Chasing Amanda (38 page)

She froze when a gentle hand touched her shoulder. She shielded her face, hiding her tears, and turned around cautiously. She was met with the solemn faces of Newton and Hannah. She stood and reached out to them.
A sign
.

Kate was thoroughly exhausted, physically, mentally, but most of all, emotionally. She felt as if her heart—and her soul—were being violently ripped apart. She thought back to that morning’s revelation.

She had been sitting in the remote room with the large mirror, facing the friendly police officer.

“Ma’am, do you think your last name might be Plummer?” he had asked.

The name had sent a chill down Kate’s spine, as memories of an older woman and man leapt into her mind from some deeply-hidden recess where they had been stored long ago. She let her face fall into her hands and tried desperately to will away the tears that welled in her eyes. She’d fought the memories for so many years! She did not want to live through them again.

“Kate?” Officer Rozutto had attempted to soothe her. He had reached over and touched her arm. “Kate, do you think your last name might be Plummer?”

The sound of the name again had sent a shudder down her spine. She could feel the blood pulsing through her veins, her heart beating in her neck. From behind her hands and through her sobs, she said, “I don’t know. I don’t know.” The sobs choked her. She took several deep breaths, still hiding her face in her hands, unable to face the officers, the two men who had taken Tracey from her, the two men who had exposed the memories that she’d pushed away for so long in an effort to survive, memories that she’d locked away and refused to revisit, the pain was too great, the longing too harsh. She feared what they’d do about her crying. She knew she should not be weak. She’d been taught not to be weak. She took a deep breath, and slowly lowered her hands until her fingertips rested just below her eyes, her mouth barely visible. She tried to stop the flow of tears, but no matter how much she tried to stop them, they streamed relentlessly, just like the memories. No matter how much she fought them now, pushed them away, she also wanted to spit them out. They were eating away at her, like the toxins.

Kate stared at him for a long time, until it became uncomfortable, and he looked down. Her voice, barely a whisper, said, “It…might be.”

“My mum…my mother, she died of the toxins. I don’t want to die from them.” She began to move her hands in an agitated fashion, remembering the promise she had made to her mother, and knowing that now she could no longer keep it. “You have to save Tracey,” she pleaded with them. “My mother told me to save her, and I did, but now she might die anyway!” Her voice escalated, fear of the toxins loomed in her mind. She grabbed Officer Rozutto’s arm urgently, “Please, you have to find Tracey. We need to save her.” She breathed heavily, looking around the room—but for what? Tracey? An exit? She didn’t know.

“Kate, it’s okay. I think you’ve learned some things that maybe aren’t so true. Tracey is going to be fine. She is not going to get sick, I promise you that.”

Kate was confused, worried about Tracey. She closed her eyes and silently prayed, asking God to watch over Tracey.

“Kate, if you are Kate Plummer, you have a mother and father who will be thrilled to see you,” Sergeant Moeler looked at Kate as though he doubted her word.

Kate folded her hands in and out of her lap nervously.

“We need to verify that you are Kate Plummer. We can do that with a DNA sample.”

“Oh, I see,” she replied even though didn’t really see. Kate was confused. She looked from one officer to the other, then down at the table, hesitated, then asked, “What if I’m not… Kate Plummer?”

“Well, then we’ll try and find out who you really are,” Sergeant Moeler said confidently.

Officer Rozutto sat in the chair across from the woman, his hands steepled just under his nose, thinking. Eventually he broke the silence that had become uncomfortable for Kate, and said, “Kate, this is going to be very hard for you, and I’m sorry for that, but do you remember how you came to live underground? Can you remember who took you there?”

Kate closed her eyes, flashes of memories played in her mind like a poorly-cut movie. Tears pushed on her closed eyelids. She felt as though she were betraying her mother by talking to them, but something in her mind told her that she had to tell. It was the right thing to do. She’d been taught not to lie, and even though her gut told her not to tell them the truth, she worried what God would think of her if she didn’t. She opened her eyes, took a deep breath, ignoring her own tears, and began telling them about how beautiful and kind her mother was, and of her childhood in the tunnels—playing hide-and-seek and listening to their echoes. Her memories of waking up scared at night, as a small girl, and how her mother would wrap her arms and legs around her from behind, and let her fall asleep like that, safely tucked within her confines, their hearts beating in rhythm.

Officer Rozutto asked her again what her mother’s name was, and she answered honestly, “I never knew her real name. She never told me, and I don’t think I ever asked. She was the little girl in the photograph that you took from our home. I called her mummy, like Tracey calls me.” The sound of Tracey’s name coming from her own lips sent a pain through her chest. She’d failed her mother. She’d failed Tracey.

Officer Rozutto gently persisted, “Do you remember how you came to live with her?”

Again she closed her eyes, shaking her head. “I know I was wearing the dress that Tracey wears to pray. I remember that flowered dress.” Kate’s face contorted, as if a painful memory were weaving its way through her mind. Sergeant Moeler and Officer Rozutto looked at each other.

“It’s okay, Kate. We can take a break if you need to,” Officer Rozutto said.

She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her cheeks flushed red. She stood. Sergeant Moeler and Officer Rozutto came quickly to their feet. She paced nervously. “I—” she said, then went silent. Officer Rozutto motioned for Sergeant Moeler to stay back, let her pace.

“I remember,” her words came out like broken glass, each one hard to piece together. She grabbed the sides of her head. Officer Rozutto came up behind her and guided her gently to the chair. She sat down, clasped her hands together in her lap and began rocking nervously. She didn’t look at Sergeant Moeler or Officer Rozutto. “I remember…I remember playing in the playground by the church. I was there with friends, and I remember trying so hard not to get my dress dirty,” she looked up with sad, red eyes. “I had gotten that dress specifically for that party,” a crooked, pained smile passed across her lips, then disappeared. She reached up and covered her face. “She came to the edge of the cornfield. She was hidden, and I could only see her face. I was so happy. She had played with me before, and I remember being so happy to see her that day.” Tears ran down her cheeks, but she didn’t feel saddened by the memory, just confused. “I walked over to her, in the cornfield, and she took me to the campsite. I remember her telling me that her mummy had died, and she really needed a friend, so I went with her.” She lowered her hands and raised her voice, “I went with her. I went.”

“And she took you underground that day?” Officer Rozutto asked.

Kate nodded, remembering. “She turned it into a game. She said it was her secret hideout, and that no one could find us there, that we could play forever, and I wouldn’t have to go to school or do anything I didn’t want to do. I remember it being…fun. Until I wanted to go home, then—” she turned away. She wiped her tears and looked down at her hands, ashamed that she had been a bother to Mummy, that she had cried and had to be put in the bad spot. She wondered what Sergeant Moeler and Officer Rozutto must think of her—that she had been a bad little girl, or selfish, or something even worse.

“Did you try to get away? Do you remember?” Sergeant Moeler asked forcefully.

She nodded, giving him an odd look, “I…I don’t remember wanting to get away from her,” she said protectively. “I just remember asking if I could go home.” She looked down again, her voice became faint, “But there was no going home. Mummy explained to me about the toxins, and how they get into your body when you live on the outside, how sometimes you don’t even know you’re sick until it is too late. She told me that was how her mummy died. She lived for about thirty years on the outside, and she was sick when they went underground, and became even sicker as time went on, but she did it to save Mummy…my mother. She didn’t want her to die, and she knew that she was sick a lot, and I guess it was from the toxins, because when Mummy died, she died just like her mother did, in the same way.” She was uncomfortable with their eyes trained on her, hanging onto her every word, disbelieving her, she could tell. “And she told me that I had to save a little girl, that it was my job, that God would be waiting for me to save someone, and if I didn’t, that He might do something awful to me.” She became angry again, “And now I’ve failed her.”

“Kate, I’m sorry you went through all that you did,” Officer Rozutto leaned across the table, “but do you understand that taking Tracey away from her parents was just as wrong as your mummy taking you away from your parents?”

Tears burned her eyes again, and she clenched them shut, speaking through clenched teeth, “But she
saved
me. What she did
wasn’t
wrong—and I saved Tracey. Maybe her parents don’t even know about the toxins, I don’t know.” She pulled back from the table, swiping at the hair that had fallen across her face. “I
saved
her!” she said fiercely.

Molly hung up the phone and flopped on the couch next to Cole. “It was Mike. He called to apologize,
again
, and then put Sal on. They think Tracey’s abductor is Kate Plummer.”

“Unbelievable,” Cole said, astonished.

“Sal said Tracey’s family is pressing charges,” Molly added, “but they’ll decide what they’re seeking for her—help or jail—after her identity is confirmed—or not.” Molly turned away, but Cole pulled her close.

“I know you’re thinking about Amanda and her family.”

Molly blinked away her tears. “She never had a chance, Cole. I wish I had done something, tried to stop that man. I wish I had screamed, called 9-1-1. Something! Anything!” she wiped her eyes. “But I didn’t, and I know I can’t change that. Amanda’s gone.”

Cole looked into her eyes, “But Tracey isn’t.”

Cole had been at the grocery store for over an hour and Molly had lain on the couch, resting, in his absence. She heard the front door open and lifted her body to an upright position, gathering her energy in order to appear a little less exhausted for Cole when he walked into the room. To her surprise, she saw Erik’s face instead. She jumped up, energized, and ran to him, throwing her arms around his body, “Erik!”

“I called last night and made flight arrangements. I was sure you figured it out the other night, when you came back from looking for the dogs? When you walked in and I was on the cell phone speaking cryptically?”

Erik held up his cell phone. “That’s the great thing,” his dark eyes sparkled. “With a cell phone, you never really know where I am.” He put his arm around his mother and kissed the top of her head, very parentally.

Molly reached her arm around his back, which felt broader than it had when he’d left for school just weeks earlier. She
had
needed to see him, to touch him. She had missed his presence.

“Are you hungry? What do you want me to make you?” Molly slipped into mommy mode again so easily, like riding a bike.

“Naw, Dad and I ate a little while ago,” his voice was deep and thoughtful.

“Oh, gosh!” Molly said. “I almost forgot. I have to return a call to Pastor Lett. I’m so sorry! Give me just a quick minute, okay?” She saw a look of disbelief pass from father to son.

“Come on, buddy, let’s watch a movie. She’ll be at least that long,” Cole said.

Home is different now
, Tracey wrote in her new journal. Everything felt different to her. The warm bubble bath had felt good; the clean clothes, her soft sheets, and her favorite toys comforted her, but she still felt funny. Her mother and father treated her too carefully, as if she could break. Tracey missed Mummy. She wanted to know where she was, if she was okay, and if she was worried about the toxins. She knew she wasn’t supposed to worry about Mummy—her parents told her that she was a bad person and that taking her had been wrong, but Tracey didn’t think she was all bad. After all, she really hadn’t hurt her—and the toxins! Tracey was so confused. She tried to explain to her mother and father about the toxins—how they killed Mummy’s mother and her grandmother—but they didn’t believe her. Tracey felt sure that they just didn’t know about the toxins. Her mother told her that what Mummy had said about the toxins was just a story that she’d made up to keep Tracey with her, but Tracey didn’t believe her mother. She really wanted to see Mummy, and she needed to learn the right way to talk to God, just in case.