Chased by a Stranger (Craved Series #3) (6 page)

The sense of
loss I felt was overwhelming.

And it wasn’t
just that I lost the chance to explain myself to Audrey. I also lost the
potential for what might have been with her and the peace of mind I would’ve
gained from being able to see her face and know she was okay.

It killed me that
she might think my not showing up was a reflection of my feelings for her. And
it was weird how upset I was. Frankly, I was irritated from the moment I knew
that I wasn't going to make the date, but I pushed it to the back of my mind so
I could look after my Dad and Tip. 

But I was
livid now. 

And the rage
bubbling up in me was my first clue that this wasn't just some girl I'd hooked
up with. Lord knows I let them leave all the time without saying goodbye and
didn't bat an eyelid.

But this time
was different. 

This time it
felt more like the way I'd felt in previous relationships after a fight-
unsettled, like everything was up in the air. And I was anxious to know where
all the shit was going to land. 

But it wasn't
going to land. There would be no shit to go through. Audrey would touch down in
Seattle in the next twenty four hours and she would either think of me or not, and
there was nothing I could do about it. 

Though beating
the crap out of my Dad offered a strange appeal. Of course, I'd never be able
to do half as good a job as he did on his own so I didn't see the point. 

Plus, as much
as I wanted to blame him for this, I knew better. I was too old to blame my
parents for my own mistakes, and I was the one who fucked up, the one who let
the most amazing woman I ever met slip through my fingers. 

Tip knew
something was wrong, but I wasn’t giving anything away. Though I trusted her
implicitly, I didn't want her to be the one that communicated my hurt to my Dad
when the time came. 

And it would
come. 

He'd crossed a
line that he could never uncross, and as far as I was concerned, it was
decision time. Either I could spend the rest of my life trying to keep him out
of trouble- which was easier said than done- or I could make a change.

But if I
continued to let my misplaced loyalty to him trump the other relationships I
had in my life, then it would be the only one I'd ever have. And someday, I'd
look back and realize I sacrificed everything that could've been for a front
row seat to my Dad drinking himself to death and pissing his life away. 

And that
wasn't something I even wanted to watch.

It was
difficult to even look at him as he laid there hooked up to all the machines
while dozens of people fought for his life, a life he had no appreciation for.

So as soon as
Tip came back with some coffee, I told her I had to go take care of some stuff
and insisted she call me if she needed anything. 

Then I went
outside and called Jin.

"Jack,"
he said, his voice cracking as if my name was his first word of the day. 

"You
going to muay thai today?" I asked. 

"What day
is it?"

"Friday."

"Yes,"
he said. "You want to come?"

"Yeah,"
I said. “I do.” I desperately needed to get some energy out and the few times
I'd joined him were absolutely exhausting. 

"I'll
pick you up on my way."

"I'm
actually at the hospital. Can you swing by here?"

"The
hospital?"

"Yeah."

"Are you
okay?"

"I'm
fine."

"Is it
your Dad?"

I let the
question hang in the air for a second before answering. "Yeah, he had
an accident last night."

"Is he
okay?"

"He's
fine," I said, feeling ashamed that I almost wish he wasn't, that instead
of coming away with nothing but a broken leg he was beat up badly enough that
he might have to take a long hard look at himself. "Unfortunately, my bike
didn't make it out alive so I'm going to need that ride."

"Shit."

"I
know."

"I'm so
sorry, Jack."

"Me too,
Jin," I said. "But would you mind keeping it on the down low for now?
The fewer people that know the better." I looked around. A few nurses were
smoking in front of the hospital doors, but no one was remotely interested in
my conversation. 

"Of
course," Jin said. "I understand."

"I'm not
sure yet how much legal trouble he might be in." I ran my hand through my
hair. "Anyway, I'll tell you all about it when you pick me up." 

"Okay,"
he said. "See you soon."

I hung up the
phone and looked at it. 

If only I’d
called my Mom back before all this happened. Unfortunately, she loved a big
catch up and the two topics she was most interested in were the state of my
Dad's alcoholism and my love life. And it seemed a shame to call her when I had
no good news for her on either front. 

But seeing as
how the day was already a disaster, I figured I better let her know what was
going on. 

She picked up
on the second ring. 

"Hello."

"Hey Mom.
Sorry I didn't call you back sooner."

"Who is
this?"

I rolled my
eyes. "It's Jack, your only son."

"Oh
yeah," she said. "I thought I had a son, but he never called me so I
thought I imagined the whole thing."

I knew that
inspiring guilt was one of her strong suits, but this time she’d be hard pressed
to make me feel any worse than I already did.

"I said I
was sorry, and I'm extra sorry because I can't talk for too long now, but I
just wanted to call so you would know what happened." 

"What do
you mean so I would know? Are you okay?"

"I'm
fine," I said. "But Dad's been in an accident."

I could
practically hear her shaking her head on the other end of the phone. 

"He's
okay. Just some bruises and a broken leg. He's being looked after in the
hospital.”

"How did
that happe-"

"He
crashed my motorcycle."

"Why was
he riding your mo-"

"Cause he
took it without asking."

"Jesus,
Jack."

"I don't
want you to worry," I said, knowing I was asking the impossible.
"Everything is going to be fine."

"Do you
want me to come out there?"

I smiled for
the first time all morning, grateful for the offer even if she didn't really
mean it. "No," I said. "There's no need. You stay put."

"Are you
sure?" she asked. "I really don't mind."

"I’m sure.
Everything's under control."

"It's
actually better if I kill him, Jack. I've lived a good life, but you're still a
young man. I'd rather they threw me behind bars and-"

"I
appreciate the offer, Mom, but seeing as how he’s just barely managed to avoid
killing himself this time, I'm going to give him one more chance to turn things
around."

"That's
what you always say."

"I
know," I said, Audrey's face flashing through my mind. "But this time
I mean it."

"Are you
sure you don't want me to come out there?" she asked. "Then we could
have a proper family intervention."

"Yeah… As
much fun as that sounds, I'd really rather handle this myself."

"Okay."

"What
else is new with you?"

Jin pulled up
as if on cue, his face so full of worry he looked like he’d been listening
in. 

"I can't
talk now, Mom. I just wanted to fill you in."

"When can
you talk?"

"I don't
know. Soon. I'll call you."

"You always
say that and then you nev-"

"I
promise," I said. 

"Okay,”
she said. “Thanks for calling.”

I hung up and
approached Jin's bike, shaking my head the whole time. 

"You
okay?" he asked. "You look like someone just died."

"It's
Audrey," I said. "I let her get away."

I knew I had
no right to pout. 

I just went on
a glorious holiday to a gorgeous part of the world where I'd seen and done some
amazing things. My muscles felt relaxed, my skin had a refreshing tightness
brought on by my days in the sun, and I even managed to lose a few pounds despite
drinking every day and stuffing my face every night.

And yet, as
the air hostess passed me an uninspiring packet of "baked snack
crackers" in a bag so small I don't know why they even bothered packaging
up the contents, I couldn't help but feel like the trip could've been
more. 

Or more
accurately, that more could've happened between me and Jack. 

Not that I
could complain about it. I was the one that hadn't let him in, thereby ensuring
that the whole ordeal- whatever it was- lacked any closure it might've had.

And I didn’t
regret it. I just wished he'd shown up the night before like he said he
would. 

Perhaps that
was why I had a sour taste in my mouth. Because the whole trip had been pleasantly
surprising up to that point. And then, suddenly, I was let down, humiliated,
and severely underwhelmed. It seemed like such a pathetic climax to an
otherwise happy story, and the only way to describe how I felt on the plane was
“blah.”

And to make
matters worse, I was flying back home to a place where my job and dating
prospects were as grim as the weather. 

Still, I was
doing my best to put on a brave face. After all, in many ways, it was the
holiday of a lifetime and one I would never forget. So who did I think I was
feeling sorry for myself?

Plus, I didn't
want Megan to feel bad. Then again, how could she? She was too busy watching
Frozen on her personal TV monitor and was the biggest Elsa fan over age
twelve. 

Meanwhile
there I was, not letting it go. 

I opened my
baked snack crackers and ate half the package- or more specifically- three of
them. Then I scrolled through the movies on offer. 

Rom Com's were
out. I was in no mood to watch something that was guaranteed to have a happy
ending when I was sulking over the absence of my own. And I hated horror films.
My life had been scary enough lately without going out of my way to feel disturbed. 

I didn't want
to watch anything with Matthew McConaughey either, which ruled out half the
films on offer. I don't know why. Normally I liked him, but something about his
shade of tan and his blue eyes made me feel… sick. 

Megan reached
up and paused her screen, pushing her headphones back on her head as she turned
to me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah,"
I lied. "Fine. Why?"

"Is it
Jack?"

"No. What
are you talking about?"

"You
haven't picked a movie yet."

"So.
There are a lot of choices. Maybe too many."

"I
know," she said. "That's exactly my point."

"What
is?"

"You're
always indecisive when you're depressed."

"What? No
I'm not."

"Yes you
are," she said. "It's why you overbuy ice cream when you're sad.
Cause you never know what flavor you want when you don't feel like
anything."

"I'm not
indecisive."

"Whatever,"
she said. "I know better than to try and talk you out of your allowable sulking
time, but before you pout for the next fifteen hours, maybe you should consider
changing your perspective."

"I'm
listening," I said. My eyes darted around to see if anyone was listening,
but apparently we were surrounded by very decisive people who knew exactly what
they wanted to watch. 

"Well,
let's say he had shown up last night."

"Yeah."

"How
would this moment be any different?"

"Well, I
would be sexually satisfied instead of frustrated for one."

"You'll
be home to your vibrator soon enough."

My eyes
flashed wide. Were you even allowed to say that word on planes? "And I
wouldn't feel like a hideous reject."

She laughed in
my face. "First of all, you're not a hideous reject. If you recall, despite
what happened last night, he came crawling back this morning. Have you
forgotten that?"

"No."

"That
means you won."

I let my head
fall back against my seat. "I don't feel like a winner."

"That's
because your emotions aren’t rational. If I were you, I'd be delighted just
knowing that I got under his skin enough to leave an impression."

"I don't
know."

"Seriously,
in a way I envy you."

It was my turn
to laugh. "For what?"

"A week
from now, Matteo won't even remember my name, much less what I look like."

"That's
not true."

"Trust
me, it is," she said. "But I don't mind cause I was using him,
too."

"Maybe."

"No I was,"
she insisted. "But that's okay because even love that isn't true gives you
something fun to do."

"I
suppose."

"And
didn't you have fun with Jack?"

"Yeah."

"And wasn't
the whole point of the trip to get away and do something fun- or someone- if we
were really lucky?"

"I
suppose."

"So why
can't you just be happy that you had a fling with a sexy millionaire in a
beautiful place and that the relationship ended before you ever had to see his
skid marks."

"I don't
think Jack's the kind of guy who has skid marks."

"Don't be
ridiculous. Of course he does. And it's just an analogy, Audrey. I'm not
accusing him of leaving shit stains-"

I
winced. 

"-in his
boxers," she said, lowering her voice when the woman in front of us turned
and looked through the seats at us. "All I'm saying is he's not perfect. And
if you keep putting him up on this pedestal like he's the one that got away,
you're going to make yourself crazy."

I nodded. 

"Everything
happens for a reason," she said. "You need to believe that and not
question it."

"I do
believe it.”

"Good.
Cause how you met him was totally fortuitous, right?"

"It was,
yeah."

"So just
trust that things ended the way they were supposed to as well."

"Maybe you’re
right."

"Like I
know we're at that age where we're supposedly wasting our time if we spend it with
a man who isn't potentially going to put a ring on it, but that doesn't apply
to what happens on vacation."

I pursed my
lips. 

"You met
a guy. You had a great time. The end," she said. "You know yourself
there's rarely a happily ever after. The fact that you were happy during your
time together is a gift. You should cherish it, not regret it."

"I
know."

"Besides,
what's done is done. It's too late to change anything now so just smile because
it happened and all that."

"I
suppose it is better to have loved and lost."

"There
you go. That's the spirit."

"Thanks,"
I said, forcing a pitiful smile. 

"Did that
not help at all? Do you really not feel any better?"

"No,"
I lied. "I do. You're right. I should forget about it. It was fun while it
lasted, and that was the whole point. If anything, it was probably the most
successful relationship I've had in years."

"It
wasn't a relationship, Audrey. It was three dates. It was a fling. Who knows? Maybe
the whole reason Jack came into your life was to keep you from getting blood
poisoning from that coral and the rest was just an awesome bonus."

I
nodded. 

"Plus, he
got your mind off Emmett for a few days, right? So that's something."

"It's
something alright," I said. "Now I just need something to take my
mind of Jack."

"Exactly,"
she said. "Like a movie."

I tilted my
head at her. If she thought a movie was going to do it, she really didn’t have
a clue how I was feeling.