Chasing Power (23 page)

She’d been taken.

Or she’d fled.

Or both, fled then been taken.

Had she packed anything? That would tell Kayla which. She sprinted to the bathroom. Both toothbrushes were still there. Hairbrush. Deodorant. Body wash. Vitamins, an entire alphabet’s worth.

If Moonbeam had fled quickly, she might have left it all behind—but she wouldn’t have left Kayla. Not willingly. She would have stayed until Kayla was back and then they’d have fled together. And Dad could have found her, waiting for Kayla …

She told herself to quit jumping to conclusions. Just because the house was a mess didn’t mean anything terrible had happened. Maybe Moonbeam had overslept and been late for work. Maybe she simply hadn’t felt like cleaning.

Kayla pulled out her phone. Hands shaking, she dialed her mother’s work number. She crossed to her futon and sat on the edge as the phone rang.

“Envision Crystal and Candles. How may I help you?” Moonbeam.

Kayla choked back a sob. Her mother was okay. She was here. She hadn’t been taken. Dad hadn’t found them. “When I saw the garden and the house, I thought … Mom, I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Kayla? Kayla, you’re home! Are you all right? Don’t leave. Stay there. I’m coming home. Promise me you won’t leave. Stay right where you are until I get there.”

“I’ll be here,” Kayla promised.

The phone clicked off, and Kayla stared at it for a moment. Now that she knew her mother was okay, she wished she hadn’t called. In about seven minutes, Moonbeam would barrel through the door and demand an explanation. Kayla wasn’t sure she had the energy to lie. But she knew she didn’t have the strength to tell the truth. She flopped onto her futon, put her hands over her face, and groaned out loud.

Moonbeam made it home in six minutes. She burst through the door and leaped over the heaps of books and crystals and bags of herbs. As Kayla pushed herself up to sitting, Moonbeam threw herself onto the futon and hugged her. Moonbeam didn’t say anything. Just held Kayla tight. Kayla squeezed her eyes shut, suddenly wanting to cry.

Eventually, Moonbeam let go. Kayla drew in a deep breath.

Moonbeam looked at her as if examining her for a medical study. She checked her eyes, brushed the hair from her forehead, cupped her chin in her hands, and stared at her. “You nearly killed me.”

“I’m sorry.” The words didn’t go far enough. They sounded hollow, even though she meant them. She hadn’t intended to scare Moonbeam. She’d meant to make things better.

“Are you all right? Why didn’t you call?” She stroked Kayla’s hair as she talked. “You were supposed to be home in two hours! That’s all! A shopping spree with Selena! Where have you been? Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?”

Kayla pulled back. “No, nothing like that. I’m fine. I—” Her mother looked so stricken. The words lodged in Kayla’s throat. She didn’t want to lie.

“Were you with that boy?” Moonbeam asked.

Kayla nodded.

“You couldn’t call? Just once? Just to tell me where you are. Or that you’re alive.” There were tears, fresh in Moonbeam’s eyes. They threatened to spill down her cheeks.

“I thought you wouldn’t understand.” There, that wasn’t a lie.

“Do you think you’re in love?” There was an edge to Moonbeam’s voice.

Drawing back farther, Kayla looked at her, really looked. Her face was pale, more than simply makeup-less pale. Her eyes were sunken, and the circles underneath were so dark that they looked like bruises. Her hair was loose and snarled, the frizz matted in several places. “No,” Kayla said. She’d never thought of Moonbeam as fragile before. Needing taking care of, yes. Needing protection and watching, yes. But not breakable.

“Good.”

Kayla tried to think of what to say, a plausible lie that wouldn’t feel like a lie, or at least words that would soothe her.

Moonbeam stood up. “Oh, Kayla, I’m so very disappointed in you. I thought I could trust you. You were my mature girl, taking care of me. But I suppose I was asking too much of you. You
are
still a girl, my little girl, who will make mistakes and learn and grow … exactly as you’re supposed to.” She didn’t sound angry; she sounded sad, which was worse.

Kayla didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t promise it wouldn’t happen again. “I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself—and you. You can trust me to do that.”

Moonbeam shook her head, and her hair rustled softly. “I’m supposed to take care of you, not the other way around, and I clearly haven’t been doing a good job of it.” She shuffled over to
a basket. Setting it upright, she selected several pouches of herbs. “You won’t like this, but believe me, it’s for your own good. You need boundaries. Limits. You need someone to set rules for you and say enough is enough. And that someone is supposed to be your parent. Me. So from here on in, I will be the parent that you need, not the parent you want.”

“Moonbeam?” Kayla stood, alarmed. “
Mom
, you’re a wonderful parent. You’re fine. I’m the one who screwed up. I should have found a way to call you. I didn’t mean to worry you. There was just … It was … I can’t explain yet. But please believe me, I’m doing the right thing. You have to trust me.”

“You violated my trust.” Moonbeam picked up the Kayla doll, and she dropped it into the basket of herbs. “Unless you can explain in much more detail?” She straightened the piles of books. She scooped up the crystals and positioned them on the shelves. She folded scarves and ribbons. Watching her, Kayla felt her heart sink. Her mother only cleaned this frenetically when she was seriously upset. And she only let the house get this messy when she was seriously worried.

“I … I can’t explain. Not right now.”

Moonbeam sighed as she worked. She piled various amulets and statues on the kitchen table, and then sorted them rapidly into piles that seemed random to Kayla. “I remember being your age. You feel like you’re alone. You can’t trust anyone. No one understands. But it’s not true. You can trust me.”

Kayla thought of the photo in her pocket. She wanted to ask about Daniel’s mother and why Moonbeam had kept in touch, even going as far as to tell them Kayla’s new name and where they lived, but then she’d have to explain how she knew.

“If you truly are dealing with something major, you need to
tell me so I can help you.” Soon, she’d cleared a path from the beds to the kitchen and also the door.

Kayla wanted so desperately to tell her. Just dump the entire thing on her mother’s lap and let her help. But Moonbeam wouldn’t help. She’d want to run.

“For the rest of the summer, until you have a little space from what you are feeling, a little distance from this boy, I need you to stay here. You may come with me to run errands. If you want to accompany me to work, that’s fine. But otherwise, I want you here. I
need
you here. For my peace of mind, as well as for your safety.” Retrieving the basket of herbs, Moonbeam walked out the door into the garden. Kayla followed. Speaking softly, Moonbeam recited the melodious words that slid through the air and then vanished as she paced the perimeter of the yard, circling the house counterclockwise, tossing herbs at the hedges. Like green and brown snow, they sprinkled on the bushes, the gnomes, the ceramic fairies, and the circle of protective stones.

“Moonbeam—”

“The boy is obviously a bad influence on you, and Selena can’t be trusted either. You convinced her to lie for you. Several times. I don’t want you to see either of them for several weeks. One month. After that, we’ll reevaluate.” She continued to walk as she talked, reinforcing the protection ring around the house. Kayla had never seen her do this when it wasn’t the solstice, and she’d never used herbs. It was always incense and candles. The fact that she was varying from her routine … She must be beyond severely upset. Kayla had to fix this.

Kayla hurried after her. “Moonbeam—”

“This isn’t open to discussion, Kayla. I’m your mother, and I am, for once, going to act like it.” Moonbeam completed the
circle and wiped her hands on her skirt. The crushed herbs left streaks on the fabric, but she didn’t seem to notice. “I need to return to work. I do have responsibilities. Rent doesn’t pay itself. The food you eat doesn’t magically appear in the refrigerator.” She leveled her finger at Kayla. “You will be here when I get back.”

“I have responsibilities too.”

“Kayla. You’re making poor decisions. You need some time apart from the bad influences in your life, to think about your priorities and your role in this family. This is for your own good. You need to focus and regroup.”

Kayla felt as if she’d been slapped. The air was sucked out of her. Moonbeam never spoke to her with that tone of voice.

Moonbeam’s expression softened. “I love you, Kayla. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t love you. You know that, right?” She carried the basket back into the house, stowed it on a shelf, and fetched her purse.

“Wait, Moonbeam, I’m doing something important!”

At the door, Moonbeam spun to face her. She seemed to tower, her expression not at all like that of the mild hippie-like woman she portrayed. “Then tell me what you’re doing! Convince me! I’ll listen.”

“Can’t you just … trust me?”

“You didn’t come home. You didn’t call. You won’t explain. No, I can’t trust you. You’re doing something I wouldn’t approve of, otherwise you’d tell me. So the answer is no.” Softer, she said, “I’m sorry, Kayla.”

She was right, in a way. Moonbeam would never approve of what Kayla was doing with Daniel. But still, she had to do it.
“Just … please trust me for a few days more. I promise after that, everything will be fine. Better than fine. I just … can’t tell you why. Moonbeam, before this, have I ever let you down? Disappointed you in any way?”

“Tell me this one thing and tell me honestly. Are you using your power?”

Kayla opened her mouth to lie. But the words wouldn’t come out.

Sadly, Moonbeam nodded. “I’ll be home with dinner.” And then she left. Kayla trailed her into the garden, then slowed, watching as she marched out the gate without a backward glance, her shoulders stiff and her back straight. The chimes rang in her wake. Kayla sank onto the bench. How had everything gone so wrong so fast?

She took a minute to breathe, and then she
did
“focus and regroup.” She wouldn’t let this stop her. She couldn’t. Not now. Not when she was so close to making everything better!

Marching back into the house, she pulled out her emergency backpack and added extra food and water. She then checked her pockets. The lighter had fuel, but the razor blade was dull. She fetched a new one. Prepared, she paced around the house.

Yanking out her phone, she texted Daniel,
Ready to look for next stone?
He probably hadn’t had a chance to recover yet, but she had three hours until Moonbeam would be back from work. If he came anytime in that window, she’d be fine. If he didn’t and Moonbeam caught Kayla leaving … she couldn’t imagine what the fallout would be like. She’d never seen Moonbeam like this.

Kayla tried to call Selena, then sent a text and an email.

She then tried Daniel again.

No response from either.

After a while, she grew tired of waiting for them. There was only so long one could wrap oneself in misery and angst and gritty determination before it lost its luster.

She fetched Moonbeam’s pruners and gardening gloves and set to work outside yanking up weeds and trimming the bushes. Sawing at a particularly thick weed, she pictured her father, standing with the stone in his hand, leaving her with Daniel injured. The weed was healthy, and the stalk resisted the pruner. She hacked at it with a trowel and then stabbed it with the pruners until it oozed white sap. After the weed fell, she stomped on it for good measure, completely aware she was stomping on her metaphorical father. It made her feel minutely better.

She could do this. She could stop him. She could fix everything. Kayla repeated that to herself as she attacked the next weed, then the next.

The chimes rang—someone was here! Carrying the pruners, she rushed to the gate and opened it. She felt a wave of dizziness crash through her, and she steadied herself on the hedges.

“Kayla?” It was Daniel.

He grasped her shoulders and propelled her backward to sit on the bench. She sank into it and then shook her head as the dizziness cleared. “Hey. Sorry. Just felt a little … I’m fine. Are you okay?” She studied him. He seemed worn down, but he wasn’t shaking or anything.

“Yeah.” He scuffed at the dirt with his toe. “Got your message. You really think we still have a chance? You think the third one is still hidden?”

Kayla shrugged. “My bet is that my father is on the third trail right now. It would be nice to get there first.”

Daniel flashed her a smile. “Then let’s do this.”

Grabbing her pack, she took his hand. The world flashed around them.

Instantly, her stomach constricted and flipped. It heaved up toward her mouth. She dropped to her knees, holding her stomach as the world spun around her.

She heard Daniel’s voice, calling her name, and then she felt as if her stomach lining were turning inside out. Spots danced in front of her eyes as she threw up again and again. She felt hands on her shoulders, and she was cradled as the rain forest dipped and swirled around her.

Another flash, and then the nausea swept away as fast as it had swept in. The world steadied. She raised her head. She was back in her garden. Her stomach felt empty. Her throat hurt. Gently, Daniel guided her to the bench again. “I’m okay.” She pushed him away. “I’m … What the hell was that?”

“Just … breathe deep. I’ll get you … What do you need?”

She looked at him. Her mouth tasted like sour peanut butter. Her hair clung to her sweaty forehead and cheeks. “I feel fine now. Completely fine. Gross, but fine.” She tried standing. She didn’t feel a bit dizzy or nauseated. Daniel hovered near her as if expecting her to collapse into his arms.

“I’ll get you some water.” He raced into the house and then came out again with a glass of water. She sipped it, swished the water, and then spat on the flowers. She drank more water. Her stomach felt achy and empty but she didn’t feel at all queasy.