“He’s gone.” She sniffed, knowing she looked ridiculous, but not able to do anything about it. “I thought I’d get a chance to explain.”
Too late.
Chapter 33
‡
H
IS SKIN FELT
too tight, stretched impossibly thin, as if his limbs would come flying from his body. The pressure was too much. He had to get away.
It was all too familiar. The meeting in the office brought him back to the day he found out Janie had cheated. He couldn’t go through it again. The past memories sat in his gut, and the whole contaminated cesspool of emotions was rising to the surface. He felt the bile bubbling in his throat. So many months had been spent pushing the toxic emotions back, shoving them down, down deep, where he wouldn’t have to see them, feel them, or acknowledge them.
His main priority the first six months after his divorce had been keeping the anger at bay, trying to numb the feelings. The past year had been easier, but only because he refused to think about it. He’d kept busy, taken every shift available, anything to avoid the problem. Now he wouldn’t even have that sanctuary anymore. The fucking prick who had slept with his wife would be working his engine.
He had a death grip on the steering wheel, his knuckles going white as he peeled out of the small parking lot in the back of the school. The image of his ex’s new boyfriend superimposed itself on the face of the prick he’d met this afternoon. Rage blossomed and made him see red. The car swerved, and he saw the startled eyes of the woman in oncoming traffic.
Green eyes that reminded him of Caelen.
His heart contracted as he pulled into a fast food parking lot. Breathing heavily, he realized he’d been thinking about everything but Caelen. His anger and his love for her couldn’t occupy the same space in his mind, canceling each other out like a matter/anti-matter explosion.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to relieve the pressure building in his brain. The high pitched ring of his cell snapped him out of it, and he almost threw it out the window. No caller ID. He let it go to voicemail. But just as soon as it stopped, the ring started all over again. Same number. Three times in a row.
Probably work telling him to come in and “talk” things out with the new firefighter. The new crewmate that had been
fucking
his ex-wife. He slammed his open palm against the steering wheel over and over again, caught in a rage. The phone went off
again
.
No way to avoid the inevitable.
“What?”
“Dare?”
At first he didn’t recognize the voice. The only thing registering in his frenzied brain, not Caelen. “Who is this?”
“It’s Brynn.” The soft tone registered just as she said her name.
He took a deep breath and tried, unsuccessfully, to dial it back. Brynn had nothing to do with any of this. “Yeah. Hey. Everything okay?” It suddenly occurred to him that he’d left them alone with that raging lunatic. But he couldn’t, just couldn’t, face Caelen right now.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. Willem took off right after Dacey lit into him. Did you hear that part?”
“No. Must have missed that.” He squeezed the heel of his palm between his eyes, smack against the ridge of his nose, trying to relieve the ache. “Look, if there’s nothing urgent then I’m going to let you go.”
“No. You can’t hang up.”
“No?” If it’d come from anyone other than her, he wouldn’t have been surprised. “No” had been the word of the day in his childhood, but from sweet Brynn? He blew out a breath, praying for patience. “I don’t really want to talk right now.”
“I do. I want to talk about Caelen.”
The silence hung between them. He gritted his teeth in frustration. “Well, I
don’t
. Goodbye.”
“You are being a complete asshole about this. You know that, right? And when you finally calm down and figure this all out, it’s going to be too late, and you’re going to lose her. Don’t bother calling me back if that happens.”
“Call you back?” The question was met by a dial tone.
She. Hung. Up
.
Damn it all to hell
. He was sick and tired of dealing with Calvo women and their shit! Games. Always playing games. As if he would call her back.
But he couldn’t escape her words.
You’ll lose her… Too late…
He growled in frustration as the past mixed with the present: the moron, Janie’s boyfriend, Caelen responding to him, making love to him… He slammed the car into gear, when his phone rang. Again.
Same number.
“What?”
“Hi.”
“Think we covered that part already. Then you
hung up
on me. After calling me an asshole.”
“Believe it or not, I hung up by accident, even though the timing was perfect. Was it enough time for you to have your ‘come to Jesus’ moment?”
“How am I the one who has to come to any realizations? She—She—” He couldn’t finish the sentence, couldn’t even say Caelen’s name.
“Did nothing to you.”
“How can you say that?”
“She did
not
cheat on you. You weren’t together. We hadn’t seen you since high school! It’s been ten
years.”
He snapped his mouth shut and steamed. He wanted to scream back:
she should have known! She should have waited for me.
But that’d make him sound like a complete douche.
“Look, I know you went through a rough time with the divorce.”
“Not going there. Ever.”
“Fair enough. I just want to make sure you’re not confusing one relationship with the other.”
Silence.
“Caelen is not your ex. Did my sister make any promises she didn’t keep?”
“No.”
“Are you even in a relationship with her?”
Caelen’s soft skin and deep moans were etched in his memory for all time. This morning had felt like a commitment. Unable to face the real answer to that question, he answered, “That’s none of your business.”
“Did she even talk to Victor
once
while you were seeing her?”
“How the hell should I know?”
“Dare.”
“I don’t want to talk about it!”
She sighed, deep and long. “Then I’ll talk. Will you give me a minute? Will you listen to me? I’m not going to explain what happened between them. I don’t know the details, thank God. That’s Caelen’s story to tell. All I want to do is remind you about her, from when we were kids.”
Dare pulled back into a parking spot, not yet turning off the car, but unwilling to get a ticket because he was blocking the exit.
“Our dad was never…” She sighed, but continued. “Did Caelen ever tell you my mom used to love to sing The Temptations’s “Papa was a Rolling Stone”?
“Not really. Why?”
“Well, because… he was. And although we loved him, we just—We couldn’t—”
“Count on him.” He knew Brynn was having a tough time bringing up old memories.
“I think it affected us all, but in really different ways. Caelen was always the one with a boyfriend, and God, they were all such jerks.”
He cleared his throat. “I remember.”
“It was her messed-up relationship with Bobby, back in high school, that set the stage. He made her believe she wasn’t good enough, didn’t deserve a decent guy.”
He went hot again. He should’ve beaten Bobby the next day, and the next, to make him pay for hurting Caelen.
“And Victor, he was the worst of all. He made her feel… He just—Damn, I promised not to go into it. Just give her a chance, Dare. I think you’d be surprised what you find out. She’s really upset you left.” The last words were spoken softly, and he knew it took a lot for her to confess the last piece of information. All of the sisters were extremely protective of each other.
“She broke my heart.”
His temper rose with each word. He couldn’t bear to see her, after all these years, after everything they’d been through…
“No, Dare. Your ex-wife broke your heart! I heard what she did, and I know you haven’t dated anyone since. Get your shit in order and come talk to my sister, before you make the biggest mistake of your life.”
The truth hit him like a ton of brinks. It hadn’t been years, it had been four days. He was allowing his memories of Janie to take over, bleed into all aspects of his life. His fury with her, which had dovetailed onto today’s train wreck, was clouding his judgment, not allowing him to think clearly.
“I gotta go.”
“Sorry I was so harsh. But I’m rooting for you, so fix this.”
Dare didn’t bother to answer, still too furious to appreciate the vote of confidence.
“Bye, Dare. And good luck.”
The engine still hummed, and in two seconds flat the car was in gear, and he was headed back up the main drag. Time to figure some shit out.
Chapter 34
‡
C
AELEN AND
B
RYNN
held the ends of a large rectangular sign, slowly unrolling the canvas announcing the time and place of the classes this evening. Dacey had wanted the sign to read, “Blowjobs: Blow by Blow,” but Caelen had vetoed the idea. Instead, it read, “Charm School After Dark.”
Shaky and slightly light-headed, Caelen was determined to keep going. No time for thinking, no time for crying or running to her phone and begging Dare for forgiveness. She had no defense. She’d had an affair with a married man, and if he couldn’t handle it, then they couldn’t be together. Period. End of story.
So why did her heart feel like it’d been removed with an ice pick? The whole thing must be connected to Victor. No way, these strong feelings had developed for Dare in four days.
You’ve known him since you were thirteen years old. Been a little in love with him since then.
Sighing in frustration, she ignored the inner monologue, having absolutely no faith in her own judgment. Otherwise, she never would have gotten involved with Victor in the first place.
“Brynn, I’m missing one of the steel rods we need to push in the sign.”
“I must have left it inside.” Brynn paused. Without looking, Caelen could feel her sister’s gaze burning a hole into her back. It held warmth and kindness, but if Brynn uttered one sympathetic word, she would scream. She couldn’t take it. Not right now. But it was no surprise when she heard her sister say, “I have to tell you something.”
Nope. Do not have the capacity to handle another piece of news
. “Not right now. I can only take one thing at a time, and the ‘one thing’ I’m focusing on is the sign!” So much to do. She only had one hour left before she’d stand in front of a room full of women, armed with a dildo and a smile. After that? She somehow had to fend off the multibillionaire, long lost, forgotten grandson who’d decided her little charm school was his legacy.
“Okay, but…” Brynn sighed and turned away. “I’ll run in and get the post.”
Caelen struggled with the canvas, her attention caught by screeching tires. A familiar black Jeep revved down the block, passing Caelen by in a puff of smoke, and then executing a balls-to-the-wall, semi-circle smack in the middle of the street that had Caelen’s heart in her throat.
She knew the car, the man, and the hurt that lay behind the crazy driving. Caelen approached the car cautiously. There were no windows or doors on the Jeep. The massive tires brought her to eye level as she stepped closer to speak to him through the window. Her chest felt tight, her fingers numb. It was possible she hadn’t taken a breath since he’d gotten there. Forcing air through her lungs was the most she could accomplish. Her mind was a blank; she had no idea what to say.
Dare looked a sexy mess. His hair was rumpled, his shirt bunched around his arms and chest, à la The Incredible Hulk. But his eyes, they looked opaque, hard, almost dead. “I’m keeping my promise. You said you wanted to talk. So talk.”
“Can’t we go inside? Talk in private?”
He didn’t shout, but he might as well have, his whole body was screaming at her, yet he faced forward, refusing to look at her. “I’m staying in the car. You have five minutes. Make it good.”
“What?” Automatically, without thought, her mood matched his. So did her tone. Yes, she wanted him in her life. Yes, he had every right to be mad, but he expected her to explain out here in the street? “Five minutes? That’s all I get? How generous of you.”
“Yes, damn it. I have
plans.”
“Plans? With who?” What the hell had happened to all the men in her life? They’d all gone officially insane, and suspiciously it always seemed to happen on these front steps. Or when Dare was in his Jeep.
“None of your business.”
“Then why’d you bring it up? You’re the one who drove here. To talk to
me.”
“Just tell me this.” He spoke through clenched teeth as he said, “Is it true?”
A thousand responses raced through her mind, she actually felt the words with her body. She wanted to explain, tell him she’d been duped, but she knew that she’d been a willing participant, had turned a blind eye. She wanted total honesty. No more lies or secrets. She just couldn’t live that way any longer. The tears pooled, creating a slow burn at the back of her lids. She blinked them back and answered, “Yes.”
He closed his eyes, briefly, and pounded on the steering wheel, three times in a row, with brutal force. “I gotta go.”
Caelen felt numb. Here she had Dare in front of her, and she wasn’t taking advantage of the opportunity. What was wrong with her? She should be begging him to give her a chance. But she wanted brutal honesty, and she wanted Dare to want her enough to ask for details. She also knew in her heart of hearts that she hadn’t betrayed Dare, she’d betrayed herself. If they’d been together, cheating would never have been an issue. All she managed to say was, “It was before we met.”
“So?”
“So? So, it wasn’t anything personal against you!” Her voice shook, but thankfully no tears fell. She was sick to death of tears.
“I can’t handle this.”
“You can’t handle it? Tough. I deserve a chance to explain.”
“I’m out.” In two seconds flat, he was gone. The dark tiretracks burned into the pavement were the only proof he’d ever been there.