons, relieved she hit the correct side with the panel on the first try, then elated when there were braille labels. She found and depressed the fifth-floor button before the door even closed.

His breathing was irregular, but she wasn’t sure if he was mad or still surprised at her unannounced visit—her first, and possibly last visit to his apartment, depending on how this went. And it struck her, as they rose in silence, they were almost strangers. Not only had Chance withdrawn that horrible night ten years ago, so had her brother, reducing their roles to that of caretaker and cared-for.

The door slid open and she stepped out, waiting for him to lead the way.

“My place isn’t handicapped accessible,” he said, taking her elbow.

Of course that would be his first consideration. “Neither are you.”

He stopped and opened a door. “What does that mean?”

She located the threshold with her cane and entered the apartment before he invited her in. “Exactly what you think it means. In your eyes, I’m handicapped. You’re not accessible, hence, my surprise attack.”

She tapped her phone screen and waited until the app identified a sofa. Using her cane, she made her way around a coffee table and sat while he remained by the door. Ordinarily, she would let the other person help her out because the app took longer, but she was making a point. She didn’t need him or anyone.

The door closed with a
click
.

“Please sit down, Walter. This might take a while.”

“I have work in the morning.”

“So do I. And my job is no less important to me than yours is to you, but this is even more important.”

There was a creak as he sat somewhere across the coffee table from her, and she swallowed the lump in her throat. All her life, she’d let her parents and brother take the lead and direct everything from conversations to schedules because it was easier—safer. Her time with Chance and his family had shown her the easy way wasn’t always the best. And this long-overdue conversation certainly wasn’t going to be easy.

She took a deep breath and began the way she’d practiced with Sherry. “Now, I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen, for once.”

“How did you get here?”

“That’s not listening. How do you think I got here? How do
you
get here?”

“I take the subway.”

“That’s how I got here.”

“You got on a subway at night?”

“Four stops between us on a safe part of the line. Yes. But only because you ignored me the entire trip back from the island.”

“I did not ignore you.”

“I’m blind, not stupid. Give it a rest there, bro.”

He was quiet for a while, which wasn’t like him. She’d never talked to him this way before. Maybe her guns-blazing approach was effective, like Sherry said it would be.

“So, here’s the deal, Walter. You’re going to butt out of my life and start acting like a brother, not a jailer.”

“All I’ve ever wanted is what’s best for you.”

“Great. We have the same goal then.”

“Gen, listen—”

“No,
you
listen. I know you love me, Walter, and you’re trying to do the right thing, but you’re doing it all wrong. So are Mom and Dad.” She placed her hands on her knees to keep from fidgeting. He needed to see her as she really was, not as he perceived her. It was essential she come across as mature and in control. “I’m not a little girl, and I’m not helpless. I can do lots of things you don’t give me credit for. Take money, for instance. I use a debit card most of the time, but I can use cash because of the Tap Tap See app you saw me use when I came in. It identifies bills and coins easily. I have voice-over on every device I own, and I bet I can text and use a map app faster than you.”

He said nothing, to her surprise.

“It’s not like I’m a person who has relied on sight her whole life, suddenly blinded and having to navigate in a whole new way. I’ve always been like this. In fact, until I was four or so, I thought everyone was like me. It’s all I’ve known.”

He gave a sigh like he was enduring a child’s tantrum. “I know that.”

Angry prickles crept up her neck. “So you know what it’s like, then? How frustrating it is when people yell at me because they think I’m deaf or talk to me like I’m two years old?”

Again, he used an indulgent tone. “I’m sure it’s frustrating.”

“It is. But you know what the most frustrating thing is? It’s my own family treating me with more ignorance than complete strangers.”

There was a rustle of fabric, like he’d crossed his legs or shifted in his chair. Good, she’d made him uncomfortable.

“I’m a full-grown woman with a career and goals, not an invalid.”

“I know you’re not an invalid. I allowed you to move out and get a job.”

“You allowed me?
Allowed?
” Her anger and indignation flared, twisting her stomach in knots. “See, that’s the problem. It’s the allowing.” She ran her hands through her hair. “I’ve allowed
you
to control my life, but I’m stopping that tonight.”

Her proclamation was met with a long-suffering sigh that made her blood boil. “Gen. Mom, Dad, and I—”

“Stop! Just stop.” She slapped her palm on the coffee table and something on top of the glass top rattled. “I’ll no longer bow down to the holy trinity of sightedness. You guys have erected this wall between me and real life, and while I appreciate the fact that you think it’s for my own good, it’s not. You don’t know me well enough to make decisions for me like this.”

“That’s nonsense. We know you better than anyone.” His tone didn’t have its flippant dismissiveness from before.

“What do I do for a living?” She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You work at a sound studio.”

Now it was her turn to reply with a long-suffering sigh. “Doing what?”

“Something with recordings.”

“I’m the head mixer for Decibels, one of the top studios on the East Coast. I specialize in orchestral balance. Like huge, symphonic recordings. I make sure all instruments are balanced and the piece is true to the conductor’s vision. I’ve worked on operas, symphonies, Broadway cast recordings, and even rap. People request me by name because I’m good at what I do. Really good. Not in spite of the fact I’m blind, but
because
of it. Granted, it’s not a big-bucks job yet, but in a few years, it will be. I plan to open my own sound studio someday.”

He cleared his throat, but said nothing.

“What’s my favorite food? My favorite band?”

There was silence from the other side of the table.

Leaning forward, she placed her palms flat on the cool glass of the coffee table. “You don’t know, but you know who does? Chance knows. Because he sees me as a person, not a liability. I’m going to help you out here. I’m releasing you from your liability. I want complete control of my life, even if it means walking away from everything and starting over.”