Chaos (5 page)

“I guess. I’m just not entirely sure I trust him to keep his
mouth shut yet.” She shrugged. “Rewind this. I want to see the whole thing.”

“Ever heard the word please?”

She glared for a moment. “Fine. Pleeese, McKade, let me
watch the video.” She batted her eyes in an exaggerated way. “Any chance of
some leftovers to go with it?”

“You’re hopeless, absolutely hopeless. Hang on for a second.
I have French toast all ready to cook. It’ll only take a minute.”

“French toast? Real French toast? Not from the toaster? Are
you sure you’re not gay?” She followed him to the kitchen and perched on the
counter again while he cooked. At his raised eyebrow, she laughed, “Guess I
already know the answer to that, huh?”

“I should hope so. Of course,” he grinned wickedly, “I could
always turn this off and give you a little demonstration.”

“After I eat, that smells too good and I’m hungry.”

“I see. You’re only interested in my food.”

“Don’t get so prickly, I’ll get to your body in a little
while.” She hopped off the counter and stood behind him, wrapping her arms
around his waist. As he worked on breakfast, she nibbled on his back.

“You better cut that out, Campini,” he whispered harshly
when her hands caressed his chest. “I may not be able to finish what I’m doing
here if you don’t.”

Instantly, she stepped away from him. “Sorry, can’t have
that.” She chuckled at the expression on his face. “I promise, I’ll get back to
you after we eat and watch the video. Did you see all of it?”

“No, just the first few minutes.” He reached for plates.
“I’ll trade you breakfast for a kiss.”

“Okay,” she readily agreed and placed a quick kiss on his
cheek, before grabbing for her plate.

Shane held it out of her reach. “Not so fast, Pixie Queen. I
demand a real kiss, not whatever that thing was that you just tried to pass off
as one.” With his free hand, he snagged her and pulled her against his chest.
Holding her gaze, he slowly lowered his head until his was just a breath away
from hers. “I’m waiting.”

“Damn you, McKade,” she growled as she reached up and forced
his head down to close the distance between them. Meeting his lips, she kissed
him with ferocious intensity. When she began to feel as if they would both
spontaneously combust, she forced herself to back away. “Satisfied?”

“No,” he tired to regain the conversation, “but I will be
soon enough.” He handed her the plate and pointed to the syrup on the counter.

When Alyssa realized he was watching her douse her
breakfast, she warned, “Not one word, I mean it.”

“Who me? If you want to go into sugar shock, that’s up to
you. I have to warn you though. I’m going to avail myself of your body even if
you pass out so maybe you want to avoid some of that. I’d like you to enjoy it
too.”

“You’re such a pig,” she said, laughing to take away any
harshness.

When they were settled on the sofa, he started the video
from the beginning. They watched as Jordan played on the beach with one of the
blue-footed birds that Max was so fascinated with. “He’d bring one home with
him if he could,” Shane said quietly.

“I think he’d do anything for that little boy,” Alyssa
agreed. “I wish they could find the cure for him. I know they won’t, not in
time anyway but I can’t help it.”

“I know what you mean. At least we all got the chance to
know him. He really is the best kid ever, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. I was surprised that he was Jordan’s best man instead
of you or Brett. I guess it makes sense though. I mean, that way he didn’t have
to choose between the two of you and neither of you could possibly mind.”

“Yes and no. I told Jordan that he should ask Brett. He’s
been a better friend over the years than I was at times. It would have been
right for him to have Brett.”

“And I’d bet Brett told him to ask you, now that you got
over judging him. Your brother’s a great guy, McKade. I’m glad Kiley found
him.” They returned their focus to the video where they saw Kiley spreading out
a picnic while the bird watched. Jordan must have put the camera on a rock
because he joined her on the blanket. They both had some words for Max before
they ate, alternating between looking into the camera and at each other. When
the couple said goodbye, promising to visit Max as soon as they were home, the
video ended. “Wow. Did you see how happy they look?”

“Yeah, in love too. And that was made for a kid. Imagine how
they look at each other when they’re not thinking ‘PG’.”

“I wish…” She let her voice dwindle into nothing.

“What do you wish? What’s going on in that adorable head of
yours, Campini?” Shane took the empty plates to the sink.

Adorable? Must be the effect of watching Kiley and Jordan.
“Nothing really. I was just thinking out loud. I can’t imagine me acting like
that.”

“Me either,” Shane stated without thinking. When he noticed
her frown, he quickly added, “What I meant was that every couple is different.
You’re too mad all the time to act that soft. Too hyper too. I think, even if
you were that much in love, you’d still be yelling about it instead of sighing
the way your cousin does. I don’t think you do mellow except when you’re
completely satiated and about to pass out from exhaustion.”

“I might be offended by that if I let myself think about it.
But I’m not willing to waste my time over your opinion on this. After all, it’s
not like you’re an expert on love, is it, McKade?”

“You got me there.” He rolled his eyes at her. “In fact,
this whole discussion is probably a waste of time when we consider our
alternative plan. We could go back to bed and see about that satisfaction you
implied earlier.” When she laughed, he couldn’t resist tossing her over his
shoulder and striding toward the bedroom.

“I’m going to grab a shower. Why don’t you relax for a few
minutes?” Shane was overcome with the need to distance himself from Alyssa, if
only for a brief time. The feelings that had started to swirl through him were
too intense. He relished the spontaneous, combustible passion when they had
sex. He’d already admitted to himself that everything they did together was so
much better than he’d found with anyone else. But this last time, they’d gone
slowly and taken their time with each other. Yes, they’d definitely made sweet,
tender love instead of having wild, mind-blowing sex. Even scarier, Alyssa
seemed to have noticed the change too, if her silence was any indication. What
the hell was he going to do now? This was about sex, fun, mutual pleasure,
that’s all. Sure he cared about her. He never would have touched her if he
hadn’t, at least on some level. The two of them simply weren’t supposed to
connect in the intimate way they just had.

Shane adjusted the shower, hoping the cold water would help
clear his head. It must be from the video they watched. That had to be it.
Seeing Jordan and Kiley together, talking to Max, was enough to soften even the
most untouchable of hearts. It didn’t help that Alyssa’s face had been
completely unreadable either. Usually, he could easily read her excitement
building in her eyes. This last time, though, she just stared at him. She
looked almost as confused as he felt but there was so much more along with her
confusion.

As he stepped out of the shower, Shane decided it would be
for the best if he just ignored it. Surely she wasn’t turning all girly and
sentimental on him. If he let her see how their tenderness had affected him,
he’d most likely find himself the recipient of some very harsh tormenting.
She’d already chided him for adding oil to their bath and preparing fresh
vegetables for their dinner. The last thing he needed was her to trash his
feelings, especially since he wasn’t entirely sure what they were yet.

“Wow, McKade, look at that bod. You could be in an ad. Or
you could have your own calendar if you wanted. You’re really hot without that
scowl on your face.” Alyssa was leaning against door, studying him.

“Sure, Campini, I can just hear the captain when I tell him
I’m going to be Mr. March in a calendar. That would do wonders for my tough-guy
image.”

“Think big, stud. You’re tasty enough to have your own
calendar. You could donate the proceeds to some police fund. Just picture all
the feminine attention you’d attract.”

“No thanks, Pixie Queen. I prefer to keep females guessing
until I decide I want to show my bod to them.” He was relieved that the mood
between them was back to light and playful. “What are you doing today?”

“I thought I’d spend some time in my studio, choosing the
final shots for the homeless assignment and putting together a private album
for Kiley and Jordan. I have a bunch more shots to work my way through.” Alyssa
hoped she sounded normal. When Shane had rushed off to shower earlier, she had
been shaken by the emotions created by their last mutual satisfaction.
Something had shifted and Alyssa was uncomfortable. She was thoroughly
determined to squelch whatever she was feeling. Shane McKade was a sexy man but
that’s all. She’d enjoy his body like he was her personal plaything when the
opportunity presented itself but there was no possibility that he could ever be
more than that. She didn’t have any interest in any sort of relationship at
this point in her life, especially with him.

“Want some company?” The question popped out before Shane
even realized he was going to ask it.

“Have you ever done any camera work, McKade?”

“No but you can teach me how to do things. Or I can just
stay out of the way and talk to you.”

“You really want to come with me? Why?”

“I don’t know. You’re starting to grow on me, now that
you’ve stopped being so hostile every time you open your mouth. It’ll make
Kiley happy if I tell her we spent some unforced time together.”

“We’ve spent a lot of time together lately.”

“I know but I thought I’d skip the hours we were naked. I
don’t see that they need to know about that. I’m not going to hide it from them
but I didn’t think I’d announce it either.”

“I see. You’re going to be casual and if it comes out it
does?”

“Yeah, unless you want me to do something else.”

“You do whatever you want. I’m not going to be around
anyway. I figure she’ll be over any ideas she has by the time I get back.
You’re on your own on this one.”

“Thanks,” he grumbled sarcastically while she giggled. “You
know this means you have to let me hang out with you today. It’ll sound better
if Kiley thinks we actually got along a little instead of just having sex.”

“You can’t seriously be worried about my sweet cousin?”

“Not worried. I just don’t want her mad at me right away. If
she’s mad, Jordan will have to get in the middle and I don’t want us to cause
their first fight.”

“Now I’m really glad I won’t be around. I’ll make a deal
with you. You can help me and I’ll even show you the wedding albums if you’ll
do one thing for me.”

“Why am I afraid to ask what that one thing is?”

“Relax. I just want to take a few shots of you.”

“Campini…”

“Come on, McKade. I already know the camera loves you. I
have some great photos of you in your tux. I’d like some casual ones. I’m sure
your parents could use a recent picture of you. How long has it been? College,
high school?”

“They have the picture they took when I graduated from the
police academy.”

“Then it’s time you give them a new one. Come on, don’t be
such a wuss. I’ll do some in black and white and let you print them. You can
delete any that you don’t like. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“Okay, okay, fine. I give in.”

“Good, I’ll just grab some stuff for you.”

“Wait! Hold on. What does that mean exactly?”

“Trust me, McKade. I’m a highly respected professional.
People would pay big bucks for me to take candid shots of them.”

He stood helplessly and watched as she ransacked his
drawers. When she handed him a pair of soft knit cotton boxers, his most worn
jeans and a navy tee shirt, he put them on without comment. When she
disappeared into the bathroom, carrying his sweats and a shirt, he was amazed
at how comfortable it was to be with her when she wasn’t arguing about some
ridiculous point.

* * * * *

“I’m impressed, Campini,” Shane commented after wandering
slowly around her studio. “Why don’t you ever show any of these human-looking
ones?”

“I’m not into that at the moment. I just take a few now and
then so I have a portfolio when I’m ready to switch. I know I won’t want to do
the sort of things I’m doing now forever. I want to be ready for whatever comes
next.”

“So you just go with the flow? How will you know when it’s
time to change?”

“I just will. What about you? Are you planning on being a
cop forever?”

“Six months ago I would have said yes. But now, I don’t
know. I always wanted to be a cop and I thought I wanted to be in a city but
lately I’ve started to have some doubts. It feels like we’re fighting a losing
battle.” He pointed to one of her photos, a boy with pale, almost luminescent
skin and black, obviously dyed hair. “This is one of the kids from your gang
series. He’s all of what, thirteen? He should be playing football with his
buddies, not stealing guns or selling drugs. He’s just a kid, for Christ’s
sake! Why isn’t he home where he belongs?”

“His dad is in the army in Germany with his new family. He’s
not sure about his mom. She’s an addict and a hooker when she needs more drugs.
He was with his grandparents but the old man beat him, just like he used to
beat his dad. When he said he wanted to stay with his mom, his grandmother told
him if he left to never come back. He tried to help his mom get cleaned up but
she didn’t want to. He took off when one of the guys with her noticed how cute
he is.”

“I hate this! That’s what I was talking about. How can we
hope to make the city safer when we can’t even help that one kid?” Shane
sighed. “How’d you get him to tell you so much about himself? I thought they
were supposed to leave their pasts behind when they found their new family?”

“He was the one who had to follow me around to see what I
was doing. It took three days for me to convince him that he’d have an easier
job of it if he actually stayed with me instead of sneaking around, spying on
me. He gave in when I ordered an extra cheeseburger and fries. The one thing he
wouldn’t tell me was his real name. The others called him ‘the Kid’ so that’s
what he told me to call him too. He said he’ll get a real name after he gets
initiated.”

“You mean after his first kill.”

“Is that what initiation is? He wouldn’t tell me anything
about it. Man, I’d like to go drag him out of there.”

“That would get you both killed, you know that.”

“Yes, I do and no, I really won’t, but damn, I wish I could.
He’s a smart kid. When I told him my dad was a Marine we had quite a
conversation about the similarities between the military and gangs. I know he
hasn’t gone to school much but it’s obvious he reads a lot. He pays attention
and says things that make it clear that he puts thought into what he sees. Why
do kids think gangs are the answer?”

“Because they’re accepted. If they don’t have any sort of
bond at home they take whatever they can find, even if it does lower their life
expectancy to their early twenties at best. I hate to see it but I know I can’t
help them unless they want to be helped. That’s part of why I’m thinking of
getting out. Or maybe going back to a small town where I might be able to make
a difference.”

“The small town where your brother and Brett are going to
be?”

“Maybe. They followed me to the city. Maybe it’s my turn to
follow them and get out of here.”

“You better not say anything until you make up your mind.
Kiley would jump all over something like that. She’s finally found the kind of
life she always wanted. Her dream always included having family around so she’d
be thrilled. She hated being an only child. I think you’re going to find
yourself becoming her big brother too.”

“I’d like that. I’m looking forward to them having kids. I
think they’ll make great parents. We won’t have to worry about their kids.”

“Especially if Uncle Shane is the town cop. You like kids,
don’t you, McKade?”

“I told you. I love them. Maybe, instead of being the town
cop I’ll find myself a high-powered career woman and do the Mr. Mom thing. I
wouldn’t mind staying home, taking care of my family.”

“Like some career woman would want to set you up as her
househusband!” Alyssa snorted at the thought of it.

“I don’t know. Think about it. I could take care of the kids
and the house. I’d have dinner ready when she got home and, after the kids are
in bed, I could run her a bath and soothe away any tension from her day. Then,
after she’s nice and mellow, I could see what I could do to build a different
sort of tension and we could spend every night having wild sex to release it.”

“Gee, maybe you should take out an ad and schedule some
interviews. Or Jordan could ask women to call in one night when he runs out of
things to talk about. He could set up appointments for you.”

“You’re so romantic, Campini. Don’t you believe in falling
in love like Kiley and Jordan did? Don’t you think that somewhere in the world,
there is one person who is just perfect for you? Don’t you think that one of
these days fate will throw you together? Who knows, you could get sucked up in
a tornado next month and land in your dream guy’s lap.”

“Oh sure, that’ll happen.” She rolled her eyes as she
started fiddling with her cameras. “First of all, I don’t have a specific dream
guy image in my mind. Second, I don’t intend to get sucked up in any tornadoes.
I’ll tell you the same thing I’ve been telling Kiley and Jordan. The team I’ll
be with is good. They know what they’re doing. The whole point of me being with
them is to show the dangers of getting too close and they’re not going to make
an exception with me. I will pay attention to what they tell me, just as I did
with the Kid. When they say it’s time to move, I will. I hope to get some
phenomenal photos but I’m not willing to risk my life to do it.”

“Whoa.” Shane held up his hands in surrender. “I don’t doubt
you and I’m not trying to talk you out of going. I’m not like Kiley. I
understand that sometimes you have to do what you have to do. And you seem
driven to do this so go for it. Go get the best damn before and after pictures
in the history of the world. Just do me a favor, okay?”

“What?”

“Come back safe. I think, by the time you get home, I’ll
have myself convinced that the sex we shared couldn’t possibly be as incredible
as I’ll be remembering it so I’m going to need some time with you.”

Shane had said it lightly but Alyssa felt like she couldn’t
breathe. What did he mean? Was he saying that he wanted to see her for real, as
in more than just sex? Was he saying that he wouldn’t be having any while she
was away? “Sure thing, stud. That is, unless you find that ideal career woman
while I’m gone. I don’t mess around with married men and I’m not making any
exceptions, not even for you.”

“Well that’s a relief,” he laughed. “I was expecting you to
call Kiley one day and tell her you were running away with the storm tracker and
never coming back. I know his wife will be there too, so Jordan and I can stop
worrying about that one.”

“Yeah but what about his wife? I said I don’t go for married
men. I never said anything about married women.” Shane just stared with his
mouth hanging open. “Shit, McKade, I’m kidding. I’ve never been into women, not
that I mind other people having that preference. I always tried to keep an open
mind about that idea. I mean, who am I to judge someone else on where they find
their pleasure? After all, I’ve found plenty with you in the past week and I’m
sure some of my friends would have an opinion on that.”