Chase: Black Bear Outlaws #2 (Mating Fever) (5 page)

Except when I opened the door, I was breathless. There he was, leaning against the doorframe as handsome as ever, holding a single sunflower. “Hi,” I said shyly, pushing the screen door open to let him in. “You’re prompt.”

He took a moment to study me, his eyes turning as molten as molasses. When he spoke, his words came out as more of a growl. “I’m a little on the hungry side.”

“Okay,” I swallowed, trying to keep myself from jumping him. Damn him and his not-so-bad-boy tattoos and sculpted muscles. He was every woman’s fantasy.
But my reality
, a small voice said inside my head.

I was in serious trouble. “Let me just grab some shoes and we can get out of here. Where did you want to eat?” I asked, backing up toward my bedroom.

“Here.” He moved forward, his eyes boring into mine as if I were prey.

Electric currents of panic mixed with sheer excitement shot through my veins, and I froze, staring at him like a deer in the headlights.

He crossed the room, closing the distance between us. But when he reached me, he didn’t touch me. There weren’t any kisses. All he did was stare down at me as if waiting for something.

I took a step back, unable to think with him so near.

“Where are you going, Kitty?” His voice was rough, full of anticipation.

I cleared my throat. “I think we should go to dinner. It’s better if we talk first.”

“Is that where you’re going to explain why you bolted the last time we were together?”

“What?” I frowned. “No, I—”

“So you’re saying you didn’t bolt?” The incredulity in his tone made my guilt ratchet up a hundred percent.

“Yes, I did. But—”

“And you weren’t going to tell me why? For God’s sake, Katrina, do you have any idea what it does to a bear when he’s found his mate, but knows he can’t have her?” He took a step back and was no longer looking at me like he wanted to devour me. There were only hints of the pain I’d caused and ripples of confusion.

“Yes,” I said very quietly as I stared at my swollen toes. “I am aware. That’s why I left you the note.”

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. “This note? The one that said you enjoyed our evening but couldn’t get involved with another man?”

“Well, yeah.” I frowned and brushed past him, wishing there was somewhere to sit other than the floor. “You know what happened with my ex.”

He shoved the note back in his pocket and took a deep breath. “Your ex wasn’t your mate.”

“I know that.”

“
I am
.”

“I know that, too,” I said, willing my heart to stop pounding against my ribcage.

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Is that why you came back?”

It would be so easy to say yes. To use that as my excuse, let him mate with me. But I couldn’t do that to him. Not without giving him a choice. “Not exactly.”

He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. It was as if my honesty had cost him something.

“Chase, listen—”

He held up his hand and shook his head. “No, Kitty. I don’t want to hear any more right now. I have something to say.”

That caught my attention. “All right. I’m listening.”

He paced a few steps in my living room, as if gathering his thoughts. Then he lifted his head and said, “I know we barely know each other. I understand you had a shitty marriage, and the last thing you’d want to do is jump right into another relationship. Intellectually, I understand it all. But we both know that mating doesn’t work that way. Have you ever known mated pairs who were happy being apart?”

I shook my head. It was why I’d never intended to stay away forever.

“And yet, you left. Didn’t leave a number, didn’t call, and I’m not entirely sure I believe you when you said you were going to call me tonight. What I don’t understand is why? Did I do something to scare you? Is it my past?”

The genuine confusion and hurt in his expression gutted me. I’d planned to call, had every intention to and then...shit. What had I done?

I moved, taking tentative steps, and then laced my fingers through his, much like he had earlier in the day, and tugged him out onto the front porch. I waved a hand at the steps. “Sit with me?”

He pressed his lips together in a thin line, but obliged my request.

“First of all, I want to start by saying you’ve been great. I left for me. To figure out my own crap before I dove head first into something with you. I needed to clear my head.” I let out a humorless laugh, realizing how stupid I’d been. “That didn’t turn out so well. Even when I manage to drown out my thoughts, you were still right here.” I placed my free hand over my heart.

He reached out and trailed his fingers over mine. “You have no idea how much I appreciate knowing that.”

“I can imagine,” I said, a fresh wave of guilt washing over me. But I pushed it aside and met his eyes, hoping my sincerity was clear in mine. “I’ve known about your past for years. I’d be surprised if there was a clan member who didn’t. Besides, the reason Melinda hired your security firm that week after I left my husband is because she knew you weren’t afraid to get your hands dirty if you needed to.”

A low chuckle escaped his lips as he shook his head. “That explains it. I was wondering why the Greysons deigned to hire the Doucet boys.”

Still holding his hand, I stroked his fingers with my thumb. “Your reputation precedes you.”

“And it doesn’t bother you at all?” There was a challenge in his tone. He really wanted to know the truth.

“No. That was then. You were a kid. You did what your dad told you, and when the shit hit the fan, all three of you changed. Not everyone has the strength to do that. You did. I admire you for it.”

“You should know I wasn’t forced to boost those cars,” he said, staring straight ahead. “It was a rush, you know.”

I was silent for a long moment. “I bet. But it was still what you grew up with. And something you never should’ve been exposed to. Would you ever let your own child live that life?”

A muscle pulsed in his jaw. Then he said, “I don’t plan on having kids.”

Pain seized my heart and suddenly it was hard to breathe. “Ever?” I forced out.

“I’m sorry if that upsets you,” he said by way of answer.

“It does, and if that’s your final decision, I think we’re going to have an issue.”

That pulse was flickering in his jaw again. “Are you saying if I don’t want kids, you’ll leave again?”

“No.” I let go of his hand, and clasped mine together in front of me.

“Katrina—” he started.

“Chase, I’m pregnant.”

M
y entire body went numb, and my ears started to buzz. The word pregnant echoed in my mind. Memories of my mother crying on the floor while my father screamed at her for forgetting to do his laundry came roaring back. Cole, still a toddler at the time, had been whimpering nearby and quickly became the target of my father’s wrath.

Only a few years older, but old enough to understand what was happening, I’d thrown myself between them, determined to save my brother from whatever punishment the old man was doling out. Usually a backhand to the face, but he’d been known to use his belt; the buckle end, on occasion.

That night, he’d stopped just short of rearranging my nose, and instead, had taken me under his tutelage as one of his employees at the chop shop. It had been the worst and best day of my life. Both for the same reason: It was the first time my father had actually taken an interest in me. One that had ultimately gotten me shot at and almost killed.

“Chase?” Katrina asked. “Did you hear what I said?”

I glanced at her, not really seeing her at all and nodded. “Pregnant.”

“That’s right. And it’s yours, just in case there was any question. I haven’t been with anyone else.”

I jerked my head in her direction and growled, “It had damned well better me mine.”

She held up her hands in a
whoa
motion. “No need to get all alpha bear on me. I was just clarifying in case there was any confusion.”

“Confusion?” I stood and paced the small porch. “Yeah, I have confusion. How did this happen? We were careful. I remember—” He stopped talking abruptly, making it clear his memory had kicked in. “The last time.”

She nodded. “It must’ve been. I was going to take the Plan B pill, even stopped at the drug store to get it. Then when I finally got to my aunt’s house in Georgia, I just...couldn’t. I don’t know. It’s not like I was dying to have a child. In fact, at that moment it was the last thing I wanted. But when I thought about you, about our night together, the fact that you’re my mate, the idea of possibly ending something—someone—we’d created was out of the question.”

I heard what she’d said, but wasn’t ready to process any of it. “How long have you known?”

She bit down on her bottom lip as one lone tear rolled down her cheek. “Three weeks.”

“Three fucking weeks,” I said to myself. “Three weeks I’ve been damn near pining for you while you kept this from me?”

“I...” She’d opened her mouth, but no more words were coming.

“Forget it, Katrina,” I said angrily. “The best thing you could’ve done was take that pill.”  Then I strode off the porch, down the steps, and straight to my truck, never once glancing back.

***

“Y
ou want to talk about it?” Cole asked after an hour of silence.

We were in the office, a rarity for both of us. Usually, we worked from home or out in the field. He appeared to be doing paperwork. I was playing solitaire.

“Nope,” I answered and clicked the mouse.

“At least explain why you’re here. I’m certain your home computer would be sufficient for your online gaming addiction.”

I leaned back in the chair and placed my feet up on my desk. “I was tired of looking at the same four walls.”

Cole picked up his coffee mug and took a long sip. “Seems to me you’re hiding out.”

“From who, the mailman?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a certain brunette who’s asked about you all three times I’ve seen her since Sunday.”

I quickly glanced at the wall calendar. It was only Tuesday. “You’ve been running into Katrina?” Even the sound of her name coming from my lips was painful. Had it only been four days since she’d laid the news on me? It felt like a lifetime.

“At the pub. Since she’s been working night and day to get her fitness center up and running, she’s been stopping in there for food. She’s more of a regular than I am.”

“I see,” was all I managed to say. Though I wanted to ask how she looked, if she was doing okay, if she’d told him the news. That last part wasn’t likely. If he knew, he’d have already grilled me about it.

“She’s set to open next week. The pool won’t be ready, but everything else should be in place,” Cole added.

“That’s good. She should be settled before—” I cleared my throat, not sure how to finish that statement.

“Before the baby comes?” he asked, his tone matter-of-fact.

I jerked my feet off the desk and sat up straight. “How did you know about that?”

“Claire ran into her at the doctor’s office.” He put his pen down and fixed me with a pointed stare. “How long are you going to give her the cold shoulder?”

“I’m not—”

“Yes you are. You do realize it takes two to make a cub, right?”

“Shut up,” I barked. “What do you know about it anyway?”

His lips twitched into a smug smile. “I’ve been taught the birds and the bees. I’m pretty sure I have the basics down.”

“Don’t be an ass.” I grabbed my keys, intending to retreat back to my house where no one would be interfering in my business.

“You’re the one being an ass. Seriously, Chase, what the fuck is wrong with you? Last week you were grumpy as shit because you thought she was never coming back. And this week you’re ignoring her. She’s here. Back because of you. If you don’t get your shit together, she’s going to leave again.”

“She won’t leave. Her business is here,” I said sullenly.

“You’re an idiot.”

There was no doubt about that. He didn’t need to fill me in. I was well aware. The last four days I’d been in a constant state of flux, one half of me dying to go find her, to make our mating official, and move her into my house ASAP. The other half was wound so tight with fear and anxiousness, it left me completely paralyzed. Kids? I had no idea how to be a father. My own had been a first-rate bastard with more issues than a three-legged whore.

“How would you handle it?” I asked abruptly.

Cole’s piercing blue eyes, exactly like our mother’s, flashed with irritation. “I sure as hell wouldn’t hide out for a week and make my mate feel like she’s to blame.”

That brought me up short. “I don’t blame her.”

“Really? You didn’t tell her she should’ve taken that morning-after pill right before you peeled out of her driveway?”

Had I said that? I barely remembered our conversation. I’d been so shocked, so blindsided, that all I could really remember was the absolute terror I’d felt when she’d dropped the bomb on me. “I...
fuck
. I guess I did say that. But I didn’t mean it was her fault. I was taken by surprise.”

His eyebrows rose halfway up his forehead. “How else was she supposed to take it?”

I leaned against the edge of my bankers desk and closed my eyes. “Dammit, Cole. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do about any of this. You know I never wanted to be a father.”

“Seems like it’s too late for that, buddy,” he said, not unkindly.

“Yeah. Guess so.”

He rose from his chair and came to stand beside me, mirroring my stance with his arms crossed over his chest. After a while, he spoke. “You have to let it go.”

“Let what go? My child?” The very thought of that made me ill. Would I really walk away from Katrina and my son or daughter? I knew deep down that was out of the question. She was mine.
They
were mine.

They
.

The word shifted something inside me. Whatever happened going forward, they were my future. That was clear. I just hadn’t been able to see past my own fucked-up history.

“Your child?” Cole finally asked as he stared at me like I’d lost my mind. “Fuck, no. I was referring to that living hell of a childhood we had. With Mom drinking a bottle of wine with dinner every night, and Dad slapping her around every time the wind blew the wrong direction. It’s enough to mindfuck just about anyone. But you aren’t him, and Katrina certainly isn’t her.”