Changes (8 page)

‘Oh really?' She hadn't thought of herself as either ‘a happily married woman' or that she belonged to a club of such characters. Now they were both laughing. ‘Actually, I don't know ... I thought …'

‘Don't think,' said Esi, rather sharply, ‘especially if your thoughts are in the region of me going back to Oko.' She took a big gulp of her beer rather sulkily.

Opokuya stayed quiet for a while before saying seriously that in fact that was what would normally be expected of her as a good friend. ‘In any case, what are you planning? A proper divorce soon? A remarriage?' She tried not to sound like a stern busybody. Esi was vehement: ‘Me? Never!'

‘Why ever not?'

‘I could not bear it,' exclaimed Esi, quite obviously having a problem keeping her voice down. ‘Another husband to sit on my back all twenty-four hours of the day? The same arguments about where a woman's place is? Another husband to whine all day about how I love my work more than him? Ugh, Opokuya, I couldn't. And thank you very much.'

‘So back to my question, and forgive me for harassing you, but Esi, what are you going to do now? After all, you are human. You must get lonely sometimes?'

‘You are not harassing me. Besides, who else do I have who would discuss things so openly and patiently with me? I'm definitely human and I most certainly feel lonely sometimes. Often. But what can I do about it?'

‘Really, why throw away a perfectly good husband for the loneliness of a single woman's life?'

‘Opokuya, please don't you also treat me like a child. Just a little while ago, when I said that I had always thought Kubi was a good husband, you nicely shut me up. It is beginning to look as if the nicest husband is always the one someone else is living with, no?' And each of them was shocked that the thought had finally become words.

‘Say that again, my sister,' agreed Opokuya. ‘But mind you,' she thought she should seize the calmness in the discussion at that point, and press home an idea, ‘unlike so many cities abroad, there isn't much here that a single woman can do to relieve the loneliness and boredom of the long hours between the end of the working day and
sleep.'

‘You mean when a single woman is actually living alone?'

‘Yes.'

‘You can say that again. It is even more frightening to think that our societies do not admit that single women exist. Yet …'

‘Yet what?'

‘Single women have always existed here too,' she said with some wonder.

‘Oh yes. And all over the continent

‘Women who never managed to marry early enough.'

‘Or at all. Widows, divorcees.'

‘I wonder what happened to such women.'

‘Like what?'

‘Think about it carefully.'

‘I am sure that as usual, they were branded witches.' Esi said, laughing.

‘Don't laugh Esi, it's serious. You may be right. Because it is easy to see that our societies have had no patience with the unmarried woman. People thought her single state was an insult to the glorious manhood of our men. So they put as much pressure as possible on her -'

‘- until she gave in and married or remarried, or went back to her former husband.'

‘And of course if nothing cured her they ostracised her and drove her crazy.'

‘And then soon enough, she died of shame, loneliness and heartbreak.'

At this point, both Esi and Opokuya burst out laughing again. Almost hysterically. As they calmed down Opokuya said, ‘Esi, it's not funny,' and Esi said, Opokuya, it's not funny.'

‘But Opokuya,' Esi resumed the discussion, ‘how come you know so much about these problems? After all you've been happily married all your adult life.'

‘Happily married, eh? I'll let that too pass. Have you forgotten that I have been a nurse and midwife over the period under discussion? Esi, in that profession, with that kind of specialisation, no one can prevent herself from learning about women and human beings generally. In fact, people oppress you with information. And what they don't tell you, you easily stumble on.'

‘Oh yes, I see what you mean … Opokuya, what can I do?'

‘Ah-h-h! Now listen to who is asking what!' Opokuya was enjoying her triumph.

‘Please be serious.'

‘I am always serious … What do you think you can do?' ‘There was a problem lying in the bush,

‘You went and dragged it into your house.'

Esi could hear her grandmother singing. Then, almost to herself, ‘I'm sure there'll be no solution for me. Unless I meet a man who is prepared to accept my lifestyle.'

‘Your lifestyle? Esi, if you continue in that way, you will get into trouble. Because, my dear, no man is totally going to accept your lifestyle.'

‘So what do I do with my loneliness?'

‘You don't know what loneliness is.'

‘Opoku …'

‘Ah, but you. Did you really think you were lonely? My sister, you don't know. What I was going to say though is that, if you really were lonely, and you wanted to do something about it badly enough, you would know what to do.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘Ah. I thought you people who go to universities know and understand everything.'

‘Now you are being nasty.'

‘Forgive me, my sister. I didn't mean it like that.'

‘So what was all that leading to?'

‘Simple. You just can't have everything your way, and not expect to be lonely, at least some of the time.'

After that, they both fell silent for a while.

‘No, you can't, Esi,' Opokuya said, as if there had been no pause. ‘No matter what anybody says, we can't have it all. Not if you are a woman. Not yet.'

Our society doesn't allow it.'

‘Esi, no society on this earth allows that.'

‘Oh Lord.'

‘I know I'm beginning to sound disagreeable. But I thought it was clear that whatever other faults he may have, which of course I wouldn't know about, Oko loved you and wanted your marriage to work.'

On his terms.'

‘It had to be on someone's terms.'

‘Why not on mine?'

‘Why are you now being so childish, eh? Our people have said that for any marriage to work, one party has to be a fool.'

‘And they really mean the woman, no?'

‘Naturally.'

They both burst out laughing again.

‘I knew it,' exclaimed Esi.

‘That's how life is.'

‘Well, I'm having none of it. P-e-r-i-o-d.'

‘Esi, if you really looked around at the world of husbands, wouldn't you admit that Oko wasn't that bad?' Then almost laughing again, ‘You should have tried harder to squeeze out some time for him.'

‘How? How could I have done more than I did as a wife and a mother, and still be able to compete on an equal basis with my male colleagues in terms of my output? How can I do more than I'm already doing and compete effectively for promotion, travel opportunities and other side-benefits of the job?'

Opokuya couldn't contain her patience any longer: ‘Esi, Esi, Esi! … What kind of talk is this? Ah. So you gave extra time to your job. You did the necessary travelling and attended the necessary conferences. You competed effectively and got promoted. Now look at what has happened to your marriage. Where does that leave you?'

They fell into another trough of silence, because they had both been mildly shocked by Opokuya's outburst. Opokuya herself was wondering what had gotten into her, and hadn't she gone too far? Esi was thinking that she didn't know Opokuya cared that much, and could Opokuya — and therefore everybody else — be right and she wrong? And in spite of her doubts, Opokuya couldn't keep quiet anyway.

‘Your male colleagues have still got their wives?' she said almost angrily.

‘Not to mention the odd girlfriend or two,' Esi added.

‘I'm glad you realise that yourself, eh? And of course their wives and girlfriends are still waiting for them to come back home from more conferences … And where is your husband?'

There was another long silence. Then Esi spoke.

‘Opokuya, I don't think I'm beginning to regret anything. But in fact, considering how much I put in my job … sometimes I even take home data to analyse! I never get that much from it, not half as much as those men … and even with the promotion, they passed me over
a couple of times

‘Now, stop. How do you know I want to hear all of that?'

‘Why is life so hard on the professional African woman?' Esi asked, her voice showing that she was a little puzzled.

But Opokuya wasn't having any of her self-pity. So she countered rather heavily. ‘Why is life so hard on the nonprofessional African woman? Eh? Esi, isn't life even harder for the poor rural and urban African woman?'

‘I think life is just hard on women,' Esi agreed, trying to calm Opokuya down.

‘But remember it is always harder for some other women somewhere else,' Opokuya insisted. Both of them sighed.

Esi opened her mouth to say something, then she clapped it quickly shut, opened her eyes wide and exclaimed in a whisper, ‘Opokuya, look who is here!'

‘Who ... who?' Opokuya asked, looking frantically around. But of course, there was no way she could easily have spotted the object of Esi's excited attention, since she hadn't met him before. Esi on her part was following him with her eyes as he, just as she had earlier, went straight up to the front desk. She tried not to stare too hard. But there was no doubt that she was interested in whoever he was. Finally, Opokuya said, with something like awe in her voice, ‘You mean that one?'

‘Yes.'

‘Do you know him?'

‘Yes. That's Ali. Kondey. Ali Kondey.'

Ali too had seen Esi the moment he entered the lobby. And although he had gone to the reception truly to make inquiries about a business associate he was expecting, he was also conscious of the need for him to use that time to recover from the extreme agitation that had attacked him at the sight of Esi. Then he was walking towards where the two friends were sitting.

As he got nearer their table, he extended his right arm. ‘A-llo, Esi.'

‘Hello, Ali,' said Esi, somewhat tremulously.

‘How nice to see you.'

‘I thought you were out of the country.'

‘Actually, since we last met, I've been in and out more than once.'

‘You are hardly a resident here.'

‘I know, it's the fault of my job.'

Both of them suddenly remembered that Opokuya was around.

Oh, Ali, meet my friend Mrs Opokuya Dakwa. Opoku, Mr Ali Kondey.'

‘Hello, Mr Kondey.'

‘Hello.'

Esi came back to Ali, ‘Would you like to join us?'

Much of All's charm poured out. ‘You know I would love to,' he said, ‘but I've got a guest here from across the border, and we are having a little conference in his room. In fact, I just spoke to him from the desk. He is expecting me.'

‘That's okay then,' Esi squeaked, her voice gone even thinner.

‘Still, it is a shame I can't join you,' Ali added. ‘But could I please phone you sometime during the coming week, Esi?'

Esi said that that would be fine. Ali thanked her, adding that it was a pleasure meeting Opokuya. Then he was gone.

‘God, he is gorgeous,' breathed Opokuya, as soon as she was sure Ali wouldn't hear her.

Esi agreed that Ali was handsome. Then with enormous surprise, Opokuya noticed that Esi's eyes were sparkling. She stayed quiet for a fraction of a second, and then asked Esi easily if she did not know Ali Kondey rather well.

‘Sort of,' Esi said, not so easily.

‘So what is this rubbish lonely-hearts line you've been serving me? And there was idiot me trying so hard to console you. Hah! Hah! Hah!' Opokuya had pretended to be angry and ended up laughing. Esi giggled.

‘Please, Opoku.'

‘Please my foot. I just caught you out. That's all.'

‘You see, it wasn't something I thought I could talk easily about, even to you.'

‘No?'

‘Not really … it's true he's been showing a lot of interest. Bringing me all sorts of gifts from his travels. Stuff like that. But I've been trying not to encourage him.'

‘Why not? After all, if you are leaving Oko or you have already left him, then you might as well take an insurance policy.'

‘Opoku, you are not being nice. And in any case, you know I'm not at all smart in these things.'

‘Esi, I know nothing. In fact, I'm beginning to think I don't know anything about you.'