Change (Kitsune) (30 page)

"Do you want to shift back now or do you want to wait a while?"

*I'll wait if you don't mind.* I laughed.

"I don't mind, investigate some if you want." I looked up when he left, moving around the small machinery stored in the barn, investigating the different scents around us.

I stepped closer to Alexis, "What did you do?" I asked softly.

"While you were trying to shift him, I saw that he was being held back. I saw what was keeping him from shifting. I wasn't sure if it would work, but I thought it was something I might be able fix, so I tried. You'd stopped trying to shift him by then, so I told you to try again."

"I didn't hear you, I was concentrating so hard on what I was doing I didn't hear a sound."

"I thought that might have been the case, I get the same way while I'm healing. It's part of why Caden is with me; because I can be so engrossed in what I'm doing I'd never hear an attacker. When you didn't respond right away I asked Bill to tell you." We both looked over at Bill.

I saw him watching the two of us, the thoughts running through his mind hidden behind a carefully blank face. I suspected that he was thinking that if we could do this for Devon, was it possible we could do it for others?

I talked to Bill for a few minutes, but not about anything important, we were all in a state of surprise and shock that it had worked so we decided to meet another day to discuss what had happened.

"Can you get him shifted back, or do you want me to stay and help?" Alexis asked as Bill and Gabriel headed to their vehicle to go.

"I'm good. If he can't shift back on his own I can shift him, no problem." I said confidently.

"You're sure? It's no problem for us to stay and help."

"I don't think he's going to need any help.” I glanced over at Devon where he was still checking out the corners of the barn, “I plan on feeding him, and then seeing if he can shift on his own. He knows what to do, he should be fine."

"If you're sure…" She gave me a quick hug and headed for the door, Caden following close behind her, "If you need help, don't hesitate to call." She called over her shoulder.

"Will do." I turned back to Devon. I spotted him near an old tractor parked near the large rear door of the barn. "You ready for something to eat?" He picked up his head and looked at me with interest. "Come on." I headed out the door.

Devon and I walked together out to the car where I pulled a raw steak out of the ice chest I'd packed, just in case and handed it to him. When he'd finished eating, I encouraged him to shift again. He walked beside me his fur brushing against my leg as we went back to the barn, he went back into the feed room while I waited near the door. A couple of minutes later he walked out, human and dressed in the jeans and boots he'd taken off earlier. He'd pulled the same shirt on too, but hadn't bothered to button it, and the tails flapped on either side of his hips as the shirt hung open.

He had a huge grin on his face as he approached me. He spread his arms wide and I stepped into them, accepting the hug he was offering.

"Thank you, so much." He pulled me tight against him, my arms wrapping around his waist as I hugged him back. The joy at being able to give him something he thought he'd never have rushed through me. I never saw it coming, one moment he was hugging me, all but dancing with his excitement, and the next I had his lips pressed against mine. His mouth moving over mine as he gently coaxed my mouth open. He kissed me as though he'd been waiting a lifetime for the chance. I couldn't stop myself; I kissed him returning his intensity with my own.

Devon broke the kiss after a moment, released me and went out to the car without another word. Not sure what was going on, I followed him and we went home. I couldn’t help being confused by the kiss and Devon’s reaction to it.

Monday evening I met with Bill and Alexis to discuss what had happened when I shifted Devon. We sat in the black leather furniture in Bill's office as we talked. I kicked my sandals off, and pulled my bare feet into the seat with me before we started.

"I want to go over what each of you did separately, and then put it together," Bill explained, "I think doing it this way will help us to get as many details as possible from both of you."

I nodded my understanding as Alexis spoke.

"Which of us do you want to start things off?"

"Let's start with Nickie. She was more deeply involved in what was going on."

I repeated everything had happened while I concentrated on shifting Devon, "I had his wolf moving, he was voluntarily moving to the surface, until suddenly, he stopped. I tried to pull him to the surface, but couldn't get him to move any more. It was like he'd hit a stone wall and couldn't move any closer. I started calming him, soothing him so I could try again. I was almost ready to try again when I heard Bill tell me to try again. When I tried the second time the barrier was gone, as if it had never been there.

"After you all left I gave him some meat I'd brought for him and he shifted back with no difficulties. He did it on his own; I didn't have to help him at all." I finished, not telling them about the kiss that had followed.

"I watched from inside while you tried to shift him," Alexis began, addressing me instead of Bill, "It wasn't until you hit that 'wall' that I noticed it. A small difference that was keeping him from shifting. I used my healing energy to make a small adjustment and asked you to try again. When you didn't respond I had Bill ask. When you tried again, he shifted normally." I looked at her for a moment, looking for the right words.

"So what you're saying is there was a physical problem keeping him from shifting?"

"Not physical really, more of a genetic defect, though I don’t think that's the right term either."

"And you were able to repair that ‘defect’?" Bill asked, "I wasn't aware that your talent allowed you to make changes on a genetic level."

"It doesn't, so in actuality it probably isn't actually a defect in the genes, but that's the best way I can think of to describe it."

"I'm not sure I understand." I said, confused.

"Think of it like this. Genes are like a series of switches, blue eyes, curly hair, the switch is either on or off, if it's off you don't get it, if it's on you do. Following me?"

"Yeah, I understand how that works, and how you inherit your specific set of genes from your parents."

"Good. So, when you tried to shift Devon I noticed that his shifting gene wasn't on either on or off. It was like a blown breaker, stuck in the middle. I nudged the 'switch' with my energy and it popped over to where it should have been. When you tried again, he shifted like he should have all along."

"Interesting," Bill leaned back in his chair, his elbows resting on the chair arms he had his fingers laced together, index fingers forming a peak as he thought, "Do you think you could 'reset' other non-shifters?"

"It would depend on several things." Alexis spoke slowly at first, "The person, what exactly was keeping them from shifting; I can't assume it's the same issue with them all. Whether or not Nickie can sense an animal in them to even try to call. But I can say with almost certainty that neither of us would be able to do it alone."

"She's right. It never would have occurred to me to try if I hadn't sensed Devon's wolf, I wouldn’t have known where to start. I'd have to spend some time with anyone who wanted to consider it before I could say. And I'd have to have help, I'm not saying it has to be Alexis but it would have to be someone who can do what she did."

"I couldn't do it alone either, simply because I couldn't sense his wolf until after you shifted him. I can feel it now, but I couldn't until after that first shift, I never can."

I turned back to Bill, "I'd say it's possible, but not guaranteed.” I concluded, “I'd have to spend time with the person in question before I'd be willing to commit to trying. Each person is different; I can't say that I could do it for them all. I'm not that optimistic, or ambitious."

"If I were to pair the two of you as a team, would you be willing to try with others?"

"I would" Alexis answered immediately.

"I would, provisionally," I agreed more slowly.

"What do you mean provisionally?" Bill narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"I don't want to force it on anyone. I also think that anyone we make the offer to should be mature and it should be their own, un-pressured decision, like Devon.

"He’d learned to accept that he didn't shift, he was content with who he was. He wasn't a teenager wishing to fit in, not someone who's family, friends, significant other was telling them they would love them more, they would like them better if they were like them and could shift too."

"I see what you mean." Bill said thoughtfully.

"I also don't want to offer it to someone, and then, meet them and not be able to feel their animal form and not even be able to try. That would be cruel. If I am going to offer the possibility to them, I want to be somewhat sure I can do it before I give them the option. I feel it would be cruel to offer it to someone only to discover that I can't do it."

"I guess I can understand that, and respect it." Bill said, "How would I feel if I arranged for you to meet another non-shifter, let you spend a little time around them and see if you think you can call their animal form?"

"I’d be okay with it, as long as they didn't know why they were meeting me. I don't want to give them the hope of acquiring the ability to shift; at least not until after I see if I think I can do it."

"Understood." Bill agreed, "I don't have any more non-shifters in the pack that still live around here. We have a couple who are living elsewhere, married and left, off at school or found work elsewhere, like Devon did when he joined the military. Let me talk to a couple of families and see if they can arrange for a visit."

"All right."

"We can also invite Hank's sister for a visit.” Alexis suggested, “ She may not want to try, but it would give you another non-shifter to meet."

"That would be great." Bill said, and I nodded my agreement.

We finished our discussion and separated, each going our own way. I went home and went to bed, my mind still filled with thoughts of the kiss Devon and I had shared.

Chapter 28

By Wednesday I couldn't take it anymore. I realized that morning that I'd been avoiding Devon. I didn't know how to act since we'd kissed. I didn't want to ruin the friendship we'd built, but at the same time I wasn't sure I could ignore the attraction either. By the time I got off work I knew it had to end, now that I'd realized what I was doing, my pride wouldn't allow it to continue.

By the time I pulled into my parking space at home I’d worked out a plan. I went up to my apartment, intent on getting out of my suit. I changed into a pair of comfortable denim shorts and a soft, bright colored tank top. It wasn't an outfit designed for seduction, it was just comfortable, non-work clothes.

I headed back down to Devon's, intending to invite him up for dinner. But as I closed my door and turned to descend the stairs I saw him, he was half way up the same stairs, and climbing fast. I stood for a moment, taking in the sight of him. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a snug blue t-shirt that made me want to touch him, and in one hand he carried two pizza boxes.

"I was just coming to see you." I smiled down at him.

He looked up, smiling when he caught sight of me, "Imagine that." I stepped back so there was enough room on the landing for him as he reached the top step.

"I assume you're planning on sharing those with me?" I pressed my thumb to the panel beside the door to unlock the door so I could let us into the apartment I'd just left.

"That's my plan." He stepped inside behind me and pushed the door closed.

"How are you adjusting?" I lead the way to the kitchen, to get plates and drinks for us, "Have you told your family yet?"

"So far so good. The more sensitive hearing is still a bother more often than not, but nothing too bad. I'm getting used to the additional strength, and all the rest. And no, I haven't told my family yet. I'm still trying to decide the best way to go about it." He set the pizza boxes on the table, turned and watched me as I moved around the kitchen. "What've you been up to?"

"The usual, nothing out of the ordinary other than the meeting with Bill and Alexis a couple of days ago." I fixed a couple of glasses of iced tea, using a plastic cup for Devin’s, and put the plates I'd pulled out of the cabinet on the table. "Bill wants to see if we can shift other non-shifters too."

"Do you think you can?" He opened the top box, revealing a large mushroom and spinach pizza, my favorite.

"I'll have to meet them before I can tell. But I'm not sure if I can is the real question." I watched him put a couple of slices on one of the plates and set the plate aside, before closing the box and switching the two pizzas. "I'm afraid it may end up to be more a question of if I will. Bill seemed to agree to my conditions but I'm not sure that everyone will." Devon opened the second pizza box, revealing another large pizza, this one covered in different varieties of meat toppings. He served himself a couple of slices of this pizza then closed the box and set them both onto the counter out of our way. Watching him a slight smile spread across my face, "Are you a little hungry?"

"I've already learned that what I was eating just isn't enough, I figured you were the same way so I came prepared. Anything we don't eat tonight we can stick in the fridge and eat tomorrow." He shrugged, sitting down at the table and looking up at me, waiting for me to join him.

I sat down at the table, "Have any talents started to show up?" I took a bite of the pizza he'd served me while I waited for him to answer.

"Not really. I mean I've had a couple of instances where I knew that someone was lying to me, but nothing major. And that could've just been the enhanced senses." I nodded and we ate in silence for a bit. When Devon got up to get himself more pizza he spoke again, "Are you going to try to tell me I'm the only one who feels it?" He asked, his back still to me.

"The only one who feels what?"

"The draw between us. The one that means we're potentially mates," I was dumbfounded. I blinked at his back, unable to find the words to ask what he was talking about. "I might believe it was just me, except for the way you responded when I kissed you the other day."

"Mates? What do you mean potential mates?" Finally able to speak again.

It was Devon's turn to be shocked. He turned around and looked at me, the amazement plain on his face. "Are you telling me you've known you're Kindred for almost two months now and no one has explained mating to you?"

I shook my head, "I've never heard of it."

"It's one of the major benefits of being Kitsune. The mating instinct tells a shifter when someone is compatible with them. It tells you when you’ve met someone you could be happy with for the rest of your life."

"But you said that you would believe you were the only one? How can it let you know the one, but only be you?"

"That's the downside; not every possible mating goes both ways. The upside is that there is no 'one mate' over the course of a lifetime; unmated Kindred can encounter a dozen or more potential mates. Mating isn't forced, you can chose whether to seal a mating or not."

  "And you're telling me that I'm a potential mate for you, and you believe you're one for me?"

"Yes, exactly."

"How do you know? How can you tell if someone's a potential mate?"

"It's an instinct. It starts out as an attraction, but over time it gets stronger. The more physical contact you have the stronger the draw to the other person gets. If a person didn't know about it, or what to look for they could easily take it as nothing more than a strong attraction."

"Then how do you know?"

"I grew up knowing about it. I spent years expecting to encounter it someday.” He looked away,  “It was one of the hardest things for me to deal with when I learned I'd never shift."

"Because you'd not have a mate?"

"Not really, I could still have a mate, but it wouldn't be the same. You see, once a mating is sealed, a mated pair gains power, in some pairs they share strengths. It's a unique bond, and though there is a bond with humans, or non-shifting Kitsune, it's just not the same."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm not explaining this well."

"So, tell me this. How did you know, after you shifted, that I'm potentially your mate?"

"There's no round-about way for me to put this well, so I'll just come out and say it…" He looked across the room, not meeting my eyes as he confessed, "I've been attracted to you from the beginning."

"The beginning?" I didn’t know if he meant since we were kids or since he got back.

"That day in the courtyard, when I was moving in." He clarified, "But after you shifted me it was different, it was more, a lot more. That's when it dawned on me - it was the instinct calling me to you."

"I see."

"I didn't intend to kiss you, but after I shifted again, the urge to touch you overwhelmed me."

"I don't mind. I mean, it surprised me, but it felt right. I’ve found myself wanting to touch you anytime you’re near. I thought it was just the tactile closeness that I’ve noticed among the pack. But then, when I'm not near you I find myself missing you, more than normal I mean. "

"Those are common effects of the instinct, or at least from what I was told growing up I’d say they are."

"So, what now? You said there's always a choice, but I know nothing about it. What are our options?"

"We can continue as we have been, spending time together, and the effects will likely get stronger."

"Or?"

"Of we can separate. As in no contact, no being near each other in anyway. Eventually the effects will fade."

"Are those our only options?"

"Other than sealing the mating. Which I'm sure you're not ready for. Hell, I know I'm not. That's pretty much it."

"What's sealing the mating?"

"Making the mating permanent. It’s like marriage with no option for divorce."

"You're right, I'm not ready for that. But I can't imagine not seeing or spending time with each other. You've become a big part of my life in the few weeks you've been back."

"I don't care much for the idea of breaking the connection either. But if it's what you wanted, I'd do it."

"So we continue?"

"We continue." He smiled, "With a change if you don't mind."

"What do you have in mind?"

"This," Devon leaned over me, settling his mouth over mine, softly kissing my lips. He coaxed my mouth open to let him sweep his tongue inside, tasting me as he pulled me to stand and my body close to his. After several minutes he lifted his head enough to say, "Well?"

"I think we can come to an agreement." I whispered, pulling his head town until lips down to meet mine again.