Chapter and Verse (26 page)

When I walked through the closet doorway, he was seated on the side of the bed with his head bowed and in his hands.  His bowtie was untied and hanging around his neck, his top two buttons were undone.  His hair was a sexy mess, probably from him running his hands through it a dozen or more times tonight.  His shoes were off and haphazardly tossed near his dresser.  He looked completely and thoroughly, done in.  I’d never seen him like this before and it made me want to comfort him.  It made me want him to comfort me.  I was as sick of fighting as he was.

“
For the record, I wasn’t necessarily waiting for you.  I fell asleep in your bed.”

His head snapped up and he looked at me as if I were an apparition.  He stayed perfectly still, waiting to see if I’d come closer or run.  I moved until I was within touching distance, but he continued to keep his hands to himself.  Good call on his part, I had things that needed saying.

“
Deacon, I don’t wanna fight with you any more tonight.  We both said some terrible things and made a shitload of wrong assumptions because we’re both new at this.  Do you agree?”

His eyes never left me and he nodded enthusiastically, bless him.  My baby was half drunk and plumb wore out.  There was just one more thing that needed clarifying and then the rest could wait until tomorrow as far as I was concerned.

“
Do you love me Deke?”

“
Dor’, I have never loved or needed anything in my life the way that I love and need you.  Please tell me that you believe me and you’re not going to leave me alone tonight.”

“
I love you you too baby, and I’m not going anywhere until we fix whatever it is that’s broken between us.  Okay?”

He closed his eyes and every worry line that was deeply etched on his gorgeous face, vanished.  He reached out and I walked into his hands.  He pulled me in close and placed his face against my abdomen, breathing me in much as I’d breathed in his scent from his pillow earlier.

“
Mine.”

For some reason, that word didn’t bother me this time.  Instead, I ran my fingers through his hair, then leaned over and kissed the top of his head.

“
Yep.  And you’re mine Deacon Sloan.  All mine.”

He looked up at me with such adoration in his eyes, I felt my breath catch.

“
Forever?”

I smiled and winked at him.

“
We’ll get to that tomorrow.  Which side?”

“
What?”

“
Deacon, which side of the bed do you sleep on?  I don’t know about you, but I’m wiped and I was sleeping great until you and the shrieker came in.”

He started laughing and stood, pulling me into a much needed hug.

“
Baby, I pretty much sleep in the middle and go from there.  I travel when I sleep.”

“
Well I don’t and I’m a light sleeper to boot.  You move around too much, and you’ll find your happy ass duct taped to the headboard.  Got it?”

He leaned down and kissed me and this was the goodnight kiss I’d longed for, from the man I wanted it from.

“
Pretty girl, if you’re in my bed I have a feeling I’ll be staying nearby all night.”

I climbed up on the bed and settled into the spot I’d occupied earlier.

“
Good.  You’re warm and you could hang meat in this damned place.  What’s the thermostat set at?”

He started disrobing as if I weren’t there, and it surprised me a little.  Either he was comfortable taking his clothes off in front of women at large - a thought that made me scowl - or he liked the idea of taking his clothes off in front of me.  For my own sanity and his safety, I chose to believe the latter.

He got down to his boxers and then turned off the light.  I felt the bed dip as he crawled to the middle, and then he settled onto his back.  He started tugging on the back of my t-shirt and he wouldn’t stop until I was nestled into his side with my head on his chest.  He put his arm around me and sighed.

I could hear his heartbeat slow and steady and it was pulling me under.  He was warm and I was cozy.  He kissed me on the top of the head and I kissed his chest in return.

“
Sixty-six.”

I wondered if he just blurted out random numbers in his sleep.

“
What?”

“
The thermostat is set at sixty-six year round.”

“
Not if I’m living here it won’t be.  I don’t own enough sweaters.”

“
When you’re ready to move in, we’ll negotiate.  Personally, I thought we’d sell both and by a house.”

“
A house?  Really?”

He chuckled at the enthusiasm he heard in my voice.

“
Why not?  You could work from home and people commute into the city all the time.  I could learn.”

I leaned up and kissed his stubbled chin and felt him smile.  He hugged me close and I felt that same chin rub nuzzle against the top of my head.

“
Dor’, why are you so easy to please?  You never ask for a damned thing except my time.  You could care less whether we’re eating lobster or hamburgers and your favorite place to go away with me, appears to be my parent’s farm in Connecticut.  Have you always been this way?”

I shrugged and started drawing circles with my finger on his abdomen.

“
Pretty much.  Money never impressed me much.  People impress me more than money.  Traveling never did much for me because my folks traveled so much that I associate it with packing and unpacking.  I never saw anything except the inside of hotel rooms because one of them always had business to attend to.  And food is food Deacon.  I’m not fussy.”

“
I can see all of that, but wouldn’t you like me to buy you something nice?”

“
Baby, I’ve got everything I need, why in the hell would I want stuff I don’t?”

“
You’re unreal Dorothy Lincoln.”

“
I’m real alright.  Do you know what I’d really like to have?”

“
No babe.  Tell me.”

“
More moments like this.  No drama, no fighting, no outsiders causing trouble.  You and me in a cool dark place, cuddled under the blanket keeping each other warm.  This right here is my idea of the perfect moment.”

He pulled me up until my face was two inches from his own.  His gray eyes seemed to glow in the moonlight shining in from the window and I couldn’t tear mine away.

“
You mean that don’t you.”

He’d phrased it more as a statement than a question, and it brought out something in me that I had to express.

“
Deacon there’s nothing more precious in this world than moments like this with you.  You really have absolutely no idea how much you mean to me, do you?”

He kissed me slowly, lingering just enough to make me want more.  When he pulled back, he kissed the tip of my nose and then cupped the side of my face, pulling me once again to his chest.

“
I’m beginning to understand that it’s true, I’m still trying to figure out why.  I can’t quit shooting myself in the foot long enough to give you a favorable impression.”

“
Why do you keep trying?  To give me a favorable impression I mean.”

“
Because I love you so much, I can’t stop.”

“
Well there you go.”

“
What do you mean?”

“
You wondered why you mean so much to me.  I love you because you never give up.  You keep trying to get it right Deke.  That counts for everything with me.  When you quit trying, I’ll let you go.  It’ll be the least I can do for someone that I love as much as you.”

“
If you thought I was unhappy, you’d let me go just like that?”

“
I’d have to.  I won’t be the one to cage the lone wolf Deacon.  Not if he needs to run.  I’ll turn him loose with a kiss and a smile.”

No one said anything for a long time, and then Deacon kissed my forehead and whispered, “Mine”.

Deacon is an early riser, in more ways than one.  I’m not usually able to make an intelligible sound until at least nine, and I don’t have a viable thought process until ten.  That is contingent upon three cups of coffee and time alone to enjoy it.

I woke up to a dimly lit bedroom, in a bed other than my own, to soft kisses on my neck and my own personal cuddly toy wrapped around me from behind.

“
Uhm Deke?”

“
Hmm?”

“
You’re pokin’ me.”

“
Not yet baby, but play your cards right...”

I giggled and he nipped my earlobe before he jumped out of bed and gave a lion of a yawn, then he scratched his tummy.  Wow.  Deacon standing there in the early morning light, with bedhead and his hand on his tummy.  I wanted to eat him up with a spoon.  Instead, I got stupid.  I told you, I don’t start thinking until ten.

I lay there on my side giving him the crazy eyes and he stopped and cocked his head.

“
What?”

I smiled and said, “Mine”.

He grinned back and reached for the waistband of his boxers.

“
What are you doing?”

“
Getting ready to take a shower.  Why?”

I started blinking as all kinds of visuals flitted through my scrambled mind.

“
You’re gonna take those off in front of me?”

Playful Deacon made an appearance and I was in trouble.  Playful Deacon was my favorite Deacon.  Anton’s advice came back to me, and the devil on my shoulder was helping the angel cable tie him to a fence post in outer Mongolia somewhere.

“
Do you want me to take them off in front of you?”

That one stumped me.  Part of me wanted to say, “Well duh”, while the other part knew that if he did, I’d jump him.  Considering our history, that might not be the wisest thing to do before relationship negotiations took place.

Evidently I took too long to answer, because he winked and ambled toward the bathroom.

“
You’re not ready for that yet Dor’.  Slow the wheel down and feed the hamster.  I’ll be out in twenty.”

He entered the bathroom, but he didn’t close the door.  I wondered if it was because he was used to being alone in the mornings, or if it was because he was far more comfortable with our relationship than I was.  I personally think it was because the rat bastard was trying to make me crazy.  This particular rat bastard didn’t know me as well as he thought.  I was all about exploring new frontiers.

I heard the rustle of fabric and then he turned to get into the shower.  That’s when I saw a frontier that I was more than willing to map out.  In detail.  He stepped inside the glass enclosure and I heard the water start.  No time like the present.

I don’t know what I expected to happen, but once again, he surprised me.

I shed my two articles of clothing and placed them on the counter.  Then as casually as if I did this every day, I opened the shower door and stepped inside.  The water temperature was perfect.  There were so many shower heads that it didn’t matter where I stood, I was getting rained on with the right amount of pressure.

His eyes were huge and they’d gone that stormy gray color that made me go all soft and mushy.  He watched as I tilted my head back to soak my hair, but my eyes never left his.  Mine held a challenge, his held a promise.  His voice was hoarse and low when he finally managed to speak.

“
What are you doing Dorothy?”

“
My part for conservation.  Deacon, do you recycle?”

He started to do that blinking thing that I was well acquainted with, but on him, it looked like his circuits were frying.

“
Do I what?”

“
Recycle.  This is not physics Deacon.  Do you recycle?”

“
Yes.  What does that have to do with you standing naked in my shower within grabbing distance?”

“
Think of this like recycling.  We’re saving the planet by saving water.  Now hand me the shampoo please.”

He turned and reached for a tall brown bottle and placed it in my hand.  I poured a reasonable amount into my palm and handed it back.  He poured some as well and put it back on the shelf.

While we both stood there washing our hair, our eyes were devouring one another.  No sly peeks, no furtive glances, just out and out perusal of what was standing in front of each of us.  I took in every detail of his body at the same time he was taking in mine.

Was I embarrassed?  Not in the least.  I’d been working hard for the figure I was presenting and let’s face facts.  If we were going to be an “us”, at some point we were bound to see one another naked.  Why not get that little detail done and dusted right now?  Only his details weren’t exactly little, if you catch my drift.  If he wasn’t “Mine” before, he sure as shit was now.  Because at this moment, I’d beat Miranda to death with her own arms if she so much as shook his hand.  By the look he was giving me, I’d bet the royalties on my new book that he was feeling the same.

So I’ll bet you’re thinking, “Finally.  This is where he jumps her in a fit of passion”.  Right?  Wrong.  He waited until I’d rinsed my hair, and then he handed me the conditioner.  I took what I needed and handed it back.  He turned to face the nozzle closest to his head and ran his hands through his hair.

“
What’s on the agenda for today Dor’?”

Was he for real?  Okay, two could play at this game.

I reached around him for the soap that was conveniently located on the ledge very near his...umm...man parts.  As my arm brushed against him, he stiffened and stood perfectly still.  Dorothy one, Deacon, stunned.  I pulled back with the soap, purposely brushing against him again.  Then as nonchalantly as I could, I started soaping his back.

“
What are you doing Dorothy?”

He sounded strangely like that computer Hal in that movie.  I was so tempted to reply, “Making you crazy Hal”, but I refrained.

“
You already asked me that Deke.  I’m soaping your back.  Then I’m gonna soap my front.  When I’m done with that, you can soap my back if you want.”

He groaned and I grinned.  Mr. Powerful CEO had nothing on the power I could wield when I put my mind to it.  Or so I thought.

He turned around so fast I almost lost my balance.  The look in his eyes told me I’d pushed him to the edge and he was back in control.

He took the soap from my hands and twirled it between his hands until he had a healthy lather.  Then he reached behind me and placed it on a ledge.  I swallowed hard and took a step back but there was no retreat.  He took a step forward and closed the distance.

His hands moved over my slick body, exploring it in the name of cleanliness.  At least that’s what I kept telling myself.  Once he was satisfied that every inch of my breasts were sparkling clean, his hands moved lower and he watched my eyes for any signs of reticence.  As god is my witness, I had an out of body experience and I channeled some tart.  I leaned over, closed my eyes, and licked his chest from his sternum to his neck.  When I leaned back and opened my eyes, he narrowed his and his breathing changed.

I figured this was it, and nervousness took over.  He must have seen it or sensed it, because he slowed way down.  Oh he continued soaping up every nook and cranny (paying particular attention to my nooks and crannies mind you), and I stood rock still while he did it.  When he was satisfied that I’d pass a microscopic inspection for cleanliness, he picked up the soap and started soaping up himself.  I, was still blinking.  He had boldly gone where no man had gone before, and then changed the channel before the good part started.  I was stumped and the moment passed.

While we were both rinsing, I decided to address the horndog in the room.

“
Deacon, why did you stop just now.”

I didn’t have to explain myself, we both knew what I was talking about.

“
I stopped because you weren’t ready.”

“
What makes you think I wasn’t ready?”

“
You’re too nervous Dor’.  When you’re finally ready, you won’t be nervous, you’ll be...ready.”

He was right.  I’d have gone along with it willingly, but in the back of my mind I would have wondered if we should have talked first.  I would have over-thought it.  The more I got to know him, the more complex he became and the deeper I fell.  He was someone I wanted to know and that meant more to me than a hot shower scene after a night of cuddling.

I turned him around and pulled his face down for a kiss.  He pulled me flush against his body and we were all skin on skin and kissing each other senseless.  Something about this was far more intimate and satisfying than what could have happened and I was glad he’d taken control.

We were toweling off in the bathroom, and I couldn’t get over how comfortable we were being naked with one another.  This was an entirely new experience for me and it was one that I was enjoying.  I was with Hamm for two years and we never crossed into this kind of comfort zone.  We never showered together and at night when we’d climb into bed, we undressed in the dark and slipped under the covers.  It wasn’t an embarrassment thing, it was a habit that we started and never escaped from.  I liked THIS new habit much better.

“
You never answered my question Dor’.  What’s on the today’s agenda?”

I stood there as naked as the day I was born, putting toothpaste on the new toothbrush he’d handed me.

“
Promise you won’t laugh?”

He turned on the sink and winked at me in the mirror.

“
Honey I’d never laugh at a sexy naked lady standing in my bathroom.”

I grinned and continued.

“
I was serious last night Deke.  I think we should go into hiding until we’ve got this relationship ironed out.  I love you and I know that you love me...”

“
It’s true, I do.”

I smiled again at my good boy.  If he kept that up, I’d be getting over my “nervousness” in no time.

“
...but neither one of us appears to be any good at this long-term relationship thing.  I want that with you and I want to get it right.  We have to discuss trigger points and hard limits or we won’t last three minutes out there.  You’ve got too much of a history and I’ve got too hot of a temper.  How can we survive if we let everybody else push our buttons and all we do is react?  We have to find a way to get united on stuff.”

He was watching me closely as I spoke, hanging on every word I said.  When I stopped, I leaned over and began to brush my teeth.

“
No wonder you’re a writer.  That was a perfect description of exactly how things need to be.  I’m with you one hundred percent babe.  Where do you want to sequester ourselves?”

I spit and rinsed and then patted my mouth with my towel.

“
Does anyone have a key to this place?”

“
Just you.  No one else.”

“
Then here.  Melody and my folks have keys to mine and come and go as they please.  No one can get to us here.  It’s better if they decide to plan a siege.”

He laughed and looked at me.

“
A siege?  You think they’ll try to find us?”

“
You think they won’t?  I’ll bet you fifty bucks right now that I’ve got at least ten messages on my voice mail from people wondering what happened last night.  By now, my family knows about the scene on the dance floor, and I’ll bet another fifty that there are photos floating around of the whole damned thing.”

He wrapped the towel around his waist and turned to go into the bedroom.

“
Hamm isn’t that important Dor’.”

“
Hamm’s not, but you are.”

That stopped him.  He turned slowly and tilted his head.

“
Explain.”

“
Let me make it simple.  Does this headline sound plausible to you?  ‘Millionaire Bad Boy Stakes Claim’.  Or how about,  ‘Lone Wolf CEO Fights For Mate’.”

“
That’s just tacky.”

“
Oh I agree, but I think it could be worse.  The press were there covering the event last night and they can be brutal when they smell a story.  We need newspapers and I need clothes for the week.  How do you want to handle it?”

He thought for a minute and I saw “Eureka” when it hit.

“
I’ll go to your place and pack a bag for you.  If Mel’s there, she won’t mess with me and I won’t tell her anything.  You head out for the paper and groceries.  If we’re staying here, we’ll need food.  I think I’ve got a can of spaghetti and some beer.”

I followed him into the bedroom and slipped back into my pajamas to wait for my clothes.