Chasing Perfect (13 page)

“Why?”

“It's the rock star thing. I never had that fantasy.”

“I can't play guitar.”

“You know what I mean. The fame. I never wanted any association with someone well known. My life is quiet and I prefer it that way.”

“I'm not famous now.”

“You are, but it's different here. I told you my mom and I moved around a lot when I was young. All I ever wanted was a place to belong. Roots. Connection. Family. Mostly family. I don't need to be important
to the world. In fact I don't want that—too much responsibility. But I do want someone to care, if that makes sense.”

“It does.”

 

T
HE LAMP BEHIND THEM
caught the lighter tones of Charity's soft brown hair. It played with the side of her face, making her eyes seem larger and more mysterious. She had a look about her, a combination of satisfaction and “what the hell was I thinking?”

Not that Josh had any answers. The sex hadn't been planned, but it sure had been good. One second he'd been pissed about her date with Robert and how unexpectedly good she'd looked, the next he'd been hell bent for taking anything she offered. He wanted her again, but slower this time. He wanted her in his bed, naked, with all the time in the world to explore her body, touch her soft skin. He wanted to taste her everywhere. He wanted to make her come in a thousand different ways. He wanted to lose himself in her over and over again. So much for being a guy who didn't ever get involved.

“You have the Hendrixes,” she said. “They're your family.”

It took him a second to remember what they were talking about. “They've always been good to me. Denise wanted a daughter. After three boys she was desperate to try one more time. She really wanted a girl. She got three.”

Charity's eyes widened. “Must have been a shock.”

“Uh-huh. By the time I moved in, the girls were about three. They were a handful. Still are. Denise was pretty sick after they were born. For a while, the doctors were afraid she wasn't going to pull through. The boys were scared and there were three babies to worry about. To make the kids feel better, their dad said they could name the triplets.” He grinned.

“That sounds like trouble.”

“Not so bad. They're Nevada, Montana and Dakota.”

“It could be worse.”

“I heard Oceania was in the running.”

She winced. “Okay, then Montana is a whole lot more mainstream than that.” She looked at him. “You enjoyed living with them.”

“I did.”

“Everyone here has ties,” she said, sounding wistful. “A history.”

Josh swore silently. At times like this, he really hated the position Marsha had put him in. The secret was hers to keep or tell, but the longer she was quiet, the worse it was going to be.

“I think it's better if no one knows what happened tonight,” he said quickly, to distract her.

Charity's head snapped up. “What?”

“People will talk, what with you being new and all in town.” He shrugged. “I don't want anyone to know you're using me.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Using you?”

“You took advantage of me. Tempted me with your feminine wiles so you could trick me into having sex with you.”

She put her glass of wine on the coffee table and launched herself at him. Fortunately his drink was also safely on the table, so he was able to catch her.

She wiggled and twisted, shrieking, not quite hitting him, but coming close. He wrapped his arms around her and held her still.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I'm not sure.”

“Because if you were trying to hurt me, you failed.”

“I know.” She shifted so she could glare at him. “I'm not using you for sex.”

“You didn't even buy me dinner first.”

She shrieked. “You're the guy.”

“Great. So you not only took advantage of me, you're sexist, too.”

“Dammit, Josh.” She shoved at his chest, then dropped her head on his shoulder. “You make me crazy.”

“I do what I can.”

She chuckled. “I've never known anyone like you.”

“I get that a lot.”

“I didn't mean it as a compliment.” She looked up at him again, her expression serious. “About what we did… It would probably be better if we didn't talk about it. You're right. I am new in town and while I do
believe you're not the wild man everyone thinks, no one else does.”

“I know.” He cupped her face, then kissed her. “You're not the type to enjoy being another notch on my bike.”

“I've never heard it put quite like that, but it gets the point across.”

As she stared at him, looking both worried and hopeful, he knew she wasn't trying to be cruel. That in her world, privacy mattered and her reputation was everything. A reputation he could destroy with a casual comment or two.

He'd been living in the public eye for so long, he'd forgotten what anything else was like.

She smiled slowly. “Is there a fan club? I should probably join.”

“I'll get you an application. The dues are reasonable and you get an autographed picture of me, suitable for framing.”

She laughed. “Really? Is it that bare-butt shower shot?”

“How do you know about that?”

“Sheryl, my assistant, had it as part of her screen saver. I had to ask her to remove it.” She lowered her voice. “It's not exactly appropriate for a work setting.”

“Probably not. You don't have to worry. The fan club doesn't send out the butt shot.”

“Too bad. It was impressive.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Good.”

She was stretched out across him, her body nestling against his. Despite his recent release, he could feel the need building up inside of him. Once again, the image of taking things slow, of learning every inch of her body, filled his mind.

But this wasn't the time. What had happened earlier had been spontaneous. Taking her to his bed would imply more than he was willing to offer right now. He might not know everything about Charity, but he knew she was the type who got involved first. Who gave her heart along with her body. He wasn't anyone to be trusted with a good woman's heart.

So as much as he wanted to lower his head and kiss her again, he instead shifted out from under her. He rose, and then pulled her to her feet.

“I'm going to walk you home.”

“I know the way.”

“Maybe, but the streets are dangerous. I don't want anything to happen to you.”

“My door is about five feet from yours. What could happen?”

“You never know.”

She smiled, then picked up her sandals and her purse. He followed her to the door.

She reached for the handle, then turned back to him. “You're nothing like I thought.”

“Don't be telling people that. If anyone asks, I'm a god in bed, remember.”

“Oh, you're that. It's just…” She placed her fingers on his cheek. “Someone who's as famous as you, as successful, as good-looking, could easily be a real jerk. You're not. You care about people. You understand. I know my opinion doesn't mean anything, but your ex-wife was really stupid to let you go.”

He'd been given thousands of compliments over the years. Maybe more. Women had praised everything from his looks to his equipment. Most of the time, he'd known they were simply trying to get what they wanted.

Now, as he stared into Charity's pretty eyes and saw the earnest truth there, he knew she meant what she said.

“Thank you,” he said.

She gave him a quick smile, then opened the door. Seconds later, she was safely in her own room, and he was alone in the hallway. As he walked the few feet back to his room, he realized it had been a very long time since anyone had believed in him. No, that wasn't true. He'd always had supporters. The only person who mattered who didn't believe in him was himself.

 

J
OSH SLEPT LIKE A ROCK
, woke early and got to his office a little before seven. Eddie arrived at seven-thirty, dressed in her yellow velour track suit, and glared at him.

“This is my quiet time,” she announced. “What are you doing here?”

“Working.” He didn't bother mentioning it was his office and he employed her. Eddie wouldn't see the point of the statement.

“You're never here before eight. You better not make a habit of coming in early.”

He winked at her. “I'll do my best.”

“Did you at least make coffee?”

He pointed to the pot.

She sighed. “Sometimes, you're not half bad.”

She poured herself a cup, then returned to her desk. He could still hear her grumbling, probably at him, but ignored the sound. He had needed to focus on the proposal his attorney had sent over. A potential investment in the form of a shopping mall in Las Vegas. When the real estate market bottomed out, a lot of commercial properties went into foreclosure. Now they were available for pennies on the dollar, especially for an investor willing to pay cash.

He reviewed the demographics of the immediate neighborhood, the list of current renters and the retail competition. The corner lot of two busy streets was prime, and if he didn't like the tenant mix, he could always change it.

“It's Steve,” Eddie called.

Josh looked up. She was waving her phone at him.

“Steve, your former coach. Tall guy, balding.”

“Thanks. I got it.”

He and Steve hadn't talked in months. Maybe over a year. Josh hadn't needed a coach after he retired.

“Morning,” he said when he'd grabbed the phone. “You're up early.”

“I'm in Florida. It's practically noon here. How's it going?”

“Good. And with you?”

Steve grunted. “I'm working with a bunch of kids. A lot of potential but no discipline. They're like puppies, too easily distracted. A pretty girl in a bikini walks by and they go crashing into each other. It makes me tired.”

Josh leaned back in his chair. “Anyone special?” He meant the riders, not the girl, but knew Steve would figure that out.

“There's this one guy. Jorge. Poor family, didn't start riding seriously until high school. He has a lot of catching up to do, but I think he has it.”

“Looking for sponsorship?” Josh had been approached before. So far he hadn't been willing, but if Steve thought the guy was worth it, he could consider the investment.

“I wasn't, but let me think about it. You'd want to come see him ride before you decide.”

Josh hadn't thought that far ahead, although his former coach was right. He would have to fly to Florida before making a decision. Which meant stepping foot back in the world where he'd once been king. Something he'd been avoiding for the past two years.

“But Jorge isn't why I called,” Steve told him. “It's about the charity bike race. You heard we lost our corporate sponsor.”

“That's what happens when the CEO steals the pension fund and runs off with his secretary.”

“Apparently.” Steve sounded frustrated. “You know these races happen all over the country and normally I wouldn't bother you, but this is different. The proceeds go to support medical research for juvenile diabetes and my sister's kid has it, so it's personal. I saw your town was asking for more information, and I figured you were behind that. I wanted to talk to you personally, to do what you could to get them to say yes. Everything is in place. We have a lot of great riders lined up. You'd get to see a lot of friends. And Jorge will be racing, so it would save you a trip. Hell, we'd even let you enter if you wanted to stage a comeback. You were always the best, Josh. No reason to think that's changed.”

Josh felt as if someone had slugged him in the gut. “I, ah, haven't been training,” he said, knowing his night rides had kept him in decent shape but nowhere near ready to compete. Assuming he ever could. Hell, at this point, just the thought of it had him shaking like a little girl.

“There's time,” Steve told him. “You know what to do. If you're interested. You retired too early, Josh. I know you were shaken by what happened to Frank, but walking away didn't bring him back.”

“Always the coach.”

“I try. Can you help with the race?”

Josh had been wrestling with his demons for two
years now. So far they'd won every round. Maybe it was time for a little payback.

Before he could come up with an easy list of why this was a massive mistake, he said, “I know a few people in town. I can make the race happen.”

“That's great. I owe you. Anything, Josh. I mean it.” Steve paused. “Are you going to ride?”

No. He couldn't ride with a five-year-old on a bike with training wheels. There was no way he was ready. If he said yes, he would only humiliate himself in front of the best riders in the sport. Word would spread and everyone would know he was a frightened, broken loser. Not much of a legacy.

“Josh?”

Dammit it all to hell, he thought and held the phone so tightly, he was surprised it didn't snap. “Sure,” he said, hoping he sounded casual instead of terrified. “I'll ride.”

“O
BVIOUSLY THE MISSING
money is our primary concern,” Marsha said from her place at the head of the table. “I had an unpleasant call from the governor this morning. It's not an experience I want to repeat.” She sighed. “I'm not blaming you, Robert, I'm just frustrated.”

“So am I,” he said. “You've hired an auditor. She'll be here next week. In the meantime, we've already begun our own investigation. Three quarters of a million dollars is a lot of money to lose.”

Charity heard the worry in his voice and understood the cause. He was the treasurer and the money had gone missing on his watch. He had to be frantic. She wished she could help, but her accounting expertise was limited to a single class she'd taken in college and barely passed. Math wasn't exactly her thing.

The morning meeting had started right on time, with several items on the agenda. Charity enjoyed the review of everything going on in the world that was Fool's Gold. Normally the items were discussed in order, but for the past thirty minutes, Pia had been squirming in her seat.

Charity tried not to stare, but it was difficult to ignore Pia's eager expression and tapping foot.

Marsha made a few notes on the pad in front of her, then glanced at Pia. “I assume you're not trying to tell me you have to go to the bathroom?”

“No.”

“Then why don't you tell us what is obviously the most exciting news ever.”

Pia grinned. “I can wait my turn.”

“Perhaps, but then you'll so annoy one of the city council members that she'll snap and kill you. What is it, Pia?”

Pia cleared her throat. “Remember that bike race that lost its sponsors and had nowhere to go? We're getting it! I've spoken with the committee leaders and they're very excited about the opportunity to bring their event to our town. The bike race is only one day, but there's a celebrity golf tournament, as well. We're talking three, maybe four nights of people staying.”

She paused as the council members started murmuring to each other.

“That's huge,” Gladys said. “Four nights? We're talking some major revenue.”

“It's going to be a logistical nightmare,” Alice said. “I'll need overtime approval and money to hire a few temporary people to help with crowd control.”

“Get me an estimate,” Marsha told her. “Pia, do you have a full report prepared?”

“I just found out this morning. I'll have it to you
tomorrow. Most of the preliminary work is done. We did that golf tournament last year, so I'll use that for a blueprint. I'm talking to Josh later, to get a feel for the race.”

Gladys raised her eyebrows. “Is that all you'll be getting a feel for?”

“Not everyone has your thing for Josh,” Pia told the older woman.

“Name one woman who doesn't.”

Most of the women chuckled. Charity did her best to look as if she was enjoying the joke without drawing attention to herself.

Last night was burned into her brain. She couldn't believe what had happened, what she'd done. She'd never been that wild or uninhibited in her life and she'd certainly never made love with a guy she barely knew.

And yet…she couldn't seem to find even a hint of a regret. Not only because the physical experience had been incredible, but because the more time she spent with Josh, the more she actually liked him.

Now, as Pia went into more detail about the race, Charity wondered how he would handle the news. It would probably upset him, she thought, feeling sympathy. His past would be discussed, the press might even want interviews. Plus, having all those racers in town would remind him of everything he'd been forced to walk away from.

If he were anyone else, she would suggest that he
head out of town for the weekend and avoid the circus. But Josh wouldn't. He would stay and be available and not let anyone know how it was eating him up inside.

“There's more,” Pia said, her eyes bright with excitement. “I saved the best for last.”

“I'm not sure how there can be more,” Marsha told her.

“There is. Josh is going to be riding in the race. He's making his comeback right here in Fool's Gold.”

Conversation exploded. Everyone was talking over everyone else. Even Alice looked happy about the news. Charity did her best to join in the moment, but it was difficult for her to get her mind around the information. Josh racing? How could he?

She'd heard the pain in his voice when he talked about the accident and his inability to ride with anyone. Wouldn't racing mean training and exposure? Wouldn't the whole town see what he was doing?

Even as she asked herself the questions, she wondered if that was the point. If he'd decided to face the problem head-on. If he was successful, it would be an impressive moment. But if he failed, the world would know. Talk about jumping in the deep end. She didn't know if she should admire him or tell him to think about therapy.

Marsha called for order and the meeting resumed. When it was finished, Charity made sure she walked out with Robert. They had some unfinished business.

“I had a great time last night,” he said as they
headed down the hall. “What are you doing this weekend?”

She winced silently. She waited until they'd stepped into her office to speak.

“Thanks for inviting me over,” she began. “Your home is lovely. Especially the garden. The thing is, while I would love for us to be friends, I don't see us having a romantic relationship.”

He frowned at her. “I don't understand. Last night I thought you had a good time.”

“I did.” A polite lie, she told herself.

“Is there someone else?”

“No.”

Not a lie. Yes, she and Josh had done the wild thing, but that did not a relationship make. After all, it wasn't as if she was in love with him.

“When we first went out, I thought I was ready to get involved,” she said. “But I'm not. I'm busy with working and getting settled. You're great, Robert. I know you'll find someone.”

“In this town, finding someone is the easy part,” he said, sounding more confused than annoyed. “I guess I understand. I thought you were special, Charity. That's why I wanted to get to know you better.”

“I appreciate that.”

“If you're sure?”

“I am.”

“Okay.”

He left. She returned to her desk, relieved there
hadn't been anything remotely uncomfortable about their conversation. A cheap lesson, she told herself. Workplace romances were innately difficult. She should avoid them.

Josh didn't work in City Hall, a little voice in her whispered. Interesting, but not significant, she told herself firmly. Josh was a fantasy. She was looking for someone real. Although the way she'd felt in his arms last night had been about as real as it could get.

 

“M
Y LIFE IS INSANE
,” Pia said, two days later, as she sat across from Charity at the Fox and Hound. “I'm loving the idea of the bike race, but talk about extra work. I may come after you for help when it gets closer.”

“Absolutely,” Charity told her.

“I'm lining up a team, then figuring out what volunteers can do. Crystal's really excited about the whole thing, especially Josh coming out of retirement.” Pia grinned. “Like the rest of us, she once had a thing for him. Before she met her husband.”

“It does seem to be a universal condition,” Charity said, hoping she sounded both friendly and neutral.

“Crystal's great at organizing, but with her being sick, she can't always be available. Still, I'll take what I can get.” She scanned the menu. “The Josh angle is the best part. It'll give us a lot more press than we would have gotten otherwise. I never understood why he retired when he did. He was at the top of his game. That last season, he couldn't lose. It was amazing to watch.”

Until the race where Frank died, Charity thought, knowing the loss had devastated Josh and stolen a piece of him.

The server came and they placed their orders. When she'd left, Pia leaned toward Charity. “You look great. That jacket is adorable. Am I allowed to say that?”

Charity laughed. “Yes. Pia, it's fine. I told you before, I appreciate your blunt, albeit drunk, honesty about how I looked. I'm having fun remembering how to do the girly stuff. I'm even getting highlights.”

“They'd look good on you.” Pia sipped her diet soda. “The problem is where to go. The two best places in town are owned by two sisters who have a serious rivalry. Not only for clients, but for gossip. Each of them has to be the first to know anything. If you're loyal to one, you're the enemy of the other. I get around the problem by alternating back and forth. They try to pin me down, but I won't let them.”

“That sounds like a lot of work.”

“It is, but worth it to keep the peace. You're still living at the hotel, aren't you? There used to be a salon there, but it closed. How is it living like the rich and famous?”

“Not so rich and certainly not famous. It's fine until I can find a place of my own. I get a special rate through the city.” Compliments of Josh, she thought. Marsha had told her about the discount when she'd hired Charity.

“I've started looking for a house to buy,” she con
tinued. “There was one place I saw that was terrific. It's a restored craftsman-style house. I love everything about it except the price. I heard the owner would be willing to bargain, but even then I'm not sure I can swing it.”

Pia frowned. “Which house is that?”

Charity told her the street. “There's a wide porch and a beautiful backyard. I love the mature trees on the street.”

“Who told you the owner was willing to deal?”

Charity tried not to feel trapped. “Um, Josh mentioned it.”

“Did he?” Pia's mouth turned into a knowing smile. “He must really like you. He put a lot of money into that property and was expecting top dollar for it.”

“What do you mean?”

“He owns the house. He bought it a few years ago and fixed it up. Actually he was still racing then, so he had the work done. He used it as a rental, then decided to sell it. I know a few people are interested and he's not lowering the price for them.”

Pia's expression turned speculative. “He's always put business before the ladies, but that seems to be changing.”

Charity did her best not to blush. “I have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't know Josh owned the house.”

“You do now.”

“But he didn't tell me.”

He hadn't even hinted when he'd shown her the house. Although looking back, she should have guessed something was up when he'd had a key.

“Why would he do that?”

Pia raised her eyebrows. “You tell me.”

“We're not together.”

“Maybe he wants to be.”

“No. Guys like him don't…” She shook her head. “He's too…”

“Rich, successful, hot?”

“I'm not his type.”

“How do you know?”

“Then I'll pose it as a question. Am I his type?”

“Until today, I would have said no. But maybe times are changing.”

 

C
HARITY LEFT HER LUNCH
with Pia nearly as hungry as when she'd arrived. She'd only been able to pick at her salad, mostly because she was thinking about Josh and the house and what Pia had said.

It made no sense for him to give her a break on the price when other people would be offering him more. It implied a relationship they didn't have. The fact that he'd done it before the “incident”—as she was now thinking of it—should have helped, but only made the situation more confusing.

Just as mind-bending was Pia's implication that Josh might be interested in her. He wasn't. His ex-wife had been some gorgeous actress. Charity was going to
have to go online and find out who, exactly. But the point was, he was not someone orbiting in her universe. Interested? On what planet?

Yes, they'd had sex, but only because they'd both been carried away by the moment. Her more literally, but still. She refused to read too much into a single evening of hot lovemaking. That's how hearts got broken.

She did her best to push any thoughts of Josh out of her mind, only to have them resurface when she saw his offices up ahead. Maybe she should simply ask the question outright. Why was he giving her a deal on a house when he didn't have to? Asking him was the adult, mature thing to do. She squared her shoulders and walked into the building.

 

“T
HERE'S SOMEONE HERE
to see you,” Eddie told Josh. “She doesn't have an appointment.
She
being the operative word here. Although I'll give her credit. She's not like the usual groupies who come looking for you. She's out of her teens, for one thing, and dressed like a regular person.”

Josh wasn't in the mood to dash anyone's hopes this afternoon. He had a lot to deal with, including figuring out how he was going to start training—a relatively easy problem to solve—while dealing with an irrational inability to ride with other people. A problem with a less clear solution.

“You can handle her,” he told Eddie.

“I can, but I don't want to. She claims you know her. Charity Jones.”

He was out of his seat before she'd finished speaking. “Why didn't you say so?”

“I just did. Are you giving me attitude?”

He ignored her outrage and went out to the reception area. Charity stood in the center, looking nervous and determined. She managed a faint smile, which made him want to promise to fix whatever problem she had.

“I didn't have an appointment,” she told him. “Do you have a minute?”

“Sure. You don't need an appointment.”

“It would be nice if
someone
made one,” Eddie said with a sniff.