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Authors: Kimberla Lawson Roby

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BOOK: Changing Faces
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Chapter 16

C
HARISSE

I
T WAS ONLY 6:30 P.M.,
but the parking lot at Mount Calvary Church of God in Christ was already half full. Charisse was getting excited already. There was nothing she loved more than being in church with hundreds of people, worshiping God and studying His written Word. There was nothing like being filled with the Holy Spirit and having the freedom to express yourself. It was a privilege to have such an awesome opportunity and Charisse took advantage of it. She did it every chance she got.

After parking her Mercedes 430, she got out and strutted across the parking lot in three-inch heels. Some of the members didn’t feel it was necessary to get all dressed up on a Wednesday night, but Charisse felt obligated. It was her belief that she should do it out of respect for the Lord. Especially since folks got dressed up all the time to go to work, go out dancing, and everywhere else she could think of, but didn’t seem to care about looking their best for God. Sure, they were good about doing it every Sunday, but any other time, they wore whatever they wanted.

Charisse walked through the side door and immediately saw a woman she had never been able to stand. Sister Holloway. Charisse had tried to get along with this woman on more than one occasion but it had never worked. Sister Holloway was a lukewarm Christian, the type of person who looked holy on the outside but had a lot of evilness on the inside. She was one of those women who never missed church under any circumstance but would lie, cheat, and backstab her own mother given the chance. Charisse thanked God that she herself wasn’t like that.

“How are you, Sister Holloway?” Charisse said, smiling and walking up the stairway.

“I’m fine, Sister Richardson, how are you?”

“Very well.”

“I noticed that you weren’t at church on Sunday.”

Yeah, and it’s none of your nosey-ass business either.

“No, I wasn’t,” Charisse said. “We had to rush my husband to the emergency room.”

“Oh my. Is he okay?”

“He’s fine. He had a really high fever, but the doctor said it was just a virus.”

“Well, maybe we should put him on the sick list.”

“I thought about that, but he’s feeling much better already. As a matter of fact, he’s planning to go back to work tomorrow.”

“Well, that’s good to hear. And please give him my best,” she said, walking down the hallway.

Charisse wanted to tell her how ridiculous she looked and how she should spend less time monitoring Charisse’s church attendance and more time going to the hair salon. Lord knows that weave she was wearing looked a mess. Almost like a hornet’s nest. And Charisse didn’t even want to get started on the difference in texture. Sister Holloway’s hair was off-black and boogeyman nappy, and the weaved hair was jet black and silky straight. Did she think she was fooling somebody?

Father, please forgive me for my wayward thinking
.

Charisse continued toward the door to the sanctuary and saw Pastor Damon.

“Hi, Pastor,” Charisse said, hugging him.

“It’s good to see you, Sister Richardson. We missed you on Sunday.”

“I know. I was just telling Sister Holloway about Marvin going to the hospital.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes. It was just a flu.”

“Well, good.”

“Pastor, do you think it would be possible for me to speak with you after Bible study?”

“Of course.”

“There’s something I need to discuss with you.”

“Okay. Why don’t I meet you in my office when we dismiss.”

“I appreciate it.”

Pastor Damon walked away and Charisse felt better about her problems already. Marvin hadn’t thought Pastor was the person they needed to talk to, but Charisse knew that Pastor could fix anything. He’d done so, time and time again, for so many other people. She hadn’t planned on telling him about the problems she and Marvin were having, but now she needed him to help her. She needed someone to understand what she was going through.

Charisse greeted and mingled with a few more members and finally entered the sanctuary. It was seven o’clock on the dot, the organist played quietly, and Pastor Damon stepped to the podium.

“If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land, but if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword, for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.”

Amens came from every direction.

“It’s so good to see all of you here this evening and shame on those who didn’t come.”

“Amen, preacher,” one of the deacons yelled.

“Lord have mercy on their souls,” said one of the missionaries.

“You know,” Pastor continued, “God doesn’t like it when we rebel against His Word. He doesn’t like it when Christians rebel against what their pastor has instructed them to do.”

“All right, all right,” one of the associate ministers offered.

“Now, I’ve explained to every member in this church how important it is to attend Bible study, and even more so now that we have actual service. But it seems to me that there’s a lot of bad talk about that, too.”

“My Lord,” an older woman said, sighing.

“But what I want all of you to know is that
I
didn’t make the decision to have full service on Wednesday night. This whole thing isn’t even about me. It’s about God and what He wants. I can still remember the night he woke me up out of my sleep and said, ‘Terry, sixty minutes of Bible study just isn’t enough anymore. There’s not nearly enough worshiping going on as there needs to be. So, what I want you to do is teach a full Bible lesson the same as always, but I also want you to add in all the other aspects of morning worship. The choir needs to sing the way they normally do, you need to hold general altar prayer, and you must collect regular tithes and offerings.”

Charisse was so glad Pastor was addressing all the negative comments and attitudes she’d been witnessing herself over the last few months. It was almost as if people didn’t understand that they needed to be in church as much as possible. For her, three to four times a week would have been acceptable, let alone two.

Charisse was behind Pastor one hundred percent.

“So, what I want all of you to do, you, the loyal members, is to encourage those who are being disobedient. If you have their phone numbers, call them on the phone. If you work with them, talk to them face-to-face. If you only see them on Sunday morning, then pull them aside and tell them what God wants them to do.”

Amens resonated throughout the building. Everyone who was present was in agreement with Pastor and that made Charisse happy. She had never understood how anyone could go against any man who had been called to preach. Pastor Damon had always said that he was an instrument of God and that to really reach out to the Lord, members needed to connect to God through him. He’d told his members about the special connection that only pastors could have with the Lord and how it was their job to do whatever Pastor Damon asked of them.

Charisse couldn’t wait for service to be over with. Pastor Damon would make her feel better about everything.

“So, Sister Richardson, what can I do for you?” Pastor said, leaning back in the chair behind his desk.

“My marriage is in a lot of trouble.”

“I’m truly sorry to hear that.”

“Marvin has changed so much and he’s so cold toward me.”

“And how long has this been going on?”

“I first noticed it a few months back but now it’s out of control. He won’t listen to anything I say. And as you can see, he won’t even come to church anymore.”

“Hmmm. Have you talked to him about it?”

“Yes, but mostly all we do is argue.”

“Have you suggested that the two of you come in for marriage counseling?”

“Yes, but he refuses to do it.”

“Then I’m not sure what to tell you. I mean, if Brother Richardson won’t come in to talk with me by his own free will, there’s not that much we can do for him.”

“But what about me?”


You
need to take care of you. Brother Richardson is a grown man, and if he can’t appreciate a beautiful Christian woman like yourself, then it’s his loss.”

“Pastor, I’m so unhappy. And remember last year when I told you how miserable I was starting to feel with Marvin?”

“I do.”

“Well, this time it’s so much worse. I feel like I’m stuck in a terrible situation and that I’ll never be able to get out of it.”

Pastor Damon got up, walked around his desk, and stopped directly in front of where Charisse was sitting.

“Stand up,” he said.

Charisse obeyed him and waited to see what else he had to say.

He caressed the side of her face. “You do know that this is all the work of Satan, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“I mean, only Satan would have you thinking this way and making you believe that there just isn’t any hope.”

Charisse gazed into Pastor Damon’s eyes. “But sometimes I feel like I don’t have anyone to turn to, not even my friends or some of the people at the church. And now all Marvin wants is for us to go see some therapist.”

“Sister Richardson, look. From what I’ve learned over the years, most of these so-called therapists are only in the business to rip people off. What they do is charge you a ton of money but they don’t really ever help you.”

“Then tell me, Pastor, what should I do?”

“Remember last year when you came to me?”

“Yes.”

“And I fixed things for you, didn’t I?” he said, pulling her body flush against his and holding her around her waist.

“But I can’t ask you to do that again, because there are so many other people who need your help.”

“Why don’t you let me worry about that? Because the thing is, you’re the one who really needs me right now. You’re one of the most faithful members of our church, and if anyone deserves the special connection that I have with God, it’s you.”

“I just don’t feel worthy.”

“Well, you are. And while you don’t know this, God had already spoken to me during the service and told me to help you. That’s why when you came up to my office at the church like we had originally agreed, I asked you to come over here to my condo. It’s because of cases like yours that I have this office, too. God had already authorized me to take care of you and you didn’t even know it. He is using me, his instrument, to give you His love.”

Charisse stared at him and Pastor Damon kissed her passionately.

Charisse’s body was on fire and she was glad she’d made the decision to come see him. She was glad that Pastor was so willing to satisfy her needs, especially since Marvin didn’t want to.

Still, she couldn’t help wondering if Pastor really thought she was that naïve—that she actually believed he was preparing to do God’s work. That he’d actually been doing God’s work the last time they’d had buck-wild sex. That time Marvin had spent two full days away from her so he could sit at some hospital with his father.

She could still remember the entire evening, moment by moment, and how Pastor had shown a side of himself that Charisse hadn’t been aware of. She remembered how kinky he’d been, how good he’d made her feel, and how he had begged her to see him regularly. But Charisse had decided that once or twice a year was enough. She’d decided to control the situation the same as she had with Marvin. She’d decided to save their meetings for times like this, when she desperately needed him. More so, she hadn’t wanted to commit an outlandish number of sins in a twelve-month period. It was a self-made rule she’d come up with during her college years. No one was without sin, but unlike so many others she knew, Charisse only sinned every now and then. She only did it when it was very necessary. When she’d had all she could take from Marvin or when her childhood memories were too vivid.

Pastor Damon moved his lips from Charisse’s mouth and kissed her up and down her neck. He breathed heavily and his hands wandered all over her body. Charisse moaned without realizing it. Pastor Damon unzipped her dress and pushed it off of her shoulders. When it dropped to the floor, Charisse stepped out of it and unbuttoned the one-piece garment she was wearing. Then she removed her panty hose. Pastor Damon removed his suit jacket and loosened his tie but never bothered removing his shirt. Then he stripped off his pants and boxers and waited for Charisse to bend over the edge of his desk.

When she did, Pastor Damon entered her aggressively. He acted as though he was punishing her.

He gave her exactly what she wanted and she welcomed it.

Chapter 17

T
AYLOR

H
EY, MARVIN,”
I said, walking into the entryway. “I’m sorry to stop by so late, but I promised Brianna I would bring her package to her.”

“No problem. That girl has been waiting for you all night. She’s a clothes fanatic.”

“Auntie Taylor,” Brianna said, rushing down the stairway, smiling.

“Hey, sweetie,” I said, hugging her and kissing her on the forehead, and she reached for the UPS box I was holding.

“Let me see,” she said. “Will you wait for me to try it on?”

“I won’t leave until I see you model it.”

Brianna skipped back up the stairs.

“I was in the kitchen looking at the new television I bought today,” Marvin said. “Wanna see it?”

“Is it one of those miniature flat-screens?”

“Yep. I’ve been wanting to get one for a while but I kept waiting for the price to go down.”

We walked into the kitchen and I sat my purse down in one of the chairs at the granite-topped island.

“This is nice, Marvin. I’m not sure when I’d be able to watch it, but I’m getting one of these.”

“I like it, too. Charisse will probably throw a fit since I didn’t consult her. But that’s just too damn bad.”

Okay, time-out. First, Charisse was acting strange at lunch today, and now Marvin was saying that he didn’t care what she thought regarding his TV? And had he actually used the word
damn?

But I decided not to comment.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” he said, and I sat down in the chair.

“No, actually, I’m fine. I had a vanilla latte on the way over here.”

“This late?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I’m planning to leave work kind of early tomorrow, so that means I’ll be up to the wee hours tonight working at home.”

“The life of a big-time attorney.”

We both laughed and he sat across from me.

“Check this out, Auntie Taylor.” Brianna appeared, sporting her new jeans outfit.

“You look good, girl. It’s definitely you.”

“I like it, too, sweetheart,” Marvin said.

“Now I’m going to try on the dress,” she said, and left the room.

I looked at my watch and saw that it was ten-thirty. “Charisse is at church awfully late, isn’t she?”

“To be honest, I really hadn’t noticed,” he said, popping the top from a bottle of beer.

At that moment, I wanted to run for cover. Why? Because I didn’t want to be anywhere near Marvin or this new beverage of his when his wife got home. Liquor? In Charisse’s house? Please.

“You know how she is when she goes around her church people,” he continued. “Time just flies like the wind. And she doesn’t even notice it.”

Marvin was being so sarcastic and now I was even more curious about what was going on between them. Usually he was this very reserved, speak-only-when-spoken-to sort of guy, but today he was different. He was acting like, well…a real man.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Has it ever been?”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to his question. Not when he’d always been such a yes-man and had always allowed Charisse to rule over him. The man was as compassionate and pleasant as can be, but Charisse treated him like he was soft.

“I guess I don’t know what you mean,” I finally said.

“Now, Taylor. Let’s be honest. Charisse and I have been married for years, but things were never okay. Maybe for her it was, but I was miserable.”

As much as I litigated cases week in and week out, I was still at a loss for words—again.

“I guess you’re shocked to hear me say that, huh?”

“No, not really,” I admitted.

“Well then, you understand why my attitude has changed.”

“So, how does Charisse feel about all this?”

“Your friend has got some real mental problems and she needs to see a doctor. Don’t you think?”

I’d heard that one before, even back in college from some of our dorm mates. Charisse did do and say some strange things, but I’d always overlooked them. Maybe I’d just gotten used to her personality and had accepted her for who she was.

Brianna walked back into the room before I could say anything and I was glad. She twirled around like she was on a fashion runway.

“I love that one, too,” I said. “And it fits perfectly.”

“What do you think, Daddy?” she asked.

“It looks good. As a matter of fact, I’ll probably have to hurt some little boy when you wear it.”

“Daddy,” she said, whining, and then said, “Thanks, Auntie Taylor. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, sweetie.” Brianna held on to me longer than usual. She didn’t seem sad or like anything was wrong, but it was almost as if she hadn’t wanted to let go. Now I wondered what had gone on today between her and her mother. There was just no telling.

“I’ve gotta call Ashley to tell her about my stuff. Make sure you come say good-bye, Auntie Taylor, before you leave.”

“I will.”

Marvin flipped through the channels of his new toy.

“Well, I was planning to wait around until Charisse got home, but if I’m going to get any work done, I need to get going.”

“Aren’t you going to answer my question?”

“Which is?”

“Don’t you think Charisse needs to see a psychiatrist?”

“I don’t know. I mean, before tonight, I wouldn’t have thought she needed to see anyone.”

“But that’s only because she acts pretty normal around you and Whitney. She does the same thing at work and at church. But around here, she acts like a raving lunatic. Just this morning, she told Brianna that she loved her and that she wanted them to start doing things together, which is pretty weird in itself because you know how she normally treats Brianna. But when Brianna hugged her, she burst into tears and ran downstairs. And then guess what?”

“What?”

“When the kids and I finally got dressed and came down here to the kitchen, she had already cooked breakfast. It was as if nothing had ever happened. She was acting like June Cleaver or somebody. You would have sworn she was the perfect wife and mother.”

“Maybe you should get her to talk to someone after all.”

“I already tried. I figured I would wean her into it by getting her to see a marriage counselor with me, but she’s not hearing it. She went through the roof when I suggested it.”

“Maybe she’ll listen to me.”

“Maybe. But just so you know, I only want her to get help for Brandon and Brianna’s sake. Because as far as our marriage is concerned, that’s pretty much over. I’ll stay here until the kids graduate from high school, but after that, I’m outta here.”

All I could do was stare at him. I wanted to ask him to rethink his position, but I could tell his mind was made up.

“I really hate hearing that, Marvin.”

“I know, but it is what it is,” he said, and at that moment, Charisse walked inside the house.

“Hey, Taylor,” she said. “Marvin.”

“Hey,” I said.

Marvin just looked at her and turned up his bottle.

Now I wished I had left ten minutes ago.

“Did Brianna like what you bought her?” Charisse asked, and I couldn’t believe she was ignoring Marvin’s drink. She hadn’t said a thing about the television either.

“She loved the jeans outfit and the dress,” I said. “She tried them on and then went up to her room to call her girlfriend.”

“Good.”

“But hey, how was church?”

“Taylor, for the first time in a long while, I felt like God was right in my presence. I don’t mean in the usual way, but like He was with me physically. It was an experience that everyone should have before they leave this earth.”

Amazing. I was astonished by the way she was acting, and I could tell that Marvin was completely disappointed because he’d been hoping his new drinking activity was going to upset her. I assumed he’d wanted to reimpress upon her his new freedom to do whatever he wanted. But Charisse didn’t care. She’d had this massive revelation with God and was sitting on top of the world.

Marvin had said she was crazy, but now I didn’t know what to think.

Although I had a feeling I’d learn soon enough.

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